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Edward Coles Jun 2013
You are art manifested in my eyes.
The glow of the camera
tells of soft skin and heart.

Oh, you are a papery beauty,
mystic and fair
as the childish storybooks
and all of their impossible colour.

Long hours I spend,
planning what is to be said
between us.

I imagine my confessions
spilling out in perfect eloquence.
I imagine a connection beyond
the regions of my past experience

and all of the poverty of the present.

You are the unknowing and benign
conquest in my life. Oh,
how I place in you
the catalyst for my escape.
Edward Coles Oct 2014
He tried to find it between her legs,
he tried to find it on the news,
he tried to find it in yoga poses,
but he found it with the blues.
c
Edward Coles Dec 2012
Every era that has ever been
Has engaged in the auto-dissection
Of their yellowing underbellys.

Yes, every generation has predicted
that the end is nigh,
That god is on their side;
But the devil has a crowbar
And is busting out of the basement.

Each decade is a mimicry of the last.
Different fashions, same trends
And always, with a fool on the hill.

A lonely steel harmonica can pierce the airwaves
Across space and time,
Through the grooves and crackles
To enthral an audience,
And to beguile that every generation
Into believing in their autonomy,
Their solitude,
With a fate independent of all those centuries past.

Through every disembodied spew of Dylan lyrics,
Or the corporeal and common alienation
Sympathised in every Wilde reference,
Comes the same fury at the chaos of a world
That is no more than indifferent at the plight of the people it houses.

Indeed,
Every generation has sought to either
Cure the ills of the Earth;
Or else set lighter fluid to the lot.

This stretches back to the first blood-spattered edition of the Bible,
And further, much further.
To all of the captains,
The heroes,
The anti-heroes,
The road gritter,
The malevolent dictator,
The schoolteacher,
The emancipated woman
And the borderline feminist.
To every young child who is reluctant to take the spotlight,
Or look you in the eye,
Ask questions, or speak out.
For every one of those who at some point were labelled
‘maladjusted’.

And so the Pharaohs and Caesars are all but gone now,
Replaced by the big-wigs,
The fat-cats,
The purple hearted,
The playboys -
The men in suits.
But they are all the same.

The same behind the decadence of
A solid gold sarcophagus
Or an Armani pair of shades.
They all built their empire on shifting sands.

And so we will all kick and scream
To our own tone and our own time
At the indignity of the world.
At our bespoke knowledge
To deal with all inconvenience
But that which privates the preclusion
Of any and all major slaughters of justice.

As for that young child,
With the lack of eye contact -
And all that he will become:
He will sit. And he will type.

He will type until his words fall beyond that
Of the spiralling noises inside his mind
And blossom into something pure and ugly and beautiful.
He will sit and he will write

To forget.
Edward Coles Feb 2014
Maybe I was not meant
for life uninterrupted,
and long years spent
in solution.

Maybe I was not born
to feel lasting friendship,
old faces now torn
from my devotion.

Maybe I am not here
to be a whole person,
instead but a tear
of half emotion.

Maybe I am just air
falling from the bridge,
never seen and barely there
in all of life's commotion.
I'm a mess.
©
Edward Coles Jul 2016
The cello sings Ave Maria.
Distilled calm; blister packs
In a wet July.

There is peace in every grain,
So fine. Wore away the stone,
Three drownings in the sea.
Annihilation

To build a monument
We settle upon:
Our paradise recovery.

There is warmth after the rain.
Ukulele played on the
Gran Cervantes balcony.
Off-white scars;
Pyramids with no eyes.

Every stoner sleeps.
Every kind heart cries.

The Arc of Life sings a lullaby,
Still I cannot get calm.
In a wet July

A comfort to staying inside.
We tried, wore away our lungs,
Three renewals in the sea.
A leap of faith,

An old keepsake
We contrived upon:
Our lunatic discovery.

There is movement in death.
Pollen falls to the ground;
Exhale of recovery.
Dead-end joy,
Statuettes with no eyes.

Every criminal weeps,
Every kind heart lies.

The cello sings Ave Maria.
The strings that heal
In a wet July.
C
Edward Coles May 2014
The vintage shops are closing,
The sweepers are cleaning the streets.
Our modern minds are locked in change,
As poetry suffers to defeat.

Oh, the Christmas bells are chiming,
To greet the start of June.
They’re calling, calling, that love’s tokens
Can never be bought too soon.

And, the infant yell of binge drinkers
Sounds over their bosses’ tones.
They’re drink-driving to the liquor store,
And weaving through traffic cones.

Now the engineers are catcalling
In their neon-breasted suits,
Hard hats to hide their flaccid love;
Oh, purple-hearted brutes!

This hometown is full of characters
In the brief demise of day,
And all I can think in this lonesome state is:
Darling, please don’t go away.

This photograph of childhood
Stains my eyes with smiles.
Such a full and healthy appetite,
Now gone over so many miles.

