Destiny is just a word
of simplicity
that is abused like a drunk ****
my words are angry
and as the door shut
she walked
silently
cat and mouse
violently
"Get up brown haired woman,
you're lipstick is smashed
Go vaporise your alcohol breath
in a dark black hole where you are trapped"
I'm lost, and as I wonder
I stumble upon a white owl
magnificent and winter-like
He speaks
Wise and serene
I begged him,
bury me deep underneath the frozen snow
where destiny cannot reach
He denied my proposal
But promised me destiny instead.

I told you not to forget
but you did,
a letter resigned in a drawer,
a story left to grow dust
and words to vaporise
like they were never written
and meant one thing.

I liked our kaleidoscope moments,
candy-colours in triangles and circles,
melting stained glass
but you broke it,
dropped it on the floor or something
and we couldn't fix it,
those reds and greens and golds
a sprinkled memory
at the back of our brains.

So we used a spinning top
and watched it ****
upon the table,
round and round
but it slowed,
staggering
like a man intoxicated
and it fell from the wooziness,
too sick to go on.

So we played chess
even though I am mediocre at it
and I was white,
you were black,
the little kings, queens, bishops
forced forwards by our fingers
until they didn't want to play anymore,
back in the box please,
and you won, of course,
you won every game with ease.

Said we'd play again sometime
but you didn't remember
and I bought a new kaleidoscope too,
just for us to use
but you forgot didn't you,
it happened again.

She turns her eyes
I vaporise
and realise
everyone dies in the end.

I tend to carp and criticise
it hurts
I see that in her eyes
I vaporise.

I die in my lines and
bring death to the rhymes,
at times
it hurts even more
than the eyes
I adore,

she turns her eyes
I vaporise.

A white abstract silence falls heavily like phosphorous snow… odd and oblique with nervous intensity of random limitations… sensitive and fragile in its unremitting generosity…A fluency of motion of imaginary realisation in silent turbulence descends in tenebrous shadows of illusion detonating the unconscious… the symmetry and exactitude of silence beyond all compass…. an intricate camouflage… meticulous and consistent.

Disinherited it tries to sanctify the air….. a silence in where stars evaporate vibrational loud and inquisitive…. freezing time by the velocity of its inner momentum of silent adrenalin.

Concealing its true identity isolating me in unknown realisation of what is to occur.. It resonates with constant tension waiting for unpredictability’s of indispensible voices that don’t speak….. This is a realisation of the imagination…. a vibrant insensibility…. density of unravelled thoughts that vaporise within me causing a vibration that fractures the equation of time and space in the burning crucible of my mind.

Intractable proportions of silent thought…. hovering… a constant mirage of irrational calculations….. This silence forces all the tears of consequence to fall upon my face with no avail…..Then in this thunderous silence see graffiti on white walls…abstract and meaningless….Like primitive lives…those with meaning yet possess no meaning… an ungovernable democracy of fruitless endeavour… of non factual fastidiousness… a glimpse of life and its fallacy.

Yet the words were spoken and written… by whom… And for why.. Now the silence punctuates and instructs…. phosphorous extinguishes itself and hides behind another truth…..The noise of the world cascades in torrents deafening… attempting to defeat… subordinate the senses in atavistic cruelty… Prowling searching for the silence… but it has gone…. disappeared in the imagination of my inner self…. an abstraction I call me….. But I know where the silence has gone….

A declaration of benevolence
For a boy deprived of affection
Who is urged to bare his heart.
"I don't care"
Are just words verbalised in a manner
Seemingly self-convincing;
A facade of strength
When it's clear he's in pieces,
In despair, falling apart,
Trying as hard as he can to seem okay.
Mesmerising eyes express it all.
Occasionally one must hold their tongue
For holding your tongue is easily done
When one must deny feelings
Out of fear of challenging rejection.
Because both are apprehensive
In the face of emotion.
And she tries fervently to destroy walls
So resolutely built
With a motive of keeping out those with fabricated feelings,
While he didn't have to try very hard
To vaporise barricades of hers.
But how can it be demonstrated
That her sole intention
Is to show him devotion?

