I'd give you my heart
If I could
Only remember
The combination
To the locks
And where
It's buried
Maybe I'll find
The map
Or a guide
I'd give you my heart
If I could
Only dream
Up the day
I could
Trust someone
Like you

I'm dreaming        
                        Fine but
                          All my
                    thoughts are
                       Thread
                           Bare
                            In a
                           Hope
                           That
               Can be          Seen as
       Nothing                  or as everything
          Left                    in a life
              Like this    One
                   Hanging
                       Like
                         A      
                    Noose

Recently I've discovered that one of my peons was posted on tumblr without my permission. Although they did list my name as the writer I am upset about this and I don't know what to do. It is the first poem I posted, which is called Knighted Fools, and I don't know if they have done this to others. I'm going to list some that I find on this person's blog. Their blog is called  lil-blog-of-poetry
List of poems on there (again I don't know if they have been taken from this website or somewhere else. I also have not been able to reach the writer of this tumblr blog)
Possible Princess by Chelsea
New Year's  (Haiku #7) by Brittle Bird

Wanderer
Explorer you are
Over and over
In a desperate search for a sleep forever
Keeping quiet about the
Poison in your veins
And the graceless pain
Clawing up you like
Souls reaching for their heaven
Elegancy has never looked so forced
Cry all that you want
It will do none
Or shall live continue?
Wanderer
Where do you explore
This world or
A place a few stars over

There's 52 cards in a deck
One hundred and four in two
We play BS and poker
Cribbage and black jack
We play games with no name
There's one we all play
It's the game of life
Taking one day at a time
There's no skipping turns
Some will fold forever
But we all have to keep playing
We will sometimes teach others
A strategy or two
New players are always welcome
Sometimes we bet too much
Often we miss our big break
Because of insecurities and fear
Sometimes I fold the good hand
To help a friend
Not that they will ever know
I don't have many chips left
But that's okay
Because my last wish is
Only that my fellow player keep
Playing
I like playing cards
With my friends
I've gotten good at a game
Called S-heads
I win some and I lose some
But I never give in
Playing cards
How could anyone relate it to life
They are not the same
When I fold for the last time
I'll give you my hand
Of cards
Hidden in my sleeves

This would be poetic
I'm sure if I actually meant something
Sometimes even I don't know
What this is about
Or maybe I do know
I write and write
The first two lines
And go no farther
A secret smile in the dark
The patterns in my eyes standout to you
No.
That's not right
It's midnight
How cliché
A dreamer closes her eyes......
Let me guess, for the last time?
War torn valleys color red
With hate and disgust
A blood haze in the eyes
Of everything living
Your fight against me?
Only light was distant like the stars
The stars cowered behind the form of
The dark masses of clouds
Just like the light in you
Hides from the black in your soul
How original
This is hopeless
No, it's not
Why?
Because you're still writing
Aren't you suppose to be my writer's block
I am
Oh never mind
Why can't I put these ideas into words?
You have many questions
I'll answer one
*Because you're ideas are not fully formed

Poetry
Pen in hand
Sheet of paper
Words in mind
But no inspiration
Forget basic sentence structure
Because of free verse
But is it really
Poetry
There is no
Rhyme scheme
No beat
Only clever words
Constructed
This way
There is always a part
of me
That wonders
Do they get it
Do I need to write this
No
I don't need to
And that's why
Just another line
A few more clever words
That hide
My second meaning
Poetry
A secret love
Of mine
I will always
Find a time
to write you
And dream
of the day
Someone will see
You and me
As more than
a girl with a pen
That scribbles out a line
Or two
Or the one who
Always has extra
Notebook paper
Because I
Never know
what will catch
My attention
And steal away
to your words
And you
To be more than
a dreaded part
of high school English
But you
Are patient
Even when you are
A dying great
But you live happily
In my heart

I'll be there
Out where the dreams come out
I'll be there
Where the mist lies low
And the dew drops hide the moon's glow
I'll be there
Tuck between the places
Where love left deeper wounds
Than fear hardened  faces
Battered by soul suckling sand dunes
I'll be there
Promised everything
But always gained nothing
I'll be where
Fragility is beauty
A place I bet lacks in cruelty
Breathless, I know in despair
A place blind of what is fair
Drenched in the heavy slur
But no more than what it can appear
Past that , you must endure
To the place I explore
I will be there
But if you must ,please ignore
The grandeur

