As the leafs fall I call out your name,
Oh you, who comes with change, who comes uninvited,
The night creeps around in an early hour,
Yet I can't see you coming,
Just where are you hiding ?
Oh first snow, father frost,
I await you.
In the loitering darkness,
Of a lonesome, cold evening.

~ Umi

When the magic fades,
And the winds stop howling,
A question occurs with yourself growling,
As shooting stars have granted no more wishes,
What you believed to be true proved itself malicious,
When sound melts into beautiful, yet resentless stillness,
Worry not, just as you are, faith is transient,
Even if this world might not be heavensent,
Do your best, live your life with no regret,
You may be faithless, but please..
Do not lose the faith in yourself.

~ Umi

Growing alongside plain grass,
They stand proud with leafs coming in three,
But you search for one with a different appearance, no ?
Does the four-leafed clover promise you luck ?
Or perhaps the illusion of riches and wealth ?
To be bedded with roses of comfort and luxury would be a dream,
Yet all they are is ordinary ****, casually growing in a field,
The luck you experience is but in yourself alone,
Such heartfelt fancy just couldn't come to be,
For the rarity your eye has grasped,
Has made you feel hope, but also Happiness,
And happiness, is true luck.

~ Umi

When fury burns up an empty heart,
All what is left are the ashes of a saddened truth,
You, after all still can't change the past.
On a tranquil sea far away,
These waves rekindle your memories,
Until, the woe has been washed away
From the shore.

~ Umi

In your arms I feel the delicate heartbeat, assuring me you are alive,
All the sadness, all my pride, all my ego and all deception are radiated away, by your gentle touch, the sound of your breathing,
One day, I would like to give to you what you always return to me;
The purity of Love.
But, little old me seems to be too frightened, too delusional to accept the reality of the warmth you gift me with each and every moment I can share and enjoy along side you, hand in hand,
It is too much like a dream, to escape from all sorrow and heartache because of you, and what you have done to change me,
No song, no poem, no words and emotions would ever be capable to show you how much you mean to me, but at least I shall try!
So may I make a wish of selfishness today,
Stay with me, don't leave me,
You are the last light I'll see,
My dear, wonderful..
Tenshi ♡

~ Umi

Where are you ?
When will you come back ?
Without you I am unable to write,
Unable to record my essence into this very poem,
Yet I hold on, waiting for you to return,
But it seems, you have already found a new vessel,
Leaving your old one behind.
Please come back..?

~ Umi

A gloomy soul for an unnamed vessel,
A decaying mind with the will to wrestle fate,
Aimlessly walking beyond the scene,
Forgotten or discarded by anyone they've seen,
Just the painful memories, coming from the treacheries,
A sip of hot chokolate makes them think,
Why am I to enjoy this drink,
It doesn't matter, it will never be,
With such determination they must flee,
To a happy place without even dreams,
To an unknown darkness and where it streams,
Not giving up, their will becomes stronger,
Not even accepting this any longer,
Yet, one cannot chose who they are in this world,
Burning my tongue I softly smile,
It's a beautiful day outside.

~ Umi

Go to sleep tonight,
Dear, then I shall visit you,
In your sweetest dreams.

~ Umi

A stimulating impulse,
Leading to the center of a drying up ocean,
Never a wish granted, it dries up to extinction,
What little hope it holds, vanquished in an instant,
Life that now cannot grow out of light, creates a desert,
How many souls will it take until it is satisfied with its destruction ?
Only sorrow may remain as the one true victor.
A heart felt fancy would be the assumption,
Of a brighter, lively future,
Yet there is no faith in it ever coming,
It is but a lost dream.

~ Umi

What is this desire,
Keep writing without purpose ?
Is it simply muscle memory to keep on going,
To cast each stream of thought gracefully onto paper
Or is it guilt, a feeling of something I just must do ?
Perhaps the answer remains hidden beneath these words,
Or never discovered as time ticks on and a new story unfolds,
What remains is a simple desire to write without end,
Driven by determination and a pen like my mind,
Only rarely running out of ink.
Will it last forever ?

~ Umi

I sleep the day away to try and save a part of me,
And every night I rise to see it fall apart,
The eye of my heart is closing faster than I'd like,
But this time, it isn't love that is closing it,
Not the cold touch of the dark, not envy as it sees fit,
As age further blurrs my vision, and I can't see where I'll go,
I shall slumber and dream away all woe,
Maybe I will see again when I awake.

