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There were plenty before you,
But don't get me wrong
You were my first love.

The priors i loved but
I was never IN Love
Till the day I met you,
Your innocent smile & golden heart
Never will I forget;
How you told me
I was only your second kiss,
You were 18 how could this be;
You were reserved n pure
Before you met me.


A year of on and off
& we fell IN Love
You knew the ****** deeds I did
& one day near the end of summer
You invited me over; caught me by suprise
When you lead me to your room
And removed your shirt

The pregnancy scare
Is what tore us apart,
I wasn't there;
Trust was broken,
& faith in men destroyed,
You never smoked
nor drank till after this
You must have been trying to escape

We stop talking
Cause you needed space,
I never once thought I should text.
You felt unwanted n used
By the way I lacked to try
I destroyed you,
corrupted you,
And I'm guilty of that

We agreed to stay friends,
But that didn't work
& we went our separate ways
Then last Christmas as if a miracle,
You came back into my life.

I never stoped loving you,
Never stopped hating myself


I let be known
That I'll lend a ear
When ever your down.

You must think I'm being sweet
Just to get another hit,
But the truth in the matter is;
I know you'll never take me back
Not after what I did

But I still feel guilty
And I wish to mend the wounds
After all I'm the one who caused
Them all.......
Nat Nov 2012
Smokey the bear had fought lots of fires,
he was a good guy, didn't have any priors.
But after so many years committed to the job,
Smokey started to feel as if he would sob
every time he got a message calling him back to work,
to put out a fire started by some drunken ****.
No matter how many fires Smokey put out,
it never seemed to gain him any social clout.
His so called “friends” never invited him to hang
though all Smokey wanted was to be one of the gang.
They would hold fancy dances and dress in their best,
but poor lonely Smokey was never a guest.
He rented a tux and showed it to one guy,
who immediately retorted with quite the rude reply!
“Are you kidding,” he said, “Smokey tuxes aren’t for bears,
besides, you’d have to return it all covered in hair!”
“No,” the guy said, “It’s best you stay home,”
“Besides, I know you don’t mind hanging out alone!”
But Smokey did mind, he minded a lot,
and later that night, he had a brilliant thought.
“I’ll go to that party and show them, they’ll see,
you can’t just leave out a fun bear like me.”
However, Smokey's idea did not go as planned,
his first mistake being that he arrived in a van.
A van that looked like something a molester would use
while trolling the streets for a child to choose.
Smokey’s second mistake was his puke yellow tux,
the one he had bought for only two bucks.
When he finally entered people gasped in surprise,
unable to believe the strange thing before their eyes.
There Smokey stood, all covered in yellow,
holding a cane and top hat he thought made him quite the “fancy fellow.”
After a moment of silence there was a loud roar,
as laughing people asked, “What look were you going for?”
Embarrassed, Smokey tried to claim the whole thing was a joke,
Stuttering, “C’mon you guys know I’m quite the funny bloke!”
Eyes brimming with tears Smokey decided to leave,
but this embarrassed bear had something up his sleeve.
“I hate them,” he thought, standing outside,
and decided to make sure none of them would have a ride.
So he slashed all their tires while giggling with glee,
Thinking, "Now they’ll feel bad for laughing at me!”
But this was not enough, Smokey wanted to do more,
so he grabbed a gas can and started to pour.
He saturated the grass, the trees and the flowers,
and then sparked a fire that would burn on for hours.
This was one fire Smokey would not put out,
he simply stood, and then laughed as he heard the first shout.
Ran
I have been running for years
Tub full of tears..
Fighting dozens of fears
Betrayed by peers..
Trust issues ..
As I sit here and clutch tissues..
How can a man cry blood.
Pops killed as a kid life of a ****...
Not me but he..
I am a lover not fighter.
Guess that's why at one point I was a womanizer..
Liquor licked lust until the night expired
I ran from my calling..
Taking the wrong shots I failed at balling...
Realized the love of the Messiah
Sin check my rap sheet I had priors
Should have been put in a hellish prison
Embracing conviction.
Jesus Christ gave me redemption
Mitch Nihilist Jul 2015
It’s a race to the bottom of the bottle
between sanity and sober realization
to every impaired negation and how to
alleviate and mediate the dependancy I
place on finding new routes to the
end of the flask. —
The hands of the bottle hold
dreaded burdens above my head,
bringing life to each morrowed breath,
and write hyms towards yearning
a long awaited wish for death,
sobriety weaves this addiction
of solitude through each thought of
halted life, and pushes it’s back
as it’s heels leave crevices to follow,
a view of darkness to come,
with turning back placing another knot
down a throat with attempt to swallow.
as each run of whiskey drips down the
walls of my throat the sinking ship within
my veins finds strength to stay afloat.
a Wiser whisper tickles at the anticipations
towards taking another sip,
the Hennessy tendencies stutter
a ****** equilibrium captivating
and inching my sanity towards
a shot of sequel librium. —
As ***** spews and consumes
the inhabited ground, a paroxysm
of unconsciousness feels
mentally sound,
blacked out with the following
morning full of acts to repent,
the monetary blackness
proves to be nothing but content,
recollection of priors
seem to fade with the desire of
sobriety and eliminating any hope
towards thoughtless propriety. —
Momentary happiness through
intoxication provides no mediation
between a sober fight for death
and a drunken one, the wish for
lifelessness is just subdued by
stumbling to bed and the inability
to steadily hold a gun to my head.
Faeri Shankar Jun 2013
A broken lock equals an open mind. An open mind equals a temporary peace of heart. I constantly write in riddles and lines that will never rhyme, that most will probably never read. In my subconscious I relentlessly attempt a Resurrection of civil engagements with an uncivil mind. My internal demeanor never abandons a detail, a key worth remembering and a lock that will always sway to and fro in a shanty boat that is inconsistently worthless and valuable. It will never dock, it will never be entirely worth the stress or the time it would take to tie and secure a ship of that size and quality, or lack thereof. There exists ulterior motives that Miss blonde esteem is seemingly not even aware of, or like her prior, accepts ignorance as a temporary escape until the uncivil mind returns civil. The fact is this. The uncivil mind was never civil, and may as well never be. Locks can be repaired, even when the thief begs for no replacement. What makes the thief the uncivil enemy? Has it ever occurred to any soul, that a thief is only stealing away precious moments that are rightfully his, that circumstances and uncivilized minds have locked away in a pitch black that they cannot call their own night? There surely has been an uncanny instance when the locksmith swiftly turned about to find his prior gazing at him in the golden grooves of the trap. The thieving of one’s own mind, to break a lock enchanted  by the uncivil mind, should be easily empathized and understood. But alas, curly blonde esteem will forever submit under the spell of the uncivil mind, who will only cast a shadow upon itself and its priors. It will be remembered in the scent of cigarettes, where it will also be displaced. It will be avoided in the unrighteousness of a friend’s bed in another family’s house, where a respirator and the oxygen tubes intertwining the threshold no longer exist; neither do the white sheets. There will never again be an absence of music behind the actions committed between the uncivil mind and the civil heart.
Mitch Nihilist Aug 2015
at 16 they taught u
s about shakespea
re, how? but now I
realize there was m
ore learned than bl
ank stares at teache
rs waiting for bells
to slide departures
under the doors of
blank minds. balco
ny preachings in fr
ont of loveless tang
ents foreshadowing
the curvature of the
then mindless. 5 ye
ars gone i still find m
yself wandering aim
lessly to the next cla
ss with the thought o
f the useless priors a
nd the books are get
ting heavier
Third Eye Candy Dec 2012
i used to be like you. now i'm like me. and then some.
been some fun . with only
one sun and
one moon to run from
when the sky
is people
and all steeples
are non-flyers
we have priors
but know
porcelain and sea-foam.
been undone.
and  
dead of Night
prone.
of no use
and no fun. on one lung.
for two
demons.
thems that be numb be numb ones  and not none that feel some.
they feels none. and not one shuns but
some be done with one love. and then some...
then someone's
the next no one
and then
what ?
I have much more to say. This poem fell from a slow moving truck. I will revisit this title with greater depth and much more angst and hope. Dire hope. I feel it. This poem will morph into a monster in a matter of hours. You won't recognize it in the least.
Nat Lipstadt Sep 2020
the first time we make love