Still, I search on for a reason
To live within this hive.
I’ll give my all to find this sanity;
I’ll give everything just to survive.
c
Edward Coles Nov 2014
For once I have seen the moment in front of me.
I have given myself an unfaltering aim;
sober-eyed and away from Amnesia Haze.
The words came before the ability to speak,
and so I have been living as an empty barrel,
sleep-starved in the basement
and devoid of sunlight.

There is a wave of panic in the streets,
from ebola virus, to fulfilled prophecy.
Since my life slowed to a catatonic state,
the still waters came in a pill-drawn routine
of restless walks, and falling asleep in the day.
Once I had mapped out the cracks in the ceiling,
I stood up to look outside the window.

A voice appeared, to appease the silent word.
It is a fallacy to think
that a quiet voice should not be heard.
C
Edward Coles May 2014
The dragons of Eden
Are forking their tongues
Along the silver edge of acetone rain,
Foreclosing yesterday’s shop-fronts
In favour of a clean white page.

They smoke in tailored suits,
Blackening their lungs
And toasting freedom with afternoon champagne.
They took man to the moon, they say,
And gave light to the modern age.

They tweak offshore accounts
With battery farms
Of the hardly living, and hardly human.
Forfeiting progress for profit,
They scandalise the streets in debt.

The dragons of Eden
Are flexing their arms,
They’re setting their minds from union, to fusion.
They’re alighting our memories,
But it is our choice to forget.
c
Edward Coles May 2014
I am drunk within the brand new light of morning,
This cigarette sends spirals to my head,
All I have come to do is now forgiven,
And all I’ve meant to do is an outcome all the same.

I should be sleeping now in the yellow sun-lit alleys.
The growling pigeons are my hostile call to sleep,
But all I can think about in this division,
Is how daylight is but the malformation of dreams.

So what time I lay my head, it doesn’t matter.
No, all that matters is the cycle of the sun;
All that has come to pass will remain in the Earth and
In the soil that becomes purchased into land.
c
Edward Coles Sep 2015
The Empire is built on the soil of a million dead soldiers.
Drug of war, crater covered up by miles of dust and distance;
cameras cut to graves of the fallen 'brave'
as if bravery can only exist in death.
Meanwhile, cameras forgot
to catch the fall of the still-living into poverty-
a life of psychological warfare-
how can you fund for a disaster
when you have no proof that it is there?
c
Edward Coles Feb 2014
I have become the cartoon of misery. Meditation only goes so far before western medicine is needed, before old Johnnie Walker comes to visit me at my desk. He does nothing but sit and keep me company, faithful friend, whilst I go about polluting the internet. I have let myself go. I think Johnnie helped with that, for better or worse. I bid him goodnight at my bedside, faithful friend, knowing that I'll not want him there in the morning.

I have become something wasted. Old pill packets pile on the side, ailments beyond cure or at least, beyond care. Hats scatter the room, never to be worn but optional costumes for future selves. Change collects in big proportions in a coffee mug, left to waste in rust as another day passes in daily interviews with the mirror and no plans. It's crazy, I know, spurning vital energy in not exerting any of it all.

I have become the morning after. Eyes buzzed with new light, temples now ruins of Dionysus, I search for the window of perception. Roman blinds flirt truth in waves of indeterminable information and so I call up old Johnnie to help me understand things again. He flavours ice with half-truths and old, old cravings. I dial in old numbers, old, old, old, until I feel new again, once I realise they can't talk to me anymore. I have become the teenage dream realised as I take to independent waste and whiskey slur, long-shot attempts at fame and periods of silence with the family.

I have become the cartoon of misery with no audience. I can live with that.
Edward Coles Dec 2016
Stood, ill-assured,
On the other side of the classroom.
Shirt pressed, 5.a.m shadow,
Shoes black as sleepless hollows.
The waning attention of wandering minds,
Hearts strung to a breaking point
They believe will relent with age.
One decade, the fence.
I want to reach over and teach them
“I am not okay.”
I currently teach English as a second language and it's hard to hear teenagers tell me "I'm fine thank you" when I know that many of them are not, and will never feel it is okay to say otherwise.

C
Edward Coles Sep 2014
There is no genius here,
only mental illness conveyed
in an eloquent turn of phrase.
A Christmas Nativity in August
begins, with a topical birth
of a commonplace bride,
told that purity is
some form of ribbon
that is to be cast aside
upon the briefest love for a man.

We feel a tiredness beyond memory.
Memory of when it set in,
or how long it can be slept off
before sleep becomes the problem itself.

The choir sings in broken melody.
Fat faces that glow in spotlight,
dreaming for a future in film,
in a town built for passing things by.

There is no coastline here,
no way to look beyond road strips
and broken-down shop-fronts.
All we can do is keep on waking each day,
stirring the tea leaves
and keep looking for the next high.
A way to see out over
all of this separation,
that repeats in echoes and falls
from the early evening news.
c
Edward Coles Jan 2014
For all the worries in your head,
all the tears that you have shed,
will we all know what it meant,
when we reach our life's ending?

