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"shirtsleeves" poems
navigator’s balcony cocktail hour rocket orbit ocean liner rising clenched no teeth no guernica no bam bam bam correspondent notary republic address book dial figure 8 charred with a thousand jigsaw pieces false as a beach chiaroscuro black on black graveyard womb naked milk glass lit footprint tourism by candlelight and flare vaccination fatigue puke fingernail fish moving a bandaged echo **** him **** her familiar bell music **** them both **** them all stretched shirtsleeves spanish toffee slashed tires (failure as a painter he shaved his wife’s fur coat) bust your ***** Barcelona red alert knock-kneed broken squeezebox no hands standing room only ladies first (please) unbuttoned interrogation coffee rolls (stop) marine’s vegetation (stop) early morning tea (stop) armless menus (stop) pink cathedral fingers (stop) and (begin again) move we move moving inside an eye this eye that advances step by step
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10.3k
primary colors
Let us go, Oedipus, let me walk you 'Twixt towers reaching to heaven, Where women are charged to be patient and perfect. You will not stay upon your leash. We walk through Mandalay, not Paris, Where the women have no face. 'Tis but a siren of emergency That sings to me. What worth I am to you, Oedipus, What worth am I to them? When the footman holds my coat, and snickers, What worth am I to them? Every man is a piece of the continent! She may love me for the dangers I have passed, And I her that she did pity them, But she cannot, now and forever. And while the sun excludes me, I am not them and they not I, And the waters do not glisten, She is their chattel and not mine. I gaze upon her ornate face and sing, Her eyes are pools of wonder that see me, and swing away. I am older, I have sense, Like Oedipus my King, But when I see her ornate face I very nearly sing. After many lonely nights In shirtsleeves and not silk, I went to her, and said: Here, take this silver, for my milk. And she may have loved me once But for my thought and sense, I'm but a bumblebee today - I left at some expense.
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Sep 17, 2010
Sep 17, 2010 at 6:04 AM UTC
Oedipus
You know what? I will fight Because it's difficult Because the lows are so ******* low Because the night air chills my damp shirtsleeves Because sometimes the walls are impenetrable Because I do it the hard way But really because He always says it back
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Mar 15, 2013
Mar 15, 2013 at 6:07 AM UTC
Olive
the kids that you didn't know existed all winter have been jail-sprung they litter the sidewalk like snowdrops riding miniature bikes with training wheels zipping up and down the street in their shirtsleeves the easter bunny coaxed them out into the park to search for treats but they decided to stay
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Mar 30, 2013
Mar 30, 2013 at 1:03 PM UTC
blossoms
ed, i "don't" know what me and my "little bird" would do without you cause' "uni" "take it back" to "grade 8"as you " kiss me" under the light of "all of the stars" cause' "i see fire" when we both collide and this "lego house" we had built for me you and this "small bump" so please don't "runaway" but if you do i understand cause' "even my dad does sometimes" but don't fly away forever like a "firefly" cause in the mornin' we'll sip some "cold coffee" or we can get "drunk" and you could "give me love" but you'd have to "wake me up" cause after all i am on "the a team" watching as "one" of the "autumn leaves" fall slowly down and i realize that "im a mess" so please don't "runaway" we could take a "photograph" with "the man" and "Nina" or we could look at the "tenerife sea" while we acknowledge our "afire love" and then i will pull up my "shirtsleeves" and you can feel my "bloodstream" and maybe we could "sing" what? i guess this whole time i was "thinking out loud"
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May 24, 2015
May 24, 2015 at 6:53 PM UTC
a tribute to ed sheeran
This wild night, gathering the washing as if it were flowers animal vines twisting over the line and slapping my face lightly, soundless merriment in the gesticulations of shirtsleeves, I recall out of my joy a night of misery walking in the dark and the wind over broken earth, halfmade foundations and unfinished drainage trenches and the spaced-out circles of glaring light marking streets that were to be walking with you but so far from you, and now alone in October's first decision towards winter, so close to you-- my arms full of playful rebellious linen, a freighter going down-river two blocks away, outward bound, the green wolf-eyes of the Harborside Terminal glittering on the Jersey shore, and a train somewhere under ground bringing you towards me to our new living-place from which we can see a river and its traffic (the Hudson and the hidden river, who can say which it is we see, we see something of both. Or who can say the crippled broom-vendor yesterday, who passed just as we needed a new broom, was not one of the Hidden Ones?) Crates of fruit are unloading across the street on the cobbles, and a brazier flaring to warm the men and burn trash. He wished us luck when we bought the broom. But not luck brought us here. By design clean air and cold wind polish the river lights, by design we are to live now in a new place.