your body will tremble, from behind, my arms’ will, to encase,
I, sponging up every tremor, shush-stealing each shuddering,
the outpouring of sounds will grow softly and steadying,
as gasps slow lessened, till the breathing is regularized.


you will sly ask for words, but I will come prepared and you,
will laugh when so informed, happy by my thoughtfulness,
wondering if they are being reused, and knowing this, I will
coax you to feed me morsels will I shall then embellish, proofs.

there is a first time in almost every aspect, but for one, which
you won’t refuse, forgiving my experiences, a history to become
now partly yours, the priors paying forward my debt to serve,
a gentling interplay of eyelashes *******, fingertip confessions
.

you will alternate tween fragility, regretful solitude, emptied but
then refilled, you’ll want to define, identify, label for storage and
reuse, classification for acceptance, thinking that will make this
moment lasting, but it won’t, but it will, last, under closed eyes.

when the need to sob returns, one or two may escape, unelicited,
but won’t go past that, you’ll hear me saying “Hello in there, hello,”^
and ten thousand skin cells will in unison firm gel a single sensory,
not a trick or strategy, an honor bestowed, medaled, molten medaled
.

that you were held captive, it will be a proud mark, for freedom only
comes from being released, and an anthem will start to form, words
all raw and wholly yours, then you will sing to me “good bye stranger,”^^ granting me a pardon, for being who I am, a wonderingly, somewhat familiar face...
^John Prine
^^ Sharon Robinson
Mark Tilford Feb 2016
My desires
How I had to defy her
All of my priors
More so all of the liars
The sound of the choir
Life, in it's entire
The love that I require
The sound of gunfire
Always being in the line of fire
Fearing the ball of fire
Trying to figure out all of the secrets
The treatments
My weakness
Bleakness
People's sleekness
All of my fears
Thinking about all the past years
And what caused all of my tears
And
What will appear
That might cause my love to disappear
The thinking of my peers and their smears
Death
When will I take my last breath
What keeps me up at night
My fears of
"ME"
!!
POSSIBLE Jul 2020
Mmm...

