"quetiapine" poems
so ****** in the face of it
at the end of it, your perception
on the nose of it
this feeling in my nose
this tingling wall
this numby crunchy face on my face that blocks out the light and the truth and the life .... that's how it feels .... sorta
how crazy does that read?
i'll bet it reads ugly.
i'll bet it reads sick.
it should because its a description of drugs crazy people, ie. people like me take to try to feel less crazy
they make your god **** face feel like it jumped rebellious,
eyes, ears, nose, throat, turned traitor.
Escitalopram
Buproin
Nuvigil
Lithium Carbonate
Quetiapine
Abilify
Risperdone
Harpoon IPA
Johnnie Walker Red Label blended scotch whiskey
it seems there can come a certain special kind of time in a man's life,
when he can feel weird and lonely enough
to type a few words
and call it poem.
******* Bukowski.
this is his legacy. the possibility to do what I'm doing right now.
without that disgusting, self-centered fool
I never would have thought to try and write these weird feelings I'm feeling.
a little attention,
that's what strokes this need.
a few incidental internet readers,
to read this strangely pointless pontification
on the bits of sadness that are me.
i wish i could find an open field
and lay back comfortable
in the crisp cold air
and feel the stars shoot through me
my heart pounding in the dirt
and waiting for *** or sun or wolves or rain
or anything else you might call "love."
i wish for more death
or more life
I can't stay here.
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 1:22 AM UTC
I cannot keep this
This fruitless ache
This pounding in my head
There go my blades
At their works
****** arts!
Sign the dotted line in blood
Your blood!
We try to bleed it out!
each droplet an hour of agonies
crimson muck
We cried but in vain
This depressive, this manic
This open raw wound
to which everyone spits in
For tis that which they doth not see
Oh so blind to!
Therapies, forsooth! a worthless pastime
Clonazepam, Quetiapine
Dampen the mood, quieten the voices
A mind torn asunder
for of winter snow
and summer thunder
a body I do plunder
to rip out these demons
exorcise these ghouls
claw out these ghosts
This cannot be glorified
it is not beautifully broken
but tearing oneself apart
to remove the ashes in my head
Borderline personality disorder
Post traumatic stress disorder...
Dec 4, 2016
Dec 4, 2016 at 3:40 PM UTC
shadows dance around my room.
it's a party of darkness through which I must sleep. the noisy fists incessantly pound on fleshy white periosteum- I’m bleeding.
I'm gasping from inebriation and
blurred vision the party induced,
tripped up steps on drowsy meds- my memory, now abaited
replaced by these
dark guests
my chest
lurched, poised and ready to jump over the edge of my rib cage.
and I'd **** for water,
but all the bartenders offer
are straight jackets, quetiapine fumarate and more paranoia.
there's only room for one person in here.
but there are two voices I hear.
Mar 29, 2019
Mar 29, 2019 at 11:51 PM UTC
It's not the kind of sadness which makes you want to cry all the time,
But the kind of sadness that overwhelms your senses so much,
You began to question your sanity
You lost touch with all your emotions.
Venlafaxine in the day
A little white pill,
Promising you no more break downs.
Sertraline in the evening
Two little blue pills,
Selling you dopamine and fake smiles.
Quetiapine in the night
Three little pink pills,
Swearing that you'll be in control.
Those lies they feed you
False hope sold in crazy little pills,
I still clutch the bottle of gas
Dreaming of normalcy,
Cradling a razor blade on broken skin
I smile like a fool.
Jan 17, 2017
Jan 17, 2017 at 11:05 AM UTC
Take these, they say;
They will help, they say.
How ‘bout some venlafaxine?
That will stop you wanting to die.
Bit anxious?
Some lorazepam will fix that!
Oh, how’s your sleeping?
Temazepam, zopiclone!
That’ll do the trick.
Your mood is unstable?
We have something to cure that!
We’ll add on some lithium and quetiapine,
How does that sound?
You’ll be all better in no time.
You take the pills,
Two in the morning (with a large glass of water)
During the day (as needed)
Three more in the evening (after food)
And three at night (an hour before bed)
Am I all better yet?
Well, I guess I don’t feel anxious..
And my mood isn’t all over the place…
In fact; I don’t have a mood at all.
