I’m not as sweet as the candy you once loved
I’m not as lovely as that flower on the gardener’s glove
I’m not as interesting as the changing color of autumn leaves
And I might not be the person I may seem

I’m not too good with words
I can’t speak what my mind tells me to
I’m not that beautiful
So you might replace me too
I can’t do well in school
But I try my best to

I might not be the one for you
But I just want to tell you
I really like you

The laughter and joy
The walks we enjoy
The stories that we share
And the actions they show
To know that they care
Was only part of the show
Little did I know
The words from their mouths
All have secrets underneath

And the knife was already too deep
For me to take it out

I can't help but miss the fragments of the past that I cannot put together because no piece were for each other

All I need is for you to be near
And having you here
Means there's nothing to fear
And if all things' are lost my dear,
All I need is your voice to hear
And I don't need any seer
To tell me that two hearts could adhere
And three words could make it all clear

Lying on my bed
With a phone in my hand
And the notebooks that I held
Filled with words of color
But my papers bled
And the words that come out is slur,
A struggle inside
A rollercoaster ride
Of words that wants to come out
But only a few survived
My desire to lock my mouth grew,
Locking myself up in a cage
With bars made of rage
And floors of a history book page
With the girl inside
And the need to keep and hide
The sadness in her eyes
With a hint of annoyance,
Not to others
But hers
"we will never be okay
And we continue to be lonely
Because the attention you seek
Will never look to your way"

The laugh of the person I want to reach
Is enough to make my little heart skip
Here's to the person I find too jard to reach,
To the person I cannot keep

When I try to write of all the things I like,
Your image flashes, and you fill my mind
My heart beats like a drum, like I'm on a hike,
But I still fear one day, our hearts would bind

As you knock on my heart, I add the locks more
Hanging on a thread, butbmy feelings have grown
Boy, your love words are enough to makr me soar,
But I know those words are not mine to own.

As two hearts attempt to be connected,
I will be the one to take the lost way.
You will not run and come, as expected
But if I could see you smile, it's okay

Even if I try to hold on,
My hands are too full,
And the world is too cruel
For a person
Whose only desire is to be true.

As I live my life as a fool,
The fingers that hooked the bars
Are slowly slipping.
The splashes shined like the moon
And the water is cool
As it made stars
And it fell on my cheeks, dripping

Only to realize
That the only thing I held on
Was your words full of lies

I never knew
the things that I could do
and I'm afraid
as I laid
on my bed; I have failed
myself, and now I'm afraid
of the things that I could do
I'm losing myself
I never knew
banging your head
could set you free
I never knew,
comfort could be found
at the tears on my bed

I am afraid
of the things in my head
I am afraid
of myself

I wonder what it feels like
Flying like a lost kite
Holding on to a string attached
Keeping up for air to grasp

Twirling like a ballerina
Tip toed, not touching the floor
Twirling like those ballerinas
Behind close doors

I don't want to try
Because I know I'll regret
But I wonder what it's like
Hanging in a thread

The great emperor and the tyrant king
was known as the great kingdoms.
One possesses freedom,
and the other possesses suffering
They were two worlds apart,
where time cannot travel,
walls taller than the tower of Babel.
there, started their endless battle
One presented a sword and a shield.
The other, a paper and a pen,
but something is strange with these men
both were smiling at the battlefield
the two were similar, but not exactly brothers.
Both were breaking and nobody knows.
Crying for help, listening to their woes.
they live in a mask where nothing shows
but a smile on a face that nobody knows

This is for the person who doesn't care
Where feelings are not shared
Sleepless nights wherein we all worry
Yet we never heard the word "sorry"
She who keeps on doing what's wrong
Ignoring us like an unwanted song
She who was cut with a knife that was never our fault
Little did they know we're slowly being stabbed with a sword
Those who do not know think she's in sorrow
To those who do know pity us for an effort unreturned
To those who gave their all was left behind in return
Yet no one asks why our hearts stop its burn
We made our efforts to do what's right
Ending up being the villain guy
I have more things to say
That sometimes cursing is my only ways
Why we are not noticed?
People might say we immediately gave up
Yet a year of sleepless nights is what they don't know
We tried to do the right
Yet she thinks we're not
Right becomes wrong
And believe me, were already tired
We just want others to realize
How selfish she is.
And now we return our feelings
Now you'll know how it feels
When people don't care.

