I must confess

I had *** with my ex, yesterday

It isn't exactly what I intended on



Their warm body fit mine like a broken in baseball glove
I don't expect much to come of it
I'm learning to not expect much of
anything



We enjoyed each other's energy

As I ran my fingers through their hair

Like I did before

So frequently



                                 But this time it was different

This time, I didn't care of tomorrow
Wondering if I could do this again
Wondering if I could keep them forever



                Instead, I recognized the beauty in a moment

I was grateful for their being

I was grateful for their fruit
To let my tongue dance

With the idea that forever is the ugly sister
Misused, abused, and forgotten

    Due to the only constant that her sister Change, will always win

I once believed religion was created to solidify the separation of humans as a species.
It's taken dark days to make me rethink that claim.
I am no Neandrathal. I do not need to hunt to fuel my body.
Just as my enemies would never stand in front of me.
Honest. Clenching their weapon. Clear; their intentions.

No, you see this day an age, it's all a mental spare.
Problem is, your enemies all look the same.
Do you really?
Are you sure?
How can you know?
Inner thoughts become consuming.
Especially when you are dancing with fear, hope, desire, passion, and the idea of what is right.
The mental stress can drive a person, any person, to insanity.

Homoerectus too could not fathom the transition.
To live in a world, knowing there is more than what they see.
I wonder if the pit of this is making sense, then you must be lucky.
Naivety is bliss.
It's true, I have lost my mind.
But in this day an age, I can just go to the store and buy another.

I'm rambling now, I get that from my mother.
Like I was saying.

No wonder they created Gods.
Without them, they would've lost their sanity.

Let there be light
To truly see, is absolutely torturing
But it sure as hell beats the darkness.

Bare with me please
I am still learning
Mark my words
It will all have been for something
The new year brings one of action
I have not time to waste
Hurry, we must
I might miss my train
Nevertheless, I'll catch the next one.
Who's to know.
Maybe I'll go somewhere else instead

Regardless to say I,
can't wait to see what you become
Be gentle with yourself
We are all, but perfectly flawed

And, what the **** did you expect of me?
I'm sorry.
Pardon my french...
I can't help but cuss, when these mother ******* got me pressed
Ill be fine after this commerical break,
But until then,
Let me lay your facts straight.

Need I not remind you,
It was our first date
the moment I said I was obsessed with love
I heard your chest scream
Your eyes spoke of forever
Your sternoclaydo mastodon pulsated
Like orange juice after a blood drive...


***** I revitalized you.
I think you got the  script wrong
Wipe ur frames down,
I'll put this very slowly, now
Your love for me burned so hot, it was no longer a fire, but wild.
You smothered me.
You wanted to watch my flames dance,
But only under your command

My love is rotten?
Spoiled?
Selfish?
When out of the two of us, you just wanted me to yourself?
Your own insecurities is what made your inferiority become true,
maybe that's why your eyes burn,

You never accepted who I was.
My spirit knows no bounds.
Your spirit, wasn't fast enough.

Respectfully,
you bowed out.

You ignorant *******, you did not know a **** thing of me
I guess I'm mad, I thought you did

Pure love is not of possession,
Instead, to be greatful for every cent spent
My presence is a luxury,
Did I make you feel inferior?
To feel as though you almost could afford it?


****! Right! One last thought, before I go.

Women are mother Earth incarnate
Chaotic creatures,
Who never seem to lose.

Do you think you're upset,
because deep down,
you knew, you bite off more than you could chew?

I write
To make room in my head
To empty these thoughts out
Taking up too much space

So I exhale
Words, choke up
I got a knot in my throat
And your imagine in my head

I need to ******* rest
My bones crack
like the wood floors in Strand

My migraines are worsening
Thinking about you, with anyone else
I hate you
so much,


Simply, because I don't hate you at all.

A dance of detachment

'tween the observer and ego

like a ventriloquist, if you needed an example

I am constantly learning that harmony isn't tranquility but instead a chaotic
bit of both, got me
relapse.

I'm learning that all I have is my temple
I need to color my nook.
prepare the bed

love my curves
love my edges
love, you

you silly creature
you are all that you have

‪I never had anyone to talk to when I was a kid ‬
I found home in the mirror of my reflection
I think now I learned I was talking to you
My reflection looking back at me
My perfect mirror



My soul cries, everyday
Reminiscent of the times before the big bang
When i was stardust in the night

Ive only gotten as close as the taste upon your lips
And when we wake in the morning
Standing in my room
Facing two separate mirrors
The distortion of my body to your soul and mine to yours leaves me a stranger in my own temple

I stretch a lot now
I'm always uncomfortable
Continuously growing familiar with the autonomy that is mine
Even if my soul knows of the entire galaxy

And the closest I've gotten to going back home, in the space that is the milky way galaxy
Is when you lay your head upon my chest as i run my fingers through your hair
As my heart rate beats with an extra step
The doctors say its irregular,
But I think it's my bodies way of letting me know that time is a gift given best unwrapped

Sort of like when I taste Venus between your legs

I'm not sure who's in more pain any longer..
I'm not sure if this pain is necessary for growth

I'm not sure if the manifestation of our stars were meant to show us the uglier parts of ourselves
I'm not sure if these growing pains will end

I'm not sure if the Supernova that is you will be the end of me,
Or I to you

I'm not sure if I could have all three
Mind, body, spirit,

I took only half a gram of psilocybin and felt my throat gag up...
Until euphoria rushed through my body.
Until it overtook every inch of my body, right down to my finger tips

Similar to when we made love that day it snowed, not the first time but the second
And our stars aligned after a year's time
And we kissed under our Capricorn moon
Until the sun rose up at dusk
And the realization of the separation of our souls started a forest fire..

When the Phoenix met you, at the weeping willow tree

Where all things come to end
To start over again

Burned down to dust, to rise again
Only in death will my soul rest


I have lived and died before

And nevertheless, I have found you sitti
ng so pretty at the base of your willow tree, in every life
No matter how many times I've set your forest aflame