Every soul is a raindrop
fall from sky to ocean
most hit the surface
to ripple and fade
but some ripples
(rip) become waves
so careful when
you be willing this villainess  script
the 97 igrets no regrets
so often we split
universe forging and smith
an I’m off to Egypt

mind morbid
sometimes
****** silly
sight been
searing
****** psilocybin serum

<Mythicalifornian/ation>
might have been
a son of Sam
but now I happen to hope
he’s found **** - luminous scope
rather sacrificial lamb
to roll up and ****

fingers like spiders
re-twisting helix like twizzlers so no outsiders
untwisting logic like Cicero updated outdated drivers
no ****
no really though
that’s dope
like holy diver
****-lighted self

sun is well
moon caught
call it a moonwell
moon sought
call it a moonswell
how soon
call it a monsoon

(they buymoney’s well
they liefunnycreate hell)

Is it that I get consumed by my work
or work to consume the clerk

Is it that I’m a leader
or I preach to lead the self ;
either way overwork
cause we ovastand
what it mean
To be a conscious being

I lord over time
it doesn’t lord over me
got that **** on lock
honest priority

with no real priors
been Skirttin on roads
with no real tires
I’m running I’m running so often off-roading incoming
I'm running I’m running I’m tired Im scratched

but see now we off the path
calc'ing chaos math sacred shapes and 'ometries

'Grow the mountain
'GGrow the trees

Mind and body manifest these
8 them mushrooms drank the tea
Found God and Action make the Free

...still eyes on shadow to oversee
see how’s that **** float over me
winding warping whisper free
darkness cold and forming we
mark of clover safety  be
but
safety make me nobody
stop
and I take one breathe

what is the difference
simmer.the.inference
silent.the.ignorance  
in
out
****.am.I.limitless
talking.is.frivolous
stop.by.pay.stimulus

Ganesh (shout)
shout....
refresh my syllabus (what’s about)
image of synthesis (written down)
**** I’m mischievous (ima clown)

breath in
breathe crown

Jesus (sing)
and it’s all around

redeem my sinfulness
(the talk and the walk)
sparing my infamous
guide all my kinfolk when
I’m lost in indifference
pray for deliverance

brothers and sisters we gotta ask
what’s the cost of the difference
[w]hen Liminal's lost is the difference?

my only preference, reverence-evidence
of my life and all of my testament, prevalent

{Discipline and Chaos}
develop the eminent american-experiment
Never-lose scope ; envelope intelligent sentiment

my, my design
down so close
finger prints shine
passing the fine approach
what’s broached when l align
chaos and order impose in my mind







̴̨̠̖̊͜Į̷̰̗͍̮̼̼̲̥̆͊ṋ̶̣̞̳̲̖͈̤̘̜͌͌͒̈́ṫ̴̨̢̧̠͍̩͈̻̥̞̿̇́͊̊e̸͌̅­̛̼͈̜̱͎̯̗̺̹͈̆l̶̢͍̗̞̱͔̣̅̑͌͑̇̚͝l̸̫̜̼͍͔̘͙̫̍̈͋̿͐̑̎͝͝i̸̡̛̠͚͉̫͚̝̦͔g̴͌̈́̕͝­̥̬̰̰̹̋ȩ̷̭̳̳̳̹͕̖̌̇͌͋̀̒͗̓̈́͜͠n̴͚̲̭̥͙̫̺̄̓͗̂̄̈́̈t̵̜̦̲͎̣̠̿ ̸̛̰̺͔̭̼͈͆̓̊̒̓d̴̡̛͓̺̭̥̗͚̃̄̌̒̃̅͐͒͋ě̶͈̗̭̥͔̒̾̍̒͛͝͝ş̴̛̮͚̥̝͓̙͊͂̔̿́̄́̄­̰í̸̧̺͚̬̹̫̮͖̬̱͒̀g̴̨̨̭͉̺̮͚͊̌̆̽̕ṉ̴͓͚̭̥̘̖̲̲̋͛̀.̴̘̙̘̣̮̣̙͉̺͔͆̕
trauma healed
now I’m ******* rediculous
how the **** can I think of this
off the cuff with my instantaneous
transmission of knowledge
but some are to slow
hear it as words
one by one
when I’m speaking feathers and flight
dove by dove
and drove by drove
from coast coast and coast to cove
I fight against rage
My mind is inflamed
Its funny because I don't feel no pain
Numb like ****** veins
Slap me I won't feel a thing
I know it sounds strange
How long does it takes before your nerve endings die
After you die or after you get saved flames from the inside
Like Jeremiah..
I walk with a eternal desire
For everyone to be free like a ex-con with priors
Excuse my convictions
I was forgiven not convicted
To the love of God I am a witness
Like I just seen my parents kiss
Even though that's not in remembrance
Love is
My pops loved me until his dome was split
I meant his neck was opened
Drowned in blood and spit
Flame on not sure if he was saved could be in that fire pit
Life after death I believe it exist
I am so hot when I walk I  melt the soles of my shoes
Look I will hand you a pair
My mom loves I thank God that she is still here
PERTINAX Apr 2016
I never understood the real meaning behind poetry and philosophy.

The former takes great meaning and condenses it by duration reduction; Compacting enormous information and emotion in just a few beautiful words.

The latter is the priors direct opposite, opposing condensation for elaboration to the grandest questions a mortal being could ask. It's defined as a love of wisdom but really it's just the wisdom we love.

Both portend to be a front of art and an artistic mind.

So it makes you question these opposites and the balance they bring?

If combined "what is the product" of poetry and philosophy?

I'll tell you,
It's Prophecy
Neal Emanuelson Feb 2015
Cut it around the bend,
Eyes focused on the descent of time
A droplet ascertaining life
Dripping with momentous flow
Unadulterated and unimpaired
The form of a will occupies the air
Cut it around the bend,
There is nothing to the descent of time

Covered with unsteady palms
The warmth of these guilty hands
Swelling red from where pain still stays
Marked by the bitter pangs
Of the memories that persist and fight to remain
The feelings that soak in deep as much as they stain
Covered with unsteady palms
There is no warmth in these guilty hands

Streaked and aligned amongst tiles
A redden life will begin to grey
Now parallel to a cold horizon
Intoxicated by yet another day’s
Reminder of priors and those yet to come
Motions kept by the rise and setting of suns
Streaked and aligned amongst tiles
There’s nothing left of life but grey

It’s all over.

