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Aaron LaLux Oct 2018
It’s like,
I want to stay in and also get out,
it’s like I want some company,
but don’t want to deal with the accompanying conversation,

it’s like I like humans,
but I don’t like what they’re about,
it’s like I like life,
but I’m tired of living,

it’s like everything seems to matter so much,
at the same time nothing seems to matter at all,
and I really want to share all this to someone,
and I’ve got the new iPhone in my hand but no one to call,

how’d I become so good,
at Social Self-Sabotage,
saw a hoodie that said Anti-Social Socialite,
and it felt like mind reading because that’s what I’d thought,

dressed to the nines as we dance with the Devil,
at the same time as we waltz with God,
“Put your left foot in pull your left foot out,
you do the Hokie-Pokie what’s this all about?”,

it’s like,
I want to stay in and also get out,
it’s like I want some company,
but don’t want to deal with the accompanying conversation…

∆ LaLux ∆

October 6th, 2018
Venice, California
Aaron LaLux Oct 2018
Sun Set Love Letters

Saw the sun set on Venice Beach tonight,
first time in awhile,
I’ve just returned from a trip overseas,
still in a constant state of both admittance and denial,

after awhile,
we realize nothing really matters,
at the same time that everything does,
so where does that put us at this point in the equation,

well here I guess,
with me writing you more love letters,

anyways where were we,
I don’t seem to be able to remember,
lately my memory hasn’t been so great,
my health has begun to deteriorate and I see everything in patterns,

oh yeah,
I remember now,
we were where I tell you of how,
I saw the sun set on Venice beach tonight,

and the tide or rather waves,
were bigger than I’d ever seen them,
and I’m struggling to stay alive,
I take it one day at a time that’s right per diem,

and I’ve got businesses all over the world,
but all I really want to do is write you these love letters,
because I still love you even after all we’ve been through,
and I vowed to stick with you for worse or for better,

even though after awhile,
we realize nothing really matters,
at the same time that everything does,
so where does that put us at this point in the equation?..

∆ LaLux ∆

Oct 5th 2018
Aaron LaLux Oct 2018
Making memories,
wondering who sent for me,
if it wasn’t you then who was it,
and if you didn’t why are you here anyways,

have man have machine,
have real life have dream,
were you born or were you made,
there isn’t a difference or so it would seem,

you don’t believe,
because you’ve never seen a miracle,
that’s why you **** for a fee,
and why you’re always so cynical,

and maybe that’s why I write,
more than I do anything else,
as a way of trying to jog your memory,
while running up the bill,

at the bar trying to wash away,
things I can’t recall,
in this present day dystopia,
call me Jack I’ll call you Jill,

getting drowsy,
must be the pills,
on a plane,
going somewhere else,

travel some much,
sometimes i wake up and don’t know what country I’m in,
it’s a dog eat dog world so cat naps can be dangerous,
especially when you drink and drink sleep walking on Ambien,

a creature with amnesia and beautiful features,
how’d you become such a miracle,
are you really that perfect,
or is that just the way I remember you,

guess it doesn’t matter either way,
because maybe I don’t even remember you,
maybe you’re not mine because maybe you never were,
maybe nothing is mine not even the memories I have of you,

maybe it’s all just programmed,
by a woman behind a glass wall,
maybe in the end we have the same thing we had in the beginning,
which is absolutely nothing at all,

making memories,
wondering who sent for me,
if it wasn’t you then who was it,
and if you didn’t why are you here anyways…

∆ LaLux ∆
Aaron LaLux Oct 2018
Watching Trending videos on YouTube,
2 of the top ten videos are dead,
which means I’m watching ghosts,
having deja vu see it seems I’ve seen this scene before,

Rest In Peace Mac Miller,
Resit In Pease Xxxtentacion,
this spirits have be writing frantically,
going for gold or at least an honorable mention,

want to be anything except forgotten,
skin is fresh but core is rotten,
scent of cologne watching Post Malone,
give an interview on Jimmy Fallon,

seems we’ve fallen,
and our idols are a sign of where we’re at,
war never stopped it just changed forms,
from Germany to Vietnam to Iraq,

as the sun sets over San Francisco Bay,
I watch the colors run,
indifferent to the cause and the effect,
nothing’s perfect but the sky always looks so beautiful,

as I gaze out this bedroom window,
in a house I do not own,
just touched down from Australia,
back in The Bay for another round,

taking a moment to reflect,
in my feelings as the sun sets,
and it feels like we’ve seen it all,
even though we know we haven’t seen anything yet,

watching Trending videos on YouTube,
2 of the top ten videos are dead,
which means I’m watching ghosts,
having deja vu see it seems I’ve seen this scene before…