Burn me before her like a candle in the darkness,
Let her know that I am dissipating every singular solitary moment in her darkness.,
And I am giving away myself every moment to illuminate her darkness....
Only to know that she is utterly insatiable,
And I cannot throw light into her darkness...
I am just a candle and she wants galaxies,
She was there only to consume my light unless I infuse completely myself in to her abysmal ground and vaporise my light strikingly into her darkness...
She is a black hole where I couldn't escape from her gravitational pull,
and I don't want to escape either because of the same cause.....
Let her relish every moment of my disintegration into that darkness....
Let her relish the truth that I am gone from her forever....(but I cannot go)
And the truth that she never felt that I was with her at least would strike her now....

Like the ice sheets, I will ablate and vaporise.
Borne by prevailing winds, I will aviate and rise.
With your radiating love I’m steaming anew,
In atmospheric dance cascading towards you,
Coalesced like cold misted droplets, to get there.

In the last few years
I have written
My thoughts and the many emotions
Sometimes I have let them flow
in words I know
Other times have let them simmer and vaporise
There is Knowledge gained and wisdom too
Many times both evade, dimmed by hazy thoughts
Lessons that I have learned and try to implement
To never share the joys and sorrows
with people who don’t understand, neither
And that knowledge and ignorance can both be bliss
When gained
And when one learns to ignore

I can no longer hide
this feeling or silence.
With your touch and love,
affections seize warmth.
My soul ignited.

Once disparaged
estranged to another.
But with these distances,
coupling unparalleled angst.
I long to share it,
I want to hear you,
pull me closer now.

The chills in my spine
put into these words.
Lips on your skin.
Eyes brimmed with sin
Fingers slide over,
Lights fade out,
Loved you forever
say it out loud.

What is this sensation?
You drip colors I cannot perceive.
Heightening my passion,
enhancing my believes.
Dew drops vaporise
unhinged fly two beings,
Blending in this night sky.  

My tomorrow's mistakes,
will they break this cage.
Expressions of lust,
Consumed this way.
Hollow mortals,
Filled with divine flames.

Too consumed
In the colour of flesh
You do not fear it
I can hear the rush.
Mesmerizing aesthesia ,
now i hear them often.
Our souls combust
to this timeless dust.

©__payn

It's no good being squeamish about squelching as your eyes open on sweat filled sockets, drying myself I am crying, the heat at this time of the day is awfully trying, did you notice how I didn't fukin swear about the heat?

and so good for the diet
I lost four pints of water
you really should
try it.

Men,
I smell them
some whiff
phew
and
some stink too
so
what they could do
is deodorise,
but
in this heat they just might
vaporise.

Prom is two days away
and I’m telling Charlie to get a ******* move on
because this equipment won’t set itself up
and that his **** guitar needs tuning
for the billionth time
and that we only have time for three songs
(the three that we’ve been practising)
in his uncle’s garage for the past month or so
and how we need to get a **** move on
because we’re faffing like stupid flies around a stupid light

I am the drummer
at the back whacking the cymbals
   Charlie’s front and centre
all Jagger-strut spit-flinging
giving the microphone an earful
   Paul’s on bass
body popping like Flea
fingers red-hot fiddling the strings
half pro half nervous tic

the staff have given the go ahead
first track’s a la Jerry Lee
beat careening off from the gym walls
rockabilly kick that’ll pull the girls
away from their ******* phones for a while
then we’ll segue into something more grunge
Kurt Cobain half-slur moan and groan
that’s if the night hasn’t slid
into some hazy hive of idle teens
awards for most attractive
most likely to end up on reality TV
doled out before the limo back home

that’s when they’ll blink at their ceilings
in the first dustings of morning
their ******* bodies aching
from robotic dancing and kebab shop crap
know the names that danced on their tongues
will vaporise before long
and you know
I’ll be one of those poor suckers
but first there is rock followed by roll
if we get a ******* move on

.                  Futile


       Anxiety is a vertigo

       droplets experience

  when looking downwards

   from arches of rainbows

     before deciding to fall,

   vaporise, and repeat the

cycle for their entire lifetimes.