Nothing.
Zombiefied.
Aug 12, 2014
Aug 12, 2014 at 7:29 AM UTC
While I’m Standing in the middle of the sleepy show , Embracing your holiness with a half-rigid conscious mind, Quetiapine is all over the tiny universe, incorporating into a hundred thunders.
ill eagles are committing suicide, and bats are celebrating the final happy ending over their corpses.
Verses turned into transparent hope, and folks died.
I’m over their terror, burying my whole calamity beneath my haunted soul, crafting some papery flowers, coloring their folds, and organizing them around your fiery throne.
Despite all those doomsday grand signs, I'm luring the romance in the sky’s red layers to possess me as a last romantic attempt, to be able to cover all your fantasies and make them come true for the last time.
My love, I’m there between your fairytales, inhaling the magic and exhaling the tragedy instead of you.
Aug 7, 2023
Aug 7, 2023 at 6:41 PM UTC
Welcome to the Land of Forgotten Thoughts,
I forget all the rest and I’m already lost,
Where there is no crossing the King and the Queen,
They don’t like who I am and they hate who I've been,
It’s more fun when nothing is as it seems,
I’d rather sleep all day and live in my dreams
Now don’t listen to violence,
Nothing speaks louder than silence,
I can’t run from the wolf when he’s already under my skin,
The cold King and the questioning Queen,
Don’t care what you say but demand answering
The wretched Jester,
Emotion molester,
Finds out what it’s takes to take a hit to the chest,
His laughs that have always been better than the rest,
His lines are always the best
Prince Charming is always self-harming,
Keeps embalming the lost skin on his palms,
People don’t care because they see you’ve got a charming face,
Internal sorry expression,
From the eternal royal rejection,
Don’t worry natural selection will put you back in your place
Open the door and kick your lover out of your bed,
And don’t trust any of the others willing to take her stead,
Pretty faces don’t stop them being ugly,
Prince Charming, charmingly free,
And I’m trying to take off the crown,
But the King and Queen keep pushing it down
I can’t sleep at night now I've got no head,
The medicine keeps me well fed,
Stomachs aching,
Pain killers are making,
A body glued together two minutes from breaking
There no quitting,
The Quetiapine scene,
The truth is upsetting,
Mistakes worth regretting,
Swallow their lies and I’m already forgetting
Welcome to the Land of Forgotten Thoughts,
I forget all the rest and I’m already lost,
You don’t need to know where we’re going,
We know there’s no point in knowing,
We know there’s no point in knowing,
You don’t need to know where we’re going,
I forget the rest and I’m already lost,
Welcome to Land of Forgotten Thoughts
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 3:33 PM UTC
Affliction with mental illness beasts sans,
depression, panic/ anxiety
obsessive compulsive disorder
didst for most of my lix splitting life zap
psychological state plagued with
sweaty palms, irritable
bowel syndrome, mind chatter
constantly doth yip and yap,
whereby extensive stretches of time
bore cerebral torture
housing invisible
mailer daemon nemesis wrap
ping entire corporeal to suicidal ideations
to escape once and for all asphyxiating,
gamesomely hectoring imps,
nauseating non-apparent trap
regularly pitching emotional
welfare to and fro,
hither and yon, thence
lashing out at self - summarized
with the non medical term,
yet descriptive word "snap"
though a half dozen medications
(listed as follows) alleviate
sensation akin to feeling
besieged, and pugilistic-ally rapped,
yet (Quetiapine tab 300mg,
Clomipramine cap 50mg,
Fluoxetine cap 40mg,
Fluoxetine cap 20mg,
Busipirone tab 15mg,
and Clonozepam tab 0.5mg)
prior to prescriptive palliatives,
aye experienced
debilitating quality of life, thus I accept
function-able, manageable
unfortunate side effects such,
viz thinning hair,
necessity to take daily nap
abdominal weight gain, where love handles
replaced wash board stomach, adipose tissue
not quite spilling o'er me lap
so in summary burden of proof
no longer tethers Sisyphean rolling rocks
interestingly enough this figurative lid locks
akin to sealing schizoid "Pandora box).
