My heart’s a mess
and my mind’s the same.
But moving onto another day
Knowing I can’t have you
Brings me such dismay.
I’m not adequate, it’s such a shame
That you seem so perfect
In every way.

I need to shatter
this rosy image.

Outside, she smiled and laughed.
Nothing’s wrong, her mask is strong.

Inside, a shadow roamed her mind,
Making her question her own kind.

Everyday she weeps.
But she’s too afraid to speak.

I may shiver when I see a slug
on the road;
I may shrink when it’s my turn
to order some food;
my heart may drop when a
drunk comes near;
my feet quicken and my eyes
widen when I walk through
the dark;
I may stutter when I
deliver my presentation to
bored students;
I may be silent during
recess while surrounded
by friends, lest I want
awkward conversation;

but I fear nothing.
That is my lie,
yet it is true,
for I should know
that these are things
I can overcome,
and continue my day.

Summer turns to Autumn
As Sleep abates my Days
In my Bed I shall rest
But rest I never may

I hear the Birds chirp
I see the Sun shine
If only I was deaf
If only I was blind

I could sleep
and not whine

You know what?

I **** at math, I **** at breathing
In my head, everyone's screaming
I can't stop the pain when I walk
Can't stop the fear when I talk

I regret I even exist
I'm sorry for being like this
But I'm afraid and I'm scared
No surprise
no one cares.

We often don't see what's in front of us,
our lover's kindled heart

We're too careless and ignorant,
it's tearing love apart