I take the blame to all of your sins
Have you ever considered on how I feel?
Waiting until early morning
Unable to sleep because of worry
Then here I am with the same situation
But judgement was all on me
All i want is for you to understand
Because even I worry beforehand
Yet while I'm doing the same thing
I'm not disrespecting
But I still wonder why
And I save my self when I apologize
But stabs on my back
Increases to where I stand.
Blurting out lies
"I am fine"
But everyday, I just want to die

Is there something wrong with me?
I know I have a ***** loose
It's fine whatever I choose
Am i to selfish to think
That everything i say should be right and should be?

Maybe I am
But I'm not that kind of person
Maybe there are times that I am
But i still have my reasons

I know my personality has been mixed up
I don't know what to do and what should not
Maybe i wasn't guided that much
But time cannot be reversed
And even I start to wonder why

Maybe I was too shocked with the change
Tha I'm not able to respond well
Or maybe it's the fear that dwells
Where hearts cannot heal with a bandage

If you're asking
How did I became like this?
Don't worry
I also ask the same thing
Why are there fears in every sight?
Why are there tears every night?

I start to have a destructive mind.
I can handle stress but not pressure
I start thinking, should I die?
But that's not a real ending.

With this long poem
Tell me, is there something wrong
Yes, these words are not enough
To express a melancholic song..

after all the people that stayed
first love always remains

first love never leaves,
scars are still seen
and words still scream

first love never dies
because those were your first lies

first love always stays
**and he was my first heartbreak

for your happiness
these feelings will not show
for your happiness

**i will let go

Just smile
It will all pass
Just smile,
To the things you can't grasp

As long as you're happy
I am content
Even though my heart will be broken
And will forever lament

Throughout the years
You're never there for me
Throughout the years
Realizing we're not to be

Throughout the years
Thought you're more than just a friend
Throughout the years
Wondering what's that feeling again

And there you stood, surprised
Then I realized
Ah yes, people change
.
.
.
**And feelings fade

I talk to you often
I enjoy it, truly
Those times when I still love you
Those times when my love never lessen

But years have passed
Things have changed
Things not saved
Like how my feelings fade

Yes, I miss you
I still want to talk to you
But that doesn't mean that I still love you
I was inlove with you

Good times or bad times
I'm always here for you
I will help you fly, and you flew
While I carry the burdens of your crimes

Those flowers that you always send
With the color of yellow, with the shades of blue
Those words of "I love you"
Though I know, it's only meant for a friend

I don't want to pretend that I'm okay
Wishing to be the one who paints the smile on your face
Wishing to be with you in times of gray
Wishing to be the one, feeling your embrace

I just don't want these feelings to grow
No more, not anymore
And just like that
.
.
.
.
.
.
*I let you go

I don't hate them
I'm Jealous
I feel ridiculous
While having this feeling of lament

Whenever I talk, always
I always get cut off
I feel out of place nowadays
Even if I try to fit in as I could be of

Every statement I say is being ignored
I'm just trying to be strong
But inside my heart, it's stored
The things I've been keeping for so long

I'm reaching my limit
I'm close to breaking
But, just smile at everything
Maybe that would lessen my agony in it

I was carried
By clashing emotions

I was buried
With faking expressions

Here I am today
Feeling the border again
Ignoring everything again
Putting up a fake display

I am not the perfect girl that you've expected
I am too eccentric and I tend to get too excited
I am loud and a bit of an airhead
Though no one knows how my words bled

I am a bipolar girl
After being cheerful, I'd be the melancholic girl
But please bear with me...
I am slowly breaking, can't you see?

I am a lonely girl in the middle of dusk and dawn
Conflicted on what these grieving eyes see
Catching the falling debris
Of my heart barely holding on

The first time we met
Was a love in first sight
We were just a kid so we let
Our emotions fly

When we parted ways
When we cannot be like those days
When You were with me
When we were young, wild and free

One thing's for sure though
I missed you so bad
I miss you so bad
And I will miss you so bad

But that was all because
Of a mere infatuation
Love is not the cause
Of why you left me in frustration

But then we meet again
Things have changed
Everything has been arranged
What happened then will never happen again

I now live a life of a new door
I have let go of the one I was once fond
I have moved on
And I just don't love you no more

Some people are afraid
Of the dark or heights
But these will fade
If you go down or turn on the lights

Some people are afraid
Of the ghosts and monsters
But these will fade
With the warm love of our mothers

Some people are afraid
Of the crowds and peers
But these will fade
If we become positive through the years

Some people are afraid
Of being alone and hated
But these will fade
If we show them why are we created

There are different kinds of fear
They mostly put us into tears
But our worst fear
Is the death of someone dear

Where they will never come back
Every joy will fall back
Where they permanently leave
Where we can't feel them breathe

