I’ve always wanted to have a friend
Someone who’d be there until the end
A companion through moments of hardship
Not a deserter who just decides to skip
I’ve always wanted to have a friend
Someone who’s loyalty would never bend
Together with trustworthiness and honesty
He’s not a deceitful liar who just manipulates me
I’ve always wanted to have a friend
To have a bond no price could comprehend
For neither money, nor jewelry could ever replace
A friendship’s bond, an everlasting embrace
I gave you my reliance
I supplied you with my sword
You showed me your trustworthiness
You sewed my soiled heart
I turn away; you turn around and stab me in the back
So many loyal qualities I never saw, you lack
I, though, was hurt by my assumption
For the sword in which you put your trust
Will be the sword of your destruction
I look into your eyes and I see
Those wonderful Amsonia tabernaemontana.
One of your eyes is called trustworthiness,
The other one is confidence.
I look into your eyes and I swear that I see your soul.
I look into your uplifting spirit and I see
The sunny sky and the soothing ocean
Of your sunny love and your soothing melancholy.
I look into this melancholic love and I see
My dream of becoming the woman of your dreams.
I see two little birds of Araucana Chilean
Trying to leave their blue eggs
I want to meet you all over again;
like it never happened that way in the first place.
Some alternate time and reality,
where logic didn't apply,
simply because we didn't need its boundaries anymore.
all those words and smoke,
and rum and coke,
could have just stayed choked down
and I wouldn't have to endure
these lonely thing's:
in that place
at that time
something great could have happened,
and it all would have been left there.
Like all those wonderful dreams no one ever remembers having
and all those wonderful feelings and sensations
no one has felt, and so never will fiend for;
but then we wouldn't be here would we?
In this great silver lined grave
we have dug for ourselves
hoping some overlooked imperfection
could let us
just climb our way right back out
into the midst of the crowd
Within the air, defined with moss and lichen, and casualties of wet rotting wood-depletion on the dregs of the summit, is a flicker of reality. Here, no naked cedars or fair-weather friends are bent and leaning along the sturdy, unadorned spines of rifle green spruces. The stone-crushed trail takes above the haze of tree lines, founding a path by and beyond the fickle trustworthiness of rocks, and the wind carries all of fog and cloud away, and whispers like one thousand ghosts, and deceives the shrouded mountain’s inclines, unfolding above unto the soft clarity of dew and silence. The only reality is a place where the neck can ease its craned crooked coils to view the now-seemingly distant and muted pale orb of a star. And nothing here cannot breathed with. And nothing that can’t be understood is here amongst the scarred-ancient black cliffs and fissions of olden earth-crust and time. And nothing scales above the lonely, opening a prayer in the sky and the space.
I've never seen it.
Maybe long ago, when a shy smile
sent us down the longest mile.
So he calls me.
Maybe I was at a time.
I said "I love you..." and suddenly we climbed.
I just know it.
His trustworthiness knows no bounds.
I stubbornly doubt, but he pulls me out,
He always makes sure we avoid the drought.
He likes to say.
The sun in his eyes, he assumes beauty
Lies underneath the blinding brilliance.
I fear my fun exterior has him in a trance.
My brutal honesty could never maim
His clever wit, nor put it to shame.
So who is he?
He lives in the future, restless and unsettled.
He lives in my mind, alive and real.
He is all that I need,
I just have to wish and hope and plead.
Dark - Dark - Dark -
Lost within the dark;
Riding on a steed of the darkest velvet -
Of the darkest emotion.
Deep - Deep - Deep -
Swirling into the deep oblivion;
Twisting deeper down under -
Deep down to the lowest level of cyanide.
Fly - Fly - Fly -
Fly away to a season of bliss;
Flutter into the wind of uncertainty -
Tear the pages of fate and destiny then flush, flutter, fly.
Away - Away - Away -
Far away to a majestic paradise of warranty;
Away to a night of desolation -
Never to wander any farther than away.
Writing - Writing - Writing -
Scribbling a melody of peace and warfare;
Sending a written requiem -
Hoping the perished write back.
Trust - Trust - Trust -
Sleep inside a swollen state of trustworthiness;
Don’t trust a nymph who lies beneath their lips -
Don’t trust your self-conciseness.
Fly Away from the Deep, Dark, Trust of Writing.
Dark - Deep - Fly - Away - Write - Trust:
White letters in a blue box on a white screen
Tell me what you cannot speak
But wish to say
They speak of untold desires for me
They leave me as "astonished" as my beauty is according to you
They insist I am perfection
That you'll always come back for me
And in one of the blue boxes
You tell me something unreal.
