It’s a fact that I love him to pieces
And I’ve fallen apart many times before
Every day I fear I’m going to lose him
It’s a terror that strikes me to the core
I feel like there’s no time to be upset
If something’s wrong I actively ignore it
For if I were to lose him tomorrow
God, well, honestly, I’d feel like ****
But all this anger has nowhere to go
And any irritation further fans the flames
I hate this, I never wanted to feel this way
All these thoughts make me feel ashamed

A slow burning fuse
Watch the spark move up the rope
I could interrupt any time I wish
Or maybe I'm just flattering myself in hopes
That I won't lose control
That in this I have a choice
So many thoughts and emotions
But I can't seem to find my voice

When you’re on top of the world
The high is unlike anything that exists
But the fall is a long, long way down
A motivation for those above to persist
Word of warning to those still climbing
Hold your desires close and don’t let go
All of us fall eventually, inevitably, but
Distance is so much worse when it’s slow

You sit or you stand there, not moving
While I’m shaking with the effort to stay
You laugh when I try to tell you something
Already you know what I’m trying to say
It’s selfish, I’m being entirely unfair
But I want to cause an effect
I live for you, all I own I share
And I resent it sometimes when I reflect
I spiral over events I forget within hours
Throw words like tangible objects at you
Forget that you’ve brought me flowers
Forget how you smile at “Love you too”s
I move everything in your direction
Where you are is where I want to be
My thought process needs a bit of correction
I know even when you’re far, you still love me

My love, I see you walk in rays of light
Crowned in gold, a wondrous sight
You hold me close and my heart takes flight

My moods shift like today's weather
The sun tries to shine between the clouds
When bright, it's beautiful and I feel better
If I do anything, I can feel proud
When the day goes on and gray takes over
My outlook grows darker again
I have to remind myself it won't last forever
Eventually the storm will reach its end

I’m holding a beautiful kitten
I’ve wanted her for countless years
Multiple times I’ve already been bitten
Keep telling myself it’s just her fears
I put food and water out for her
A reminder she’s the one I choose
Whenever I can, I stroke her fur
So she knows, this fight? She won’t lose
We’ll only be together a short while
Every day I offer the best of my smiles
Communication feels only one way
I hope I’ll get through to her someday