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You made me want to write again
Gave me the strength to fight against
the demons that are so obsessed
With keeping me down and depressed

I can't express the copious
amount of thoughts stuck in my head
These feelings need to be addressed
I'm drowning in my own suspense

Said, "Baby use those pretty words"
My lips are sealed shut with a smirk
I hide my fears behind my quirks
Ripping a mask off ******* hurts

You ease the pain with patient eyes
Your kisses help to catalyze
the deconstruction of disguise
My secrets are your greatest prize

My walls begin to crumble down
I hear the bricks break on the ground
It shakes my soul, I love the sound
We can rebuild together now
Samantha Dietz Aug 2018
We grew together, all the while I was blind to how much I loved you, as I could not yet love myself enough to see I could maybe deserve you. I was just a chipmunk cheeked girl with no stability. But you loved me, from my fresh face to the too-thick black eyeliner. From the white lace of innocence to the black leather of wickedness. Yes, you loved me, from my long brown hair to the short bleached cut when I lost myself. I nearly lost myself. But year after year after year you stood by me, a kind stranger on a bystreet, watching quietly. Knowing better than to jump inside my psyche. I was ravaged and turned savage at such a young age, I needed to grow up and uncage all that unhealthy rage. They say love is patient, and you loved me. Fully. From my sweatpants to my fishnets, and now it makes sense. And you know me, almost better than I think I might know myself. You have seen the worst sides of myself and you are here, after so many years, we could have forgotten about each other. We could have forgotten about each other. But now, after being so blind for so long, I kiss you in my dreams. I wake up with goosebumps, and a hollow feeling in my chest as I long for the way that you feel with your arms wrapped around me, like a snake. I cannot breathe, you have swept me off of my feet. You loved me, from my oversized flannel shirts to my knee high socks. And I loved you from your tie dye shirts to your long soft locks. I was crazy, and I still am, but in a way that I'm sure only you can understand. I love the sound of your laugh and the way that you speak, the way you smile with the corners of your mouth turned up, rarely ever showing your teeth. So please love me, do not lose your sight as I once lost mine because it is so lonely in this world when you go blind to who really loves you.
Samantha Dietz Oct 2016
two o'clock in the morning
your eyes glow against the moon
who would have know that i
would fall so hard, so soon?

three o'clock in the morning
whiskey and a cigarette
there stood a sweet young couple
who looked a bit upset

four o'clock in the morning
the music is winding down
everyone is sleeping
not a soul makes a sound

five o'clock in the morning
she refuses to tell him goodbye
as soon as that car leaves the lot
she feels like she is going to die

six o'clock in the morning
the smell of coffee is bold
she's making banana pancakes
for two, though alone and cold

seven o'clock in the morning
she saw him in her dreams that night
it crippled her upon waking
she almost forgot his beautiful eyes

eight o'clock in the morning
he needed to hear her voice
the only thing that could calm him
so he was left with little choice

nine o'clock in the morning
she watched the sunrise and cried
he had absolutely no idea
her denial of love was a lie
Samantha Dietz Oct 2016
You terrified me
The only real thing I have ever felt
You wanted my heart, my soul
Made love to my mind
I could not explain what I felt
But when my life fell to shambles
I was alone and you were so far
It terrified me
The only thing that could help me
I needed your warmth, your voice
Put my nightmares to rest
I could not explain what I felt
And alcohol only keeps you so warm
I was alone and you were so far
Samantha Dietz Apr 2016
Once i was seven years old, a dream had told me
one day i'd be married under palm trees
Once i was seven years old

I was a girl with a plan but you thought yours was better
You pushed me close to the edge then sent me sweet love letters
By eleven i was broken, crying in your sweater
Never again would i fall, you couldn't stand the pressure

Once i was eleven years old, my brother told me,
don't worry 'bout these boys just get your money
Once i was eleven years old

i always had that dream like my brother before me
so i started working, grinding, started stacking money
Everyone called me honey, cause i was still so sweet
I didn't let the riches change me, never folded in heat

Once i was sixteen years old, the parties got old
The morning after was always so gloomy
Once i was sixteen years old

I almost went to jail, almost ruined my future
who would want to be around a girl that's so stupid?
I had my boys with me, at least that was in my favor
Then those same boys went and put my ******* life in danger

Once i was eighteen years old, being alone got old
I went and found someone who was there at night to hold me
Once i was eighteen years old

Soon we'll be thirty years old, our story pretty bold
We got married barefoot under the palm trees
Soon we'll be thirty years old

Little ones learning about life, our love is constantly growing
I'm so happy as his wife, he's what keeps me going
Most of my friends are in jail, dead or close to dying
I did my best to save them but they just kept justifying
and its so hard to talk to someone when their ego's showing

If I reach sixty-years old, then he'll reach sixty-five
We'll sit back and reminisce of simpler times
When we were young and happy dancing in a waterfall
with nothing to lose because we'd already lost it all

If I don't reach sixty-years old, will my story be told?
Or should i write a book detailing everything?
If i don't reach sixty-years old

If I don't reach sixty-years old, will my story be told?
Or should i write a book so you wont miss a thing?
If i don't reach sixty-years old

Once i was seven years old, a dream had told me
one day i'd be married under palm trees
Once i was seven years old

Once i was seven years old...
original song by Lukas Graham .
Samantha Dietz Mar 2016
When you love someone, and they tear your heart to shreds
It's difficult to let someone else in your head
Your pain eats at you every minute you're awake
The fear consumes you as you wait for the heartbreak
The what if?'s and the who's she?'s collect so quickly
You find yourself questioning your love's loyalty
Presented with proof, you don't want to believe it
It's happening again, why can't he be honest?
This is what he preaches, you know, truth above all
Promising he'll be there to catch you when you fall
You accept it, you know his war is internal
No one knows except you, him, her, and your journal
He won't admit it, which you just can't understand
Plus he takes care of you, he wants to be your man
You put your walls up, pain hidden by a smile
The worst part? That smile will stay for a while
You will lie down with him, laugh with him, you will stay
Close to nothing in this world will take you away
Samantha Dietz Feb 2016
She started living for herself, finally, after years of doing what everyone else wanted.
She quit her job and her makeup routine, finally letting that beautiful face of hers breath.
She started writing more, inspiration finally found it's way back to her veins.
She was reborn, like a phoenix from ashes, and finally figured out how to be alive again.
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