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Ayn Mar 2020
Why
Do
I
Enjoy
Yuri
Manga
So
Much
These
Days
If you know, you know. If you don’t, ignore this.

**** manga is good too.
Ayn Feb 2020
Thoughts
Written
From the heart
To another
Will create a route
From zip code to zip code,
And from address to address,

Until the destination
Receives the envelope,
Opens the packet,
Views the letter,
Reads thoughts, and
Translates
Love
Ok, so here is a lesson on IT. There’s a networking transmission model called the OSI model. It has seven layers on either side of a communication. Here they are:

1. Application (creates data to send)
2. Presentation (translates data into sendable data)
3. Session (establishes and terminates communication sessions)
4. Transport (identifies what is being transported (how to handle it))
5. Network (creates a path across networks)
6. Data link (creates a path across the local network)
7. Physical (cables and stuff)

That’s the sending end. The receiving end is the inverse. I formatted each line to each process in the layer, and used the layer number to define how many syllables in the corresponding line. I honestly find IT networking communications a really intriguing subject. The best way to explain the OSI model is by using the mail system and letters as an example.
Ayn Feb 2020
That’s where I was.
My mind thought of awful ****,
And my blood gave up it’s viscous sins.

Soon I my mind thought no longer of ****,
Rather a mire of endless proportions,
And equal emotions.
Ayn Feb 2020
Under the stars,
two souls become one.
Some may say
that they were star-crossed,
but I say that the stars
ran in tender parallel.

There are innumerable lines in the sky;
you may see a line cutting their fate,
but I see the lines running side by side,
and know that a red thread stitched this date.
Not about the action of "becoming one" more about a confession between two lovers who were oblivious to the other's feelings. You know, Romeo and Juliet is not really a tragedy, they got to meet each other in hell.
Ayn Jan 2020
I’m no longer a little pup.
In all aspects, I’ve grown up.
Self reliance is not a right to me.
It’s a requirement, what I have to be.
I am largely independent. I hate relying on people or even things. One of my pet peeves is when people assume I can’t do something on my own.
Ayn Dec 2020
No rest for tired eyes.
They quake like a hatching egg,
As they reach their closure.

Through continued exposure,
The light begins to sting;
Needles in my veins,
Making shattered window panes.

Where’d the glass go?
If you’ve read my previous poetry I reference glass as an immaculate barrier. If not, no worries because I explained what was necessary.
Ayn Feb 2020
My face is but
A vicariously vibrant visage of life,
In which I see the world
Through a shield of silent subterfuge;
A void that covers my vibrance.

A faceless watch
Cannot give the time.
A faceless person
Cannot see eye-to-eye.
I’m kind of a bad person. I wanted to try using a photo of me as my pfp but could not. I hide under this mask to protect myself from what? Harmless people. Honestly, Adrian isn’t even my name, it’s just a pen name. I’m Aidan, nice to meet you.
Ayn Jan 2020
Sometimes the end
Is oh so far away
Beyond earth’s bend
Lying among the starts

But sometimes,
You are facing the light.
You just have to let it all
Fade to white.
I thank you for your time.
Ayn Mar 2020
Reigning down upon my body
Like an emotionless hammer,
Swinging hard and fast,
Leaving nothing untouched,
Leaving my love to be amassed.
The title has nothing to do with the poem, just the song I was listening to (“Faith”, by Limp Bizkit).
Ayn Apr 2020
I wake up in the morning
Feeling oh so ******* fine
Wanting to carve my soul out with a knife.

Everyone sits dark and empty,
But I’m still light and so **** full of strife.

In an endless battle between my ungrateful heart and soul
I’m starting to lose sight of this god forsaken life.
Written and tuned to a happy acoustic song. I can’t sing for the life of me, but it’s done in a happy voice.
Ayn Feb 2020
I just want to cry,
I want to spit my tears upon my pillow,
and cry in my silence for the remainder
of my raven eve.

Why can't I cry?
Where is the salty mix
running down my cheeks?
Why do I feel the tears well up
even though they don't release?

My mask is broken.
the fissure ran its course,
and split my face right open.
Usually I'd be mad or frustrated in times like these, but this time I want to cry (well duh).
Ayn Jun 2020
Ashes fall
Upon crows in flight.
Cawing in
A cloaked night.

Dancing sparks;
Floating up high.
The raven’s barks;
A simmering cry.

