You read my poetry in an attempt to understand me
versus an attempt to read literature
or fiction
or art
So you pick apart each sentence
and each syllable
and each subject
and you try so hard to figure me out
You want to know what I was thinking when I wrote this poem
or that poem
but what that tells me is perhaps you aren't even reading them at all
Although what poets express comes from the debths of our creative closets and emotional state
you must still open up your mind and soak up the words for what they are
Not for who I am

Becoming one beneath the motions of love and beautifully blended in skin;
yeah,
I don't want to be anywhere else

Engulfed in your all as you pour out your heart and kiss my soul;
yeah,
I don't want to be anywhere else

You wipe my tears of overwhelming passion from being lost in the moment
from being lost in your eyes
from being lost in your touch
from being that teenage girl who only fantasized about being loved so much

And here you are
in my arms
in friendship
and in so much love
Yeah,
I don't want to be anywhere else

The heavens could expel a thousand rainbows
and the grounds could shoot up a million fields of daisies
and the sun could shine a billion times brighter than the brightest star
And the sum of it all could never add up to joy and love I have filled in my heart for you

Take my words as a gift and my actions as a promise
that as long as I am alive
and as long as my heart is beating
It will solely beat for you
So please wrap me deep in your soul
let me hide in your chest and don't ever let go

I met a man lost in a wood so thick not even the sun could provide light
I outstretched my hand to hold his own
and we walked not by sight
We held hands right there in the darkness and found comfort in our tears
We used them to quench our thirst and conquer our fears
I began to see a break in the trees as he sunk further away
And we still hold on never letting go of the promise we made
Has he become so lost that even upon wandering he has gone?
I still feel the touch of his fingertips as by the grace of God I hold on

I met a man lost in a wood so thick not even the sun could provide light
And it was then I remembered we walked not by sight
So it is the faith in the night that will promise the lost to be found
When everything surrounding your vision has hit below ground
I will be deep in the wood with you at your side
For disappointment is a sight for sore eyes anyway and I am glad we are blind
Squeeze my hand my friend and feel that I have not yet left
And here I will walk with you until darkness is death

Are they the crash of lightening on a dry desert plain?
Are they the sound of thunder in the night rumbling for miles and miles and miles?
Or are they the soft center of a fresh apple pie on a fall day?
I tell you dreams are good
and they are bad
But dreams are the best and worst
of reality
which is why they take no shape nor form and lose all sense of normality
Dreams have no jurisdiction
and that's beauty in their existence

So what are dreams?
What are they you say?
I say the pink sky of dusk on a hot summer day after a wrath of cooling rain
and in purest form may they take photographs of the most intimate part of your brain
and as complicated as they may seem
they are nothing but a dream
Beyond what they become is entirely up to you..
for dreams don't appear from nothing and it is the responsibility of your own soul
to make them true

My heart is heavy today at the loss of such an incredible inspiration to the arts community. Her poetry is the reason I was inspired to write, to be who I am destined to be, and to always live and fight for what I believe in. Maya Angelou wasn't just a poet, she was a movement, providing never ending insight and knowledge to the community and marching along with us during the civil rights. Maya Angelou, what a dent your absence will leave behind, but what a beautiful picture painted words you have left us. I had always dreamed of meeting you one day, but now I know that day will never come (at least in the physical world anyway). Thank you Maya Angelou for your knowledge, your strength, and your never ending guidance. You showed us the world through a different pair of eyes and it is that reason I now know why the caged bird sings!

Rest Peacefully Dr. Maya Angelou!

God* came to me in a rain
and He spoke of Truth you could only seek in His Word
and He sang of songs unheard
of a promise only to His people
God's people
to
Us

And as He spoke I turned my head,
for fear someone might see me praising the rain like the dead
And the lightening struck in disappointment
and it was then I fully understood
How God created man for the greater good
how sin has taken over the land He created to be pure
how He has created people like me to preach the cure

You see
I let the water hit my palm
and trickle up my arm
and I cupped enough in my palms to cleanse my head
Thanked God for *His water and bread
and cleansed my soul in the Son, the Father, and the Holy Spirit
and I thanked Him from the depths of my heart
and I know that He will hear it

So I will carry out what God has asked me to do
He has given me the gift of words
to write what is real
to write what is true
to pour all of the meaningful promise
right into you

Let the Heavens open up and take a look deep inside
See what God has promised you!
The God of Abraham
The God of Israel
The Father of  Christ
and you thank Him
and you seek Him for all direction
For He will provide you protection

Because God is not in selfish churches tarnished by man
He  is  the water
He  is  the land
He  is  right with you
Right in your hand
Oh ye of little faith...
Do you not understand?
It is  God  I say!
It is  God!
It is  God  who will give us the riches of life