~ Umi

A thorn has taken my point of view
Hurting to even open my eye to appreciate this drawn scenery,
I keep wondering wether it would be simply easier to crush it,
But even then, the thorn wouldn't be out, no ?
Shut off, it won't bother me anymore.

~ Umi

In the depths of our mind,
Lie nightmares ever so undreamed,
Waiting to shift into the imagined reality.

~ Umi

The demon who had but one to relate to,
Was labled as a monster by the one it adored,
For, envy already had consumed its heart,
An endless downward spiral,
Of uninspirational melancholy.

~ Umi

Undecided is,
The decision of a name,
Then, it must be blank.

~ Umi

From among the mountains,
A road to climb beyond the heavens above, is starlit,
A bridge of stars connects the sky, where no darkening clouds even dare to reach this scenery, yet my vision is clouded, for I cannot grasp the events of what is occuring undearneath me,
If this earth were to shake I am sure I would be unaware of it,
Until I were to step down from this wondrous dream of an illusion without any pain or hardship, a mirage of a lifeless landscape,
Air so thin it takes your breath, silently, relentlessly,
Trees embrace the mountainside alike a span of green sleeves,
I am sure, the noise of life is what is embracing me once I am at the lowest point, as the scent of blooming flowers spreads throughout the land, though the sunshine might be taken away by the sky if I stay,
So I chose a life in isolation, taking my own voice to watch the prideful light of the morning glow warm my lonesome skin,
Unheard and unseen by anyone, only because of the fear;
That rainclouds could wash away what little happiness I fathom,
Yet, the price for such foolishness deemed itself too high,
As I lost vision, of what else is beautiful,
The cycle of life.

~ Umi

The prideful sun sets,
As life returns to the desert.
Harsh heat is fleeting.

~ Umi

A clear trail left in trance is how I shall form words,
Elegantly, majestically casting them onto a blank paper, focused on creating poetry, a time recording friend has gone missing,
Now the lonely sound of my scratching against the thin paper, lead by transience of its decay is the only sound we can hear.
What once was a world to create fantasy has drowned, black as ink into the darkness of a never ending tale, time and time again,
As if to hold on to embers, scared to lose all light when the last one goes out, for a cold, uninspired, spiriling dark of ones mind,
With the mission to accompany her throughout each and every writing as it unfurls, comes to life and simply blossoms in pride,
As I see a smile cast on her face, the determination to keep going alightens a flame, but unceartenty overcomes my weakened body,
When the trace of my mark begins to fade, I wonder how long it will be, until there is nothing more to say, do or think about,
Even if this dreamlike tale of endless, ongoing poetry were never to end or falter, never to be distorted nor interrupted;
Even if you don't have to die in a dream,
one is bound to wake up sooner or later,
As a tired hand carelessly, roughly, lays me down,
I wonder how many poems one can write,
Before running out of the ink of the mind.

~ Umi

Feeling a small breeze,
The loud thunder rushes by,
As the wind is gaining speed,
And heavy rain cools the ground,
A flash blinds my tired eyes,
The king of the storm,
Lightning, dances from cloud to cloud,
When underneath it,
A painted world is washed away.

~ Umi

Far away, in a painted world,
Lies a kingdom abandoned by its people,
What is left, are but ruins,
And forgotten history.

~ Umi

It just takes one blow,
As ashes cover sunlight,
The sky starts to burn.

~ Umi

What mess we made by keeping it burning,
Let it consume us, kept us from ever turning,
Abandoned by God, our souls are now but ash,
Dedicated ourselves to its warmth and light,
Turned away from the darkness for it did cause fright,
Yet, in the end, it did not survive another linking,
It started to flicker, then engaged with blinking,
At last, it's dying embers gave away their last heat,
Some of us were torn by this, others simply beat,
For a new age of men would start soon,
An age with neither the shining sun, nor the elusive moon,
The greatest fear for us was of the unknown,
Yet some of us felt love, never before seen or shown,
We had hidden in light for so long,
Blinded by it, we never experienced how beautiful the dark could be.

~ Umi

Gaze into the sky,
And you will find countless stars,
Waiting behind an illuminated cealing,
For their moment to shine, when the time is right.

~ Umi

The dark shortly settles after sunset,
Such makes the world become a colder but gentle place for the tired souls to rest,
Another cycle ends, but today a night supposedly covered in stars whom bathe the galaxy with their magnificence and light are nowhere to be seen,
Devoid of all but an affable drizzle the wind howls in sorrow,
The last flame and its ember hiss at this change, unwelcoming the loss of their brilliance and luminosity, the passion and energy,
A tired pen recording these events snaps its feather,
For, casting lacking words onto decaying paper would do no justice,
Bittersweet memories, immortalized beneath these pages, are in no means lost, even after departure,
Hoping to spark a light for those who seek to read them,
Until finally, a whole new cycle begins,
And the dawn brings back the light,
To this abyssal void.

