I want to tell him
that I’m scared,
that I’ve been here before.
And that the last time I felt potential like this it imploded;
I imploded.
But I don’t want to taint it,
You see I’m still hopeful
That maybe this time
Won’t end up laced with maybes,
Or what ifs,
Or open wounds pouring blood onto paper.
That maybe this time,
just won’t end.

I’ve not quite worked out whether I think it’s beautiful,
Or stupid -
The human capacity,
And pliancy,
And longing,
For love.

This can't be real
This pain I feel
I'm in a dark cave
All alone never to be saved

Won't somebody find me?
Open my eyes, let me see
Bring me back into the light
Into happiness and what's right

I hide myself under a pile of lies
So no one sees the secrets behind these immortal eyes

No one understands and they never will
Why my life is like a big long bill
I have to pay the price of living
It's myself that I am giving

Depression is what drags me under
Why can't they hear my screams I wonder
I'm screaming to you
Please help me through

There has to me more than this
Somewhere out there, there must be bliss
But until I find it I am here
In this pool of unforgiving tears.

I've put away my starry eyed gaze
Which always got me into trouble.
Losing all touch to the depths of my soul.
Stars only appear under the Hubble.


It was necessary to let you go.
But I unwound all the string,
like a kitten too eager.
I've had love and pain.
And now I have neither.

Silence,
a slow death  by the breakdown of the heart
where as one suffers in that middle ground
between love and lust
not knowing their value because it is left
to be determined by someone else

Silence,
when that value is determined
and a man has shown that he is really
a boy who lost the ability to love
and found solace in ***

Silence,
not a word comes from the poor soul
who was left in the rain waiting for her
prince to pick her up and carry her someplace
other than the bedroom for once

Silence,
from the boy and his family when the
news reporter stood behind the screen,
in front of the house of the girl who
had given more than she had to give

Silence,
except for the tears of her brothers
and her family who are now without
a teenager with a bad temper and bad
habits though they loved her anyway

Silence,
the boy has not spoken a word
in months because every thought he
has is chewed up and swallowed by
the unbearable guilt of hurting her

Silence,
not even the wind kissed my ears
when I stood on top of her grave looking
down at the name of the girl who for
so long had been broken and bruised

spinning violently
the roaring rush dampened by
dark infinity

If I were to see you,
I don't think I could say a word
For I'd be much to captivated
And every phrase would be misheard

If I were to touch you,
I think I just may faint
For your skin is a canvas
That my fingers yearn to paint

If I were to kiss you,
My lips would catch on fire
For my body and my heart are scared
Of the love that may transpire

If I were to lose you,
I would simply fall apart
For you know the truest me
Darling, you've stolen my whole heart.