As the ashes call the crows,
The sparks burn the ravens.
Ayn Feb 2020
With each passing motion,
I branch out farther from
The trunk of my tree.

Now the motion
Has gone to far.
A gust has blown
And now I’m snapped.
The branch fell away
And lies upon the ground.
Ayn Feb 2020
Fall into ice,
And see this world
With our new eyes.

Trust these lights
To guide your hand
Through these nights.

All in due time,
You’ll find new heights,
Because you broke ice,
And fell into life.
Needs improvement. Written on a whim.
Ayn Jun 2020
He is an *******,
But a good kind of *******.
It runs in my fam.
I abbreviated family to fam to fit the 5-7-5
Ayn Jan 2020
Stuck wide awake,
After being given
A rather rough wake up slap.
Now a red rash of fear remains,
Stinging my brain with sharp pains.
I know it’s a bit childish for a 16 Y.O., and especially one who never admits this stuff, but I’m actually really afraid rn and probably won’t sleep.
Ayn Jan 2020
The king was but livestock,
given to the next in line.
His death was a tragedy,
but another arose from it.
chaos uprooted justice,
and bit by corrupted bit,
the monarch transformed.

A demon came from the monarch,
just as a saint had come from the king.
However, since the king was ill livestock,
the monarch would drop like a rock.

Hail Macduff!
Hail the one who hath slain
a most fearsome demon!
inspired by Macbeth. I was thinking along the lines of talking about solely Duncan, and how he was just livestock to feed Macbeth's upcoming reign.
Ayn Dec 2019
Christmas time is right around the bend,
Just next week, I can no longer pretend.
My wallet is stretched thin, I’ve got none to lend.
And the stress builds up as I lose another friend.

The anxiety builds up,
block on top of shadowy block,
The tower’s ominous loom increases
As the season steadily progresses.

Oh, I remember the Christmases
So so many years ago.
When I wanted a white Christmas,
But I never got to have
A powdery blanked covering
My especially festive day.

Now I yearn.
I yearn for not the white Christmas;
The one I cared about then.
I yearn for a delightfully red Christmas.
The one that gives my arm quite the treat.
I yearn to see liquid rubies atop my wrists,
And feel the flame festively flicking my toes.

Christmas is a day of giving,
Therefore I shall give and receive,
Be the bringer of my own serenity,
And feel the flame once more.

Am I just pain’s *****?
Started writing about Christmas, zoned out somewhat, finished the poem, looked back and asked myself how I ****** up a cheery Christmas poem so much. Also, sorry if the term in the last line offends anyone.
Ayn Jan 2020
Just another fleeting instinct
That hops from one event,
One minuscule instance in this
Perpetually flowing spring of time,
To the next.
I considered renaming it The Big Picture, but then the poem’s context wouldn’t make sense. Does anyone else name their poems before writing them or am I just weird?
Ayn Oct 2020
Beauty to be found
Lies throughout the stony earth.
In the morning dew ground,
We find the life that shall be known
In all things
where the wind has been blown
Thoughts, lovely thoughts.
Ayn Dec 2019
(Dec.26.2019)

Growing numb in the icy late December,
turning a strawberry sheen and stiffening up,
like a dead body, when left unmoved.
Writing this becomes incredibly harder
with each passing stroke I make.
I bet it's impossible to read this
I go to a bench in a field where I write several poems in my notebook I got recently, so all the ones written there will have the date written above the poem.
My fingers hurt so much when I came back inside, because I can't write with gloves on.
Ayn Mar 2020
Little firebugs
Rise like dandelions,
And float like feathers
Into this nightly silence.
A poem can be short or long. As we learned from Hemingway, stories can even be as short as 6 words. All that matters is that you get your point across.
Ayn Dec 2019
Springing out of the fire with an unrivaled exuberance,
They spiral and change direction,
As if they are following their own
Delightfully deviating initiative.

They help the flaming torrent in its calming rapid beauty.
The emanating orange dots twists around the pillar.
The sparks die off, but new ones rise up in bursts.
It is a curiously renewing spectacle.

When one log falls,
Numerous fireflies fling out of the flames,
Spiraling up into the sky with an orange afterglow.
Sadly, it dies off as quickly as it was brought to life.

