It is stressful to be alive
To work eight till five
Hoping that you might be granted more time
Contemplation sets with the sun
And keeps you up at night

Yet once you have free time
All you can think about is why
Compulsions start to kick in
The crooked floorboards annoy you
You remembered your neighbors had drums
And about that friend who ignored you

More thinking arises
And then in a glimpse of your eye
Something beautiful is spotted

You take a closer look through your window
And see a bird in the sky

The sound of chirping soon to hush
As evening falls to a lonely dusk
Buzzing sounds only left to stay
Trees slowly waver as the sun slips away
The air is still
As if there is no feeling
Only me in this moment
I can finally start breathing

Is that all I was worth?
A note
Some words
Ink on a ripped-out diary page

'I feel lost'
So you said
Now I feel lost in my head
How could I be so naive
To think we could have ever been

When you said 'I do not love you'
My heart shattered
Now it feels like nothing matters
I just wish you could have said
So long ago
Because now I feel empty
And my dreams are all hollow

Another page has turned
Yet somehow things just feel the same
This ink never seems to last
It always seems to run away

Anxiety-ridden
She lay hidden
In the nest she called her room

Lost in oblivion
Her mind was labyrinthian
With no way to escape in sight

No love was given
Her heart was never forgiven
And was let to rot in peace

Global warming
Mortar shells
Endless burning
Lovely hell

Death and chaos
Wrists and knives
Blood drips slow
A toxic waste of life

Nightmare days
Dreams to escape
Lucid heartbreak
Just go away

Masks we wear
A size to fit all
'Everything is okay'
That is what we say

It's funny how fast you think life goes
Until you realise how slow it really is
So much time of ours is wasted
Life expectancies should be changed
Not for how many years we were alive
But for how many we spent actually living them
I spend so many days feeling that I am not alive
Maybe that would make my life expectancy low
I don't fear death
I fear living
Because in time everything will go

Beautiful minds seem to always get lost
They wander through dreams and memories long expired
And can't find the way out when they have not a thing to desire
Like jotted ink in the rain
Their promises run away from their mind
And they get lost in a loop that they think of as life

It may seem pointless now
It may do for a while
It may hurt so much
Until you can no longer feel
But it will change
Your fears will become strengths
And once your beautiful minds have found their way out
You can live your life again
And never give up

Beautiful yet desolate
The sun will succumb
Street lights will flicker
Life will feel numb
Those of purity will dream
Of blue moons and bright skies
While the rest are awake
To watch time go by

Beauty is terrifying
We are either picked to be put in the spotlight
Or are left to be seen by no one
I think we should just leave the flowers in the ground

Misery is an afterthought
A stain unnoticed and ignored
Beauty lies where terror stands
It falls again from our two hands
A lovely world where we reside
With every day and turning tide
The end will be where we confide
And admit that death has become our life

Between the plains of emptiness
Beneath the fragile stars
Above the molten core
Lies a man who dreams of nothingness
And everything all at once
His mind has found bliss
The earth found his body
And enlightenment saved him from his storm

The silent nights are the longest
It feels as if time stands still
The hush of the void is deafening
It lets not you sleep
Leaving your eyes stranded to watch as the night goes by
At this hour the mind wanders
For most rest has come
But for some time echoes
Endlessly
It repeats
Again
Again
Again
Again
As if everything was predetermined

Beyond my room
Through the closed door
Lies many wonders out to explore
Beauty and hardship
Smiles and tears
Sunshine and rain
I wish I could care

Time stands still here
The lights never change
Everyday feels the same

Death will come soon
Maybe I will give it a year
Maybe I will go outside more
Maybe one day I will care

Blank ink on the walls
In a house far away
In a room in the dark
He silently waits
No pen in his reach
He writes with his mind
Tells stories of his birth and the day that he died
Nobody listens
Nor do they care
He used to cry in the rain
Now he cries inside

Tears can only tell so much
A smile can often deceive
Silence can hurt when there are no words to speak

Sometimes this world feels as blue as my dreams
Nowhere to go and nowhere to breathe
These days feel endless and my mind never leaves
Winter days feel empty and so do the trees
Everything has fallen and is dying to be seen

The seasons will change soon
I hope too will my dreams
This world will not feel blue forever
I can still picture the lush green

Remember to breathe
There will be plenty of time to not breathe when you are dead

For every breath you take
A flower blooms

In the day it opens its petals
At night it's blessed by the moon

Each flower
Trapped by its stem
Longs for a bee

True beauty comes not in the color of a flower
But its desire to be seen

Sometimes all I have is thoughts
As if my soul had dissipated
And my body ceased to exist
No words can explain this feeling
This feeling of feeling nothing
But there must be something right?
It is just waiting to be found

For, I was found
By a smile bright as day
My nighttime eyes had to adjust
To realise love had come my way
The thoughts never used to leave
Recently things seemed to have changed
Not just the seasons
Or the tides
But the way that I express pain

The wind whispered gently
It will all be okay
His thoughts slipped with the teeming rain
The meadow held him where he lay
Slumber came
Time went by
But he would not awake
Flowers grew and took his place
He dreamed of brighter days

These words do not always come
Sometimes they do not even appear
But they are there
Buried in the subconscious
Colour is easy to write about
'Roses are pretty
And violets are blue
The stars look lovely too'
But what is fading is ignored
Death is sad
And wilted roses turn grey
Soon enough they will all be thrown away
Just like everything else
We will all be discarded
These words
These thoughts
Which are buried so deep
Will be taken to our graves

These words don't always come
Sometimes they don't even appear
But they are there
Buried in the subconscious
Color is easy to write about

'Roses are pretty
And violets are blue
The stars look lovely too'

But what is fading is ignored
Death is sad
And wilted roses turn grey
Soon enough they will be thrown away
Just like everything else
We will all be discarded
These words
These thoughts
Which are buried so deep
Will be taken to our grave

Beam from above illuminates my body
Drink till i'm numb and let go of my worries
Dance in the spotlight
Escape once it is dawn
Hide in the shadows
Wait for the moon to return

I know it's hard now
It has been for a while
It seems life will always be the same
In a way that is true
Some things never change
Although, throughout
Seconds
Days
And years
Change is occuring all the time
Sadness won't be in your heart forever
Our emotions change like the seasons
Some days it is unbearably cold
And other days it feels warm enough to bloom
But just know when you think your feeling nothing
I'll be feeling everything for you

You lay next to me
But are far away in your dreams
I rest in your arms
And think about what all of this means

Come with me
I'll take you into the darkness
We can pretend we are happy
No more pain and anxiety
You can be the light
I'll be drawn to your attention
We can pretend we know whats real
And take turns coloring imaginary roses
You can have my heart
Attached to a chain
I'll never leave your side
Together we can go insane