Tell me
Your woes
Tell me
Of your lows
Tell me
Of your happiest time
Tell me
Of when you met him
Or her
Tell me
Your fears
Tell me
Your ambiguity of thoughts
Tell me
I won't tell
Tell me
Your burdens
I will bear them too
Tell me
Of your hopes
Tell me
Of your dreams
I won't share your secrets
Tell me
Your doubts about him
Or her
Tell me
I promise you
I'll say nothing
Tell me
Of your marriage
As if falls apart
Tell me
Of when you felt lost
Tell me
But you never listen
Because I'm going now
I sent you a letter
It explains why
I'm leaving
for a better place
And at the bottom
After my name
It will say
P.S. Listen to someone else for a change
Your other left because
of this
Please don't be mad but
P.S.S. I don't care anymore

If I had time
Before the tears
That arrive
Every forth or fifth hour
My thoughts
Would be clearer
My mind
Happier
Place to live
less ideas
of horrors
And more
Of wonder
If I had time
Before the tears
Gather to fall
                   Like
                                  A
                                         Mist
                                                     Into
                                                                  Rain

A thousand versions of the truth
Many days of second guessing
Several hours of questions
That go unanswered
Unending nights
Alone
When words
Really hurt me
When betrayer was trusted
Nightmares infest everything that is
The darkness creeps in to destroy
And taint the life and light death
I can only believe in what I perceive
As my reality
But can I always believe it

The world is flipped
With odd angles
And strange curves
It has a bit too much
Or maybe it's not enough
Words invert
Shapes mutilate
Atoms overreact
Emotions are switched
Truths are lies
Happiness is an emotional overload
Stress builds up
When's the combustion point?
When does it all become
Too much
Or maybe not enough
When do the tears flow up
When do our smiles shatter
Like glass
When does time end
In a distorted reality
When does time flow
Backwards
Or is it sideways
Odd thoughts become more
Abundant
Your view tilted
40° to the left
Body shifted 32°
To the right
When does end
Where is the clarity
Like putting on glasses
For the first time
Everything snaps into
Focus
Is that my reality?

If roses were love notes
There'd be so
Many half grown
They'd be tucked
away from you
How many have
Yet to grow
I may never know
And you
You will never see
For my shy secret
Will grow
Into that budding rose
If love notes were roses
They'd be my book marks
With half written
Reasons why
If roses were love notes
Pedals scattered
throughout my room
Cleverly hidden
Away in the book
I want you to read
But you never will
If roses were love notes
If they were. ......................

Your fur is matted
Your not as big as I thought
Your tags are marred by my name
In a effort to make you mine
You hold so many memories
The good
The bad
The sad
The happy
Your plastic eyes
While scratched
Will always see me
Clearly
I must confess
The only reason
All the others
Were named same as you
Is because none of them
Would be better than you
As a child
You seemed so big in my arms
Something to hold
To hug
I'm sorry about
that time I was
Convinced that I was
A hair stylist
And found some Form
Of cutting tool
There's a connection between us
Even if you are a
Stuffed animal
A horse
You'll always be
In a place in my
Heart

How can you think of them as
Inhuman?
Of having more relation to
Animals?
As being a
Commodity to life?
Less than?
Monsters
have more restraint
Oppress
Control
Rule
******?
Do we not all have
two ears
two eyes
A four chambered heart
That beats fast
With affections?
Do we not all have
One mouth
One brain
In which we take in
The world?
Stitched together with
Every senseless moment
Of hate
Of pain
Of our cruel actions
Is there any good?

Maybe.............

Maybe........ not............

WHY IS LIFE SO SENSELESS?

Where is logical thought?
The rational?
The compassion?
Where are the good people?
What is a life worth?

.............sometimes.............
.........the thought ...............
......comes to me.................
.........why?............................
...­.why does it?...................
..........................................­....

*In the end how much of me remains?

I need something to rage with me
Something ugly
In perfect hate
to relieve the stress
to bring me down from that level
From those who brought me there
Those who don't try
Who don't care
I'd rather die
Than admit I'd cry
Far too much
Something I need
so I don't snap
and be another statistic
I just can't take it
give me the screams and yells
of justified violence and
Unplanned lives that
Need a little more
I can't anymore
I just can't

Once upon a time. .....
In a galaxy far far far away. ........
I had this dream about. ........
In a Kingdom. .........
On a night like this one. .. .........
Years ago......
Last week. .......
Just past the first star.........
Through the rainbow. ..........
Down the street is where. ............
On the road between. .........
In that book............
There are so many beginnings
To the stories you tell
I have yet to hear
One that is true
But I'll listen anyway
Because they're entertaining
But not believable
I'll see you tomorrow
Storyteller