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2.1k
From the Roof
i like that the freckles on your face match the ones on your back, and no two freckles are the same like snowflakes your kisses are soft and wet. you said my full name is pretty, and i like how it sounds when you say it i'd let you call me by it if you asked. you drank all my wine but what you didn't know is that wine was already yours you gave me head on the floor in my bedroom, you pick the best songs to kiss to. i like the way you say 'jasmines' a quieter part of me wonders how you would go about pronouncing every flower, and how long it would take i would stay till the end i didn't expect to feel anything when you said i was just your friend you laid your head in my lap, and my thighs grew feelings all around you but you run your fingers through your tangleless hair, and all my feelings fall to the floor i will tuck them into my shirtsleeves, wear them like a friendship bracelet we're just friends till nightfall, by midnight i'm your favorite. i am not a tender thing to you, and i won't tell you that i want to be so long as you continue to say my name so softly
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May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 4:25 AM UTC
i like how it sounds when you say it
“I need to write a poem” Were the first words out of my mouth when my mother told me about The Letters One letter arrived one day, postmarked July 1st, 2014 I don’t know when it arrived, but that day I guess that day her soul earned it’s wings That day, that one day My soul crumbled as hers rose to the heavens, with that piece of paper that had Apology scrawled all over it in that handwriting of hers that Didn’t change one bit I was watching my family extra closely as my mother read the letter out loud I didn’t want to see any of us hurt anymore even though I knew in my heart We would get through this We’re Zelinskis, strong and forgiving We open our hearts to perfect strangers and welcome them into our home with hugs and laughter and game nights that don’t end at midnight We are one in suffering and one in rejoicing We wear the teachings of the bible on our shirtsleeves and kindness drip drops from our eyes My dad says We’re all children of christ But Children still get hurt My sister, she chose Laughter My brother, his face was a blank canvas as I rubbed and rubbed, trying to see through the white blanket of paint that masked his emotions My sister in law told me the Truth My brother, I don’t know, I just hope he listens to his heart this time My sister, she has a wedding to plan Me, Maybe I’m the only one who wanted to be angry Maybe I’m the only one who sees their pain even though they can’t Or maybe I’m delusional and no one’s really affected by the Letter We’re still children I’m still bouncing around the house, following the older kids around like a lost puppy My sisters are still my heroes and my brothers Are still my knights, my Protectors, the ones I could sass and make fun of because they Did the same to me but with much more force than my small voice could carry We’re still children I know nothing of The Letters Instead, I’m welcoming Her into our home again with a tray full of Grandma’s famous chocolate chip cookies and the goofy grin of a six year old I’m meeting Her eyes again Only this time I know she’ll leave This time, I know how much time I have So I’ll write my letter now And instead of remorse and anger I’ll fill it with good times and Remember Whens I’ll put it in the mailbox, swipe the red flag up And wish on the mailman that you’ll get it
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Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 7:19 PM UTC
The Prodigal Daughter Returns
“I need to write a poem” Were the first words out of my mouth when my mother told me about The Letters One letter arrived one day, postmarked July 1st, 2014 I don’t know when it arrived, but that day I guess that day her soul earned it’s wings That day, that one day My soul crumbled as hers rose to the heavens, with that piece of paper that had Apology scrawled all over it in that handwriting of hers that Didn’t change one bit I was watching my family extra closely as my mother read the letter out loud I didn’t want to see any of us hurt anymore even though I knew in my heart We would get through this We’re Zelinskis, strong and forgiving We open our hearts to perfect strangers and welcome them into our home with hugs and laughter and game nights that don’t end at midnight We are one in suffering and one in rejoicing We wear the teachings of the bible on our shirtsleeves and kindness drip drops from our eyes My dad says We’re all children of christ But Children still get hurt My sister, she chose Laughter My brother, his face was a blank canvas as I rubbed and rubbed, trying to see through the white blanket of paint that masked his emotions My sister in law told me the Truth My brother, I don’t know, I just hope he listens to his heart this time My sister, she has a wedding to plan Me, Maybe I’m the only one who wanted to be angry Maybe I’m the only one who sees their pain even though they can’t Or maybe I’m delusional and no one’s really affected by the Letter We’re still children I’m still bouncing around the house, following the older kids around like a lost puppy My sisters are still my heroes and my brothers Are still my knights, my Protectors, the ones I could sass and make fun of because they Did the same to me but with much more force than my small voice could carry We’re still children I know nothing of The Letters Instead, I’m welcoming Her into our home again with a tray full of Grandma’s famous chocolate chip cookies and the goofy grin of a six year old I’m meeting Her eyes again Only this time I know she’ll leave This time, I know how much time I have So I’ll write my letter now And instead of remorse and anger I’ll fill it with good times and Remember Whens I’ll put it in the mailbox, swipe the red flag up And wish on the mailman that you’ll get it
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If my sins returned as monsters    if each lie awoke a ghoul    there would be no hiding place    nor shelter for my soul. For my wrongs are many    and forgiveness has been spent    what with all the ills I've wrought    'twould be inane to try repent. The careless sounds slipped from my tripping lips    the thoughtless flapping of my tongue    those simple phrases cost me dearly    on my shirtsleeves they've been hung. Looking back at past events    I find it quite absurd    that God dost grant us no device    to unspeak a wicked word.
