Petals
Drifting from each flower of life
In the wind of afterthought

Beautiful, innocent, blue
Mountains of men stand idle to adore
The feeling of love admist the abhorred

Gentle
They dance in the gust
Sink into the earth and forget-me-not.

Effort has been drained from me effortlessly
Each day goes by with further disdain for myself
I sit in my ship and let the bugs eat me alive
Who can help me?

I've burned bridges
I've poisoned myself
I've sailed away
And now I'm on this island, dying.

Who can help me?
I don't live without fear anymore
There is no certainty
Who can help me?

I'm scared to progress
I hold myself back
I abuse my body
In hopes to go back

Who can help me?
Who can help me?
I only fear death when I stare it in the eye.
Who can help me?

I want to go back
To the time where I could live
But I feel this rope tighten
Can I make it back? I'm not positive.

Who can help me?
Who can help me?
Who can help me?
Who can help me?

When I can't help myself

I bleed as a grinding stone
Although I shed skin, the stronger I grow
Until I am sharp enough to vanquish foe
I will bleed as a grinding stone
To press against and press on
The wheel acts against me
Something pushes me forward
Even if I do not shape correctly
Until I've lost too much to recall my woe
Until I can't bear to press against anymore
I am bleeding
As a grinding stone.

Lately I've felt held back by a lot of constraints.
Burdens on my mind that I can't contain.
I want to express myself through words but it's getting difficult.
Because, frankly, **** rhyming, and **** watching my language.
**** all this depression and being hypocritical.
**** those lines I just wrote and **** how I feel about this poem.
**** how I came into this wanting to be reflective and negative.
**** it, in the words of my mother, "**** it all".
Just try to have a good time with your life before it's all gone.
It can be pretty ******* hard, but it's worth it.
Whenever life confronts you with obstructions, get the **** over it.
It's YOUR life, YOUR decisions, and YOUR results.
When you waste time on the things that don't matter, you've wasted too much.
So the next time something is irking you that doesn't really matter,
or you're not feeling well enough to  be positive,
do me a favor and think to yourself "**** it".
This is all we've got.
Don't waste it.
**** the small things, be happy.

As I sit down in class with my stomach churning
My hands are shaking and my head is turning
To find something of comfort to distract me
From the eyes tracing my face catching acne
From the people wanting to give me hugs
When my back is drenched in sweat
From swaying back and forth and moving like a slug
Slow and clumsy, I wish my brain and feet had met.
I wish I could **** this anxiety
I wish this lock had a key.

As I blow out my 18th candle;
My only wish is that my mom was here to cut the cake.

The fangs of my own mind sink into me.
I need some anti-venom or I'm history.
I try to fight back but it's to no avail.
The toxicity spreads; it's inevitable prevail.
I realize my fate, my brain gives up on me.
The anti-venom is  empty.
I'm history.