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 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
You say you love me
But I'm sure I love you more
You sleep in your bed
And I sleep on the floor

I share my dreams and heart
They're all I have to offer
It seems you enjoy tearing them apart
And making me feel awful

I know you don't mean to
I can see it in your eyes
But nothing you say or do
Could make me forget your lies

Do you remember the night
When you showed my your scars
I told you they made me sad
I wish I could take our sorrow and cast it to the stars

Then you and I could live in a heaven on earth.
I've given you everything I have. Please give me a chance.
 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
Nothing's ever good enough
Everything *****
I'm not good enough
I ****
I want to die
You don't want to be around me
Rather be with him
Or him
Or him
I asked you why
Told me I wasn't a tool
What do you take me for
A fool
Told me it wasn't me, it is you
But I don't belive
I don't want to breathe
I just want to leave
You in the past
Because you hurt
And I blame it all on you because I'm a ****
Clearly this isn't worth
Effort
Love
Work
This is what you wanted right? I'm giving up.
 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
He needed distance and clear mind
She was there
They were sick and in need of something new
It started when he began to stare
She sensed something special too
In due time
What to do

She just wanted Souls to be intertwined
They could be something more paired
He was in her heart and mind
Caught, ensnared
There was nothing that the two couldn't do
He was lost, the two never fully shared
She was scared, but wanted to

Cruel is time
He was fooled
She couldn't seem to learn that love is blind
Tests of time, they couldn't fare
He loved her and didn't mind
Didn't care
Two perfect halves of a whole, I miss you
2+2+3=7
1+9+9+7+1+3=3
7+3=1
 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
I asked her to be with me
She said never
I told her I loved her
She said whatever

Left alone in the woods
Gone with him
She expected me to stay put
I wish I could

Now I have to leave
Now truly I see
I've always loved you
But you've never loved me
 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
Just **** me already.
Love is pain.
Me and you could be plenty.
Please help me feel sane.

I want to be with you forever.
Need your shining embrace.
You make everything better.
Around you I feel safe.
 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
I'm a puppet
A marionette
A toy tossed
Easy to forget

I'm a foolish kid
An imbecile
With half his wits
Easy to dismiss

I'm a love sick dog
A sitting duck
Stuck in mud
Easy target to hit

I'm a human being
With real ****** feelings
Who's had enough
Easy to love
Just who do you think I am?
 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
Wanted to forget
You wouldn't let me

Got it for this
No matter how you test me

Am I coming or going?
Are you pushing or pulling?

Hours spent not knowing
This or that, please, just commit fully
 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
You                                                          Me
You                                                        Me
  You                                                      Me
   You                                                    Me
    You                                                  Me
     You                                                Me
      You                                              Me
        You                                          Me
          You                                      Me
            You                                  Me
              You                              Me
                You                          Me
                  You                      Me
                     You                Me
                        You          Me
                           You    Me
                              You
                           Me You
                        Me       You
                     Me              You
                  Me        Us        You
                     Me               You
                        Me         You
                           Me   You
                              Me
                          You Me
                       You       Me
                    You             Me
                 You                   Me
              You                         Me
            You                             Me
          You                                 Me
        You                                     Me
      You                                         Me
     You                                           Me
    You                                             Me
   You                                               Me
  You                                                 Me
You                                                   Me
You                   Goodbye                  Me
Formats not perfect, but then again neither is life...
 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
Who would have though that the happiest days of my life would also be the worst.
Deep down inside my chest something has been growing... and soon I'll burst.
I do not understand why it's here, but I do know that it hurts.
What at first seemed a blessing turned out to be a curse.

This insidious beast, talks to me in my sleep.
It tells me lies, until nothing but false hope fills my eyes.
At first I tried to feed it, and when that didn't work I tried to free it.
Why won't it just let me be?

Still, there it stayed, in my chest... growing bigger and stronger day by day.
Even now, I can still feel it's foul poison lingering in my veins.
What once brought me joy now only brings meĀ  pain.
I can't even remember when it infested my soul, but still I curse that day.

God please make it go away.
I am a man, yet I am only human, and I now see my problem has but one solution.
I must **** the love in my heart before it kills me.
I must relieve some of this woeful misery, it's the only way.

It hurts me to say, but I have my reasons.
The most important of which is simply self defense.

I must **** it before it kills me
**** it before it kills me
**** it, **** me
Self defense
 Aug 2020 Mama earth
Danial John
[anonymous woman who definitely knows who she is],

I've wanted to say this to you for a long time. I guess I just haven't had the composure to say it to your face. Suppose I still don't, otherwise I wouldn't have to say this here.

When I came back home and really got to know you, you changed my life. I wasn't looking for or expecting anything like you. I've been hopelessly lost and depressed for years. Immediately I could tell you were different. Something about you makes me feel alive. I like me better when I'm with you. You are the most beautiful free spirited woman I've ever met, and I've met many. Even had relations with a few (believe it or not).

I truly want to know... Did you feel the same feeling I did? If you didn't, I'll accept that. But, every fiber of my being, and every sign from the universe tells me you are something special. Something that I should never let go of. And I'll defy anyone telling me elsewise, whether you or my dad, because I know what love is.

And you say you love me like a brother, I respect that. And in a way, I love you like a sister. But I can't deny that I feel more than that. I want to be there for you, be with you... Always. Regardless of how you feel, I will be.

I get that you've had a rough life, the roughest. And I want to help you in any way I can. I want to show you off to anybody who cares to pay attention.
And can you really blame me? I mean, you're beautiful. Your sense of humor is amazing. And you care so much about others, always seeing the best in people. And most importantly, you make me feel like the luckiest person to walk God's green earth. You inspire me to be a better man in every sense of the word. Your blue eyes peirce right through me. Your voice makes my smile. Being near you helps me sleep at night.

As a beautiful young woman, you have choices. And I understand that I might not be the best looking guy, or even the most capable. But I DARE anyone to test my resolve or care more for you than I do.

I love you so much it hurts. Regardless of how you feel about me, I want the very best for you... And remember, every once and awhile, just breathe.
I love you.
Just being real with you.
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