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Mar 8, 2013
Mar 8, 2013 at 11:05 PM UTC
Deeds
Smoking is a working class disease They said; he smiled at this. Lean in body and broad of mind With shirtsleeves rolled, A modern man's philosopher Who stuttered over the words Like his fingers did over her chassis Detroit rolling iron beneath his palms Grease and lubricant under the nails. The cigarette cherry glows in the dark Giving him a hard edge aura The gloaming settling into the lines Of his work-worn face
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Apr 3, 2013
Apr 3, 2013 at 4:19 PM UTC
Working Class
"Forget her," he said "Like waves forget the sand on the beach when tide goes out. Like dew drops forget moonlight when a sunbeam makes them blush in the morning." But I am not as forgetful as water. I am a tree standing tall in an orchard with snow around my ankles and my limbs shivering in shirtsleeves but I won't for a minute forget the springtime. Or the sunshine and how she danced through it underneath me. I will always remember that summer we spent in fields together laughing at dragonflies lighting on nettles and catching the warm breeze in our hair. She was a fully shaken Polaroid. A postcard. A Memoir.
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Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 7:44 AM UTC
As Water (pt. I)
No two people ever conceived by God could possibly be more alike than us We live our lives in perpetual hope of Country Time Lemonade commercials and old reruns of “Leave it to ****** We hope that, around the next bend on a dusty, sun streaked road we will find our Mayberry That place where old men weighing down sagging porches speak in parable of better times That place where young mothers perpetually in their Sunday best push strollers edged in brick-a-brack That place where little boys have impossibly grass stained knees at the edge of muddy fishing holes That place where little girls pick Black-Eyed Susan's in verdant fields and play at getting married while the little boys flee in terror That place where dapper fathers mow lawns in their shirtsleeves and tip their pipes to one another in the falling afternoon sun Together, we dream of this place; this ideal; this America. Together we dream and, together, we continue down that old dirt road; hoping to find Mayberry just around the next bend.
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Mar 15, 2010
Mar 15, 2010 at 6:54 PM UTC
Mayberry
Shiver. Beetles under my skin wear top hats in my fever dreams. They dance on pinprick goosebumps in the pale fabric of my shirtsleeves. Crawling. Aching. Never let it stop. I need it more than it needs me. Lock me up; Throw away the key. Gasping. ****** Never let it stop. One more drag. One more drop. Lock me up; Set me free.
