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I am paint over masking tape
To create sharp lines
That never turned out right

I am fingers pressed to screens
And screens
And screens

I am who not to be

I am who I am
And I know what I want

I am drunk,
But not really anymore
So I'm sober
I guess

I am a girl giggling
As her second real boyfriend
Tried to get her to **** his ****
After getting her high
For the first time

I am a mother
Who cheated
By getting an epidural

I am the worst thing
That's ever happened
To too many people

I am poem
After poem
After poem
About boys who probably
Don't remember my name
And whose names
I don't remember

I am dust in the wind
On a dead end highway
In Oklahoma
Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains

I am all the love
And mania
Of a collection
Of bad decisions

I am the screaming
And wretching you hear
Within the walls of a jail

I am wrong so much more often than I am right

I am the acrid smell of
****
Burning through the walls
Of a not-so-happy home

I am dying of thirst
Where the only source of water
Is thousands of miles
Away

You aren't real anyway
She'll be comin' 'round the mountain
When she ****
Too late now
She's already here

But maybe you've forgotten
How bitter she tastes
After too many
Heaping helpings
Have you ever
Been in love?
Have you ever
Been in love
Like I have?
Stark, raving
Mad
And heavily
Indebted
To yourself?
Have you ever
Abused
Prescription
Medication?
Nothing matters
Not the boy
Not the girl
Not the baby
Not the pain
Not the joy
Not the *****
Or the pills
Or the ****
So just







Go die.
Mi corazon
Mi Alma
Mi querida sombrita

I'm going to hell
Y tĂș, a la casa de tu abuela
Ms. Rachel and
Bubble guppies
And Paw Patrol
And plenty of snackies
But no mama

Everyone assures me you'll never remember
But I worry
That you'll always wonder
Why you worry about me leaving you
Cydney Something Sep 2022
How can one heart
Feel so empty
And so full
Simultaneously


A soul so forlorn
So abused
And so completely
Abandoned

How can this pain feel
Like it is everywhere
And nowhere
Strangling

You are vanishing
Ever present
And already absent
Evanescent

Nowhere
Now here
N O W H E R E
Cydney Something Sep 2022
Suddenly, the distance between us
Ceases to be
Immense
And becomes
Unfathomable
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