The sparks are a firefly;
Rather quick to die,
But beautiful to attract our gaze,
Even though the deepest haze.
One I wrote a while ago, watching a fire go at a Christmas party reminded me of it.
Ayn Mar 2020
A cloak was drawn over his shoulders,
And set aflame, flickering in the passing wind.
He grabbed his mask of flame,
And set out to take in his name.

A house was on fire,
And death needed to take those lives,
Quenching the water
That flowed from their eyes.
I tried to write.
Ayn Feb 2020
The past five days
Were not the best.
You could even say
That they were ****,
As you disgustedly spit
Into your spittoon.
But they were among
The best five days
That I’ve been blessed to live
In the five year winter.
I think the equinox is finally coming,
So I’ll start my vernal days humming.
What happened? At the turn of a dime I’m suddenly leaving the winter behind. Sure there’s still a chill of my self harm tendencies to haunt my early spring, but what happened to me?
Ayn Jul 2020
As comets fly
Splitting the sky,

Innumerable stars
Litter the beyond

A fleeting moment
Worth a million words,
Yet only so much
Can I say.
I’ve noticed that’s it’s hard to write a love poem while in a relationship. That has nothing to do with the poem. Just something I noticed.
Ayn Dec 2020
Skipping stones
Like wishing bones
Water spraying
Like stars praying.
Glimmer and flash
Into a feathery splash.
A midsummer sun
But winter’s begun,
So with the ocean I strive,
Cold and delightfully alive.
More driving, this time I skipped rocks out to an unusually calm ocean. Almost no waves at all.
Ayn Feb 2020
I just forgot her presence
Simple as that.
But when she shows herself
Into this world of mine
I can’t help but feel disgusted
At my stupidity.

All I did was shut her out.
I’m an *******.
Ayn Jan 2022
An unseen gesture,
It’s meaning left to speculation.
Our silent words drop like sunshine
Onto an amber autumn field,
Treating our long-forgotten wounds.
Treat others the way you would like to be treated. I have long ago forgiven you, but I won’t forget you. You have not forgiven, and you will not forget. What more do I have to do to set things right?
Ayn Feb 2020
Forming together
As if in a curt whisper,
The gnarled shadows
Poke and ****
At the glimmering snow.

The moonlight
Politely beckoning the wind
To provide these shadows delight.

They giggle in the nip and tickle
Of the seemingly stagnant breeze,
But they bore of its humor
As the wind’s imposing air
Dissipates with growing unconfidence.

The snow’s silky silver sheen
Is shaded by the gnarled green.
The moon’s reflectant piercing light
Prevades this stagnantly silent night.
I wish there was snow on the ground.
Ayn Dec 2019
For each step I take,
I’ll have one more step to give.
So I’ll move onwards
Someone’s probably made this connection into a poem already, but think of this in terms of life and what comes with age.
Ayn Feb 2020
Why not cement
the foundation of our world
on something as flimsy
as the petal of an iris?

Why not live a life
where we perceive
the fallacies of ourselves
above the undeniable truth.

Why not compare
every aspect of our beings
to those who stand above us.

Why should we not
just look into each other's eyes,
and smile, happy with our world?
"he had cemented the foundation of his world upon something as light as a fairy's wing." From The Great Gatsby, by Scott Fitzgerald. I think that's how the quote went.
Ayn Apr 2020
The spiders glide in night by night,
Following a trail, light by light.

On top of the webs stand the spiders,
Ready to attack all threats with lighters.

A schism of venom to fill the cracks
Of the pieces that have always fit
And a wall is lifted upon their backs;
A webbed foundation of grit.
I know it means a metalworks, but foundry also sounds like a place where foundations are made.
Ayn Jun 2020
Thawing ice
Broken glass

Falling free
Without care

Living life
Timeless times

Injuring myself on
Fragmented barriers

Shattering emotion
Destroyed by what’s lost.
Ayn Jul 2020
Swim on the river
Wade through the spiral
View the simmering color
As the surf turns visceral.

Bleed out the river
Wade through the deeds
View the glimmering color
As the red leaves the reeds
Ayn May 2020
The leaves May be a May green,
And spring May almost be out,
But to me it is still March,
And April May never come.

May-be it will be March
Until I get back in August.
May-be March won’t ever end.
;) so that means in all of March I’ve been rejected 3 times, one of which I probably shouldn’t count.