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Sep 26, 2015
Sep 26, 2015 at 1:57 AM UTC
Withdrawal PT. 2
ears destined for rust and fallow fields move smoothly in grime for men in shirtsleeves and women laughing in sunlight silos line the horizon stuffed to the brim with pipe dreams and hops children as shadow puppets behind clotheslines herald the bees and honey thrusting pipes push earthen mounds echoing coffins’ slumbers men heave iron and wheat on a forgotten country road
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Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014 at 10:53 PM UTC
her mind not mines
I chanced upon an old letter That had clearly sailed legless on seas Crumpled, damp but inside the envelope: Intelligible writing by sight But by comprehension I was lost Disorientated and sea-sick. Sometimes you come across an object, and in no way can you explain its origin, it’s purpose, or the frame of mind of the person who last encountered it, The letter was dry and slightly smudged but the envelope (and stamp) could not be made out at all I could not send it back If I could I would be lost for words, as it seems they were in ways: *...and I have little leaves, I love you and I miss you so much. When he finished the day in the ocean waiting for you to choose from Aserahosov read our son and apricot. My shirtsleeves damp in your memory. Our subject is expected later to the rest of the flight path of the earth ready to kiss a little faster on the planet. I broke a strong bird while I like the cakes, I break the strong current. Love my *** I strongly flow. It has been Pecan pie is to say...* My understanding of romance is minimal But to have leaves seems morbid Even more so than the breaking of the bird... Why should a bird get hurt in this gross courtship? and a strong one too, what act of love can break anything but a heart? I like the cakes, I break the strong currents Perhaps the words of someone rushing Across oceans in the name of love Slicing through the chunky waves But the cake is a bit out of place Surely no one would rush across oceans Wide and rough and restless For a cake that was simply ‘liked’ This must all be a prank... This one then— *Love my *** off I strongly flow…* Now, I hope the flowing is another Nautical reference, it would tie in nicely With the breaking of currents- I cannot comment on what precedes it There is much I cannot discuss In this disgusting letter, I wish I had not been given it. **** —If I were a seahorse, I know that just being a seahorse would be enough...
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Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 11:46 PM UTC
The Letter
I chanced upon an old letter That had clearly sailed legless on seas Crumpled, damp but inside the envelope: Intelligible writing by sight But by comprehension I was lost Disorientated and sea-sick. Sometimes you come across an object, and in no way can you explain its origin, it’s purpose, or the frame of mind of the person who last encountered it, The letter was dry and slightly smudged but the envelope (and stamp) could not be made out at all I could not send it back If I could I would be lost for words, as it seems they were in ways: *...and I have little leaves, I love you and I miss you so much. When he finished the day in the ocean waiting for you to choose from Aserahosov read our son and apricot. My shirtsleeves damp in your memory. Our subject is expected later to the rest of the flight path of the earth ready to kiss a little faster on the planet. I broke a strong bird while I like the cakes, I break the strong current. Love my *** I strongly flow. It has been Pecan pie is to say...* My understanding of romance is minimal But to have leaves seems morbid Even more so than the breaking of the bird... Why should a bird get hurt in this gross courtship? and a strong one too, what act of love can break anything but a heart? I like the cakes, I break the strong currents Perhaps the words of someone rushing Across oceans in the name of love Slicing through the chunky waves But the cake is a bit out of place Surely no one would rush across oceans Wide and rough and restless For a cake that was simply ‘liked’ This must all be a prank... This one then— *Love my *** off I strongly flow…* Now, I hope the flowing is another Nautical reference, it would tie in nicely With the breaking of currents- I cannot comment on what precedes it There is much I cannot discuss In this disgusting letter, I wish I had not been given it. **** —If I were a seahorse, I know that just being a seahorse would be enough...
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Every couple days I see him Standing, never sitting Head bent, leaning with the car The other people are constellations But he is this one lone star He never looks up or right Just down with crinkled frown He doesn't know just how bright His light shines through this brown This brown, this palpable **** It covers us all The fat, the lazy, the fit It clings to our shirtsleeves Pulls at our cuffs Slowly burning our tree leaves In slow deliberate puffs But here he is Every other day Devoid of this **** and stank Simply moving with the sway I sometimes think of getting up Of telling him how I feel Mister you are beautiful A wine glass where I am a cup A plastic one with lines to tell How much is too much From ***** wine, even 7up Though I never will Sir it's not just that you are beautiful It's because you never sit You just stand and sway Flexing your mighty wrist You never stumble at the stops Your ******* headphones I doubt they twist I know what I'm doing Or at least what my mother would say I've turned you into an ideal A bet that will never pay You'll be mean, jealous or loud Sorry or far too proud But how can you still shine like this Each and every other day An orbiting star standing three feet away In this ***** **** covered subway
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Jul 1, 2015
Jul 1, 2015 at 12:49 PM UTC
The Subway Star
i’m of that particularly pretentious belief that each and every one of us is larger than the biological self our connections can reach far beyond far beyond the movement of our mouths into something metaphyiscal. the crazy biology teacher at my old high school knew this and she sent herself into a panic over my brother’s white aura. and in this roy-gee-biv of being, gold means good. blue means beautiful. red means you’re hot and dangerous but i’m gonna touch you anyway. green means get the **** away from me you freak. i can tell you with celestial certainty that my aura is spiders. spiders. spider moms and spider dads making millions of spider babies on my soul. spiders crawling all over my face and out of my mouth. spiders crawling out of my shirtsleeves. spiders in my hair. i invite you to bathe in the light of my spiders. i make people uncomfortable. i frighten small children. i make grown men run away in terror. i have high corners so i’m prone to webs. i bask in the warmth of damp basements and nauseated screams. while my brother is busy being a pure soul. while red seems out of reach. while all the colors mix together in fantastic combinations unavailable in any box of crayons, i’ll be watching you all. silently with my spiders. judging.
