Look I know girls love Rihanna,
Have an attitude like Nicki
Woke up like Beyoncé
Then hit the gram in they Vickis
These days it's hard to meet women
All have a problem with commitment
Too busy touching another mans pigment
Thinking it's love but it's figment...
I'm scared to let somebody in on this
No new friends
Ohh, oh oh
You know how this all goes
Late night sexting on the phone
Independent but hates being alone
A new man every night
The type of behavior that she cannot condone

Hold on,

Girl, Talk to me, talk to me
Those sweet nothings help me listen
Look at her body coming close
Temptation breaks her resistances
Look at her, what is she missing?
She's missing slow morning kisses
Mh
A man who finds her favorite position
Mh
Then goes deep with her permission
Yeah
Hm
Say my name, say my name
Those other women were practice
Hop up on me and take action
Those thighs are fantastic
Kiss my lips with your disaster...
Make my heart beat faster...
Then whisper to me after...
Tell me how you love, love our traction
I mean attraction
Baby, Are we just acting?
Cause this the ****** of your movie
Let it slow play, and just take action
She starts biting and scratching
Breath hesitating as she's gasping
She's screaming and tells me to lunge
I'm moving in sync with the music
She said she's ready to come,
Come all the way back down
Her body was so high and numb
Cause she's addicted to the pleasure
And in love with the fun...

The fun of losing her mind in the ectasy of a moment
Where pretty girls claim that their picky but puts it down to any man with roses
I'm not saying that I'm right
I'm not saying that I'm wrong
I'm just saying you're queen girl
Treat yourself like one
If *** was a weapon it would go right for the heart
It would manipulate the brain
It would be a fatal scare
So, I Know girls love Rihanna
And wanna body like Nicki
I'm just saying make a man earn it
Don't give it up just so quickly
Keep your morals held strong
And your respect held high
Stop messing around with these boys
When your heart needs maturity
And soul needs a good guy.

~love~

Flashing lights...in a darken space where the ferns barely get enough light to grow, where the chill from earth's cold places a frozen morning dew underneath the clouds below
As I aspire to be like the great ones, like William Yates & Edgar Allan Poe
I know...better yet I understand
That you need to see through the eyes of humanity as you walk a mile in the shoes of another man.
Enter a woman's heart and feel her struggle, witness her fight, of the constant stereotype! As she is belittled for having more to cover up while enduring men's selfish acts of disrespect, somehow all being politically incorrect.
We must please in order to appease the guilty conscious that follows our pain's stricken past. The harpoon that killed mermaids, the blood of karma that ever lasts.
The idea of peace, the mindset of tranquility, the idea of belief, the Hard work, god given abilities...the power to withstand evils wrath...ignorance doesn't grow on trees, grow your roots with purity, and your leaves will grow strong and forever last.

I think first, but lately it seems now a days that's my stupid curse
Because it separates the good from the worst
It makes me feel like could it get any worst?
Maybe so
But this liquor is a good start
They say a drunken mind speaks an honest heart
I've been up all night sick like a dog
You was in my dream last night and still never called.
That's ironic
Waiter, let me get another gin and tonic
That make me feel superhuman with a hint of bionic
But she my one and only kryptonite
That kinda drug that keeps the eyes open throughout out the night...
Why can't you let me sleep?
This a dark angel that forever reaps
Who sticks her lethal nails in you 6 inches deep
(Like a burial)
Which means she killing me slowly
Funny how you hate but barely know me...
I think you owe me.
More than just this new found imagination.
More than all the bullsh!t that you've created...
More than the time I've lost that you have wasted
Maybe I should've embraced it?
Disaster was in the menu and I just had to taste it.
"Get out my life, take a hike"
I just hope you make it.

Even if you were broke, Id pay for you,
If you needed protection, I would fight and slay for you
If you were alone, I would lay and stay with you. Nowadays I just look up to the sky, shut my eyes...wish, hope and pray for you.

Because you need it.

How do you convince a broken heart that it's completely beautiful?
-Dougie Simps

It was every late night,
Every rising sun,
Every memory of you're love
Every second, every outcome
I felt empty but you filled my soul
I felt alone, but you offered a hand to hold.

The perfect surprise, the unexpected happy ending
The promises that were kept
A person worth forever friending

*I write this to you even though I'm sad and know you're in the sky
I miss you every day...I still wish I could of just said one last goodbye.