Also I just realized that I have 72 followers. Thank you, you amazing 72 people! (I thought I still had 49)
Ayn Feb 2020
Silent eyes
Words unspoken
Verses written
Apologies given

Losing voice
Minds refraining
Old moon’s waning
A soul’s new painting

Verbal life
Lines on run
Vocal chords sung
And a world undone

In our poetry it’s hidden
The questions we are asking
And answers I’ve never won
Meant to be a poem about how I pose some questions in my poetry and that these questions are ones I fear to vocalize. I might’ve missed my target, who knows besides all of you folks.
Ayn Feb 2020
Silently bearing its teeth,
My emotions pounce onto me.
Nothing’s to happen,
But the morrow is unnerving.
My mind sprouts fantasies
Like the spring grows dandelions.
Soon the flowers change
And I’ll whisp away with the wind.
Soon the bees will come
And sting my body numb.
Ugh, my mind outruns my rational thought every time. I reflect on how she was nice to me today, but she’s just nice, and I thought I didn’t like her like this anymore.
Gay
Ayn Apr 2020
Gay
It used to mean happy

But what is it now?

A homosexual slur.
Ayn Apr 2020
Why do we insist
To wear a plastic visage
Even in front of that one person
Who’s eyes are the daggers
That crack the defenseless mask
And reveal the real you.
There’s always that one person.
Ayn Feb 2020
The first seven words
Of seven thousand;

Will
Love
Life
Mind
Time
Pain
Blood

Give one a small generalization
Of what this boy writes.
When there’s a will, There’s a way. I really want to keep the word love off of the top of the list though. I am in belief that I will do it.
Ayn Apr 2020
At night I sit and stare,
wandering through my empty mind.
Every somber path I take
will always merge back to one,
and I'll arrive yet again
at the same old question;
when will the spirits of those I hurt
stop haunting my fruitless thoughts?
Ayn Nov 2019
I give thanks to all around me.
Animate or not, it all served a purpose
A purpose that allowed me to rise
To who I am now.

I rose out of depression,
Out of a need for death,
Out of a cycle of seething hatred

Into forgiveness.

Into love.

Into life.
Thanksgiving, might as well give thanks! So thanks for reading!
Ayn Aug 2021
On the other side,
you draw your life
Into its drowning existence.
You’re wielding a failed red thread,
Hoping the needle is sharp enough
To run your troubles through.

I watch in fear and worry,
As you become a stumbling mess.
This wall of glass
shattering into my veins
Whenever i make that first step.

I can’t remove what you’ve built.
I’m afraid of what you’ll do.
I’m sorry. It’s my fault you’re this way. Nothing can repay a ruined life besides another. I wish you a wonderful life, Aasiyah. I hope I’m less of a villain in the next one. I’m being truthful here, I know you never want to see me again and I’m not sure if you’ll read this, but I’m sorry for all my lies, my ****, my lust. I know i was the one who came out unscathed. Unfair, right? I’ll make it fair. Don’t expect to hear from me again.
Ayn Oct 2021
Within a single moment
An overflow of deterioration
Causes time to stop and ponder;
A single instance in time
where all that exists is inverted
and silence finally reigns once more.
"Just listen to the noises / Null and void instead of voices"
from 'Through Glass' by Stone Sour
Ayn Feb 2020
Digging a hole
As I’ve always done.
But sweat, tears, and blood,
Corroded an abyss of mud.
If you want a hold dug,
Grab a shovel.
If you’ve dug too far,
Grab a pen.
I’ll be fine. And even if I’m not, there are sharp metal sticks of fun, that will make me fine.

My great grandmother, one I never met, used to say “If you want a hole dug, grab a shovel!“ which means if you have a dream, work towards it.
Ayn Jan 2020
There’s a helping hand
That holds me back
From doing what I desire...

Like asking for help.
Oh god, it is all too many times where I’ve stopped myself from doing stuff... things even as simple as saying hi to anyone.
Ayn Jan 2020
A single grain of salt
divided the ocean,
creating a rift
for the convoy of change
to triumphantly march,
and once again unite the ocean
in it's revolutionizing wake.
ugh, I don't like that title, but it's the best I could think of.
Ayn Apr 2020
Swimming fields of grass
Set to lay in the setting sun.

The day shall soon pass,
Yet the night has just begun!
A little lighthearted poem from my heavyhearted mind.
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