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Jan 17, 2016
Jan 17, 2016 at 7:36 PM UTC
charlotte
Giggles from the child as water runs down her back, matching the swinging wind chimes just outside the wide-open window. Her mother smiles, her shirtsleeves rolled up and yet wet and covered in tiny bubbles. The white tile around them glistens in the sunlight pouring in, and I, the grinning dad who just got home, stand in the doorway, softened clay. My wife, my beautiful wife, looks up at me and says “Hey honey,” and runs another small jug of bathwater over my baby’s soft head of hair. The little one trickles out “Hi Daaaaddy,” and giggles again, as her mother scrubs her little back and shoulders. Seeing this scene in front of me, my eyes water slightly. I pull it back in; after all these years it’s still difficult for me to simply be joyous. Nonetheless, there is an ache in my heart, the ache one feels when they first fall in love, and I am standing here falling all over again. I roll up my sleeves and drop to my knees, and give my wife and my sweetie the biggest pecks I can muster, and clean her delicate little arms. The mother pours another jug, and once again, this little darling angel, like wind chimes swinging outside, giggles.
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Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 6:49 PM UTC
Giggles
Seeking the sunrise, Hiding in shadows, Compressing the moonlight Into your pocket Because who knows when we'll see it again? Pictures Of what may never come back. What we loved, Lost, Hated. They last a lifetime Like my tears on your shirtsleeves.
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Jan 25, 2016
Jan 25, 2016 at 2:48 PM UTC
Nightcrawler
Oh those bodies on the museum walls Tennessee Valley bodies and Los Alamos bodies shining blackly like the stripe of a credit card. The price of bread fixed at five cents and we all eat it in slices. Your name is your labour and your labour your name. I have disappeared into a country that doesn’t know me and I am tearing it up with my teeth. Oh those bodies that were once slaves. Were they pictured any other way but in idyll or whipped dry? The dusty Union regiments at Baton Rouge have made a postcard of one scourged back; they share it around and die for it. I have a few postcards, too. It is strange to see any man kneeling. Oh those bodies Cornbread bodies and bodies like a corn snake crushed among the broad leaves of tobacco; The ones in bone corsets and the ones in reed baskets, floating downstream. The ones in rosy marble and wrought bronze the ones whose striped backs are coming out in wings feathers pink and wet like a new-hatched chick or a stillbirth. Your body is a tight machine of grief packed into homespun like a fist and relaxes in sepia as it never did in life, a babe slung underarm and the food only from cans; they keep the dust out. Oh those bodies that tend the home, larder and ledger, and reach for the high cabinets and keep reaching. The old voices are back at work. I am not the one they are speaking to but I hear them all the same. They spread out a catalogue of wares on a sisal blanket in the dark and every price sounds fair, every garment lovely unless you made it. The country workman in bronze now and forever with his rolled shirtsleeves; his body raises a hammer and his bicep, mid-shiver is always striking something, always building Heaven, and Manhattan, from the foundations. Stained glass his union flag and Union Army blood he forgot or never knew. The thin white arms of Andersonville, meeting two generations hence, in his arms, the dark scarred shoulders of the South. Who brought forth upon the continent this new nation, and who brought forth the ironclad Monitor and who put into song the Maple Leaf Rag or Swanee River and who put that soil there from which the cotton still grows and who made your dress? Who owes the debt and who records it? You and I. Oh those bodies swathed in light. Oh those bodies becoming angels. Bodies bound blackly and bodies forgetting which is what bodies do with injury: they absorb, and they forget.