∆ LaLux ∆
Aaron LaLux Oct 2018
I’m definitely Matrixed in,
feel like every girlfriend is a program,
feel like every experience is a dream,
feel like I don’t feel anything at all now,

maybe I’m a machine,
maybe I’m not a human being,
maybe I’m more cyborg than Sapien,
maybe I’m more electron than neuron,

and maybe none of this matters,

maybe we’re cogs in the vehicle,
maybe we’re abnormal cyborgs,
more flamboyant than incog,
more insignificant and important,

and maybe I’m special,
and maybe I do stand out more than most,
but at the end of the day I don’t think it matters,
because when it’s all said and done everything is just dust,

no justice,
it’s justice,
feeling a bit awkward and bazaar,
suspecting that they spiked the fruit punch,

and I don’t know for sure that none of this is real,
but I do have a pretty strong hunch,

want fresh squeezed not pre-made,
want a spontaneous feeling not an automated response,
want to stay here with you for as long as I can,
but I think that might be impossible because I’m probably already gone,

so please say something real or say nothing at all,
constantly trying to find ways to reaffirm our existence,
that’s why I still go out socialize and initiate relationships,
even though every time I do it all feels sterile cliche and pre-rehearsed,  

but maybe that’s because we’re living in a Matrix,

I’m definitely Matrixed in,
feel like every girlfriend is a program,
feel like every experience is a dream,
feel like I don’t feel anything at all now…

∆ LaLux ∆
Aaron LaLux Sep 2018
As much as you may dwell on the past,
and as much as you may hold onto regrets,
there is no going backwards,
not even by a single step,

so we move forward,
past the torment,
past the pain that lingers incessantly,
into the future history of now,

“Hello,
how have you been,
what more do you want from me,
I’ve already given you my everything,

what more do you want from yourself,
are you satisfied with where you’re at in your life,
I know it’s crazy how we can’t take back a moment,
can’t reverse the hurt can’t make any wrongs right,

and dwelling too much will make a sane man crazy,
so try to remind yourself to find yourself always in the present,
and let’s make the best memories we’ve ever had tonight,
then forget them all so we don’t recollect in regret,

because as much as you may dwell on the past,
and as much as you may hold onto regrets,
there is no going backwards,
not even by a single step…

∆ LaLux ∆
Aaron LaLux Sep 2018
Just touched down from Darwin,
2 hour layover in Sydney & I’m starvin’,
met a girl at the airport,
and invited her to dinner,

they say there’s no such thing as a free lunch,
but I’ve got a credit card that let’s me dine,
at almost any restaurant in any country,
on any continent in any dateline,

so I often invite,
beautiful girls and other fellow travelers,
to dine with me as my guest for free,
where we share stories over appetizers,

more peace stories than war stories,
more love than hate,
because when you really get to know someone,
you find you differ in less ways than you relate,

anyways,
there we were,
both on rest stops till our next stop,
two world travelers,

I’d noticed an engagement ring,
more than a modest sized rock,
but I noticed the finger on which it sat,
made the look a bit odd,

see she wore the ring,
on her ******* instead of her ring finger,
so it was more of a fck you instead of a love you,
I asked her if there was a reason for this position,

she said it was because,
it simply didn’t fit on her ring finger,
that it was a simple mix up that was it but,
I suspected there was a reason that was deeper,

so I questioned her intentions,
why was she with this man but still acting like a free woman,
why was she speaking of “exploding like a volcano!”,
when she sees a man and feels an attraction,

about how she had a fantasy,
of meeting a beautiful Australian man,
on a beach and he’d teach her to surf,
and she’d ride his surfboard from the wave to the sand,

this was when I decided to speak up,
to tell her I didn’t think this engagement would work out,
that maybe tying the knot with a man was already a dad,
was not the best idea for a woman with no kids that liked to go out,

that maybe I was in a way,
an Angel of Divine Intervention,
and how every moment of our lives,
had led us up to that instant,

I told her no man owned her,
that her body was hers alone to control,
that life is too short to compromise,
that there is no moment other than now,

I told her that that was the reason,
that I didn’t have a wife,
because there are many women I love,
and to love only one wouldn’t be right,

how can I tell one of my lovers,
that she’s better than all the rest,
how can I tell any of the others,
that they’re not as good as the one that I’m with,

I can’t,

because love is not confined into the body of one,
love is free to love and do what love does,
and with that we finished our tapas,
and finished our rendezvous with cappuccinos and hugs,

back into the world,
back into the embrace of another lover,
back into the future,
to make more memories with more women at more dinners…

∆ LaLux ∆
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