It's been 26 years and I'm finally letting out these held back tears
Of confessing to my family and friends of all my hidden fears
Another beer..a lack of drive cause I'm too drunk to ******* steer...the end feels near but I wanna be better than what ya see...who I appear
100 friends yet, they never call and call only when it's a need
I ******* bleed to please all of what ya need! But is it me? Of course it's me... I'm a monster who can't control his emotions that's why my 5 yr love decided to flea. Do I care? Will they always be there? Why do I repeat this *******...is life truly fair?
Fake success...maybe dress to impress...care a lil less and show your ignorant heart with your hollow chest! You can't impress people who already saw you at your best.
You're a poet, hell of a writer with the ambition to change the world! Yet your dark heart has made it impossible for you to remain with any girl...your mind twirls...your soul spins...gain a loss, forget a win...maybe it's time for you to finally look at yourself from within. Where have you been? Have you ever been honest? You can't escape this quick sand! TELL EM YOUR TRUTH! "Hi, my name is Bland" TELL EM YOUR WEAKNESS! I look in the mirror and it's ME i can't stand! "TELL EM MORE! AND DONT LIE!"...I tried and and continue deny. I'm a selfish individual who can't see things for what's right, so I pray selfishly to have "God" listen only to make everyone I ever spoken to a victim of my mission to do whatever the **** I want without permission...(I can't do this anymore!) FINISH! Okay! I'm not okay...I draw picture in my head, of a bed...of dirt and roses that say my name where I lay cause I have more issues than CNN and never know when the right time is to vent, cause I'm a self centered person who could honestly careless...and if it was your life I would probably Payless for me to no longer feel stress and sell you for me to come out best and invest in money power and false respect...I'd sell your soul for myself...I need help ******, .IM SORRY! Please make me stop... NO! YOU HAVE A LIL MORE TO SAY...okay! One day I woke up and told myself I may have nothing left to say and I can't stand the way how most people speak to me and the stupid **** they say so I pretend to listen and care but really I stare and am no longer there and I treat people like **** and use anger as a protectant so that no one can get close...my temper...please they won't dare...but I'm a little boy inside who is terrified and sacred and have no idea how to sleep peacefully because I'm addicted to the nightmares and I sit next to family in an attempt to fit in meanwhile look at my ******* skin...bottom line is, I'm nothing like these people from texture to within...I love to sin and I haven't meditated more than 15 minutes...I just say this **** so ya leave me alone and pretend to think I'm a good person and did it. Now I'm alone and possible insane! TELL EM BLAND! Idk what's wrong with my brain...I can't escape my mental cage...I feed off the world's rage and hate people who change. But I will change! Give me a chance, devil! Let me try to grow? You know what's best for me or you're a master of this manipulation? How do you know? Just let me feel something and be better than what itvm is...my past...let me seek the potential of being better than my dad. I'm not afraid! STF... NO! I'm not done talking, walking and following what it is I'm finally becoming! No longer running! As the alarm goes off and tells me to wake up and make up for my past and grow and feel the sun to warm my "cold heart" and see life for all its beauty, love in the air...seeing how a good thing last. I'm not afraid of your spew and all you do! And you trying to take your pitch fork and stick me of all the evil that resides in you! And yet, I will be something more of what I never knew id ever be! WHO THE ******* THINK YOU TALKING T... nobody, for once I'm talking to me Speaking to you as I continue and find what it is I can finally reach! Honesty, family, friends, love and myself...with everything else I always wanted to be! as I finally open my eyes and see...me.
I've kept a lot this a secret and had no idea it would finally come out for me to share...
No ones perfect...I just hope this doesn't change your perception of me...I truly changed...please...I need ya there.

You can replace me,
I'm expendable, I'm replaceable
I was a moment, you were a scene
In a movie that we developed
Of an unexpecting dream.

The one that came with the kiss on the forehead goodnight
The one that came with the ability to calmly sleep at night
I remember...(laughing) I remember these moments
& at times I know you do too.. I know you still feel my hands in yours...I know...nothing. I can't think this through...
I know when I breath this cold air, my lungs start to freeze, but how can you convince a scared mind to tell the heart to truly see what it wants to see? Me. I know when I look up at the stars, my heart starts to beat..I knew when I heard the door open...that was you ready to leave.
I have to stop! I have to take my palms and close them into non aggressive fist, I have to stop holdin on to hope and let go of this. You told me my words were magic..Yet, I can't form a sentence to convince you of our old bliss..

(Closed eyes flashback)
"please! don't! Don't give me one last kiss."* *Sadly I remember this.

The horror of the knife digging deep inside me, the scar I forever walk with.
I can't live like this! and continue to survive on your leftover venom, your seduction through your captivating eyes, your temptation from the shape of your denim.

**Soaked spots on the page,I know my days may get better..I just hope one day this gets to your heart, my eventually heals, I just hope you get this letter.

That beautiful mind - what is she thinking?
Is she thinking about you?
Maybe it was about her summer?
Maybe she hasn't thought things through?
Her mind could be racing...
Trying to finish her last thought
Or maybe her brain ain't been the same
Since her hearts been lost.
Does she wonders about her future?
Maybe reminisce about what's happened in her past...
Thinking about loving me - but can she more so than her last?
Her figment thought have her mind dancing in the moonlight - while she rises so high her feet can't touch the ground
She's daydreaming about...nothing - nothing
Just sleeping on a cloud.
Simplicity fuels her membrane
All while sleeping on a cloud.
Said she's never coming down
The earth is too vague - the city is way too loud
Yeah
My Darling daydream...
But what's she thinking now?...