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018 at 4:25 PM UTC
so ****** in the face of it
at the end of it, your perception
on the nose of it
this feeling in my nose
this tingling wall
this numby crunchy face on my face that blocks out the light and the truth and the life .... that's how it feels .... sorta
how crazy does that read?
i'll bet it reads ugly.
i'll bet it reads sick.
it should because its a description of drugs crazy people, ie. people like me take to try to feel less crazy
they make your god **** face feel like it jumped rebellious,
eyes, ears, nose, throat, turned traitor.
Escitalopram
Buproin
Nuvigil
Lithium Carbonate
Quetiapine
Abilify
Risperdone
Harpoon IPA
Johnnie Walker Red Label blended scotch whiskey
it seems there can come a certain special kind of time in a man's life,
when he can feel weird and lonely enough
to type a few words
and call it poem.
******* Bukowski.
this is his legacy. the possibility to do what I'm doing right now.
without that disgusting, self-centered fool
I never would have thought to try and write these weird feelings I'm feeling.
a little attention,
that's what strokes this need.
a few incidental internet readers,
to read this strangely pointless pontification
on the bits of sadness that are me.
i wish i could find an open field
and lay back comfortable
in the crisp cold air
and feel the stars shoot through me
my heart pounding in the dirt
and waiting for *** or sun or wolves or rain
or anything else you might call "love."
i wish for more death
or more life
I can't stay here.
Nov 21, 2016
Nov 21, 2016 at 4:25 AM UTC
I'm addicted to this medicine, quetiapine and cynicism.
My doctor told me i'll never sleep again.
I might as well be taking ****** I made my bed again.
You see i've got this disease but these pills will make me real again. Paranoia with no cease to end. Anxiety around your friends. An emotion that others pretend to comprehend. It's on this drug I must depend my doctor said. For that plant you smoke ruins your brain, i'm sure that it was dope that drove you insane.
And I say to what end. He laughs then shows me my graph and points out a trend. You did this to yourself, a destructive state of health, now take this pill and get some rest. Tomorrow's a big day for you'll meet your true self.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 8:36 AM UTC
I feel my arms go cold
The thoughts in my head fold
"Oh no, not again,
I just want it all to end
I feel it on my neck
A cool and heavy breath
The white all melts to red
There's buzzing in my head
Infernal whispers in my ear
I want to run away from here
I wish I hadn't missed my meds
Forever haunted to all ends
A sense of dread washes over me
I should be over it, but I'm not free
Even though it's only been a year
I thought I wouldn't still have the fear
I close my eyes
I can still see them
I cover my ears
they whisper I’m red
I plug my ears
I can still hear them
I can still see them
Why
still
Things are different
I have my friend's support
I tried to escape the torrent
All of my effort
I have Quetiapine
For whatever that's worth
I try to leave the scene
From then on and since forth
I have experience
and I'm always trying
The ----ing inconvenience
I have ways of coping
But it all
feels
the same
It just
feels
the same
It's still red
It's still black
It's still a burden
on my back
It's still a conch shell
A wave of fear
It's still a tickle in my ear
It's still a void staring at me
with piercing white eyes
God, I want to get free
those eyes
the only thing white in the world
Like a horrifying play, it's about to unfurl
I hold my head
I hold my heart
I lie in bed
Afraid to depart
I want to cry
I really do
I can't explain why
I can't seem to
Maybe it's because I like it
Some part of me does
I really hate but I admit it
I wish it never ever was
A misplaced giggle
A twisted smile in my head
A love of edges
A want for the blazing red
It's a part of my brain
That I just can't constrain
Makes me feel like I'm crazy
I can't be insane
I got things to create
A life to live
A tested fate
A want to give
But it nags
Oh it nags
They say a laugh is the truest form of communication
Well, what if it's true?
What if that laugh you heard
Was me through and through?
I really must fight it
The laugh and the grin
The red in my head
Can't escape from within
I know it's wrong
It doesn't though
Its twisted song
Stopped at my throat
It isn't me
It isn't me
It isn't me
It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
I don't want to be red
So
I guess
I'll be
Black
May 15, 2019
May 15, 2019 at 12:02 AM UTC
Just pop this Quetiapine
And it's quiet time for me
I just wish you wouldn't choke me to sleep
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 12:32 AM UTC