And the rain stains the path,
to the stagnant Roman Bath,
to the fall of consciousness,
we call the Garden of Eden.

The forgotten circumstance,
of humanity's romance,
with a lifetime in the sun,
that'll last through the centuries.

And the truth in Emerald stone,
no matter how much wind has blown,
will whistle through the night,
to serve a reminder,

of the scope that we have spurned,
forgetting everything we've learned,
settling for the dregs,
in this pitiful freedom,

where we vote for men in suits,
and some purple-hearted brutes,
who sing in colloquial joy
for the empire's end-game.

Is this all that we have left,
from all the blood in sorry theft?
For all the tears that have soaked
into the fibres of tomorrow?

Because upon my gentle heart,
and in the poetry of art,
I still kindle for that loss
I have felt in my division.
Edward Coles May 2014
I wish people could see the world as I see it right now.
Bleak British fog and thundering rain grazes
The bus windows, as we enter the seventh hour.

Ryan Adams is singing Sylvia Plath, as rapeseed fields
Threaten to bring colour to the north. The pills are
Working, and I’d cry for joy or for poverty if I could.

This isn’t the spring I was promised, but that’s okay.
I have learned that a promise is but a sincere lie,
And expectation can only offer far-off feelings and

No time. I’ve stopped throttling the goose to demand
My supper. I have stopped walking through the rain
And complaining about the weather.

It is time to start living.
c
Edward Coles Sep 2014
We are young, they say,
like the new stars forming,
like the ocean sounds adorning
sleep to the city dweller,
with his leathered face
but handsome pay.

He's exchanging the sirens
for a more rhythmic pace,
taking off his coat
and professional face,
to press you to the wall,
forgetting the Keats and the Byrons
that came before.

We are young, I'm sure,
despite having to crawl,
despite disappearing into
the city sprawl,
and returning half a person,
only memory intact,
and a stream of shutting doors.

You're giving up too soon.
Too soon a disciple of established fact,
too soon beguiled by
your own stage-lit act;
a smile worn, rather than felt,
a dress bought for him,
but never touched,

and for all of the hands
you may have dealt,
not a single one
has kept you young.
c
Edward Coles Feb 2014
Whisper to me upon Valentine's Day,
cool the water of scalding tide.
For, I've been lacking in absence of you,
I've been lacking all twenty years through,
please, lend me your ghost to confide.

Since us, I've been living in weather
turgid and hostile to flesh,
please, send me your songs of the sunlight,
darling, send me your heat through the night,
hand in mine 'till our fingers mesh.

Surviving on the promise of our children,
brown eyes - your living legacy,
their movements of mood mimics yours,
as British rain upon tropical shores;
how little in them, I see me.

Oh, whisper to me on Valentine's Day,
more than memory taken in wind,
for, without you my breath remains stubborn,
whilst all else I know is falling apart,
my appetite waning and thinned,

all because of this long-broken heart.
©
Edward Coles Mar 2018
The moon is full and high
Casting shadows on the wall
In the house where no one sings anymore

At night, you can hear the wind
In the empty room and halls
In the house where no one sings anymore

Even the faces in the ceiling
They’ve grown blind and mute and bored
And the voices on the TV screen
They make no sense at all
In the house where no one sings anymore

Until the light floods in
And rids the shadows from the walls
Nothing’s changing in this house
Not anymore…
In this house where no one sings anymore
A song I wrote

C
Edward Coles Feb 2014
All paths link,
from chaos to mend.
All humanity's start,
is humanity's end.
Edward Coles Nov 2014
She arches her back on the yoga mat,
channelling Durdle Door.
In full-length breath
and composed hypertension,
she remains unmoved
as the world about her
suffers to mass
and the moving ocean floor.

Well-versed in the effects of cold air
and rhythmic bombardment,
she has learned a stillness
to rival the effects of pink wine
on her nerves
and her taste for cigarettes.
My sweet Venusian,
despite physical prowess,

cannot sustain her poses
against time and internalised illness.
C
Edward Coles Dec 2014
G-d knows I have tried
but he did nothing to help me.

I met my father at the end of the world
in a soundless meditation;
the still waters surrounded us
on some obsolete island,
but he could offer me nothing
apart from the same watery smile
I find in the mirror each time I drink.

Love came to me once
but I never felt worthy of it.

Since then, human touch was reduced
to formulaic platitudes;
a handshake from unerring acquaintances
and embraces from old friends
that always end too soon.
It is hard to be kind to yourself
when your bed is resolutely vacant.

Words may come to comfort others
but I am tired of hearing my voice.

Self-worth was lost to cigarette butts
and a loose grip on my sanity;
tasteless food sits in my mouth
and I can no longer appreciate
the fruits of privilege and shelter.
I am shielded from the rain
but the winter still finds me.

G-d knows I am doing my best.
It never quite seems enough.
C
Edward Coles Apr 2014
I am tired of trying to find
Words that rhyme,
Words to quantify
This meaning bereft in my chest.

Where are you now?
You promised to be here forever.
You said that nothing could steer you
From the love found within our bed.