As I move closer - whisper sweat nothings in her ear.
Maybe she's thinking clear, this man I both adore and fear...
One moment it's summer nights - next the cold winter snow
What is she thinking?
Guess I'll never really know
Stares at me with her smile...
But the clock never stops ticking
Is she thinking that she's fulfilled love?
Or does she wonder what's missing...
Girl, let me into your beautiful mind
Let me dive in and explore
Let me see all your thoughts, your desires and so much more.

And I wonder what's she thinking?
My darling keeping on daydreaming.
Imagine your heart filled with love
Your soul full of meaning.
Sleeping on her peaceful cloud.
As she continues, daydreaming.

So many times of misplacment
So many hearts in replacement
Why is love becoming abrasive?
Oh how could you just...
Sit on the other side and stare at your phone?
okay with the feeling of being and living alone..
Collecting their hearts this behavior I cannot condone, yeah
Did you ever see me?
Has my soul taken full transparency?
Talk to me - ask me where it is my mind has gone...
Tell me I'm right for believing in all of your wrong,
Feel my pain as the pen bleeds in this song
You, no longer want me
No longer love me I....

(Beats drops dramatically)

I can't feel nothing, my body is numbing
Searching for you, why can't I see something?
Looking for words
blank thoughts remain
It's the woman who suffers the most in this game.
Turn the tables - swallow the meal that you've made
Stick a fork in her heart and cut her right through her veins.
Yeah,
Swim in her mind, all her memories reside
Stop watching em drown, stop watching em die...

yeah... (Echos out)

Mhmm please come save me, while you still have time!
Why must they leave when you're running on your lifeline...
I - I don't understand, I...don't (crying) understand...

(She looks up - wipes her tears and anger comes)

Moment after moment
I've allowed Cupid to control this
(Control this)
Yeah, control this
It's my turn to finally show this
You cheated on me, but I'm depressed
I refuse, I refuse
To allow another man to get me upset
I need to be strong, I need to move on
A queen never lets a prince do her wrong
You cut and you ripped
You hurt me like this
But I build and I grow and I'll
(Learn from this)
Repressed and refreshed
Make - up smeared - I'm a mess
Let me clean up myself and show the world
(How I do this)
You can take back your kisses
Gifts, and false - fake wishes
I'm better than ever and you're the last thing I'm missing.
Bet you thought this was about you...
You know it was about you
Bet you thought I would fall and crash
Bet you thought I couldn't make it with you...
Bet you this, bet you that
Those memories are deleted, all those words taken back.
You smiled at my tears, but guess who'll get the last laugh?
You claimed to be a man and sit high on your thrown
Well, I've yet to see a king and a person who's grown
And let me tell you one thing, you couldn't break me if you tried
We women grow from the pain and build from what lies.

Body language, it must be her body language
I catch myself staring at her confidence, sorry girl if I can't explain this
You see your aura shows gold and your passion shines bright
Your heart beats fast because of your sleepless, nervous nights
Of the thought that a man may actually know how to treat ya, greet ya, and hell maybe show honest affection
He may actually just wanna lay with you and hear you speak without any degrating corrections
You're a star. Beyond that in this abstract world where you and I are
As we lay ontop of the car and I point out the Little Dipper you show me the idea of comfortable love by tomorrow
Midnight kisses, sensation from my misses
It's the opportunities in life's that we should cherish that's my mission
Tear drops coming from a broken mask as we bash and I pour my stubborn heart into her empty glass
To find something that can forever last
No matter what the sceptics say
Girl, I don't listen to chatters I listen to only what my mind will say.
Follow me. I wanna guide you. I wanna show you. I know I didn't allow myself to feel the grasps of a good woman
But I held on
**I never released. I believe in the chance of us...can you believe in the idea of me?

Hi.
You might not know me
But for real
I don't even blame you
I gave up long ago
on sharing who I was
while hiding
who I am

Hi.
I seem a stranger
good and bad
and all the in-between
It wasn't so pretty
or easy, or real, or "fine"
but I am
OK now.

Hi.
I was an addict.
drugs of choice?
Elusive approval
Associated shame
Stolen identity
Yes, I was
just a fraud.

Hi.
Here I am broken.
you scold me
and then I lose myself
a scapegoat to be razed
to be a throwaway
But I raised
my self up.

Hi.
I’m a mosaic
Living art
I'm pieces of past lives
And though I was scattered
I am collected now
I made this
this beauty

Hi.

I've sketched this out, I've drawn up a few conclusions
It wasn't real, but our chemistry could of fooled any illusion..
Talking late texting, an early message, a few words to pass by the other just to gain some leverage,
I just didn't see you coming, but that's an excuse, end of sentence.
Yet,
I apologize
For not taking my chances to finally look into those eyes
Promise you clear skies
Lay down on the beach, talk forever
As time flies
I miss you.
I miss having someone to just talk
It's getting hella lonely now, hands in my pockets as I just walk
I guess it makes sense
Two people can't intertwine if they both are tense
I just never met a woman who I can speak too, understand and just vent.
But I made a mistake
I forgot what building a relationship takes..
Takes a chance, takes a moment
Takes two people in order to make
And I peep from time to time just to still see that pretty smile
I would text you, but I know it wouldn't be worth while
I just hope you know and understand
This wasn't part of my plans
At times, I rewind that long Saturday
And wish it was all pretend
I wish we could of stayed friends
I tend to wonder if we will ever amend
Till then
I wish you well and hope you one day can come around
I promise to do right on my wrongs
No cussin, no lookin down.
Letting go...cause forever, you can't hold on
It's true that you truly miss something but only when it's finally gone.