It's what no one wants to see
No one wants to hear
No one wants to know
A life where they will never show

Tears and fears are frightful
Falling and loosing are hurtful
But all these will fade
**Just believe in Him, always

Years have passed and I have moved on
Those feelings that I had were gone
But here I am to tell you
"It was a mistake to lean on you"

Those times, yes I do miss
Those times before all of these
And here I am to let you see
"It was my mistake to be deceived"

I remember the times of laughter
I remembered the smile where I was mesmerized
But it was too late when I realized
"It was a mistake to believe in happily ever after"

I might have stayed with you
I might have still loved you
But then you set me free
"It was a mistake to hurt me"

Now you suffer the way I suffered
You were truly the one I loved
Now, I'm just here to let you know
*"It was a mistake to let me go"

I had a dream where you where mine
Under the tree, looking at the stars that shine
When waking up is worth it
Looking forward for tomorrow to lit
Holding the hand that I remember
Seeing that smile that I treasure
With those kind gestures
While in the green pastures
Looking at your eyes
Where your expression lies
You touched my face, it's what it seemed
But with just a blink
Everything became dim
Then I realized, it was only a dream
That can never be a reality

I am the shadow
I am the support wherever others go
I help them shine even if it makes me darker
As long as they shine for me, I will feel better

But I am the shadow
That can also stand alone
The shadow that also know
How to be the light in the dark tone

I am the support of other
But I can also stand alone
I may be one that is known
As the light that was overpowered by the shadow

A small room that no one ever visited
Where I lived in a world that is almost deserted
Where I dream of peace and happiness
Where I live in loneliness

It started one day, in an old mirror
A figure showed, I drew closer to see clearer,
He introduced himself as a wizard and smiled
A smile that resembles mine

The wheel of fate began to turn
My days began to change
Where I felt happiness like a bird out of its cage
Is it okay to call you my friend? My only friend?

As we placed our palms at the mirror gently
I feel war and happy and faintly,
I sense the magic, in my heart it came
“Can you say my name?”

He granted all my wishes
I was able to walk without this illness
The war has ended, so we gather
The room that's filled with laughter

I had a dream, more like a memory
Where I was a princess, a majesty
I still remember that nostalgic dream vividly
And even that became reality

Though he granted all my wishes
I have this feeling of incompleteness
This thing that feels so grand
Please never let go of my hand

I wish to you that we’ll always be together
Where you’ll be with me forever
We had a very happy beginning,
But what about our ending?

The magic wore off too soon
Where my dreams revert to reality
You told me something but why this soon?
It made my heart shatter painfully

“Farewell or else, the magic will fade in a blink of an eye”
“Don’t go for I love you so”
“Please don’t cry.”
“Then please don’t go…”

“Our destinies that was never meant
I just returned what you have given me
Your smiles ant your tears, in my heart I held
So please, don’t forget about me.”

I wish we could have stayed together
I still want to be with you more
Even without magic, it doesn't bother
So please, come to see me once more

I’ll polish this old mirror and be waiting for you always
No matter how much time passes
Where I’ll live happily ever after with you
Until then, I’ll be waiting here for you…

On a rainy day, in the road we use to walk, there we head
A perfect day, it was suppose to be
But with a worn out voice, you said
“Goodbye” to me

Raindrops started to pour in my eyes
“That’s strange, did I misheard you?”
Please tell me this is a lie
I don’t want to hear it from you!

The world I shared with you was meant to be kinder
It was meant to be warmer
I don’t want to accept this where you,
A world, a reality where I’ve been abandoned by you.

Sinking deep in the sea of falling drops
The rain pouring down, never clearing up
Unable to do anything, unable move forward
Why is it so hard?

Every moment with you that are not meant
Everything that you said, I want to hate it
I want to really, madly, completely hate it
But I can’t

Even if the whole world turned against you
I will always protect you
Even if every wish is left unheard
Even if every comforting words feel absurd

I don’t want to see, I don’t want to hear
I don’t want to know the world without you
Those things that I fear,
But even if that happens, I’ll still wait for you

We were in the wrong timing
Where everything is wrong
Where being with you is wrong
But I’ll wait until everything will be right

When the right time comes, let’s meet again at the same place
Where no one is against us being together,
Where we could live through time and space,
Until then, I’ll be waiting for you ‘til the end of forever

Frost, how can you be so cold?
So cold, my heart just folds
So cold, it froze and broke
So cold, it dries my throat
So cold, but it warms my soul
It's warm, it doesn't fit your role
It's warm, a secret that must not be told
Frost, how can you be so cold?
Can't you see that I love you so?