© 2014
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2017
i'm waking up in the west,
grandpa was a communist party member,
he even did jury service at the time
in court...
               i'm sitting here and thinking
about this video:
      what a ****-bending mind game...
it's the classic scenario of subject-object
dichotomy... there's nothing dualistic about
it, and there isn't anything involving
monism to it... i know: the titan nouns
in terms of usage (i just call them shortcuts...
but what i'm saying is that i'm grooving
to marvin gaye's hq version of i heard it
through the grapevine
... like **** i did...
i had ***** clarity poured into me)
                 the point being, listening to this
lauren southern video gave me
constipation: yes, on an objective tier of
concerns...
       how can you expect to state an objective
opinion when the society you live in
stresses subjective, individualistic concerns
to be stressed prior? that's the argument
that goes along the lines: we're all going to be
born to fulfill the role of rock stars...
    i don't get it... nor do i understand that
subjectivity is suddenly such a taboo...
it's these academic puritans who shun subjectivity...
so what's objectivity? stating the facts,
coincidental of: i groove in my chair and imagine
the devil's ***** moving in and out my ***
to translate as his tongue in my mouth...
or that other joke...
   ****! you gotta groove to marvin...
                which is why it's so weird to find
subjectivity to be a taboo...
            and that "objectivity" is, indeed, stating
the rules of remembering, that you have to remember
certain priors, like a buddha or a jesus...
          why is subjectivity such a taboo?
                you have hindu halo hovering over you
to prescribe you reincarnation as the stalling of
rational movement?
             yet from what this lauren southern video
explained, the universities are truly
bewildering people, notably in the humanities' departments...
     yet to what level can
                      the "problematic" congregation
   of the subject-object matter as to be theoretically
complex, rather than simply actually,
  to get something contrary to the ontology of a natural
chiral dynamic?
             they're not superimposable... they never were!
so you want the subject-object... o.k. o.k. object-subject
(alphabet and ******* of counting up to one-hundred):
so you want to create what?
         in the frame of mind of keeping western stresses
for the individuation process?
              the process of individuation is paramount
in the western society... and then it drops to almost nothing,
with whimsical concerns for a community...
     so... huh?
        object-subject = subject-subject + object-object;
well yeah, we talk about monday through to friday
and if we're working in a factory, via monday through
to friday we packaged about 2000 ready meals
for fast lives and lazy lives...
         but to make subjectivity such a taboo as it stands?
i already said **** sapiens is about as dead
as the neanderthals...      **** schizoi?
yeah, he's around... subject-object differentiation...
the mind-body duality... and how the two hyphen complexes
    end up as                            x.
crossbred cross-breed... arnold vs. stephen, etc.
Jeremy Betts Jun 13
You only judge;
Or misjudge, the minimal effort you saw while my mind was gagged and bound
The many breakdowns you were a part of where no fix could be found
And the deluged of tears you hardly stuck around long enough to see hit the ground

You never asked;
About the profound effort of simply starting a day on the day priors rebound
About the countless cries that tried to break through the red tape but never found sound
Or about the tears I was told weren't allowed to form with other people around

Leaving me to question;
Can a life be built on the middle ground?
I guess the more important question is,
Do you desire to turn this thing around?
Is there any interest,
What-so-ever,
In seeing if a middle can even be found?
I'd appreciate your response but don't expect to see one come around

Fool heartedly yours,

The Crying Clown

©2024
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2019
geschwaderwenige:

squadron-few...

imagine my "disgust"
at finding myself
a germano-philiac
in the english tongue...

aber, "sie" konnte nicht
jemand sonst...
andere mit schlimm
deutschegrammatik...

dis eine *****-wunderalles,
like the time i'm
supposed to **** a blow-up
sheep for like
quirks of:
in the village, of the village,
that doesn't exist?

ja!

in der dorf, aus die dorf,
daß existieren tüt nicht!

blick anderswo schlenzen
nein schnüffeln!
      ja: ich verstehen?

nein?
       wir können fortsetzen...
hinter ihre arsch
                  nein mei:

sie nennen mir vater:
ich nennen du mich:
          ein lieben...
                   nei vater:
   nein fürwort...
           alles für alles ist güt.

i heave to allocate myself
the strip of metaphorical
children,
while my grandfather,
wished: upon dying,
to save a last breath
of life, for the word:
p'ah... p'ah...

    there is no h'american dream
given this...
there is no:
likelihood worth
a tomorrow...

   i have, what i heave
a worth of today...
and... no more...
no more...
no more imbecile's:
beyond the village's
cradle...
i heave the world:
no more!
when the world
doesn't visit me,
why am i,
to visit, the world?!

i have been broken
by you once, before...
and before,
toward a now...
to are...

             a figment of
god's imagination,
and my the complete
opposite of activity...
to be entombed for
a worth of agitation...

i am a village person,
a god can stomach
a world, a city,
a: added crucibles count...
i? i cannot...
   god can have the city,
i am no more a man
than the man i will
ever be,
confined to a village
and troop of:
the scuttling baron
scheme of the escaping
baron from the body of
self-esteem...

i am not the world's worth
of expression...
the day and the world in
it can extend to the world
in a day of a 365 divided worth...
i'm not greater...
i can never be more...

i want to live a life,
with a sort of death awaiting me...
with which:
i did not live to
have lived,
         to have to heave
the breath that priors itself
to: the taken breath.

you get me?
i don't want to...
have to...
               make my life,
as if a death:
a consecrated ground
of...

   and as many words i could
end up writing
but never having written...

i did not live to
have lived,
         to have to heave
the breath that priors itself
to: the taken breath -

as being the taken life;

you understand me?
i am not
beyond a sycamore tree's
worth of poker...
in what...
brutally continues
to be recycled...

