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Carolina Dec 2017
You didn't ask me if I was okay.
You gave no goodbye, just turned away.

The saddest part is that I'd run into your arms,
no thinking needed, I'd instantly buy the scam.

Because your heavy metal tones wander through my core,
because for only one bitter kiss I would implore.

You could send for me, I would come alive.
You could give me up once again, I promise not to cry.

I will not send you mean texts, I will not call you non-stop.
I will not act like a lovesick, as long as this repeats a billion times more.

Call me back, please, call for me.
I can do what you want, just say I'm your baby.

This suffocating feeling I cannot let go,
love? whim? whatever it is, it makes me feel whole.
222 · Apr 2020
Frozen.
Carolina Apr 2020
Her desire was love
but she found a land of ice.
In her duty to melt it
she ended up frozen alive.
219 · Jan 2021
I was here but now I'm not.
Carolina Jan 2021
I can't forgive you and I won't.
Indifference burns like cigarette smoke through my throat.
And I think I'll drink to sleep,
I won't lie awake and weep.
Once again I'm on my own,
once again my dreams are gone.
Keep on smiling at your phone,
hope you find there something more.
I was here but now I'm not.
Where am I?
I do not know.
Where am I?
I'll wait the call.
216 · Jun 2021
Peace.
Carolina Jun 2021
I see the extension of a countryside
at sun set.
I see a deep orange horizon.
I see hills, light blue from the distance.
I see a file of trees that at this time seem black.
I see a windmill at the right of the lot.
I see an only star shining bright.
I see my childhood.
I see freedom.
I see you.
212 · Oct 2020
I do not know how to swim.
Carolina Oct 2020
I am crossing the ocean,
you said we would do this together.
I am trying to cross the ocean
but I stop for a second and you are not here whatsoever.
I am floating alone,
you were supposed to be by my side.
How far is the shore from here to be arrived?
Everything is blue including myself.
I cannot see where the ocean ends
and the sky begins.
Oh no, I forgot I do not know how to swim.
I do not know how to swim.
208 · Feb 2018
Stars and birthday candles.
Carolina Feb 2018
I still wish upon falling stars
and birthday candles
because life cannot get better
unless it's superstitious luck or magic.
208 · Apr 2018
Search and wait.
Carolina Apr 2018
If I search for you,
               I never find you.
If I wait for you,
               you never come.

So what do you do
when the thing you want the most
hides away from you?

So untouchable,
                 unreachable,
                           so distant up high.

Do you keep on searching and waiting?
Or do you let it pass?
198 · Mar 2020
Devours.
Carolina Mar 2020
I explode, I leave my reason aside.
I cannot do anything about the chemical mess in my mind.
And I think for minutes,
or maybe for hours,
feeling the pain
as it devours.
193 · Apr 2020
Silence reveals it all.
Carolina Apr 2020
Breathe in, hold, breathe out.
To take care of a garden.
To take care of one's soul.
Sit in the grass, sit facing a wall.
Silence reveals it all.
Quieten the mind,
quiet the body,
emotions will get slow.
Then you understand them,
then they let you know.
You can integrate them,
and see how it flows.
193 · Mar 2023
Untitled
Carolina Mar 2023
In essence, deep and hidden,
there's the moon
and there is me.
Moving oceans;
raging waves,
hunting winds.
192 · Apr 2020
Sleeping on the floor.
Carolina Apr 2020
Not a kiss nor a caress,
not even when you see that I'm a mess.
Crying in the bed,
sleeping on the floor,
begging "I don't want this anymore"
Giving all I have,
giving all I can.
You turned on your back,
you don't even care.
184 · May 2020
That sound.
Carolina May 2020
I will lay myself down
and cry to the inner sound
of my heart breaking.
183 · Nov 2020
No sé escribir
Carolina Nov 2020
No sé escribir

Solo desbordo emociones
Que no se dónde dejar
No sé con quién hablar

No sé escribir

No poseo técnica ni estilo
En vez de un bello dibujo solo es un garabato
Que me distrae por un rato

No sé escribir

Así que sólo lo hago
Sin pensar mucho
Entre mis dedos un pucho
Y releo lo que ya leí y me hace reir