~ Umi

A disconnected future,
Beholds a world of dying embers,
Of a passion burning only so strong,
The pocket watch of blood, eversince dried up,
Time has come to an absolute standstill,
Yet, our precious memories are timeless,
As we move on from that past.

~ Umi

A voile for my precious books,
One curtain to protect my poor skin from the world,
It hurts to see the light of day, to breathe fresh air of life,
Thus I stay inside, and read to no end,
So my mind can be cloaked in a realm of knowledge and fantasy,
A frozen flame quietly flickers within my chest,
Awaiting the arrival of the night at last,
So I can wander around under the luminous moon,
And not be afraid of any pain,
On this lonely road.

~ Umi

Perfect balance can easily be ruined,
With just one adjustment into the wrong direction,
Crooked, alike tilted glass,
Is the pain of betrayal.

~ Umi

One check of my accomplishments,
But furthermore a verification for skills,
The art of conversation shall be my judge,
And my experience so far my partner in crime,
As the master of this angelic pen I'll suffice,
Even if they find me underwhelmed,
Or leave with disappointment without another word,
It is only proof, I have too much to improve to give up!
One way or the other, I find my hand guide the way,
With gentle movements, a delicate caligraphy has been created,
Thus, a deep breath, calming my tired nerves, helps me relax,
A clear mind is required for a difficult task after all,
And so, my hand gently, softly calls for the cover of this pen,
Time flew past without distraction, confidently,
Handing away this work I wait for the results,
Starting to become nervous down to my very core,
What if it wasn't good enough?

~ Umi

To sink in battle and not by a flash was what I yearned for if I ever were to fall, truly it devoured everything in its gruesome way,
And so, it gobbled up the wishful dream of a prideful defeat,
In the end, I truly wasn't able to protect those I fought for all these years, all these countless battles and tragedies, are a fading memory,
These shameful last moments; handed to the enemy and sat on their testing bench, with my last hope being, the wish that the world may has understood something more important than the agony of war.
Even if the damage could be repaired and parts exchanged, brought anew and even if we make it back in one piece without capsizing:
The damage is painted in my steel, and forever will be a reminder of this fateful day, a sky without any sunlight; perfect darkness,
Perhaps this is the punishment for one who survived without protecting her friends, her partners in crime and her loved ones,
At least, the recorded history will ensure not being forgotten,
Here in my wet prison, these thoughts will never fade.
The ocean floor is a harsh, unforgiving grave..

~ Umi

Within an unclouded darkness,
This is where I'd find rest, a somber, unending sky above me leads the way into the everlasting night, promising a forgotten dream,
For it is warming, even comforting; the bitter grasp of loneliness,
Laughing endlessly, throbbing in the dark, this figure of hatred now resented by life itself wriggled in the lost moonlight of the abyss,
Unfading scars, pure fury are what has driven me this far and beyond, for a hellfire is burning me up inside, yet, this hole in my chest, this numbing, all consuming pain won't let me go,
A petty figure, who has gotten rid of all emotions just so she could awaken in this emotionless void as who she is now,
One after another my companions fell to the chains of fate,
They were just hopeful dreamers who saught a future of bliss,
And so my heart in love, consumed by agony and hate, died.
If I only forgave you of all people, I could be myself again!
But until then, I will wander around this pure dark,
To seek revenge for my reflection,
The abyss is a calming exile.

~ Umi

The allure moon,
Dashes through the tepid nightsky of Autumn,
Just to sink into the horizon, bidding us farewell,
What remains, is but a starlit, cold night.

~ Umi

Today, I closed my open eye of the heart,
To hide from this terrifying world, saddened by corruption,
I wander unnoticed, unseen, forgotten, like a rock beside the road,
Selfless love, whimsical wandering, a carefree dream,
Looking past all this hatred sealed in each heart,
Past all worries and troubled faces along the throughfare,
Unanswered love calls for growing pain,
While losing ones thoughts and motives may as well spirit them away, into a scenery unrivaled, unseen far from imagination,
But like a subterarean rose wishing to see the comforting sunlight,
I cannot be remarked but by the strong, brave feeling of hope,
Walking into the remote future, at last I can feel alive,
For, I can now no longer be hated, or even be loved,
By the people who saw me, knew me,
I am truly by myself now,
Below the conscious.