You say you seek the light in everyone
And that I possess the brightest light of any you have seen
The light of good intentions, good in an evil world like a lighthouse to a seaman in a storm
Light Seeker, you flatter me
Kind words, respect, honesty, trustworthiness, depth, genius
I am sinking fast
To me, you are a ship's lamp
Hardy fire within
Dusty on the outside
But warm beneath thick glass
I might be falling again
Catch me, will you?
It's easy to say I love you when you are face to face.
It's easy to say I love you when you are inside someone.
It's easy to say I love you when they are caring for you.
It's easy to say I love you when the butterflies are in your
stomach and every waking moment is consumed with one another.
But it's not easy to say I love you when they want nothing to do with you.
It's not easy to say I love you when you know they don't love you.
It's not easy to say I love you when it's been a consistent battle to
It's not easy to say I love you when you always choose guys who
make you feel less than you are.
It's not easy to say I love you when I have been waiting four years for
you to feel anything for me.
And it certainly is not easy to say I love you when there is an ocean
separating the two of us.
I don't love you because I need you, I need you because I love you.
Love is not a feeling, or an emotional connection, or an opportunity not to be alone.
Love is dedication, a choice to knit your heart and soul to another because
nobody else can compare to the joy, peace, affection, and trustworthiness that you have.
So I love you. I love you. I love you.
You may never read this, but it's the deepest part of my love for you.
And tonight you will be in my thoughts, when falling asleep
Brightly the glowing moon, and stars will shine down upon me
Captivating the atmosphere shall be, and I will be with you
Dreaming of you and only you, you the one I adore, my love
Exceptional thus my night shall be, and tomorrow will be lovely
Father says, be careful with my heart, and choose friends wisely
Generously he gives me his love, a love so beautiful and so pure
Heavenly all my thoughts, fantasies and dreams embody me
Incredibly now, I see with new eyes, and I see my fallacy
Juxtaposition was my dream versus reality, and not a fantasy
Knowing actions speak louder than words, is most important
Loving others more than loving oneself is life's purpose
"Marvelous are all my friends, father," I say with a smile
"Noble are your statements my dear child," says father
"Overwhelmingly sweet you can be at times, my dear," says he
Pleasing father has always been my goal, since I was a small child
Quietness was my mind, becoming more at peace after our talk
Reassurances of my father's love always makes me feel happy
Simply stated, to one most special, you will mean the world
Trustworthiness and loyalty are something I value most highly
Understanding with communication, I know is the key to happiness
Virtuous qualities and love is better than diamonds, gold or silver
Words you speak, finer than gold and silver, both melt in envy
Xoxo, still in my heart, my feelings for you, always will be
You have captured my imagination and haven't set it free
Zzzzzzz, tonight I shall dream of you, sleep peacefully, and smile
A vacant gaze my recent reflection in an embrace that seems more like a courtesy than affection ,
My insides an arid well , spent,
are the wishes and dreams
Leaving only the stone walls and empty echoes
Of a heart that still beats her name.
Her mind somehow made up,
No longer is it only me that that she wants , and in my heart , I never was ,
Seems like now , all the excuses she used to find a way to talk to me , are now the excuses not to.
She says she doesn't know what the future holds , to me it isn't a future without her to hold.
Always just a part of her life , but never part of " our " life apart.
When did I stop being special ?
When did loyalty , trustworthiness, and respect become something toxic in a relationship ?
Maybe when I expected the same?
We danced together to music in our minds , tied together in a kindred spirits gala.
Drawn to her all my life
My compass , always with her pointed north
As hopeless as a lighthouse in the fog
My tears ?
So many a night lost in a confusion ,
Rejected was my overwhelming affection , and just the plain willingness to " do " for her.
She wanted a friend with benefits, I wanted the benefit of being in love with my best friend.
When did love become so underrated, when did my affection stop being appreciated ?
When did my love stop being returned ?
I drink my tears , from the cup of my broken heart , as I notice the love " gone " from her gaze , and I keep asking myself
" when " ??????
It is here I feel safe.
Here, nestled, flush against your side
a living mass of embodied affection,
you do not move; patiently, you wait.
with the ear of an entrusted confidante, you listen
you let me pour forth the secrets of my being, the hidden woes, those burdens that no one knows...
and most times?
I don't need to utter a word.
With all the gentleness a mother cradles her treasure, you gently string back together
those pieces of my heart
with nigh a word- you needn't utter a one.
The trustworthiness in your body, solid, firm against mine.
The solace in the calm of your eye, keeping watch over my broken body.
The comfort in your warmth, a constant ember- ablaze in your hearth, all for my own.
They'll never know
all those secrets I keep
desires, dreams, nightmares, prayers...
they walk on four paws.