Darling, I know that I’m a fool,
That you did well just to keep with my moods,
But now that I need you more than ever,
I have lost you to some art teacher.

He’s killed Rufus, and stripped me of art.
He has taken from me my constant,
An oxygen tank in this tear-gas foreign field;
Now my lungs are drowning in dread.

And all I can ask in this strange composure
Is where I went wrong in flesh surrender;
Did I not keep you warm through North-Eastern winds?
Did I fail to capture what you felt was the end?
c
Edward Coles Sep 2014
The wires are poking out
and a small childish plaster
covers over a broken artery,
turning to the colour of black pudding.
Cold toast sits on a plate
next to the smallest vat
of salted butter
and somewhere amongst
whiskey and tiredness,
I have become ill again.

Politicians organise themselves
like smoking aids for quitting.
They claim to start a war
against the malformations they rely upon.
Old news spreads like rumour
as the nurses tend,
bend necks over bed-sheets,
learning to gossip over
the topic of tumours,
and suicide rates in men.

Mothers wring their hands
beside comatose sons with
screws fitted into knee-caps
and a procession of staples across the skull.
Entropy has sent us here,
only partial, always anxious
for when the curtain will fall,
willing to rely on healing crystals
if all medicine fails, as the church
cries for prayer or else: acceptance.

The tree-tops peek out
and evidence the wind
that keeps on blowing,
only promising a boundless freedom
now that I am removed from it.
New patients arrive and leave
as fast as it takes me
to learn their names.
Nothing has changed
since I stopped drinking.

I am always the last one
out the door.
c
Edward Coles Jan 2018
I’m tired of these lonesome nights
spent **** in fist and staring at the ceiling.
Exist in thought and again through
ever-changing screens;
it’s been years since I lived through action.

Desiccated white heels in the dust of Savannakhet.
Finding love in the half-dark Bangkok hotel room.
The bar-maid in Malaga, hash from Morocco,
all those nights spent lusting for blood amongst the wine.

Now getting high means finding an anchor
to hold me down when gravity does not feel enough.
When all forces of G-d and Nature combined
Cannot rattle hard enough to force me to speak
in any half-filled room.

Sometimes I’m certain the noise in my chest
can be heard aloud
and everyone knows I am nothing.
I wonder why in all my dreams
Beauty follows in my footsteps.

I wonder why in all my dreams
I’m running away from something.
C
Edward Coles Jan 2015
The library is more like a hospital.
Bleached lights cause migraines,
the words too clinical and exposed
like eczema scars on my wrists.
It is too bright to fall in a thicket
of cognitive thought  and blind imagery.

The secret of beauty is good lighting.
I could never fall in love with a word
under such a surgical glow,
all intimacy on show in a place meant for
German Dictionaries and free wi-fi.
A place for the missing to sleep,
and not a place to daydream.

There is no smell of coffee,
only the occasional whiff and crackle
of a surreptitious sandwich interrupting
the stale breath of printer ink and ointment.
I am all for public places
until I find myself within one.

Exposed under these artificial stars,
I come here for a chance of no distraction.
Each time, however, I find myself languid.
Eyes set to some indefatigable point
whilst I catch the taste of shared air,
the sirens in the distance,
the location of nowhere.
C
Edward Coles May 2014
I have been writing songs of escape whilst staying inside.
I have become sexless; young bones but an old soul
Painting in caves, and shielding eyes from the sunlight.

There is no *** in self-pity. The new Casanova on pills;
Hands clamming over a glass of whiskey and ice,
And eyes plastered to the sports news for the next tragedy.

I remember the chestnut hair of my childhood.
Rubbing potatoes over tree bark to show nature’s artistry;
We need not create, when creation does it itself.

Now, there are just photographs of corpses in the clouds.
I walk the same route each day, expecting a different outcome,
Going over old ground, yet striving to feel new again.
c
Edward Coles May 2018
Started over again
Re-learned my sums
Until I could stand
Over the faucet
And count my blessings
Again

Children play with no shoes on
As locals drink coffee
At the daytime bar
They let me sit at their table
Eat their food

Fall passive and glum
Amongst their easy conversation

I learned to be clean again
It started with the dishes
My clothes
Then at a snail's pace
***** and cigarettes followed

Soon sleep was no enemy
I greeted it like a friend
With the aid of her weight
Across the mattress
Her breath

That filled the silence
Of the room
Started over again
Rolled away the stone
To let the light back in
C
Edward Coles Nov 2014
Rock bottom is fantastic for perspective.
c
Edward Coles Nov 2014
I was raised in a market town
with nothing to sell
but the notion of escape
to higher planes
and better times.

Landlocked,
the bars only serve
to bring you down
or to distract you with sports news
and the price of beer.

The drunk crowds assemble
in uniform fashion,
at a routine time
with cyclical conversation
and a lack of expression.

With no time for a future,
we focus on the past,
memories of fuller wallets,
of that potential lover,
now a passing glance.