whether i, mind source,
or i, body disembodiment,
ghost...

                needless to
say,
i much preferred myself
in making a post-humous
stature's worth
of a birch...

         but... who am i...

scout's honor?

                   unto me:
thoughts are less verb-incentive...
and more...
leisures:
not yet undertaken;

        like...
                    who is to be,
who isn't...
            and...

                   a skyve's worth
of unused punctuation marks.
Tom Shields Aug 2020
Striped to the nines
these cats carry pig stickers
animal kingdom death comes quicker
shoeshine, no sunshine, grease ain’t slicker
chalked out in lines
lead bellies line mines
outlaws make laws, break jaws
drop jaws, buy cars, bank rob
live like all-stars, a full-time job
all-grime, an all-crime job
a romantic era of terror
splashy ink does injustice
while they sidle Fords with Thompsons
every John a Dillinger, every Romeo a Clyde
everybody comes to terms with hunger and iron
everybody comes to town either starry or steely eyed
they leave or stay forever, never rich enough to justify why these are the streets they had to die on
it ain’t pretty
black eyed beauties and black tied beaus
lies as easy as blood when the liquor flows
guns and love and money, everybody knows
it’s all business, question contracts and the details get gritty
you can get in clean
but you have to get your hands ***** in this city.


A blues musician blew through the nightclubs with his sound
the rhythm of struggle, poetry and soul come alive
one with his voice, his guitar, singing of how he strived
to make it to the bright lights, he thought it was a miracle he survived
songs of Southland and heartache, the sounds of a segregated culture thriving above ground
what scratch he could collect
he would make if he had to play until he broke his guitar’s neck
wise enough to only accept cash up front, no checks
he was not ashamed of a spotlight
a bluesman can’t be afraid
he tore down the house six nights
and on Sunday he prayed
when he heard his music on the radio, riffs and lyrics ripped and splayed
the mournful soul, howling moon, woeful pontifications and rhythms all butchered onto a premier
a darker, sadder set of eyes than he had ever seen fell back on him from his own rearview mirror
outside of a studio, champagne bottles broken on his back for white rock and roll
at some hour when the sun was too far to imagine rising
he found himself peering over the edge of a darkness in his soul
and the liberating relief was frightening, he wanted to force it to feel surprising
a brown neck and a half ago he traded his first guitar, offered to sign it, too
pawnbroker bought it off him for a bill or two, said “Why, who are you?”
He swapped for a pistol under-the-counter and the bullets
bought a couple bottles of liquid encouragement to help him think it through
he drove out to the record label where the thief was lauded on the air
sitting is his car with his last guitar, barrel scratching his head, parting his hair
he was half-awake, about to leave when he saw four people walking out of there
a quick release, trigger, clutch and gas, the conspirators who stole his soul collapsed,
he drove into town to sell it back one piece at a time just as fast.


Putty in palms
men melt in her gaze
Medusa couldn’t ****** a man as easily
Penny flies with fancy and never stays
she was the high school sweetheart, girl next door,
to the star quarterback, to the class president, who fought viciously over her
who were sidetracked brawling while she was romanced by promises of city life
which swept her off the suburban sidewalk, and deposited her in a diner
where a man would come to blows over her, promising to make her his wife
she led men to collide with one another, they called her the Lucky Penny
she loved the attention, flirtatious eye-batting and men being reduced to fools
it was nothing shy of flattery, her chest felt empty without superficial value
and what is a better showing of what you’re worth than what someone else is willing to do to someone else to keep you?
She never really cared beyond the surface for any of them at all,
until, of course, she was ensnared herself by becoming a moll
Penny would only go steady with someone as beautiful as she was,
this invited trouble to her diner, because
a pretty-boy gangster oversaw collections in the area, just as handsome, just as clean
every bit as petty as Penny, twice as angry, twice as spiteful, and twice as mean
he carried a switchblade knife, a jackboot blade, he would love an excuse to cut ribbons out of skin
he had the sharps in spades, sharp wits, looks, angles, and cuts, when they met Penny was already done in
pretty boy promised her the moon, gave her a pad, he made sure she stayed living in the lap of luxury as long as it was his lap, and she’d never step out of line after the first time he got mad
she was number three in a marriage, in over her head and scared for her life
Penny, the apple of every man’s eye, a prisoner, mistress, and second to a mafia wife.

Ruthless killers aren’t these snarling giants
they’re scrawny, little, barbed wire, white men
capable of extreme and unconscionable acts of violence
you never see them until it’s too late for status quo, still water silence
deeper though, you never know, a gun is just bamboo, a ball and black powder, light it
your next-door neighbor could be the next news-maker, a headline teenager
used to be you’d never know somebody got shot if they popped 911 on your personal pager
the world isn’t spinning any faster, but these gray matters will age ya,
I say, going postal isn’t even a clever turn of phrase yeah?

