Destruction
Between my heart
And head
Because they often fight
Both thinking they’re right
This internal war
Doesn’t let me sleep
In spite of all the white noise, and teas
Keeping me up, reminding me of everything
All my worries
All the decisions I have to choose between,
Until I decide not to make one
At all
But even then,
I. Can’t. Stop.

¶
The broken clock
Shattered on the floor
Smeared with regret
Was fixed when I entered one day
So I can move forward
Slowly
As time heals all wounds
At least that’s what they say
¶

Thunder struck, melted to the core

A bond that lasts longer than any muck fire

Even when aspiration is bound to expire

Together, we’ll remain

two wounded soldiers at war

To what degree will you let the hurt reach? It's in your control after all.

Will you finally trust in yourself, to stand up on your own?

Break down, and sob yourself to sleep if you have to

But when the sunrise comes up once more, maybe it'll be time for you to turn over a new leaf

And explore life past pain.

We strive for something more,
Peace,
That let’s us feel relief and content
But to feel that relief
There needs to be something..
Unpolished, impossible
In your life
To make the perfect moments;
Perfect

Another day, no feeling under the sun
again, when things are done,

does it matter who was there but didn’t help?
does it matter, those people who kept to themselves?

Maybe not.

Instead I’ll look to those who accepted me, who respected me
Who loved me since the beginning

It is not until this is realized, that it makes sense in our head
that true life begins, and our envy is shed.

Then confidence proudly burns

And feeling returns, the heat from the sun.

All these people
All these stressful situations
It’s not my fault that I’m awkward
It’s not my fault I don’t always say funny things,
Have good comebacks.
So why is it that everyone around
Carelessly cast upon me their true opinion?
Maybe a little too true.
Every laugh
And silent whispering
Not so very silent
Ring loudly in my ears, in my heart
It all trails behind me, all my decisions dictated by the preferences of others
Harshly driving me into paranoia,
A cacophony of sorts
Sinking my mind, my soul,
Into a pit of insanity
To the point where I myself join in the slandering
And aspersing of my own being
In order to make it all stop. just for a second.
So I can please all those around
And calm my paranoia down
While shoving my true feelings down my throat.
The only thing getting me through it,
Telling myself it’s not. my. fault.

What am I doing?

What does your imagination look like?
I believe it is colors
And laughing
And dying sorrowfully
Seeing life in the world around you
Seeing monsters under your bed
It is the book of Moby ****
The first step on the moon
Like putting together everything you see with your eyes
And turning it into something new
That someone else can imagine about
It is a power of continuation
Innovation,
Peace and chaos
One that in the wrong hands could cause a world war
But in the right ones can save us all
We need more of it
I see it
In you