Still we drink and we meet
to satisfy our days,
to turn our sorrow
into laughter,
and to keep loneliness at bay.
c
Edward Coles Jul 2013
Roadways have flayed greyed arteries
Into the greenaries of the land.
A kingdom of metallic cities,
An empire built upon shifting sands.

And bombs stain the badlands
In dusty countries far ashore.
It is a time for distractive actions
And a constant state of war.

But what a dull reality!
To focus on the undulations,
The consequences of being free,
The purge of the weaker nations.

For life can be easy
If you live through glossy pages.
The life and lies of a celebrity;
The superficial ages.

A sorry state for families
Who talk only about the weather
And other temporal pleasantries,
On their proud suites made of leather.

Oh, what a poor affair!
Caring more for the clouds above,
Than the climates of our world-weary hearts,
and for all the ones we love.

And lo, we're careless and carefree
for all that does not appear on screen.
They'd gush over some royal baby,
But not pine over the unseen.

Our modern sicknesses
Are conjured and conceited too.
For what value is there in compassion,
If oneself is feeling blue?

Does charity begin at home?
You once said it does nothing at all.
But is home solely what you own,
In a world so close and so small?

These questions are silent,
But they are asked in the thousands.
By all those that are used to deaf ears,
Across all oceans and lands.

To the soft-hearted I call thee,
To not be so stilled and so dampened.
By the weight of the majority,
the crowds of the minds unopened.

And to myself I hope,
That we shall meet dear reader.
Above your recitation of my words,
To something more real,
To something much clearer.
Edward Coles Apr 2020
Hand-painted ceramic turtles
camouflage in flower beds.
I discern their faces
at a distance.

Blind-sided kaleidoscope-
work fatigue
versus
the first breath of morning
in the heart of April.
I am awake,
half-alert,
inertia bleating in my bones
where is the steady drum of mercy
where is the heart inside my home?

White blossoms fall
like Disney snow
cans of Stella at my feet.
Cardboard boxes  
damp and listless blow
across the lawn
and the silent street.

Amitriptyline
softens the edges.
A chemical reaction
that can never be
the Solution.

Spring is bleeding into colour
before my eyes.
I want to break the skin,
taste something sweet-

too scared that my timing
is not right.
Edward Coles Jan 2014
I wish I could hold in me
the same indifference
to near-everything,
that you show with
such intrigue.

Objective steward,
you **** my mind with
one-thousand malformed thoughts.
Thoughts of my hypocrisy
and the spineless way
I have given up on
revolution.
Edward Coles May 2014
The old sage laid out my life in egg shells and incense.
He told me that I was as much the smoke,
Curling amidst the radio waves,
As I was the fragments of calcium
And memories of a former nest.

The old sage had not touched anybody for years.
He said that he could feel the sorrow
Of one million faces passing by the monastery
Without even looking;
He said that human touch had always failed him.

The old sage asked me to see into the future.
He laughed at my helplessness and then
Pointed to the sea. “See here,” he said
In some beckoning wisdom; “you can see
The waves’ fate, before the conclusion.”
c
Edward Coles Dec 2012
A paper lantern,
Crafted by the small hands
Of a girl with lime green nails
And flecks of dried glue peeling at her fingers.

It sits in visceral stillness,
Made of bleached white paper
Usually reserved for the tedious documents
Chronicling this-and-that,
The unimportance of the adult world.

There is a smell of felt tips
To replace the lost one of chalk
That used to settle so stubbornly in the air
And reside powder-blue in the lungs.

We are in the proximity of Christmas now,
Nothing but a daze away.
And festivities are tangible in the city streets
As those shops and stalls display their colours
And sounds,
In the mating ritual of buy-and-sell,
Make-and-take.

The classrooms are empty,
The corridors somewhat cavernous.
Empty coat pegs tell the stories
That cannot be heard in the voices of the children
Still echoing against the walls.

The buzz of Santa Claus is permissible
For just another year.
After that, magic must be shelved
And brought out only for the first dust of snow,
A meteor shower,
Or in a generous two-for-one discount.

But for now the children go home for Christmas
And the paper lantern will sit
Constant.
Edward Coles Jan 2015
Distraction! The skirting board is alive.
Last year's grit at the back of a desk;
you have a story to write,
a good friend to deceive, phone calls
to make to indifferent ears.
Dirt accumulates, black algae
in the carpet, and nothing on your mind.

There is an ****** in the sidelines,
it will have to wait – a soap opera,
a bath of salt, a supply of coffee:
catalyst for the morning,
some razor blade, a brand new face.
“A necessity!”she drools, a fragrant potion,
whilst children cry and die in Gaza.

The cigarette falters in its promise,
the fantasist friend, last year's prophet;
you have a life to live
but that can wait another year.
Love sits in your mouth, fat accumulation;
tasteless reprieve from hunger, a motion-
anything to escape stillness, immediacy.

Men in drag lift their skirts to the screen,
the fool is on the hill, the billboard; a dream
of fame litters your focus, your self-hood.
There is a pyramid built for better people,
all these old institutions – indefatigable ladder!
The rings of tea caramelise on the table,
married to the places you have been before.