~ Umi

Strengh has fallen to our knees, faith has us poisoned,
Thirst for power made us weak, dependend on corruption,
Because we deserted those who longed for a hopeful future.

~ Umi

A wall made of my happiest thoughts,
Closing in, a broken environment collapsing at last,
A hole in the ceiling allows a closer look,
To the freedom lost in mere seconds,
Trapped within one's self, unable to escape,
The hollow body wanders through the landscape,
Seeking for a piece to become whole again,
Searching for the fragments of a shattered conscious,
Never succeeding in this mighty mission,
Endlessly, fleeting through the despair of incompletion,
Erased colors draw a grey painted world,
Whilst the incarcerated one suffers with each step taken,
Not being able to open one's eyes, nor even protect the heart once embodied by the enlighting feeling of love,
Fallen into the endless abyss, unable to advance,
These happy thoughts mark the end,
And also the very beginning,
Of eternal slumber.

~ Umi

A shaking sensation,
Beautiful, tiny long legs dance their way up,
To the ceiling, waiting for the covering darkness,
In order to hunt small pests, with a resistant web.

~ Umi

Isn't making sense over so little irrational ?
Then again, with the constant change of life is there such a thing as being completely, or even partly rational to begin with ?
Perhaps not, all what is thought of it are social standards which in themselves differ from each culture in each country in a small world,
Those unlikely to advance are left in darkness all by themselves,
Rotting within the terror of their mind, shunned by interaction,
With the simple wish to be considered normal, to feel the way most of their many encounters of human beings do every single day,
As a result, they may further distance themselves and define each other as an inhuman, resented by life, losing the last light of hope,
Such is a cycle of despair, a downward spiral of lost emotions,
What does it take to enjoy just one more day, one more moment,
Before quitting it all the same, leaving without trace,
After all a demon like me has no place
In this beautiful world.

~ Umi

The big seven vessels,
Whom struck fear within their foes,
Scrapped without notice

~ Umi

Living without experiencing failiure or pain
Leads to a life of no accomplishment,
Is this battle over, or did it just begin ?
Frankly, one has to keep fighting internally,
The things yet to be experienced are widespread,
Like the stars in the sky, the large sahara desert,
Pay heed to your fragile hearts,
Otherwise you'll end up one day,
As a hollow figure given consciousness,
Unable to further advance,
An image of nothingness.

~ Umi

For better or worse this track has come to halt,
Searching far and wide of the of this promising light,
The joy and pleasure it brought, the happiness and warmth,
Cannot be recovered, are lost due time, lost due carelessness,
Impossible requests without reward, a day that never ends,
Nothing but a realisation, of the highest and the lowest point,
There is nowhere farther to go, no rising for something new,
The welcoming darkness expands the path, far beyond the ledge,
Shameful steps, tap delicately towards the inevitable edge,
A returning life, with nothing but a body ever lost,
One selfish wish amongst many to overstep the border of nightmares,
What can be gained, is bound to be lost somewhere in time,
Misery and pain, carried by short moments of bliss and happiness,
Are to be forever left in darkness with those unfortunate souls,
Whom see no light or belief in the future ahead,
Despite that, isn't living terrifyingly beautiful ?

~ Umi

I will disappear,
When the night strikes once again,
And spirit away.

~ Umi

Under the drifting clouds, even though the ages may fade,
With this unchanging life I can keep shining for you,
Who am I shining for, what may be my real purpose ?
Leaving these questions unanswered, the river of time drags me into its consuming pull, slowly swallowing me as a whole,
My conpanions were dreamers who were seeking the same future,
But time did tell, they fell one by one, only their will remains,
And so the figure of hatred, whom had failed such a noble task and cause, creeps around the night, resented by life itself
Sound melts into silence as the world around me already has lost its lovely colour, as the beautiful flowers wither, no stars glitter,
These selected words were taken from a paradise I'd lost sight of,
I've been given the great freedom, to sink now ever so brilliantly,
When everything ends, I ask you to hear out my request,
Please, forget me.

Yours Truly; Umi

Running out of Ideas,
My soul yells at me to keep writing,
And so I follow its command into the depths of nihilism,
Into the depths of the meaningless, nothingness
My pen follows a gentle touch led by my tired hand,
Tired eyes gaze at the paper destined to be read by noone,
So I question myself, what is the cause to still keep going ?
The truest form of writing is for one's self after all,
But sharing made them worthwhile furthermore,
Now I have no one to share with, no one to bore,
When the last leafs were falling, my creativity bid farewell,
Now there is no meaning to the stories of wisdom I try to tell,
But, at least one spark still lightens my lonesome way,
If but one soul can take inspiration from this madness,
From the lonely thoughts of my being, cast into reality,
Then I shall listen to my dying heart and stop moving this pen,
With the last breath I take.