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Oct 5, 2017
Oct 5, 2017 at 1:36 PM UTC
Oh Those Bodies
Oh those bodies on the museum walls Tennessee Valley bodies and Los Alamos bodies shining blackly like the stripe of a credit card. The price of bread fixed at five cents and we all eat it in slices. Your name is your labour and your labour your name. I have disappeared into a country that doesn’t know me and I am tearing it up with my teeth. Oh those bodies that were once slaves. Were they pictured any other way but in idyll or whipped dry? The dusty Union regiments at Baton Rouge have made a postcard of one scourged back; they share it around and die for it. I have a few postcards, too. It is strange to see any man kneeling. Oh those bodies Cornbread bodies and bodies like a corn snake crushed among the broad leaves of tobacco; The ones in bone corsets and the ones in reed baskets, floating downstream. The ones in rosy marble and wrought bronze the ones whose striped backs are coming out in wings feathers pink and wet like a new-hatched chick or a stillbirth. Your body is a tight machine of grief packed into homespun like a fist and relaxes in sepia as it never did in life, a babe slung underarm and the food only from cans; they keep the dust out. Oh those bodies that tend the home, larder and ledger, and reach for the high cabinets and keep reaching. The old voices are back at work. I am not the one they are speaking to but I hear them all the same. They spread out a catalogue of wares on a sisal blanket in the dark and every price sounds fair, every garment lovely unless you made it. The country workman in bronze now and forever with his rolled shirtsleeves; his body raises a hammer and his bicep, mid-shiver is always striking something, always building Heaven, and Manhattan, from the foundations. Stained glass his union flag and Union Army blood he forgot or never knew. The thin white arms of Andersonville, meeting two generations hence, in his arms, the dark scarred shoulders of the South. Who brought forth upon the continent this new nation, and who brought forth the ironclad Monitor and who put into song the Maple Leaf Rag or Swanee River and who put that soil there from which the cotton still grows and who made your dress? Who owes the debt and who records it? You and I. Oh those bodies swathed in light. Oh those bodies becoming angels. Bodies bound blackly and bodies forgetting which is what bodies do with injury: they absorb, and they forget.
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67
the palms of her hands are calloused from the constant digging. she is digging a hole, running on empty. as she falls to her knees, her fingertips are enveloped in the cool earth, cooling the blisters and bruises. carefully, she climbs inside. and as the cavern fills up with rainwater, she feels her swollen tongue and the rug burn on her skin and the acid in her throat, and she reaches for the comfort of her shirtsleeves. the grit of cough syrup and mud between her teeth makes her gag over the patter of rain, she can hear a shovel against rock. another person digging a hole, but into the rocky portion usually reserved for those with nothing left. and so out she climbs, cradles the digger in her arms and fills her hole with flower petals, dropping the lost soul inside and she wraps her fingers around the soaked piece of wood and metal and groans with that familiar sound of metal on rock as she resumes what they left behind.
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Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 9:51 AM UTC
digging
Is it okay if sometimes I can't tell the difference between you and me the places that separated us have gone and disappeared and now when you're gone I am too and I can't take anymore of this I hear drums in the background and it must be a sonata waiting for me to conduct it a pulsing rhythm In and out like the swell of a crowd with the sweat intermingling and I can't tell who you are you're just a circle nothing but a circle something fluid like the water dripping from my shirtsleeves in the dark in the dark with no blue moon anymore you took my blue moon when you left and you can stay away because I can't handle this I just can't I can't live with this solitude So someone come along and free me from the mental
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Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 2:29 AM UTC
Do
bile rising in my throat i’m the ground again away from people but the noise won’t stop won’t stop _god why won’t it stop_ my mind is a never ending barrage of loud, violent thoughts overwhelming, unstoppable i hide and hide laying down to slow my heart beating, racing as if trying to escape my thoughts is this a panic attack? but i’m not crying and this feeling has lasted days so of course not, of course not my skin doesn’t feel right like i could peel it right off my clothes are too tight i can feel each atom in my body vibrating so urgently, so violently nothing is right other methods fail _they always do, they always do_ so i turn to my worst comfort tearing into flesh on my arms carefully hidden under shirtsleeves i can finally breathe this feeling is all consuming no end in sight i hide and pretend i can’t worry anyone again it’s been days but i can wait help is too much trouble
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May 10, 2018
May 10, 2018 at 7:07 PM UTC
not a panic attack