Elusive enterprise – unfulfilled spark,
you suffocate in oxygen, heat lost to air,
embrace yesterday's comfort, tomorrow's snare.
Take another day inside this indistinguishable prison.
The walls are glass. Eligible, you vote for Hope.
For the drug of the future, a disbursed present
for minimum wage, accepting slave; your eventual grave.
I believe this is my 500th poem :D
Edward Coles Jun 2014
I've chased sanity down
with whiskey and ice.
It has been months
since I have fallen asleep sober,
and even longer
since a smile lasted longer
than an ******
or new haircut.

I've come back to rooms
of coasters and candles.
They're mowing lawns
and discussing old events
to renew their youth.
I cannot see past
their prescriptions and remedies
for a tired mind.

I've abandoned meditation
for pills and the limelight.
Old friends lend jokes
and out-dated platitudes,
disclosing pity in mobile apps
and reptilian notions of survival.
Cap and gown,
they congratulate my heart rate.

I've retired from hopes
of fame and recognition,
and now all I want
is to find some time to sleep.
There is no privacy
in this fish-bowl existence,
and there is no piety left
in all that I have strewn.
c
Edward Coles Feb 2014
Closed eyes
to the fountain of youth,
to higher hopes
and new reality.
I claim spirit,
but give mind,
in fact give all
my scattered self,
in the hope some poor *******
sorts through.

Winter's guise,
I flicker off-white images
of galaxy and twine,
of breath mints and wine,
of sorry dancers
with broken heels,
reinvented wheels,
and augmented rhyme.

Light comes
and I storm it with cold,
I storm it with pens
and whiskey lies.
I storm it with science,
and I storm it with God,
I storm it with the golfers
and playboys,
about to tee-off.
I storm it with hate,
with the promise of pay,
my unrequited love
of Saturday.

And with wind came age,
came the steady hand
and furrowed brow
of sleet-strewn rain
and growing pain.
Of doubt. A bout
of flu,
a touch of death
and funds withdrew.
No more the kiddie
in the window,
aww-ing at sound,
the colour of air,
the steam of kettle,
forgiving snare,
life's poison-treats
and poison-poisons.
Un poisson hors de l'eau,
still - I'll thank you
for your time
and bad French,
old guru.

Still to shift in
this physical prison.
A prism of light,
of partial solidity,
of unending uncertainty;
a multitude misunderstanding itself.
It claims to the borders
and it clings to the bed,
it holds true to thought,
and all the worries
in my troubled head.
They descend,
never end,
in a crescendo,
a caterwaul
of mistreated sound,
dog in the pound,
and waistlines round.

Thigh gaps
and mind-the-gaps,
signposts and brochures
for the short-lived living.
They pester my mind,
interference, crackle,
prattle and rattle
of mediocre wisdoms,
of borrowed idioms
for bulimic bones
and broken homes.
They tailor my mind,
cuts and seams
of needless pleas,
for order in chaos
and blueprints
for blind entries.
All to settle the stomach,
to settle the plot
to settle this fever
that burns so hot.

Old-film stills
to the fountain of youth,
belligerent fist of tears,
for forgotten woes,
for sweaty prose
and swollen leaves.
Yellow birds and
old lime trees,
dear Suzanne
and her poetry,
about thorns in the side
and turning tides
of tambourine men,
and helter-skelter girls
turning empires
of simple love
and worthy sin,
to English tea
and to profit again.

She turns the tide
in a lover's brawl,
in winter's shawl
and Hollywood ball.
Sings Hallelujah
to the wonderful world,
to the shot girl's tips
and crazy catcalls.
To the Pink Moons
and old jazz tunes,
to the orange peel
and plastic sand dunes.
To Parisian men
and Las Vegas girls,
to twirls of meat,
and ballet shoes,
to the smoking student
and his heavy blues,
to the loss of art
in the modern street,
to busker beats
and sausage meats,
of coffee fumes
and white man dreams.

And we're entertained.
Oh boy, we're entertained!
Entertained at a rate of knots,
tangled headphones,
tangled minds,
tangled tales
of truth confined.
Television makes everything real,
it flavours life,
spices the story,
feel, kneel, heal the plight
of the Navy Seal,
invading land,
invading minds,
invading dreams
of love unconfined.
We're entertained
at the point of feeling sick,
of parrot-joy
and marketing intent.

We speak in circles
and we speak in phrase,
we speak in unending drivel,
of quote, motto and haze.
Haze of meaning,
and haze of depth,
of fortressed country
and insoluble debt.
We speak in telephones,
they speak on the bus,
they speak in the ghettos,
the nightclubs,
the churches,
the underpass
and they spill from the gut.
Whilst we torture ourselves
in the new-found freedom,
of living within
and not to the kingdom.

