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Courtney Gaura Apr 2018
As far as subtle beginnings go
It's not how I got to know
As far as sweet, easy moments go
And as far as epic declarations went
I only saw kind words and companionship
I wish they could have told
in vent
in rant
Called me out
I wish I could have saw before
I wish many things
Most of all
I wish I got to know
Before our fall
So I'd already know
To say before his last
I know now
And I'll say it now
I love you too
Hmmm, I've been gone a while.
Many things have changed
Courtney Gaura Nov 2016
At times I find it hard to believe
That other lives
Continue on
I know that they do
But some feel only real as they are in
That moment
Then simple fade away
To nonexistance
Others flutter by with hints to
What and how they live
But still
I'm unsure of their physicality
Other times I am unsure of
My reality
Sometimes  it's like
I am just quietly watching
It go on doing what
I should be
Now I'm just
Courtney Gaura Sep 2016
I'll be there
Out where the dreams come out
I'll be there
Where the mist lies low
And the dew drops hide the moon's glow
I'll be there
Tuck between the places
Where love left deeper wounds
Than fear hardened  faces
Battered by soul suckling sand dunes
I'll be there
Promised everything
But always gained nothing
I'll be where
Fragility is beauty
A place I bet lacks in cruelty
Breathless, I know in despair
A place blind of what is fair
Drenched in the heavy slur
But no more than what it can appear
Past that , you must endure
To the place I explore
I will be there
But if you must ,please ignore
The grandeur
Courtney Gaura Jun 2016
Kp why oh why me
Haven't I had enough ?
Misunderstood in laguage
Stutter much?
Only last year could I look others in the eyes
But not so much with age
Making excuses and lies
It lies on my skin
Like you
Ridged and red it had been
I like my friends I do
But it's not like they'll ever ask again
The wounds too deep
Too visible
Crawling across my skin
Help is often oh so reliable
If only I knew where to begin
Peal it back and the brighter it gets
The harder it is the defend
Against these thoughts it fits
That my insecurities are so ever viable
When they strech across me
Kp why oh why me
Courtney Gaura Jun 2016
Counting stars
And wishing for sheep
Is how I know I exist
So I cry out to the universe
"Please, I must exist"
Pleading, begging
As the flood waters rise
As green as an evergreens
Dancing in the skies
And I know the only answer
I shall ever get
Is the single remark
From the empty, nothingness
And it is all of no consequence
Courtney Gaura May 2016
Explorer you are
Over and over
In a desperate search for a sleep forever
Keeping quiet about the
Poison in your veins
And the graceless pain
Clawing up you like
Souls reaching for their heaven
Elegancy has never looked so forced
Cry all that you want
It will do none
Or shall live continue?
Where do you explore
This world or
A place a few stars over
All my poetry is copyrighted!
Courtney Gaura May 2016
Be careful of the monsters
They definitely want you dead
Be careful of the monsters
They know everything  you've ever said
Be careful of the monsters
They whisper in your head
Be careful of the monsters
They seen where you've tread
Be careful of the monsters
Because when your finally dead
They'll go after your best friend instead
Be careful of the monsters
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