The word blurts out
These voices wont stop...
As my body sleeps
My mind can't rest
Because its plagued by these voices these terrible pests...
Prehapse they're my past regrets ?
Things I never said ?
Things I never did ?
Prehaps they're emotions of a confused kid ?
Sadness ,anger ,fear,hate,joy,lust,passion,nothingness, pain.
All of those fighting for control
I shout again
Stop your driving me insane..
I know I am broken that I can not change
The world turned me into this
And like this I will stay
I can not change so the voices to will stay
So to I pray tonight
Lord above give me peace
So that I may rest
Lord above take my soul so that I may forver rest
Freed from these voices
these terrible pests.
First one in a while please leave you're thoughs
Man how I have chaged
From a insecure little kid in search of fortune and fame
In search of intimacy and love
And I never found it it evaded me like a wild dove flying away each time I get close
So I changed and became a cold heartless boy living fast and mean
Doing bad things hurting people that wouldn't cross me
I broke hearts made the sweetest girls fall apart
I used them over and over again swearing that I changed
I just caused destruction and pain
And I hate myself for it
I was tired of the drugs and of the ***
I was tired of this meaningless ****
So I quit and I changed again into something other than this tragedy
To a man hoping to feel intimacy
To feel anything actually
But my past keeps following me
past ghost never leaving me
Its probably karma that ***** is getting me back for being so cold
So maybe I will change again ...
That's just what I do
I am the human chameleon
Nice to meet you.
What is this ....
This feeling I cant explain
This feeling I get
Every time I feel something worth while for anything and it gets taken away
I don't know ..
I don't ******* know
Its seems I am Destin to mess everything up
Everything worth something
And I thought you might be different
That you might be the one thing I was capable of feeling something for without ******* it up
Maybe I was wrong
Maybe you are not different or maybe I am just the same
The same guy that ruins every thing one way or another
What is this ?
This feeling I get every time I **** something up ?
If I had to describe it .
I would say nothing
But a nothing that causes pain in everything that I do
Because no matter what I do
My mind always runs back to you
And then this nothingness returns
Cause I ****** up .....
The first time I saw you covered in white at the wedding
With your blue ..... blue eyes
You took my breath away and you crumbled my nerves
You looked like an angel with the beauty of a godess.
The first time I talked to you
I saw how you could silence my demons with a simple hello
I found a joy in your laugh that I haven't felt in a long time
I found comfort in your late night whispers that brought peace to my restless soul
The first time I kissed you
I felt a rush no drug could compare too
I realised that there are things worth dying for
since we met
I have found someone who around I can be vulnerable again and not get hurt
I realised that no matter how bad **** gets you will be there for me
But most importantly you Angelique made me believe in true love again (something I had given up on )
You are truly my better half
And that is why I love you.
I don't wanna know your outside
Your mortal flesh
I want a intimacy greater than that
I want a love so strong it can withstand time it self
I want not to know your outside
I want to know your mind
I want to get a glimps into your soul
Into the rawness of your very being
I want to know who hurt you
I want to know who you love
I want to know you on a deeper level
Deeper than you know your self
That's the type of intimacy I want
Thats the love I desire .
We rush through life taking it to seriously
And most of the time we end up living miserably
We all just wanna fight to get to the top
Yet there is no one who takes a minute to stop
And no one to realizes it's only a matter of time till we drop
So take it slow along life's bends
And watch the movie life
Spoiler alert we all die in the end.
It's true you know,
It's true when they say everything wil change.
It's true that people change ,even we our self's change.
Isn't it a scary thought ,that you can't be certain about people.
Even our selfs.
That you can know someone your whole life and they can change infront of your eys.
But we can't judge them for that
We cant judge their change.
Because It's true ,
It's true that people change.
But it's pain that causes them to change....