The kingdom of choice,
of self-salvation,
of astral self,
and meditation.
Of origin's tale,
of Earth-life passed,
of intelligence squared,
and foolishness fable.
Of infinity realised,
of time altogether,
of solidity-illusion
and falseness of summer.
Of warmth in the winter,
of red in the sky,
of collective catharsis,
a universal sigh.
A sigh for relief,
and a sign of mercy,
a plea for conception,
a gift for the future,
and humanity's redemption.
Edward Coles Feb 2015
My love is now a swamp
in the Poem Factory.
See, I've been keeping mean
on lack of sleep and ****,
******* at yesterdays;
an old dog's tricks,
an old man's routine.

The lung of water is thick
with chemicals; still-water bleach.
I've been trying to clean up my act,
you see;
bend my back into a yoga pose
and question what it means to be free.

I haven't found the answer yet,
but it comes in the moments
I don't question it.

It comes in the wake
of a happenstance lyric;
some eloquence through anxiety.

My love is angry heat,
a mirage across the street.
See, desperation leaves a scent
and an aura of hopelessness;
my dreams of ***
lift up from my tea,
steam buffeting from me.

The pipeline swallowed air
in the Poem Factory,
solitude, the hopeful dream;
isolation, the reality.
Another piece with a spoken word:

https://soundcloud.com/edwardcoles/the-poem-factory-1
Edward Coles Feb 2014
Do they sing to the stars of freedom,
just to celebrate their place?

Do they learn the universal laws,
just to decorate their wisdom?

Do they scar themselves with angry words,
just to bring about completion?

Do they shake under their wealth of love,
too much stored to ever dispose?

Do they donate their sorrow outward,
too much to keep to themselves?

Do they dream of death in waking day,
too much doubt within their brains?

Do they take solace in the half-light,
just to see anything at all?

Do they keep all friends close in mind,
just to feel anyone at all?

Do they keep returning to nowhere,
just to find anywhere at all?
Woke up today to news of getting a couple of my poems being published. After a few hours of feeling on top of the world, I realised it was a scam that dupes naive writers into vanity publishing. I don't know if it's relevant to this piece of writing, but it's a little bitter nonetheless.
Edward Coles Aug 2016
Tried to fulfil
the caverns in my eyes,
sleepless nights that echo
the chamber of creativity.

So much to do,
so much to do.

So many symbols to contrive
so that when I die,
I do not leave.

When did this ridiculous past-time
become a reason to be?

There is more truth in the flute
than a lover's tongue,
more heart in the metre
of well-formed words
than there is to belong
to any God or anyone.

Tried to fulfil
the hunger for movement;
restless flicker-book
that rearranges
the same old routine
of skipped pages
and human error

into art and reason.
C
Edward Coles Nov 2013
I felt his ring around my finger
Before we’d even touched hands.
A meek merchant of charm,
He desisted from cheap sentiments

And instead borrowed a will of silence
From some eastern monastery or other,
Citing his affections through silent smiles
And a shrug of his shoulders which told me:

“I am as baffled by this world as you are, dear.
For far too long I have had to lean on one leg
Whilst standing, to ease my ache, to wait things out.
Come, sit with me.”

And so I did.

Resplendent white, some archaic sentiment
Of false-purity – it bathes me. Washes me of colour,
‘till I’m baked in the reflective glow of sunlight,
Rinsed of history, of time, treasures and identity.

I’m his now.

This full-bodied mirror, she stands so ungainly
In her bridal pose. A slapstick siren, a young deer
On stilts; A stretch of church floor to hesitate over
Upon hatching. She must make it to the sea.

In this reflection, I see neither him nor I,
But a composite of his kindness, my eyes;
Small forget-me-nots of a daisy-chained child
And a waysided academic.

It’s not my fault, nor his. Our dreams were wasted
By fairytales, poisoned by old fortune. No story
Succeeded, no narrative complete, ‘till love is resolved,
Until love is in place.

I felt his ring around my finger
Before we’d even touched hands.
For, why would I ever care to scale such mountains,
In a world he casts so temperate and sure?

So with each year that shall pass,
From now ‘till some curtained collapse,
I shall reduce in my margins,
Fragmented elements and forgotten scope;

I dissolve unto him,
Stagnant upon his solution.
Edward Coles Oct 2014
I am sorry sir,
we don't think there has been enough improvement.
It has been weeks since you wrote anything of note
and our ears on the ground tell us you are drinking again.

I wish you would try harder.
What? You don't want to hear about Lincoln again?
He ran a country through it all. You can't even make
your own bed. Why is that?

Your parents?
No. Come on now. You will have to do better than that.
Yes, you have told us about your cat. And your school.
There must be something more. Do you believe in G-d?

You're not sure?
That might be the problem. You are never sure of anything.
Neither North or South, East or West, a roof over your head
but an old mobile phone. I think you just need a title.

I have one lying around here somewhere.
But I don't think you will like it.
c
Edward Coles Dec 2012
Your love is terminal and has weighed so heavy on my heart

Ever since that bottle of cider we shared was emptied

And let to lie there on the carpet and slip underneath the bed.



Revision: my love.