Sunup in the city, Chicago typewriters were dogearing a page in history
like firecrackers going off just before dawn, you could see them from a sky penthouse
the locations of every execution, it wasn’t a mystery
a plan went off without a hitch, an overtaking in the criminal industry
you can say it, business is booming
body-bags went out by the half dozen to a dozen spots, by noon sirens were still zooming
out of precincts, hearses and coroners, ambulances and firetrucks, police too
it wasn’t a warzone, it was a crime scene, every block everywhere, put tape around the whole county
you could bring every citizen in as a witness, they’d probably all have a statement, it was anarchy,
an entire organization was weeded out and killed, with efficient brutality, and get this, no payment offered up for a revenge bounty
nobody retaliated, they were emasculated, eviscerated, devastated and decapitated, nobody knew who held the keys to the city, but we knew to revere the new monarchy
and for months there was humidity so thick it made me sweat through my collar, an air of anxiety
terror is what you don’t know, can’t understand, aren’t able to feel, hear, or even see…


So, I’ll put a bomb in the mail, watch his face turn pale, stand outside the window
make his wife a widow, I’m not settling for the ironic justice he doled out
my life wasn’t nothing, but now it’s always something, ever since I sold my route
a job in this town is a weapon in the wrong hands, if you work for good folks, you’ll be met with injust demands
I delivered payroll for a law firm, took an armored van and stuck to plans
making sure paralegals and secretaries and partners see their paychecks, private sector, shotgun overhead on the rack, nine-millimeter on my side, and rifle in the back
same three to a car, I always drive, if you’re gonna hit us in broad daylight, it’s gotta be on Monday when we’re fully loaded, as we cross this bridge and you better promise we all stay alive
I get my cut, a quarter million, a Judas’ fee to guarantee the financial security of my family and we’ll be packing live rounds if you think of double crossing me, for our own safety
that day hits, we come across the bridge to a traffic stop
I was sweating bullets, my partner rolled down the window to talk to the cop
an accident ahead, then a sudden, deafening pop
now I feel the adrenaline flood, my face is covered with my friend’s blood
I’m kicking at the door, a ricochet bites my ear, I think my head is gone
but even if I’m dead I’m still running for dear life, I’m going on
I hear screaming, automatic gunfire, he’s shooting, taking them out with him,
he’s dying, I’m ripping my uniform off and ducking out, half-blind, the lights get dim
it’s days later, I’m contemplating the darkest things I’ve ever thought, outside a ***** cop’s residence
I’ve barely eaten, I’ve barely thought of anything except tracking this heist crew down, and now I’m showing hesitance
I’ve followed them since that day, I know this is it, they’re all inside, four bad men got rich and two good men died
one coward allowed it to happen, I’m gripping my sidearm, they won’t strip me of my pride, I don’t need any evidence
He kicks the door in, gun drawn on four men, their families just outside, seconds tick away, sweat drips, feet sway, chairs slide and casings clatter, he serves up an equalizer on a platter, that day it’s not a blue matter, it’s a blood splatter, eight dead, four thieves and three collateral, with a lone gunman at the heart of it all.

Fisticuffs always calls up a type of fighter, former priors
agents looking at delinquency like juvenile homes are boxing regency
adopt a son, own a slave, train him to fight for his home and do it all legally
coattail riding, meal ticket punching, a prizefighter raised from adolescence
to do one thing as soon as he enters a ring, turn lights out, win a money bout, leave opponent with no recollections
a colored boxer, killing competition in a record winning Olympic position
never shies away from trouble he tucks his chin and takes it double
always looking on the uppercuts, combinations break safes, open faces and break up guts
a contender for a spot, he’s dreamt of this, he’d give everything he has now away for this shot
it’s a chance at a chance, the only one he’s got
he loves his foster father and his foster mother and it feels like they’ve worked to give him a lot
sitting front row in reserved seats, while ten rounds pass,
his brain rattles in his skull, while they eat popcorn and sit on their ***
hands trembling in his gloves, slumped in the corner, cut the swelling eyes to let him see
he is dying ninety seconds at a time, how long can he last?
His masters don’t stand unless he falls, their love is slavery
these gloves that keep his hands in fists are new cuffs, they contain him, set him free!
He spits blood on the mouthguard, leaves his teeth on the mat, presses off on his knuckles and clears the ten count with the referee
eyes like a monster, he finally snapped, and wore the leather out
he proved his love was stronger than anyone and anything,
by beating his opponent into a fatal coma, in twelve rounds, blood pooled at silent spectator’s feet, as he continued to swing
it was an undercard they never forgot when he went back to prison and left it all in the ring.

Terror is what you don’t know, can’t understand, aren’t able to feel, hear, or even see
and for months I dreamt of what I saw that day with no lucidity
I was locked down in the tragic relivings of a marred, scarred up, firebomb charred memory
they look for the truth in their ink, why does that burden fall on me?
All I am is all I could ever be!
Dogged, **** tired, I put a cigarette out on my arm to see if I’m awake sometimes
sometimes I do it to see if I’m alive, after bearing witness to fresh hell, in some crimes
investigative journalism, my life’s work, it’s all dirt
digging for one breathtaking coffin, until my lungs hurt
it’s misery in a city of misgivings on loop for eternity
they know no one can stomach the bottom; even the bottom falls out
and the bowels and the guts spit up their disgust, the bile discussed their vile supremacy in doubt
but the duty still lands in my lap and I carry it readily if wearily
a good deed is unheard of, which is why the death of all factions
all fractions of crime, all at one time, all one action done on a dime, is killing me
I know there’s something more behind it all, that kind of slaughter would take an army
where does it begin, who’s covering up, lying and playing pretend, where does one thread stop when another one ends?
Am I standing in a web or a noose?
Am I cutting through a conspiracy or am I cutting myself loose?
I feel as if I’m suspended by my own suspicion!
I am lost and I’ve been more directly involved, more focused on a mission!
There are laughs in the walls of motels where I stay,
when I take my pills and check out for the night they giggle “Have a nice day!”
I’m sure of nothing, why do I know there must be foul play!
The streetsweepers must have an agenda, they must profit in some way
but they don’t come out of the woodwork to claim any coercion or pay
any heroics or fame, if any figurehead stood behind them, that person stands at bay
while I wait with bated breath, knowing one thing of murderers who achieve a getaway
that they either are assured of success enough to retire, or to attempt a grander feat of death…