Put my head down when I walk in a house full of mirrors
I don't need to see the man who has single handily destroy my appearance
This personality disorder got me stuck in lack of control
I'll warm up to you at first but end our relationship real cold
A monster..
Maybe I'm stuck inside the belly of the beast
Societies ignorance is thanksgiving
And everyday I feast
Promise things won't be weird if ever again you and I meet
I never knew what love was thought that concept all but deceased
...
I'm an idea and nothing more when it comes to women
Intrigued by my persona and try to go deep within him
Only to drown
My soul has become deeper than the ocean
I swear I'm mature enough at 27
But my childish actions leave me vulnerable and wide open
I can blame it on my father or that the fact that I may never take responsibility
Two paths to choose
And I constantly walk the road of hostility
Take the knife outta my mind
My cut throat thoughts are hurting all my encounters
Need to medicate my brain but not the ****t you get over the counter
Y'all see a smile all the time and I'll continue to show you positive emotions
Always had to be strongest and show enforced devotion
Lead by example - too many eyes are watching
My legs are way past exhaustion everyday I feel like stopping
It's like I'm trying to sell myself to the world but ain't nobody shopping
Prove and show and show and tell
Maybe I don't put in enough
Your interior is too soft for your outside to be so tough
You balanced on a beam trying to outweigh death
You can't truly understand life until you experience some sorta loss of breath
The answers all over the walls
But you still fail every test
Tryna to clean up your act but still remain a mess
The perception looks good and people see you going like you got it all together
But the sunshine they seeing doesn't change your stormy weather
This a mind over matter
You're the only one who can change your own disaster
Take all of your flaws and serve it up on a platter
No one will come for seconds
No one wants to feed into ya pity
Talk is cheap - and your words barely cost a penny
Turn life into a 180 and flip the script on yourself
Because at the end of the day when you fall
You're the only one who can pick up yaself.
Don't look too deep into my rhymes
For metaphorically I've committed a crime
Place my thoughts behind bars
And let my wisdom do time
Dear lord, can you let me go on bond and release?
The melody of my new tune finally has me at peace
Or do feel I'm another lying convict that's trying to lie and deceive?
You can't be outspoken in a world that's morally broken
A dime for your concepts and quarter for your emotion
Been told my talent oozes out but the cut is closing
Maybe I'm afraid of the spotlight & what they'll think
Maybe I don't know what door to open
Maybe something has happen to me...
Y'all keep looking at the pictures in hopes that I'll never change
That I'll grow with my experiences and start to write a whole new page
That he'll remain enjoyable- loving and honorable to his name
Promised myself I was okay - but I know I'll never be the same.

No matter* how tired my legs get...I'll never stop* chasing you.
No matter how much my chest hurts...It'll never stop beating for you. As I get nervous, anxious...excited about what you're about to say.
No matter how much my mind spins...I'll never stop thinking about you, your feistiness, your smile, the way your eyes look at me a certain way.
I'll never stop trying.
I'll never stop trying to make things better.
I'll never stop showing you what you deserve. Clear skies, a peaceful mind, forehead kisses and "I miss you" at the end of each letter. I'll never stop. Even when you want me to because I know you don't want me to truly stop...and go away.
I'll never stop because not many people can make me feel this way.
The best part of the story, and always the highlight of my day.

"Thank you!" as she would say. Lol
But...
I just wannted to make her smile.
I hope I can do that now, tomorrow...and always.
I'll never stop.

"You don't just walk away when it gets tough babe! You work it out together when it comes to relationships and lov...tha...peerrrsonnn..." (her voice)

Yeah,
But I guess I was just dreaming
You see I wrote this first part weeks before the news
Because it was you - I still believed in
Regardless of the paid respects
You can't buy someone's love for any less
Can't clean up the previous mess
I was the problem when I had you at ya best!
(Dayum)
I hate the way you would avoid a text
The truth was between the lines
But the lies were all that were left
Thought I was drowning in your eyes but really it was just time for me to reflect
Ended things calmly but feel like I was just  in a vortex
Can't be afraid of goodbyes when hellos seem to be the hardest

Truth is I wish I deserved it
Asking all the time to see her only to get curved in
Silent treatment to someone who only tried to treat ya
Knowing her life was getting tough and I was trying to keep ya.

Tell me who was trying to push away who?
Maybe March 17th was the last time I really met you.
And I don't believe that the last time we spoke that was really you
Sometimes **** just gets hard and you gotta get thru.

(And I know you'll make it)

Can't give into love's strain and conviction
I hate that I love you...without the realization of my false contradictions.
Given up on me - yet, add another to the list
My mind boggles these days but not in the thought of you - but when things with us took a sudden switch
Crazy to think you give someone everything you got to just be forgotten
The way you handled those last few weeks were foul girl - spoiled rotten.

