That
feeling
that
is
much
much
greater
than
ten
words.

I try not to worry
her
So much that sometimes
I answer
I’m fine
before
Hello
when she calls
because I know to her
I’m still more bone than
skin
I’m an empty bottle of
pills
One breath away from non
existence
A blood stain she scrubbed
with her tears
I’ve already worried years
off of her life
while trying to end
my own
So when she phones to
to check on me
I’ll always be fine
no matter what is
going on in my life
and sometimes before
Hello

I am the moon

lofty in darkness, mysterious.

Tell me all your dreams,

dance with me.

You are the sun

bright and warm, cheery.

Let me smile with closed eyes,

bask in you.

A world away

people and places, things.

I see you often,

in the dawn of light.

I thought I loved you

but I am tied to earth

and earth

is tied to you.

You’re telling a story of a recent holiday
It reminds me of a funny joke I know about a panda with a penchant for French bread
I launch into it, enjoying your company, engaged in the action
But midway through speaking I stop
-
The scorpion that just appeared on the table is huge
Poison-filled tail arched over its back
It opens its mouth, revealing three rows of teeth
And prepares itself to strike your hand
I want to yell out but I’m frozen in dread
You seem more concerned about me than yourself
No, not concerned – confused
Can’t you see it, the creature right there on the
On the–
-
It’s gone, like the others have before
Back to the secret place in my brain
I know they’re not real
Or, I know they’re not real until I see them again
-
I try to return to the joke I had started but now you’re distracted
You make your excuses – not bad ones, I’ve had worse – and leave
Leave me to the voice of The Reminder
Who tells me once more that they’re coming to get me
They’ve not caught me yet but it won’t take them long

did not know her when she was miniskirts and high heels,
before she converted to the one true religion of
poetry & yoga

some stray dog thots raveling in a pack
cross the not-even-6am brain that alternates tween
new day Adam apple crumb crisp and
distracting lascivious Eve ones

I,
would have loved you same back then,
no different than now

I,
write in different styles
under so many pseudonyms,
but it is the same man

I,
who crawls into bed nightly with
great expectations and a list of salutations
to wake you up and commence writing how

I,
love your poetic yoga-toned long legs
snaking between mine
while I imagine them in miniskirts and high heels
which is a long way round of saying

You,
alone, my darling forever young one,
are my
one true religion...

I can see it in her eyes
when she comes creeping in.
She's been somewhere she promised me
she'd never go again.
She thinks that I won't know it.
She thinks that I can't tell.
She forgets how many times
she's put us through this hell.   
She's sitting right beside me,
but She's not really there.
There mothers slowly dying,
Killing herself without a care.

i can almost feel you trying to erase me, but i promise you that this ink is permanent, and we had pressed too hard with the pen that we wrote our story with,
and no matter how many pages you tear out of your notebook,
my impressions will still be there.