I dislike my father
I say this after careful reflection and study of him throughout the years
interactions that are vapid and entirely forced that when he asks, “how are you doing?” feels more like an insult rather than a greeting because it’s me that always does the calling and it’s always been that way, getting short changed because the guy just doesn’t know how to reach out unless he wants something and till this day he still half assess it, so I don’t call or bother any more

It stood in front of me just inches away.
At first, it was a fawn and then a Stag.
I was frozen with fear and thought its antlers would tear open my chest to rip my heart out (that was the thought)
My eyes were never more open but all it wanted to do was to smell me and get a sense of who and what I was at core so I extended my hand and allowed it to smell me.
It lowered its head and covered its antlers with fresh grass before walking away and then turning into a lion cub

caring too much can rob you of your fidelity and bleed you dry if you’re a true lover at heart

Keep still against the cold,
Away from speech and the thousand silhouettes that drown the light and take you
Run towards silence,
Where desire in breath awaits
coiled in body beyond what mind can fathom to what is Nameless