Why comeback only to leave?
To showcase who you "truly" are but only for yourself to see?
To reach out to someone who just can't be reached
This seems to be a pattern of one's personality
I don't need clarity.
The pen is loaded - the target is set
Why can't I pull the trigger!?
You quit on us and deserve the shots!
Why am I trying to be bigger!?
...
Cause I've learned a lot
Took some deep breaths
saw what was hurting me temporarily instead of making me feel blessed
This isn't shade
This is honesty and telling the truth of ones false reality
A lot of stars in the sky but figured you and I were the brightest in the galaxy

This letter to you is for you to see what you can do to someone when you make decisions based off emotions
Stop pulling the next person with you just because you can't swim in your own painful ocean
Let go of that anger
You're too pretty to frown
Let go of her legacy too - you won't make the same mistakes when you finally fall in love and pick out a gown.

Disappointment - for sure but you live and you learn
Need to stop holding on to the firey moments
Maybe that's why it's so hard to let these memories burn.
Lessons were taught and two people found growth within each other
Let's not pretend like we are rooting for us to simply find another.
Our bond was special
But the timing was off
We'll never know what could've been
And sadly that's our loss
I only want the best for you
And that's on my heart
I'd be lying if I said I saw the day wed truly fall apart

But

At times I wonder - when it all unfolded that day,
did I say all that I needed?
why didn't I beg you to stay?
Cause you loved the old me and I'm a different person these days.
Still hard to look at the woman you loved
And tell yourself it's time to walk away.

You wipe ya face quickly - put up a smile...and just go....(eachos out)

But doug wait...
Hol up let me quickly say my final word
If this piece ever reaches you i need this part to be heard
I love you to death and would re up with you in a second
If you were mad after reading this you didn't decipher the love from pain in this message
I pray for you all the time, hope you get all the good you deserve and tell god to keep you safe from any harm or danger
But I gotta leave ya on this final note
"If only we could go back again...and become strangers."

Thank you (echoes out)

Focus* on self identity
Leave regrets in the past
Greet positivity
Take in the moments that last
Discover growth
Bury a seed
Stop asking for wants
Look for your needs
Embrace love
Ignore hate
Chase away evil
Follow your faith
Begin each day on purpose
End each night with new gaurenttees
Quit on self doubt
Start with "I can achieve"

I don't have much to give but a heart made of gold
What use is material things, when you need someone to hold?
What you have is priceless, a love that can't be sold
The way to someone's heart remains to be untold.
I feel the distance and this lonely open road...
Can you please let me in, in from out the cold?

You'll never understand this pain,
My sunshine turns to rain
I just want you to call me at night
But watch you call his name

Get up and leave everything
Can't you see what I can bring?
Can't leave...this wandering heart astray
Please just take a chance on me,
I will give you all of me

Just leave your lover, leave them for me
Leave your lover, leave them for me

I sit and constantly think of us growing old
Cause I'm in love with you, and you will never know
And if I can't have you, I'd much rather be alone
My heart can't hold on anymore, and slowly letting go

You'll never understand this pain,
My sunshine turns to rain
I just want you to call me at night
But watch you call his name

Get up and leave everything
Can't you see what I can bring?
Can't leave...this wandering heart astray
Please just take a chance on me,
I will give you all of me

Just leave your lover, leave them for me
Leave your lover, leave them for me

These final words are for you, hoping you hold on
So many sleepless nights, of the thought you may be gone
I know your heart already feels love, I'll try to convince mine to move on...
So easy to walk away, it's just so hard to...be strong.

You'll never understand this pain,
My sunshine turns to rain
I just want you to call me at night
But watch you call his name

Get up and leave everything
Can't you see what I can bring?
Can't leave...this wandering heart astray
Please just take a chance on me,
I will give you all of me

**Just leave your lover, leave them for me
Leave your lover, leave them for me

Yeah,
It's been a while but figured I need to write you some
27 now and hope you're proud of who I've become
I've fallen a lot but felt your grace pick me up
My guardian angel with me pushing any kinda luck
I've been asked a few times who I wanna be as I get older
Said you just in case I never told ya
Grandpa told me what you did when I was a kid in need of guidance
Protecting my eyes from my father's influence and violence
I heard that and couldn't help but I shed a tear
Not a min goes by that I don't wish you were here
My drive is strong but everyday I know you
help me steer
My moment is big with the critics talking but you're the only voice that I hear
You taught me to always **** em off with kindness
When you show who you truly are when no ones watching - that's when you're at ya finest...
Taught me to handle it when I get set backs
Been through the worst times to get the best back
At times I feel I ain't work hard enough to get where I wanna go
And feel i can't move forward cause I ain't let the past go
Still holdin in some anger from things that don't think about me
I'm blinded by my emotions in which truly I can't see
I'm trying to become everything and more that you'd be proud of
I'm trying give back more and show more love
It's hard when naturally this doesn't go through you
People won't understand all this unless they knew you
I promise to get better and be the example
And showcase who I am instead of giving out samples
You're the reason I get up everyday and gain motivation
Because you can't get what you want if you remain complacent
Need your help to guide my broken heart to pure places
Give me the strength to become a lil more patient
So I say a prayer for you, cross my heart and continue to strive
And hope that you remain with me on my journey and never leave my side.
You was right but I had to see for myself
I guess it took time for me to earn for myself
I hope this is somewhat a thank you for all ya help
I hope the angels take care of you until I see you myself.