Inspiration
Strike me
Like the lighting
That hit
the house
Down the street
Set my mind
A light
A fire within
Illuminate
Every dark corner
of procrastination
And excess ideas
But leave
My dreams
Where they belong
Inspiration
Strike me
Like that song
That help
me write
Before
That epic
One page down
Five more for
Chapter one
Given time
Inspiration
Strike me
For I need you
More than
Three months
A year

A blue green marble
Suspended in black
Darkness
Enfolding the
Blue green
Though the
Darkness
Surrounds it
It does not
Compare to
the darkness
Within
Just below
the surface
Of the clouds
A race
Of evolved
Animals
That think
They've come so far
But hasn't really
Your seven deadly
And three deciding
Control over their
Power and hearts
Innocence
Never lasts long
Of twists and
Of harsh words
Their minds
Are easily
Bent our of shape
Born different
Wired unusually
Acts out
Strange behavior
Mad
Crazy
Genius
Insane
Labels they call
Those who are
                                 Different
There's a darkness
That surrounds that
World
But on it
Are more
Horrors than
What surrounds it

I carry a broken compass
It's a store bought thing
It's been dropped so many times
When compared it points the wrong way
Always pointing south
When north is the other way
Now though the needle doesn't move
I've gotten lost a few times
But I have found my way
Somebody bought me a necklace
It's a pendant
It's a compass rose
Show me the way
Through this hell
It's sterling silver
For protect
Came with the words
'To help you find your way
May your journey
Give way to the adventure
Of never dying '
Odd way to put it
I carry a broken compass
Maybe it will point
Me to the end

With a smile curving your lips
Like a drawn up scowl
And a bomb strapped to your chest
A gun in your back pocket
A list in your head
Of names
And of faces
You never looked back
Only the good will be spared
All the doors are locked
There's only one way in
Only one way out
It's all a beginning
It's all an ending
Your music blasts
Such the sentiment
Of a world unlike ours
make evil go away
Now or never
Walk away please
A man in a black suit
Stares in the reflection next to you
He whispers the words
Another day
Another day
Walk away
The Devil Takes Care of His Own
.
.
.
.
That school burn. Everyone but five or six got out alive. He takes care of his own and the only ones who will ever know. Are you, me,and him.

These are sentences
These are words
These are letters
These are strange shapes
These are lines and dashes
These are nothing
They hold no meaning
Without our understanding
There is an enormity  
To this nothing
You can find
This nothing
Everywhere
In the streets
In the clouds
On the food you eat
In the air
It's on our skin
And sometimes it is
Even on our bones
There is an enormity
To this nothing
A tool for
creating
For living
For everything
These are nothing
These are lines and dashes
These are strange shapes
These are letters
These are words
These are sentences
And that is everything

There's nothing
No ideas
No inspiration
No words
No mood music
There's nothing
No theories
No hypothesis
No hope
No tunes
There's nothing
No stuck in my head
No us
No close friends
No wishes
There's nothing
No dancing
No more
No dreams
No more stars
There's nothing
No hero's
No bad guys
No evil
No good
There's nothing
No drumbeat hearts
No ruby red blood
No storytelling flesh
No soft smiles
There's nothing
No pictures
No memories
No conversations
No there's nothing
No rocks below
No air above
No life near here
No tears in my eyes
There's nothing
Only
Maybe
There
is  
Something


        No        No
  No       No      No
      No           No
               No

No
There's
**Nothing

A curious confection
Of mystery and death
Of hated perfection
And reasonable breath
Of nightmarish lines and finds
Of aching bones
And too many land mines
A horridous groan
Of every reasonable thought
That is slipped from your grasp
A life that ought to be wrought
And ends with short gasp
Taking care to not ruffle the feathers
Of the divine
Or trouble the lives of your betters
Oh world would you ever be mine
It's hard to define whatever I could say
That are constructed with truths and lies
If only I could live 'till may
But oh how my time flies
A sweet sorrowful fairwell
To my past to ever last
And to the future pray tell
I hope I go fast