Once an aging prima donna fell upon a spotlight
with all the natural talent of the charismatic, valorous and gallant, a comet in the starlight
she could sing and act and dance and grant wishes with magic if directed so
so, she was a child when she graced stages with her presence every night
crushing the pressure of performances that sink politicians by the sheer size
she could captivate and entertain, dazzle, razzle, sizzle, and shock a crowd
ahead of her time and curb and curtain, her cast and calling, producers she seemed to hypnotize
evoking the ire of every other actress, singer, dancer and magic woman living loud
she burst with color onto silver screens and took the world that was hers by any means, the masses she could mesmerize
even in black in white they fell in love with the gaze of her baby blue eyes
and the only thing to slow or stop this comet’s meteoric rise
was time, she was too old for the parts they wanted every woman for,
tapdancing and vaudeville, lounge singing and musicals, from the ivory tower to the first floor,
an aging prima donna, who would never want to play a bit role or a fill a hole well, she was a goner
she wanted to trailblaze, turn these old ways into new days
and she only needed new opportunities, a chance to shine in her advanced age
for the elderly actress desired to perfect an archetype in drama, beginning with one screenplay page
she wrote herself a major part, around the central cast, so the young talent could shine in the brighter lights, while she would create a legacy to outlast
and they look for her today in her films and wonder what changed to make it so,
that the energetic and happy woman lost all her glow, to go and wither into shadows where she would play the crone and cantankerous, conniving, lonely gypsy or old widow.

In a new era, a new form, the prizefighter came back, weathered the case
five to ten
years off the prime of his career
militant Islamic conversion in the joint, scowl permanently on his face
disowned his adopted home, disemboweled his circle to scorch earth for some personal space
and worked harder to prove he deserved to earn the boxing commission’s good grace
got his boots back on, never out of shape, kept them laced
older and slower, but stronger than ever, a lifestyle change is a new pace
he met a new agent, a man with his true interests at heart, cross it and hope
he’s representing the same faith, referral by a cellmate, representing the same race
he’s educated and well-dressed, his lawyers got lawyers who all send money upriver
so why would he ever sell a fighter downstream? He’s all about one color, one power
the power is cash and the color is green! He’s selling prizefighting like a butcher sells liver
looking at his prime killer like he’s working by the hour, like the man has never been here
he’s lost speed, gained mass, sore in the bones from time’s past and passed in the joint, he’s one night away from an official anoint-
meant, appointment with the king, a racial salesman who takes advantage of the divide to provide a talking point with his melanin
when he doesn’t care, he doesn’t even see people before him as more than cattle or less than human
and with every victory he’s seeing clear, the field he’s standing in is tall grass
he’s struggling to see the path he walked in on, but he’s got to keep burning through the gas
promotion, fight, rounds of blood and sweat, hand held high, interview gab, it’s not over yet
locker room politics, agents and deals, brands and lawyers and contracts, contacts, pagers and producers, politicians and televisions and business meals
he’s got a clear role on only one side of things, that’s why he lets the bird out of the cage because money talks and sometimes ******* sings
but when it comes down to trimming the fat, he earns his living in training and between the ropes in how he lives and how he wins when he swings
and he goes out with a record of sixty fights with eight losses and no contest, one of the most controversial champs to duke it out in those rings.

That they either are assured of success enough to retire, or to attempt a grander feat of death
I swear to ******* God I’m being followed ever since I left the last spot, it’s like the city knows I’ve been holding my breath
it started choking me, hands wrapped around my neck, I’m cut off from my office I can’t even cash a field check, I left my kids in the separation, this story is it, I don’t have nothing left
I’m chasing lights where there’s only flickering projectors, looking for the big picture at the point of origin
it’s never going to reveal itself to me, I hear the voices of professors trampling my voice again
the streets don’t just open up and take every killer, thief and ****** back, every assault charge and corrupt landlord, cop, lawyer and councilman
all the big fish swam away after the attack, like rats on a sinking barge, it’s their word full stop, against the everyman
but if the system breaks down at the point of their cogs, the people who do their ***** work, and witnesses all suddenly outnumber them with righteous indignation, armed and willing to catch a case then…
Who’s going to be left to clean up after that?
Three days, five days, eight, fully awake with the full realization, a health hazard with walls where I sat
the story of the century in my lap, I looked like warm crap, like something the buildings and streets formed teeth to chew up in their maw and back out they spat
figures not even the bones of this old gal would like the flavor of an emissary to the truth
I rattled my fist to the ceiling on the ninth day, kicked a rat of my mattress, pulled the story off my typewriter, and muttered “Let’s see how they like that!”
for the first time I saw daylight, I saw a kid standing outside waiting to rob me, hand in his pocket, he cocked a hammer and told me to drop it,
I stood frozen, sure everything was true if they were waiting to stop it going through the presses, I was ready to die when an old man came by, chased him off with a cane and yelled “Stop it!”
this boy dropped two rocks he clicked together to make a gun noise in his coat and ran, I was stunned and I just studied the face and thanked God for the old man
I interviewed him, a source for my civilian militia, and next week I was in a real bed in my apartment when they ran the issue.

