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Heavy Hearted Oct 2020
Amanda Catching;

 the unworthy Angels
as they fall-
     Is a job
         Only you
could do.
5 years later I find myself alongside, once more
the comfort that I never wanted to leave.

The compassion I mistook being no longer the false
virtue I came to age with,

Help
waiting for
me-
And everyone else; right where they've always been.

No longer was I

too young to see.
Heavy Hearted Sep 2020
Pray for Truth
n Prey on Lies,
what is a prayer if not worry's disguise?
and then what of said worry, now so clear in our eyes?

Pray that fate wont fail me now-
preying on doubts which always allow,
In worries disdain, the unwavering Tao,

to this critical prayer's
undone what-ifs and what-nows?
worry unto fearsome prayers
Heavy Hearted Aug 2020
One thing I can show you-
As if my love understands, or could do,
All of the things that the happy people knew,

The lessons we teach, are taught back to us too.

I won't know you again, right on by my side,
As my dreams whirlpool,  we're pulled under riptides
May I find, and then loose, you on this earthly ride-

May you glimpse my real pain, on this final bedside.
A collaborative
Heavy Hearted Aug 2020
In Ashleigh's book, I now write
& provide her with this true insight:
We have yet to be friends- how we're connected despite,
all of the habits we-

Choose; Still,

to diminish the light
.
Read in order to write
Listen in order to say
To Repeat, repeat & repeat
Is the only way

To hold on to mindful thoughts.
Heavy Hearted Aug 2020
Spencer
Beautiful Baby
my boy, and my lover,
silently glowing with hope.
He reminds me
that through worry, although tonight-
I may still sleep.
My Spencer,
always so ready
to hear & see
but only ever
in our blue dreams.
Eager to know; Understand
Eager to help, desperate; to heal.
To fix-
to carry.


Spencer. Spencer. Spencer.
A name, a question & an answer,
a Silent Singer's basement dancer-
a Simple, magic, modern-romancer.

so it's him with these words,

that I choose to now smother,
as I write precipitously  , yet another..
Prayer that his truth & love uncover,
Pieces of me as memories recover,
a new way to yearn & then rediscover,
sincerity's truth within one and other.
Love you all the time.
Heavy Hearted Aug 2020
First is a tree who's name wasn't taught
Next, then of course,  a tree now forgot
And then many maples
A spruce and a birch,
Then the last leafless branch upon which these words perch:

Now Into blue sky
Through the swirled clouds I search
On this dock, or a bible
In this lake like a church;

My soul does the backstroke
Toward the blue dream, I lurch.
Heavy Hearted Jul 2020
In the washroom
my reflection
and I,
Challenge one another-

A coagulated sweat,
A Combat baby's brain,
A moon that doesn't set-
Ascending constant strain...
Oh Anxiety, Paranoia,
Obsession and Depression,
Still perhaps, a poem just might
set free this true confession:
Confusion and  Delusion
The mirror's blunt conclusion
Pristiq, and then Welbutirn,
Art's  inclusive-type solution.

another one's challenge;
my Reflection , and I
In the Washroom.
"Blood I want it
giving up the fight
blood I want it-
Lay me down tonight"
-M.Myers
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