The weight still tugs at my chest,

And though I do not think of you that often

That long summer of nothingness will always find me

and warm my bones

and remind me of what was lost

in the tangled thistle as we came of age.

And I must concede;

That some things last a long time.



I remember when you refused my kiss

And seeing the restrain you had to pull

To stop yourself from falling into me once again.

The relief on your face as you broke the cycle,

It was plain to see that this was the moment

You would walk into that cowboy sunset,

You would grow up, fall apart

Tie your laces

And leave me on your roadside

Beside the dogs your father sent away

And all those forgotten, broken toys.



I’m fading away by degrees these days,

And I’m falling short of a ghost in the snow

And I feel that even if I could watch you sleep

Just one more time

I would just be the rain upon your window.
love
Edward Coles Oct 2014
Feet pedal the laminate flooring
as the screen door slides apart to
reveal her patient professional smile
c
Edward Coles Oct 2014
Depression: the state of clinging
onto everything until you can't work out
what to let go of.
c
Edward Coles Feb 2014
Coffee shop of small-screen fame,
playing fields for hunting game,
winter's dominance is sanity's gloom
of life extinguished in this eternal room.

Oh, this world is slain
by capricious men,
but one day soon,
we shall live again
A one-minute poem I wrote on the bus whilst going to work.. ©
Edward Coles Feb 2014
The banks circulate
all debt in subtle silence
and malignant woe.
We could talk all day long about immigration, welfare, land ownership, social issues, equality and war - but none of these things will stop until we change the  basics of what makes civilisation work.

"When the last tree has been cut down, the last fish caught, the last river poisoned, only then will we realize that one cannot eat money."
Edward Coles Oct 2015
They said Keith couldn't *** without a finger up his ***,
they said Ruth was a **** for not sleeping with her man.
They said George was a woman because he couldn't grow a beard,
they said Molly was autistic, because she was a little bit weird.

They said Mr. Winchester was a ******* because he wore an overcoat,
they said Ms. Wheeler as a witch, and once sacrificed a goat.
They said Mr. Winter was so fat, he was more or less bulletproof,
they said Ms. Walker was not attractive, but if it came to it:
she'd have to do.

They said Lucinda was thin because she chose not to eat,
sitting by the bathroom doors in the lunchtime canteen.
They said Leonard was a ****** with his long, blonde hair,
they said Luke was a downy because of his vacant stare.

They said Mr. Fresco was a drinker who beat his wife at home,
they said Ms. Finkel was a *******, seen standing out in the cold.
They said an awful lot of things that decayed away over time,
but it takes a strength to train the mind

to not trod the tracks of a lifetime past,
to keep yourself to who you are,
not those ancient words,
nor those faded scars.
This is a poem written mainly around the sort of experiences I had during high school - all those tall tales that permeate... I'm sure there are certain people we all remember from school more for a rumour that was cast about them, than anything about them as a person. The trouble is, words said, even decades ago, can still wound if allowed to, or if they were particularly traumatic.

p.s. I use words in this piece that I would obviously not use in day-to-day conversation. Context, art, and all that - in case anyone gets (or wants to feel) offended.
Edward Coles Feb 2017
The secret of my energy
can be found in my false libido,
unwanted erections,
vibrations on the
inner-city bus.

My blue collar life
with a white collar tongue,
tried pyramid schemes,
tried working for the right thing
on the wrong side of the bar.
Worked on my oral ***
until going down was an art,

worked on my poetry
in the hope I could ******* through
the empty spaces,
clear absence of a career path.

The secret of my energy
can be found in my distance
from anything or anyone.
The secret of my energy
can be found in my contempt
for telling those I care for
about who I love
or what I ate for lunch.

Tried drinking green tea,
meditating by the ocean waves
until I sang the ballad of the sea.
Tried tuning my guitar
to the point the strings would snap
in the hope of portraying emotion
my talent had always lacked.

The secret of my energy
can be found in my distaste
for positivity and pessimism,
for conservative thought
and overdrawn liberalism,
for whistle-blowers
and tone-deaf singers
of flag-waving anthems
and golden age dreams.

Tried holding my hand to my heart,
pledging allegiance
to red wine, white skin, and blue truth.
The secret of my energy
can be found in every idea
I had reached out for
only to find that in my pursuit

I could only become the sum
of all that I knew,
of all that I was,
of all I outgrew.
C
Edward Coles May 2014
The shot girl laced up her corset,
pressing brand new *******
into their vice for the night.

A Malthusian belt for shot glasses
and a holster for change
that conceals pepper spray.

She holds herself by the mirror,
reflecting a room of text books,
post-its, and old stuffed animals.

She kisses her palm to own her body,
before it is decomposed by eyes
and laid claim to by countless hands.

Her boss took issue with her skirt;
that it shows “too little leg”,
reversing all she'd been taught before.

She had a birthmark on her thigh,
and thought if nothing else,
she wanted possession of that.

For one more night, she says,
she'll flirt for a living,
for one more night, she says,
she'll numb herself.
c
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