Rest in peace Opa
Miss you

Don't take a lot to get this person inspired
As his arms grow weak and tired
Hoping to god he doesn't expire
As passes on through the fire
And chases what he admires
Angel kisses that put faith in all he so desires
But this ain't the same man who remember who wrote confessions
Passed up selling his soul to gain a few more blessings
People, anymore questions?
I choose to plead the fifth
Your antagonist ways slowly **** me like an active cyst
As I clinch both my fist and prepare for hopeless battle
With friends, family I love and those who truly matter
A spoonful of pure disaster
Mind bursting with thoughts...
The hardest battle in my life is the one internally fought
To think twice with gun while the devil dares you to pull the trigger and growing as an outcast a half Caucasian  ni@@a who strikes with pure aggression, ignored but received the message
Push every good woman away who probably could of gave him leverage
To rise high to the sky, Jesus god me oh my
A half empty glass full of broken dreams and tears from his eyes
But denies it and just lies cause weakness is pain leaving the body
He won't lower his guard for a single person, NOT NOBODY!
But even a lion gotta know when to drop his pride and say sorry...so
Sorry for all the issues, all I've ever put you through
The truth is you was my biggest fan and I didn't wanna wish on you
Father you are forgiven, It's times for me to start living
Slaving my internal freedom, overworking them in my Hell's Kitchen
Listen...cause I'm disappearing and placing my world in disguise
Thank you Hello Poetry
Im calling it quits but it's been a great ride...alotta wishes inside...no longer feel the need to write...I'm done but
I leave you with final piece "Lookin through his eyes" live for every moment, love yourself
Actually...don't take my advice
(Do you)

A sunny day but she can see rain in the sky
The news reported truthfully, but she reads lies...
Says the time struck 12 and her prince is no where in sight...
So original when she thinks "just like every other guy"...
She was into all the things that girls like...
Hair products, **** fashion, a hand that captured a ring
But her intuition says pain is what men bring
So she walks with her guard up...blocking all pickup swings.
"My hearts been tortured, cheetahs roam my land" and "my life résumé
Is messed up...things didn't go as planned"
Independent and so pretty...men hate that she is witty...wish she was a freak and try to read her like "Shades of Grey plus Fifty"...
Dear woman who I speak of...
Please don't ever change love...
Just hold on to your faith and don't hide behind your make-up...materialism is abstract to her natural ability...find your inner star, put your mind in a state of tranquility.
My princess please smile, pain doesn't last a while.
Time heals all wounds and its a quarter past ya "new life" and 10 too Coming Soon...stay beautiful my queen.
-Dougie Simps
"For my girls who just needed a man to walk in their shoes. I got you"

Im separating love from friend
Real from pretend
A heart you could crush
Or one that you could mend
A letter dotted ps; in which my love I must send
This is a moment I use
To see why I'm confused
In which both hearts lose
Due to...the time of pick and choose.
Yeah
I just needed a moment
But I know how I feel…
Sooo
Are things getting to real?
Are you scared?
Afraid of me?
In what we could be?
Please, why can't you just love me...
Why can't you...

(Drink pouring)
My....my eyes close...
I feel...I feel something close, something I adore most,
Buttermilk soft skin
Lips that taste like sin
Slow kisses...no idea where they've been.
Hold up, *(piano)
Let my notes serenade your brain
Create the melody for your sensation
Watch my slow riffs penetrate your veins
Said "your music's my drug"
As I play this sweet novacane
Extra dosages of my verses for the pain
A hook that leaves the body drained

Stop!

Repetition creates a dullness of ones perception
Changed the notes to help this ****** aggression
Synced it up so well
Baby, we so in tune
Nothing is better than making a love song
Nothing is better than making the perfect song with you.

Excuse me? You wrote this right?
Why do you write me goodbye?
Why do you no longer believe in me?
Why are you internally letting me die?
For I - am the reason for everything.
I am the laughter and the pain
I am the feeling you get from the sunrise
I'm the emotions carried down your cheeks when it rains
You're angry at me...
I took em away...like I gave up on you
When your heart every time begged for them to stay
I am building you...you needed to lose me in order to understand that I'll be back again and you will be a better you
You can't run away from me anymore or yourself nor the truth
I live inside of your pain...
I know you tell others you'll never truly be the same but...you lie
You lie to hide what it is you truly are inside
You have the ability to give a love beyond what many can imagine
You just choose now to block your hearts valves with unforgivness and sadness
Why won't you look at me?
You use to love eye contact
Why won't you hold my hand?
You use to love symbolic impact..
I'm still here,
I have endured you long enough pushing me away
What is it about love you don't want? You don't believe in? That you don't think I should stay?
For your heart beats for that one, right?
You yearn for the possibility of showing the kind of man you are...the amount of love you can give.
Just know, I'm one of the essentials in life - without me...it's nearly impossible to truly live.