**Stop putting your faith into man!

I still have a hard time not crying
whenever I hear your name
and I still have a hard time facing the fact
that I will never see you in physical form again
I guess when you are faced with the choice of letting go or holding on and you're caught in the middle of an attempt to compromise
emotions you feel equally as strong

Let me replay in my mind that beautiful smile and contagious laugh
before I fully let go and let you be gone
But my mind won't let me forget you
and my heart tells me it's wrong
So please come and see me and know my friendship is beyond true
You took a huge part of the world from our lives when you left us
and we felt you left us far too soon
It will be five months on the fourth of June
and I still constantly, thoroughly, unconditionally think of you
My love for your family is unending and my love for you still remains
even amidst the saddest and deepest of pain
your smile still brings the sun to my rain

Oh Eric, so many of us want to know why;
so many of us desperately need answers
but all we can do is cry
...and carry on your legacy of being kind
...of being loyal
...and having fun
Though sadly your work here is done
God has given you brand new wings
and a perfect set of lungs
So you breathe baby,
you breathe the Breath of Life
and you continue to be the angel you were on earth;
today the angel in our minds
You have left a job behind, but please know it can be done
We stand behind you still
and I speak for everyone
Go where you want to go
and be who you want to be
but most importantly and above all else my friend

Be free

Eric,

be *free

Adults who act like children
pass that right down to the kids
So every ****** up thing you said
and every argument you had
they will remember that ****
And for every man you had in your room
or every woman you just had to swoon
Them little ones watching knew the business
you don't need to see with your eyes to bare witness so you should know them children are no fools

And then what's going to happen when all is said and done?
Them babies will grow into adults
Adults that only know the values you taught them
And the time they walked in on you snorting coke or ******* the neighbor
you know that's something not ever forgotten
So you'll sit and be mad at how your kids turnt out; a dead beat dad and a mom with twisted priorities
You can't get them out your house so you live like you're packed poor minorities

And yet all that wasted opportunity
and all that wasted life
all that wasted money and wasted time severed by the knife
That same knife you felt in your heart you passed right on
with no excuse to keep it moving you kept it moving right along
and now you sit in your self pit wondering what the hell went wrong
why the nights are so long
Everyone is so ****** up and far gone
and lost

Lost

Everyone is so lost
Looking at the new generation and that is sadly the cost
Knowing **** well you're too ignorant to teach them any different because you're too stubborn to take the blame yourself
I guess some folks are just too far gone to help

I can't understand why I cry at the thought of something that does not even exist
I guess it's the idea of a love that's lost that takes it's toll on a sacred mind as this

I still blush when you kiss my forehead
and when you pinch my hip or nudge my back as you walk past
I still get butterflies when I make you laugh
How could I know love at such a young age?
How could I have known?
The moment my eyes found you
I knew
The moment I gave my all when I had nothing and we turned that empty void into something
and even though there was pain and anguish and heart ache I would do it
yes, I would do it all again
just the same
I wouldn't change a thing
Because there's no other place I'd rather be
than right here with you
Beneath your chin atop your chest listening to the sound of your heart
and feeling your fingers in my hair
listening to your dreams and stories of joy
Speaking about future endeavors that we wish to seek together
The wind carries a song you may not hear for I know that God is speaking and He is saying our blessings are already here!
My love, my sweet
Skin against skin
Kiss on your lips
Hold on for dear life as we live life and love life in love

Forbidden to others and I realized others will never understand and I realized it's not for anyone or anything or others to understand
Because it's you who holds my hand
Because it's you who brushes my cheek
Because it's you who chases the demons away
Because it's who wipes my tears
Because it's you who makes me smile and dream and be not afraid to seek

My love,
You make me feel such a way that I could fly without wings
If an angel could expel the feathers of her being without seeing then I could represent my heart in a thousand shards of emotional delicacy

For that is what you create within me

Overrated ******* cheap bitter whine out of mouths of overworked undereducated individuals searching for achievement
Family nosing into business of other family they don't even speak to but need to know who's better off or worse off so most keep in touch for fake reasons
Friends claiming to be friends even though Bobby slept with Joe's sister Kim when Kim had a baby by Bobby's cousin Jim who's sister beat the *** of that ***** Karley for sharing a photo they were in
In a relationship today because you love to watch the haters hate but make 27 statuses about how ****** ain't **** and how you're 3 months late
Hypocritical comments followed by one hundred twenty seven likes
attached to a photo of a kid that died thirteen years ago twice
but to send a prayer or save a life all you have to do is click
LIKE.