I've always wondered
Why cats hate water
An instinct maybe?
A fear of what could **** you
Seems reasonable to me
But then should I fear the air I breathe?
Or am I too Terrified to even
Sleep?
Afraid of what lurks in
My head.
Everything I push far away
In that little corner.
Where they plot
And devise
the very best way to
Open up my eyes?
Every fear has a part
in this play.
Even lowly fear of death
Who I am on speaking terms.
Embarrassment likes to be a needed
Secondary character,
who dies in the end.
Fire likes to leave everyone
Burned, but alive with no where to turn.
Loneliness no doubt likes the
Background set up
And me front and center with
Anxiety whispering in my ear
Line after line of stumbling
Nervous lies that everyone
Sees, no doubt
The lights are bright
And the stage seems to be a hundred feet
Off the ground
My knees quiver and my body shakes
As water rises and chokes me
My friends just above the surface
that I scrabble towards.
why is no one
doing anything?
I-i c-can't br-breathe
Help me











No one's coming though
I haven't said all my lines.
Or maybe I wasn't meant to finish
It's funny though,
The one thing that I don't fear
Is Pain
It's funny because my body
Always hurts
I love cats
How they're graceful
How they're always distracted
How they're so loving to their human
And I'd say water as a biggest fear
Then life must be sweet  
Or slow as honey
Perhaps it really is a
Lovely way to go

I think the greatest story
I have ever read
was based on the line
that heroes always win
but then it begged the question
what if the hero
had a slightly darker backstory
when he didn't believe
the words that were
supposed to give him confidence
and courage
And hope
and he gave in
to what ended
the Superhero story
before it even began
But despite all the heartbreak
I still love the story
I think it's greatest line was
they did not win
the hero did not get the girl
the hero did not save the day
the villain won
the world was doomed
to a Fate that we know
that was never told
Only envisioned
In our worst nightmare
They Did not win
the greatest story
I've ever read
begin with the line
heroes always win

I don't know why
Maybe so you'd like me
Only one side of me
I fear you getting to know
That side
The one that talks
Of death
Way too often
That is rude
Because that's affection
This is hell
Because you believe me
To be a static character
I feel so two faced
You get confused at
My jokes
Like
every salad is a Caesar salad if you stab it enough
That's funny
you want to know me
From so many miles
Away
Well then
Your questions aren't enough
My humor is sometimes
Dark and *****
My explanation are
Too long winded
I don't believe in your god
My imagination is
Dark and goes too far
So do my ideas
I'm scared
And I like to be alone
When my emotions
Close in
That's only part of me
The one you don't see
Dark and depraved
Are the stories
I write
Following the sometimes
Worst case situations
Maybe you've see
And I'm sorry to say this
But
You're kind of gullible
Like Brutus
The fool
I feel so two faced
What do I do?

At times I find it hard to believe
That other lives
Continue on
I know that they do
But some feel only real as they are in
That moment
Then simple fade away
To nonexistance
Others flutter by with hints to
What and how they live
But still
I'm unsure of their physicality
Other times I am unsure of
My reality
Sometimes  it's like
I am just quietly watching
It go on doing what
I should be
Now I'm just
Watching
Waiting

Tomorrow
I
Live
Life

Iridescent

Dreams have
Inexplicable
Explanations

In describe able  (I can't spell it! Help? )

Will
Inscribed
In my bones
Like scars
Luminescent darkness

Love
Is a
Volatile
Experiment

Hardest part of
A day it the
Part in which you remember the
Past and say to
Yourself that your okay

I like this place
because I can be
Not behind
A mask
I know
that some don't
See
The world in me
Where life
is grey
But
Oh so interesting
Of colors only I can see
The nightmare corner
Isn't so scary
When my friends
Talk of
Death
****** plots
Anime
And......
Oh whatever else
I can discover
All that is hidden
from my everyday life
I have been
Disillusioned
In your worth
Internet
I know
that it is not any fault of yours
But you are forever
And I must blame
Something
If I do not know
Those who have hurt me

Armed with ink and lead
Or is it grafite
I don't know, I am dead
Oh look dynamite
Explodes the words in my head
let's fight
Though there is no need
To Die
Or spill blood of the not dead
Though it's wrought of badly worded light
like this you'd read

It flows through the air
Unabated by the time of the past
It whispers if you dare
To listen, but in its place
A dreaded affair
The flag at half mast
A soldier at heart, in evil's lair
Run in a haste
Because your mind is a lier
Life goes fast
So you better love it while it lasts
Because only seven things will
Never lie

I'm building a monster
Stitched together with every
Perceived slight



If you want to be happy
Don't create the nightmare
From your head

Counting stars
And wishing for sheep
Is how I know I exist
So I cry out to the universe
"Please, I must exist"
Pleading, begging
As the flood waters rise
As green as an evergreens
Dancing in the skies
And I know the only answer
I shall ever get
Is the single remark
From the empty, nothingness
And it is all of no consequence