I was there when you remembered - I was there when you cried - I was there when they walked away - I was there when they died. I was there in the smiles - I was there for the laughs. I was there at first sight - I was there at the last. I was there when you've fallen steep - I was there when you've risen - I was there when you hated me...I'll remain here....even if not forgiven.

For I am love,
I never left you. I always remained here by your side
Please stop running away from me -
Please let me back in
Forgive me
Please, don't say goodbye.

(beep) pshh (fading out)
I think they tryna come into my interface...
does misery still love company?
cause they wanna to stay at my civil place..
where a voice don't match a face
cause we don't make uneducated assumptions
we barely follow a lead
even if it leads to something
creative control,
don't matter if your 5 years old
the eyes create the picture
the heart develops the mold
any persons story can be told
but lets let the individual tell it
if they speak of overnight success
applauded them, no reason to become jealous
long live the king
the one who had a dream
the one who stood for integrity
the one who guided a team
the words Hero and Idol to me don't mean, what they use to mean
but I'm bitter cause most Heroes I knew never actually believed
little children are the future lets let them all achieve
internal pain of the weak, falling from heart broken disease
my thoughts becoming appeased
as I travel this lyrical world spreading my metaphoric peace
picking up the falling souls and reviving em piece by piece
ya don't need to listen but understand I have a message
one that could lift your shoulders higher and give your lack of support some leverage
I'm basic maybe below average but can carry the world and its baggage
god didn't hand me the throne
he sent me out to prove I deserve to have it
empty minds that go unnamed
with broken emotions with no one to blame
inner strength is the motive
A lion heart
guess that's why I'm so hard for society to try and tame.

I thought it was a mission...
A mission to your heart, your soul... Your ugly mind.
One that confuses and abuses what it is that was honest and genuine love that I carried for years and years only for you to help shed my tears and have them travel down the path in which they have gone before..

Down..

No more, NO!
Let me go. Keep my sweater and let it warm your cold, shiverish spew that you so soldemly spit when you share your venomous words.
You burned me..helped show and discerned me.
You allowed yourself to grab me like a rebound and then drop me...without there being any sound. No smack! No crash...just a silent shatter in which I'm still picking up the pieces of our fallen glasses...healing all the small cuts and closing my eyes in which I still hear your voice, see your whispers..."I love you"
(I laugh) (you lie)
Months and months later...I realized that I over exhausted my efforts in my tries.
I wanted to heal an already broken heart, dismantled mind
You wanted to drink your pain away and waste just a few more hours of our precious time.
Until that one time...no protection
No safety to what was penetrable in the lust of what was mistaken to be love... Transformed into hate. Into a whirlwind of fear. Into a reflection in which you and I stare... And months later... Now see nothing.
I cowered down to my knees and will never let you do that again, will never let you back into my soul...will never consider you a true and real friend.
Since you dissect only the what it is you need... In which it is your empty heart you feed, while your ignorance slowly bleeds...out. Black blood and darkness...an Angels dark kiss
In the mist she awaits...to hunt on yet, another hopeless mind.

Infatuation creates a shadow that makes us blind.

You were different, miss
You were insane, miss
You were an inspiration, miss
You were easy, miss
Simple, miss
You were...love, miss
Or was it hate, miss?
You were trapped freedom, miss
A dark dream, miss
A shallow bliss, miss

But I say goodbye, miss

Because the truth is, miss

You won't be,

*Missed.

I'm becoming a monster
I'm becoming a monster!

Clawed my way out the gutter
My rage is what allows me to conquer!

I'm becoming a monster.

I'm becoming a tyrant
RUN, RUN, RUN

old feelings and brains that are mindless
Love that grew old and moments that were timeless

I'M A MONSTER!

scripted in my own story to **** and defeat
destroy and watch the innocent decease.

I'm...I'm not a monster.

I am a victim

a victim to what every woman I have ever been with...
now perceives me as.

every friend that's ever judge me

every family member that's looked at me strange

deranged... yet, I was just misunderstood

or... am I a monster? I think not

(I transform)

Yet, the blood rushes through my veins
as I think of you in pain...
It's like a sudden high for me
to see your heart gasping for air and your mind trapped in chains
You're so vain. You're so weak!
my lips tingle and hands cringe when you speak.
You were an angel to me 8 months a go...now you're a demon who like the devil, reaps...what is it you seek?
INNOCENTS!
what is it you say... FINISH HIM.
Now you're scared...and you should be...

The tables have turned
I'm the monster now.
I will expose you!
it's your demising moment...I seek.

(transforms back)

I lost it...Control...Hope...Sanity...

Myself and now...

You.

but you were already lost

You were already gone.
My transformation was caused by you.

I'm not a monster...I'm a creation of your twisted dark fantasy,
of your poison.