I hardly remember the world before
I wonder what the world will be after

Facebook[.]

I can feel the tears building
as my eyes remain fixated on the night
aiming to focus on a vision I cannot quite see
I know I am tired and that I should sleep but what joy would fill my emotions if I could just hang my head and cry

But I cannot

And it is for that exact reason why I lay here in the darkness waiting to see a sight of satisfaction in my dreams
I know I have nothing to lose and all to live for and my blessings are en route but sometimes you have to let the water run dry

but I just cannot

I've become far too numb to cry

I can feel the wretched pain crumbling my insides and the butterflies have gathered in a heap of smoke
I can feel the abandoned broken pieces of my heart slowly coming together to make a sound of any life

And yet as I try to speak of foreshadowed unruly motions the words get hung on my teeth and the sounds never leave my throat
And yet the pit of my pain keeps boiling over in my head it is in my chest where these horrors reside

And all of this happens
because I am far too numb
to cry

Words* become

S
  C
A
   T
T
   E
R
   E
D

down the page


the same way
they remain

S
  C
A
   T
T
   E
R
   E
D

in the brain

and a poet's mind
is never at rest
no more than the
cannon of life beats
within the chest

your lies cut deep as
Samurais embedded much
too far in my soul

i don't even know
who you are in this life any
more than I know foes

makes me sad to know
I have exposed hidden truth
I just can't save you

You are my life
and I cannot live without you
there is just something I cannot explain
there is just something about you
Whatever you do in this life
whatever it is you do
please
for the love of God don't you ever leave
Don't you ever leave this world
and leave me behind
without you
I cannot be strong
I will not survive
and if you ever leave me
I will most likely die
Everything I spent years building inside
will come crumbling down
in the blink of an eye

So please
I beg
and I plead
on my knees
God don't You ever take him from me
I don't want to feel the pain
I don't want to feel the hurt
If at anything
anything at all
Please just take me first
because each day won't be better
and it will only get worse
and my mother will lose a daughter
because I will be different from the pain
and I just may lose my brain
and my soul will suffer slaughter

I love you
you are my life
There is just something I cannot explain
there is just something about you
So whatever it is you do in this life
baby whatever it is you do
For the love of God please
don't you ever leave
don't you ever leave this world
and leave me behind
without you

So you want to be kind, and all I ask is for a piece of your life.  I immediately jump off the cliff of conclusions and want what I simply cannot have. Please, whatever you decide to do, remain as open and honest as you can make me believe. And when you decide to put me down, will you lay me down easy?

For moments at a time in the short hours we've shared, I've fallen down the side of a mountain of despair and have enclosed my heart even though you have already been there. I cannot hide from you because you know me too well. Hidden deep in the lines, had you planned to deceive me?

I feel no less than a fool than to have opened my heart. Ashamed and embarrassed I showed you too much and now even you can see through my veil; and you know places in my world to the smallest detail. If I broke down like glass and said you really did hurt me, in an attempt to desert me, would you believe me?

We shared fragments of new beginnings that flourished in its own light. We were the food in our own bellies and the sun in the night. For every emotion raging inside you provided a safe place for my poet to hide.  But as rejection sinks into the skin, I feel the raging storm within me.  The storm we had created intently, and yet, evidently, I am standing alone in the left over rain wondering; why did you leave me?

Rolling around in an abundance of soul searching time
When time is something so scarce
Searching for a dream that seems so hard to find in a storm that's no less than fierce
Lost in so many moments we seek further refuge in memories that do not exist
In doing so we give way to the devils temptations that are incredibly hard to resist

imagination
took us to a taboo place
now we have returned

*** stick #1 says positive
#2 from the dollar stores says negative
but #3 from the grocery said positive
and #4 from the general was inconclusive
the #5 from ER was intrusive
#6 from the gas station didn't work
#7 from the immediate care center hurt
so the clinic tells me they don't know for sure
and ultrasounds aren't yet insured
I guess I can wait
If it isn't too late
I feel my belly
guess I'll see when I show
But here comes the blood
it just never will grow

I am utterly and totally (not limited to completely) dazed and confused in a dark alley of emotions in the midsection of an endless tunnel that leads to possibilities of the unknown. I have already made my choice; I have already chosen my path miles back, and I have traveled long enough to know that I am in far too deep to change my mind. I touch the walls for a message from the blind but even they can't lead me. And so with no other choice but to step forward into the vast night, I pray on the Lord to comfort me and to guide me, in hopes  that the demons within my own soul may never find me. And when all is said and done I hope I can find my way back into what I know, back into what feels right; back into the light.

you say you're sorry for not showing emotion;
for not seeming supportive

if you only
knew how lonely
I am tonight