It's a crowded place
Up here
In my mind
The radio is always on
A voice of self-hatred
Takes root in my head
A soft glow of joy
Cowers behind self-preservation
it's dark in my imagination

Some of the best words
Will never be said
Stopping just shy of escaping
My lips, sealed by anxiety
A much needed comment
Or a philosophical thought
A dying need to express
Confined in a hesitant glance
Restricted by half smiles and frowns
The pinch between my eyes
Conveys the questioning side
Torn up lips define only
A brave protester self silenced
The dusting of a blush asks
Only what it could be
Shinning eyes glimpse only
Shy of everything that is meaningful
Chipped and uneven nails
Speak to every single secret
And stripped scars
Tell everything and nothing
About that body

I've met death
We've conversed
Talked of life
His sister
He complained
Of being seen as evil
Not a just being
The weight is baring him down
I can plainly see it
Your stress has to go some where
He can bear it
Or turn it unto us
The entirety of the human race
A balance of power
so thrown off
So give me a little
I beg
He will not
I have a plan
To call out life
Send for misfortune
And luck
Split the burden
Apart
So yes I've met
Death
Life
Good luck
to those who live
And those who are dead
You'll need it

What if no one knew you
What if no one loved you
What if no one hated you
If no one said hello
If no one says goodbye
If there was no conversations with you
No one cries over you
No one picked you
No one looked at you and smiled
No yesterday
No today
No tomorrow
What if no one saw through the mask
What if no one caught your tears
What if there was no escape
What if you were just a ghost
If death made more sense than life
If high school was more knowing
If friends were there
If broken things were easier to repair
No one knows, on this side of things
No one will understand you
No one feels like you do
No one in the world was muffled with you
No life in the shadows
No hope in the eyes of the many
No mid morning sun
What if is always a possibility but
Just wait until it becomes reality

The chill seeped in my bones
Cold numbed the bared skin
Of my face and hands
Thin black cloth
Wraps around me
With strikes of color
I am not warm
I am not cold
With twin blades
Beneath my feet
My center of gravity
Shifted
But that's okay
I can still be
I move forward
Gliding across
the ice
The danger
The thrill
I love the elegance
of the sport
This is where I breathe

Who I could be
Could be Anyone
Could be me
No
I could be anything
A hero
Or a villain
That could be fun
Could be a writer
Or maybe somebody
Famous
Could be anything
Or anyone                                   _
Death to some                          /  |   |    \
Life to others                          /    |   |      \
A ruler of them                          \      //
Or a silent protector                   \   //
I could be                                    《 O》
I could be                                        ||
          I                                           《《
                Could
                                Be
Ordinary
I could have
The best
The worst
of everything.   /_/_/_/_/__/_
I could be
An end
Or an
Beginning
Who I am
Is who I
Will always be

There's little evidence of this
The time before
When words meant
Nothing more than
Their everyday meaning
When there were no stories
No ill named characters
No half constructed worlds
When the words
A picture paints a thousand words,
Write them
Meant little more than
An impossible task
Now a simple challenge of
Picking the right words
Tear stains on old notebooks
One character unnamed
Pencils with broken lead
Erasers rubbed thin
Doodles instead of lines
Sketches of their faces
Never just right

Do you remember
The days we spent
Together in September
And all that it meant
and in this solitary moment
Makes me miss you
Makes me forget I'm not broken
I'll take every second or an hour or two
I'm waiting for your call
Just like when we would meet
I'm waiting for your call
It's on replay just like when we would meet
I'm waiting for your call
Butterfly
It's your call
My early summer
Your call

I wish I could
See the smile on
Your face
Your confusion
To our scrambled
Text messages
I wish you could
See how
I fight to
Hide my smile
At every charming
Thing you do
Or at least
See the blush
You cause
And I wish
That I could see
The same on you
Your eyes are blue
Right?
Mine are too
***** blonde hair
Right?
Mine is that yellow blonde
When we met
You wore silver glasses
I didn't at the time
Now I have
A copper color glasses
We met on ice
The chilled air
Did not reach us
It's almost been a year
Since I've seen
Your face
Heard your voice
Since I've
Held your hand
In mine
I know that
You will
Never
Read this poem
But that's okay
Because we've
Never stopped
Texting

Is that what you really look like?
Your defining features
A bit of blush?
Yes, hide yourself behind those
Thick frames.
Why is your hair dark?
You're a blonde aren't you?
Go brush your yellowed teeth
Why do you still have pimples
Shouldn't you have figured that out already?

mirror, mirror
on the wall
**who's the stupidest of them all?