~ Umi

A fading scenery,
A Christmas covered in the warm rain of a late autumn,
The moon, in a last effort tries to shine his silver, gentle light upon this desolated landscape, drenched in puddles of muddy water,
Meadows drown under this heavy rain, unable to find salvation,
And even now, there are no traces of winter to be found,
An early spring means bad news for the birds and the bees, trying to do their work as best and hard as their tiny bodies allow,
But with no winter, is it possible for them to simply "vanish" ?
So the snow waits to fall upon a newfound wasteland,
Covered in mud and dying plants which fail to grow,
Upon the carcass of the animals whom couldn't find rest.
Thus the time passed, whilst this scenario repeated itself in my head,
Over and over I tried to collect my thoughts as I stared into the seemingly never ending storm outside, raging on with might,
Having lost myself in this sleepless fantasy ,
I didn't even see the snowfall
When the sun rose

~ Umi

The biggest value of life might be forgotten about,
But it's passing with every ticking of each glock,
Every seconds shifts into a memory, of either sweet dreams or nightmares, accompanying one for a lifetime if not forgotten about,
We fokus on work, on studying and about planning ahead whilst forgetting about the most important thing, slowly fading away,
Time is transient, and surely one will run out of it without notice,
So treasure each careful step, each breath and each heartache,
Feeling the joy and pain in life makes us more human after all,
Take a break, watch the sun, slowly, gently setting beyond the scene,
Even if you might think you have no purpose, you can always create one for yourself and be satisfied with your being
And when the cooler, starlit night softly takes over this shining world
Close your eyes and spirit away into a realm of sweetness,
Some see sleep as a waste of time, however it might be for another the greatest treasure this life, this whole existence beholds for them,
A land of fantasy and greatness far better than the pleasure of living,
Maybe because we have infinite time there,
Or, perhaps it's the realisation that..
I don't need to die in a dream

~ Umi

A toment endured soul corrupted by sadness,
Finds the end of it's journey by its own salvation,
In a garden where the withering flowers sink down to rest,
Stuck in between worlds, unable to ever advance,
Restless whilst resting, it soon will break apart without notice,
Numb without pain, yet painful memories weigh down on it,
The sunlight simply is out of reach, hidden behind thunder clouds,
A broken conscious, a slipping dream, cry out for anyones help,
Sound melts into silence, with the truth being unspoken,
Reality shifts into illusion, as day follows gently by night,
And even now, this spirit isn't able to see any light,
Drowning in this cold rain, it will soon be swept away,
Far and distant, losing itself in this wandering frangnance,
Oh life, will you not replace me ?
Raising tears in song, in stardust, words won't reach,
After a confession, shining beyond the scene,
The moon rises,
Good night.

~ Umi

Love and hate are blind,
But the truth is engulfed in every heart,
Envy or jealousy can poison the purest mind,
A green eyed monster, rampaging from the inside,
Grudges, destroying the sweet, humble and even the kind,
This malice attacks in the dark of the night, slowly taking over waiting for you to get down, get weak and give up without a fight,
Unsteadiness and despair are it's fuel, insecurity and vexation its light
This green eyed monster is invisible, how will you fight something you can't even see, hear or smell but only feel, strongly within ?
The purity of friendship overcomes even such evil as envy,
Before it leads to your own demise find some help, even if its hard
even if these horrible feelings are weighing down on you heavily,
But for those who have nobody, and those who are lonely,
Is a simple solution, even harder to bear with,
Cut off whatever made you feel this curse,
Do it before it gets even worse,
Face the coming morning.

~ Umi

If only your mind were to be sure to exist,
Wouldn't you be destined to be forever lonely ?
Everything you know and learned to love would simply be an extention of your very own consciousness, your psyche,
The fabric of this reality would be nothing but a fantasy,
That of course, might be a wishful thinking to some, however,
With the harsh fate would come a worse realization,
Abandoned, layered upon a dusty tone, the fabric of your mind,
If you then were to suddenly just shut down your conscious,
Even your own reality would cease to exist further,
Such thing could never be, but be sure not to forget,
Everyone lives depending on mostly their knowledge and awareness and we call this " reality ", however,
Both knowledge and awareness are aquivocal,
That means one's reality might be anothers illusion
So how can we really be sure, to exist  ?

~ Umi