Man how I have chaged

From a insecure little kid in search of fortune and fame

In search of intimacy and love


And I never found it it evaded me like a wild dove flying away each time I get close

So I changed and became a cold heartless boy living fast and mean
Doing bad things hurting people that wouldn't cross me

I broke hearts made the sweetest girls fall apart

I used them over and over again swearing that I changed

I just caused destruction and pain

And I hate myself for it

I was tired of the drugs and  of the ***

               I was tired of this meaningless ****


So I quit and I changed again into something other than this tragedy

To a  man hoping to feel intimacy

To feel anything actually

But my past keeps following me

Haunting me
past ghost never leaving me

Alone ....


Its probably karma that ***** is getting me back for being so cold

So maybe I will change again ...


That's just what I do

I am the human chameleon

Nice to meet you.

We rush through life taking it to seriously
And most of the time we end up living miserably

We all just wanna fight to get to the top
Yet there is  no one who takes a minute to stop
And no one to realizes it's only a matter of time till we drop

So take it slow along life's bends
And watch the movie life

Spoiler alert we all die in the end.

Dad.

You forced me to become a man when I wanted to stay a child and I am thankful

You told that life is hard and no one cares if you suffer and if you struggle
And I am
thankful

You showed me life is a dark and unforgiving place and you thought me about heartbreak and loss
And I am
Thankful

You also showed me the countless mistakes I have made and are probably going to make so that I may learn from them and for that I am thankful

Mom.
You protected my childhood innocentness when all of the world grew up and I  am
Thankful

You comforted me when the tuff Times stood outside the door and I am thankful

You were my light when dark thoughts  and heartbreak filled my mind I am
Thankful

You showed me all the good things I did in my life and you showed me all the things I still may do and I am thankful

Parents.
Together you showed me in two very different ways how to not only survive but thrive in this ****** up place called life

You showed me how to keep my hands and feet inside at all time and just enjoy the ride the ride of life and for that I am not just thankful but



It's for that,that
                  I love you with all
                                  I
                              Have

I don't wanna know your outside
Your mortal flesh


I want a intimacy greater than that

I want a love so strong it can withstand time it self

I want  not to know your outside
                
                           But

I want to know your mind

I want to get a glimps into your soul
Into the rawness of your very being

I want to know who hurt you
I want to know who you love

I want to know you on a deeper level

Deeper than you know your self

That's the type of intimacy I want
Thats the love I desire .

Rain sweet blissful rain
Come and cleanse the land
Wash away it's pain
Seep through the earth and the dessert sand
And Make wet the ground upon which we stand

Open the flood gates up above
And let the water fall down
Peaceful and gentle like a mothers love
Pit pat o what a gorgeous sound
Pit pat give life to the ground