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someday I'll get higher than life itself and all the whimpering willows and giggling nymphs will surround me and perform their water dances as I purify the fallen river with light rays of silver that extend longingly from my fingertips, and the green of the sky will wave a hasty goodbye as the darkness fades into the sun, and the little brown shoes of the musical fairies get lost in the swaying fields of devotion, making a home among other dreams lost or forgotten in the days past, but they feed and flow into this river of mine and serve as nutrition for the rays to align, aligning in purpose and star-dusted as gold.
06-13-19
feeling incompetent
being alone
being too crowded
feeling overwhelmed or stressed
slow people when you're in a rush
allergies
not seeing eye to eye
sociopaths
parents and siblings
false accusations
jealousy
people who are:
- richer than you
- smarter than you
- prettier than you
- happier than you
- smoother than you
- more laid back than you
- cooler than you
- younger than you
- older than you
- dumber than you
- self-obsessed
- arrogant
- ignorant
- famous
- in love
school and work
being *****
rainy or snowy days
when a store is closed that you wanted to go to
when a restaurant is out of something
when people mispronounce your name
when people assume things
functioning when tired
when people act like you don't know anything
people who don't want to have a conversation
people who keep talking to you when you keep giving hints
when you run into someone you hate
hating someone
when someone hates you
rumors
heavy bags
delayed flights
car accidents
homeless people
drawing a blank
wanting to know everything and not having enough time
feeling inferior
failing at something you keep trying to learn
learning something new
embarrassing yourself
embarrassing someone else on accident
when people expect too much from you
bad hair days
people that smell bad
running out of money
feeling helpless
feeling lost
actually getting lost
political oppositions
***** hotels
unpaved streets
potholes
happy people
gossip
laundry
craving something you can't get
bugs
buzzing mayflies
****** Chinese food
media bias
uncomfortable social situations
parties
get-togethers and kick-backs
not getting drunk enough
a skipping CD
losing a game
not knowing where to start
breakups
when a good band starts to ****
blurry pictures
files that won't open
poor connection
website cookies
social medias
******* twitter arguments
feminist movies
****** quality on GarageBand
watching a movie on YouTube that is sped up or distorted
having no food in the house
wanting your friends to leave you alone
when your boyfriend needs space
******* up a painting
making mistakes
summer reading
foreign languages
bad music
celebrities
blue states
having too much stuff to carry
grocery shopping and getting gas
unfriendly workers
being judged
waking up early
family member
a feeling
excitement
a friend
a boyfriend
embarrassment
a game
keys and wallet
respect
trust
your mind
motivation
an idea
a memory
a battle
a race
an election
jealousy
an attitude
a file
a will to live
your direction
directions in general
your own life
Madness wrapped itself around me
Like twisted branches on a forest tree.
Wind whistles through leaves on a dark Halloween
as my mind falls through hollow bodies.
Hollow bodies are picking at bark -
Pricking their fingers -
Awakening hummers from gentle unrest.

Leave the madness to me,
And a sacrifice will be made,
To the woman who stayed, and
Death will bind you to me.
06-12-19
Ruby Nemo May 31
Today woke me up without my consent
How dreadful is a day over the day before?
How tedious are my thoughts?
My love clutters the lives of the simple
Boys in foreign homes,
And they wish they could unsee me at all.
The travels of man do not matter,
So long as they unravel golden dreams.
A dream made of gold,
Too far out of reach.
My hopes live in the sky.
My heart underground.
05-04-2019
Ruby Nemo May 31
guilt leaks from my eyes
and I am veiled with blame
for good reason, to hell with my name.
let me wither
in your violet shadow
[ kept company by beautiful darkness,
and clothed in the whitest of white. ]
you've stolen my arms,
you've left me unarmed
and still you will fire away
[all of the gems in this world and regret
could never repay all my debt.]
05-2019
Ruby Nemo May 31
Today you slept in my bed for an hour.
When I tried to join you, you told me to leave you alone.
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