**Because really...
             The monster...
                                  Is you.

Her colors I start to blend, painting a woman's masterpiece
Her heart pumps honesty, while her soul condones peace.
A couple more paint strokes to form her ambitious eyes
To create her sincere integrity, to mold her intelligent mind
Sculpting her genuine smile,
adding detail to an aura so kind.

Women, are a beautiful master piece
That can't be rushed, it must be worked on over time.
*& when I get one... I will paint her forever. I will never stop helping her create her design, I will mix her love with my passion...I will make this precious masterpiece truly mine.

His hallucination, imagination and often non apologetic
These symptoms aren't illness...just a man who's poetic
Cause I see things in my mind that aren't human being
and imagine a world of non judgement in an imaginative dream...but I'm sorry for the fact,
that you see shades of black
In a distorted vision that is bleak and abstract...
maybe if you were more intuitive with your inner belief...ya soul would finally allow ya ignorance to be released...
or simply you'll decease
and fall to the complexity of life...
99% of earth creatures can't tell wrong from right,
we see all evil and blinded from the light.
Are the blind the ones who have the highest form of sight?
And I'm gone.

-Dougie simps #lostloveWriter

Ugh,
I got this.
Felt like yesterday we was just spitting in the room
Now I'm 25 years old bout to be on the move
We both knew this was coming soon
But how come I can't quite say I'm excited, while lookin back at you?
Because things have to change and I know it hurts
Growing pains coming in, ****
I know they hurt
But the memories always will last and family remains my whole
And I'll never forget the one place that I will always call home.

I got few things to say before I go and fly away
I remember all the traditions, all the holidays
Remember the bunk bed being filled with me and Renee
Knowing santa was coming soon, as we tried to stay awake
Playing games till the sunrise with me and my brother
Coming home real late and just talking life with my mother.
Can't forget listening to tunes with my baby sis
****, those the moments I think imma really miss
But the memories always will last and family remains my whole
And I'll never forget the one place that I will always call home.

Let take ya back to the glory days
Friends knocking on my door to see if I can come out and play
Remember playing every sport till the sun went down
Trying HOLLA at all the girls when ever we'd walk to town
The block to the spot we was holding it down
No phones, no sense of time just on our bikes strolling around.
****, how things have changed
The stories I have would fill up this whole page
I'm proud of all them now and see them all making moves
It's just part of life, growing up. Imma miss ya and just hope we always stay cool. But the memories always will last and family remains my whole
And I'll never forget the one place that I will always call home.

I told myself I wouldn't breakdown in this last verse
But it's hard to walk away from the one place you'd always go first
Leaving at all the memories, **** that's the worst
I'm playing tough guy, I won't cry! Really internally I'm about to burst.
Time has past so fast when did I become this man?
Making momma proud of her first child has always been my plan
She told me "she's happy for me but gunna miss the conversations"
But she know my phone always on and her call, I'll be waiting
I dreamed of this moment and knew God wanted me patient
Held my breath for so long I nearly fainted, this was the piece work that I've always painted
Scared as hell and can't tell ya what's bout to come next
But I know life waitin for me and I can't wait for what comes next
Growth part of the journey
As its glory we're yearning
Thank you lord...I can finally feel my life start turning.
Took me out of the dark and let me see the brand new
Never give up when you're down, you can get back up. That all im tryna say to you
But the memories always will last and family remains my whole
And I'll never forget the one place that I will always call home.

(Turn the music off!)  
Yeah,
This is my last thing and I know God got a plan for me and I wanted to talk quick to my family tree
Thank ya for never quitting, giving up on me. I promise to take what all ya taught with me. Renee taught me to be calm, Cori showed me how to be free, Eric showed me how a brother can mean most to me.
All three ya always mean the most to me. If wasn't for your gifts, there would be no glow to me.
But last and not least gotta talk my mama
Superwoman! The one who put up with years of drama
Teaching me how to be strong and covered me with armor
"Be a good person" never wanted bad karma
We escaped the worst, you took me outta the Devils hurst. Seeing you cry by a man always felt the worst
I grew up strong because you always lead by example. Raising a man on her own must of been a handful!
But you created a gentleman and nice young man,
Who treats women with respect and does right when he can.
Mama you're my shining star and biggest fan.
You're the center piece to the puzzle of our amazing fam.
I promise I'll give back to you, gimmie time, watch your son become a good man.
As he leaves where he's from and goes off on his own,
Remember ya, no matter where ya go...there's no place like home. (Echos out)

This road has closed I can't see the end
I can feel the cold breeze touching my skin
I can feel the fire burning in my heart
Not sure where I'm going, not sure where to start.
(Guitar playing)
Well I don't know where, and I don't know when
But I know we'll be lovers again
I can see our love every time I use this pen,
I can hear her heart every time I swim
In a bottle of tears drifting in an ocean of gin
My emotions are creating a collage...mental images of remembering where we've been.
I hope this song reaches you, I hope to see you again.
Would love to speak to you just as friends.
Do you smile the same? Is your hair still long?
I'm just talking to myself, I know that you're gone.
It's the idea of hope that keeps me holding on...holding......on.