No sé escribir
181 · Mar 2018
Growling monster.
Carolina Mar 2018
The wrath inside me
I cannot control,
the monster growls
begging for more.
This sickening pleasure
I inherit from a fiend
of powerful rage
and a delight for fear.
The messed up in me
will soon dominate.
Blood, weeping and misfortune.
Oh, it will be divinely great.
181 · Nov 2019
Neon light.
Carolina Nov 2019
I waited all night for a shooting star
to wish upon,
to feel its light.
But the night went by,
too numb to cry.
The stars looked petrified
from all their lies.
The meteors shined
for a way short time,
blinding my sight
with green and white.
At last the only hint of light
that would meet my eye
was the neon light
from a club nearby.
178 · Jan 2021
Living corpse.
Carolina Jan 2021
I wrote you poems,
I've written you a million lines.
You don't deserve a word,
you deserve none of my sighs.
For you've tricked me
into believing
that love was kind this time
but you ran out of fuel;
Unmoving, unloving.
An empty space behind your eyes.
Now what sleeps next to me
is a living corpse
whose actions show no remorse.
I will turn my car into a hearse
and take you down below to end this curse.
178 · Feb 2020
Crawling.
Carolina Feb 2020
Another one
who grovels to them
when all you should do
is bid them farewell.
177 · Mar 2020
Dead end.
Carolina Mar 2020
Suddenly, the night was too dark,
the mind too twisted,
the city too dangerous,
the heart too damaged,
the sight too blurry
and life devastating.
173 · Mar 2020
I...
Carolina Mar 2020
I write, deep ache inside.
I cry, not knowing why.
I sleep, one more pill.
I drink, just want a thrill.
I read, not to feel alone.
I eat, not to reach my bones.
I dream, fed up of my life.
I quit, one more time.
I smoke, feet leave the ground.
I fly, elevated mind resounds.
I apologize, failed again.
I fall, wish to be dead.
173 · Apr 2020
This morning.
Carolina Apr 2020
Dark coffee, late morning.
Hot cup, cold heart.
Slowly sinking into the ocean.
Slowly losing the mind.
A fixed gaze on the wall,
fingers getting burned,
lifelessly inhaling,
feelings begin to rot.
173 · Mar 2020
Looking for.
Carolina Mar 2020
I've been looking for a man
         to caress my soul
         but my new true desire
         is one that calls me his own.

I've been looking for a man
         with no love soft nor sweet
         going over and over in my mind
         those guys from the streets.

I've been looking for a man
         with a heart black as tar
         no innocent angel,
         the one who'd crash the car.

I've been looking for a man
        who would break the walls.
        I find myself inclined
        to those who have the stones.
  
I've been looking for a man
       who've been burried in sand,
       who'd fight for any reason,
       who's got blood on his hands.

I've been looking for a man
       to ride or die with,
       to help me get going,
       to fill me with ease.
171 · Nov 2019
Untitled
Carolina Nov 2019
Trying to prevent you from living,
those who send you there to be eaten alive.
Thinking of being forgiving
even when they
deprive.
170 · Feb 2020
Dead.
Carolina Feb 2020
Literary dream
where my skin turns violet
and my lips go green,
where my eyes are holes
and I lose my teeth,
my hair's dry and won't ever grow,
my once strong flesh is now gone.
169 · Feb 2020
Someone to stay.
Carolina Feb 2020
"People come and go" they say
but I just want someone to stay.
155 · Feb 2020
Love.
Carolina Feb 2020
Every kiss you give is a stab I take.
Getting closer to beheading.
Careless and cold your touch, your hug.
I'm so tired of the begging.
152 · May 2020
Spring.
Carolina May 2020
Whistling a song we wrote together
while the wind plays with my hair.
Dancing in the backyard, movements of a feather,
buzzing bees and colorful spring weather.
152 · Feb 2020
Going to sleep.
Carolina Feb 2020
Going to bed with a kiss to give.
But instead of a warm embrace that puts me to sleep
all I get is a weep that weighs on my lids.
151 · Sep 2020
Not even here.
Carolina Sep 2020
Never there,
absent mind, empty eyes.
I try to reach out
but you have no sight.
Your drooling stare,
fixed on the screen,
my voice is on mute to your ears.
I'm not even here.
143 · Nov 2020
Untitled
Carolina Nov 2020
Still here
even though I left months ago.
I'm absent
but my conscience overflows.
139 · Feb 2020
Only in my head.
Carolina Feb 2020
All the poetry inside of me
burns down to nothing,
just like the love I felt,
just like the dreamed I dreamed.

Once again I have failed,
I have reached a dead end,
love is only in my head.
138 · Apr 2020
Headed to nowhere.
Carolina Apr 2020
The sanity slipped right through my eyes.
My heart was torn apart
and life ended by that time.

Now I'm a living dead.
Walking with a blank stare,
headed to nowhere.
128 · Jul 2020
The one who loves the most.
Carolina Jul 2020
Drained from love,
drained from desire.
My heart has lost its fire.
I came in one piece
and left as a ghost.
I'm always the one
who loves the most.
127 · Sep 2020
Try to hunt me.
Carolina Sep 2020
Did you really thought
I'd be the deer for you to hunt?
I'm the roaring lion
that'll rip your beating heart out.
125 · Apr 2020
To find a place.
Carolina Apr 2020
No need to eat.
No need to sleep.
My body's kicking me out of it.
Can my soul find a place?
Will it wander lost for ever?
106 · Jan 2020
Untitled
Carolina Jan 2020
Wasted time,
wasted youth.
Was this the path I had to go through?
103 · Jan 2020
Places.
Carolina Jan 2020
I touched the wood of the door,
slipped my fingertips through it.
It opened without being knocked,
I doubted, I looked, I'm in.

— The End —