Many months ago, something crazy happened, our family had a tight net over the whole city then it snapped and
lieutenants, enforcers, soldiers all turned on each other on the orders of opposing captains
we turned to our cops, sergeants and detectives, turns out their own were capped before then
cops were ******* with corruption and a lone gunman who hit their families and crossfire killed three kids, four men, rich thieves died poor men,
every single lawyer and city politician at that time was locked up with all eyes on the boxing commission and a homicide spree tied to a ******’ blues musician
it was like all the focus left and they let clowns just step in, meanwhile we were undermined by our own kind, greedy backstabbers and
they cost us the whole operation, cannibal rats, growing fat off our own hind end
in the confusion every two-bit hood and crook, every able-bodied gun and ******, every veteran and rookie, all the way from the bottom to the Consigliere got took,
I found the underboss hanging on to evidence that shut the Don out of the state from a firebombed butcher’s shop in the back by a meat hook, bullet riddled legs limp and falling off, a dozen dead thugs by a card game in the back, plates with cold steak and scrambled eggs
papers ran facts on the carnage, questioned the anarchy, only one washout journalist tried to explain
he must have racked his brain, put himself through so much pain,
in a blind spot there was just another crime, on a scale that looked insane
he said good people were out there, outnumbering the bad
that no matter the hard times, those breed helping hands from survivors who know what they’re like, because they see you having the same day they’ve had
his words were in print, but I felt them reaching out and the fingertips fell short of the grasp
he was a man drowning in senseless slaughter, coming up for air and that was what he saw in a gasp
I know they need hope, but they don’t know it like I do, it’s the environment that breeds the opportunity, otherwise we would never get away with what we do
people don’t make the city clean
you know what I mean
there’s a system, they operate it, a monolithic, twisted, broken glass jaw of a weaker species that spits spiteful and sick ****, it’s full of hatred, eyes red, bureaucrats that ******* cats to see them land on their backs, it only speaks the language of violent acts so it only understands you if you attack, everything in the string-pullers is the least of actual humanity, it’s forsaken because they are the most of what a person lacks, and we answer to their highest calling it’s brass tacks, it’s a blood tax, it’s a wish come true light the candle at both ends and wait until there’s no more wax,
the city isn’t *****, it was built by us, it wasn’t perfect when we got here, but we **** sure broke her trust, you either live the life you want or you die how you must.
write
please read and enjoy
Siya Mulge May 2020
While it flawlessly divines itself during the shine and the rain,
All the while it stands boldly upright;
Keeping the thought of being colossal away,
While people are trying to bring it down;
  It stands perfectly in its position,
  Despite being stamped, crushed
  Cut please, or just brushed.
  It is deeply hurt, yet a picturesque sight!
  All it desires is a bit of shine and a drop of water,
   For it priors the great before itself,
   In require of no care or smother,
It relentlessly grows with nothing more..
Deeds  so high, yet chooses to be rooted to the massive floor!
While it suffocates beneath to make a soft bed for the tired,
While it brings life over the dead dark browns;
It bears acceptingly  whatever comes to its way,
Not giving a single thought!
I want to be a strong so like grass ;
They call it mediocre, I call it sight!
Classy J Nov 2022
Feelings left unresolved,
How is it that humans evolve?
Yet I stagnate unfulfilled?
Perhaps, because I treat God like a happy meal?
Numb the pain, take another pill.
Shut the **** up, I know the drill.
Losing myself to the venom, becoming ill.
Eyes grow berserk, the minds become a rind of a lemon shell.
Soured my soul, how can I heal?
When my oppressors are in jail,
Got no one else to blame,
I’m the one keeping myself in hell.
Oh joy, got to swallow another bitter pill.
Insanity plagues my actions like a hamster wheel.
Watching as humans adapt to a reality,
That I can never feel.
How can I expect a holy father to answer prayers,
If I’m struggling with the idea that he’s not even real?
Perhaps, because I don’t know a father that is holy?
Abandoned, yet always yearning to be worthy.
Should I blame my father,
Or the system that did my people *****?
That ironically came in the name of the almighty.

Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.

Desires lost due to self medication.
Expired hope, feelings numb to the condemnation.
Hard to be a free man with priors,
Even if you dress nice and are clean shaven.
Past regrets and actions have found their equation.
Evicted convict chained since the day they took formation.
Hard to ace the test with Ace’s, let alone get a well financed and funded education.
Knowledge hindered by trauma passed down from generation to generation.
But instead of evaluation and validation,
One is meet with subjugation and marginalization.
Are you starting to see the correlations?
Can’t adapt or evolve, because of unchanged racist policies, acts, and legislations.
With our history undermined by ignorant Caucasians.
Should I blame myself?
Or the ones that caused this devastation?
That came with promises of salvation.

Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.

Fangs of malice,
Dig into the imbalance.
Hard to give up the taste from the chalice.
Hard to give up living in a palace.
Money gained from silence.
Blood is thicker than water,
But fill up what the mind is.
Big headed ego, that’s where the pride is.
Can’t ever please your highness.
Cant escape the actions that were heinous.
Even if you pour the wine down your esophagus.
Or snort up coke like snuffleupagus.
Hard to be genuine, when you where the public is.
Wear a mask, fake a smile, save your images.
Donating money to the same kids,
That work in slave workplaces.
Where they work to keep up your appearances.
Everyone’s a hypocrite, live with it!
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2022
title: leftover;
body: comb-over blonde
"bruise".


the music is not loud enough...
i SAID: THE MUSIC IS NOT LOUD ENOUGH!
the cats look bothersome,
circling me like i'm to something...
there's still plenty to do to fill the day...
Ghost's Call Me Little Sunshine...
of course i've been drinking...
looking out for swans in the clouds...
and Behemoth...
what a pristine winter this has come to be....
no better season to fall in love...
i still have to do the vacuuming...
will i iron my shirts today, or is that... tomorrow?
i don't give a **** about how she feels...
i like feeling in love...
i love it more when i've drank a little
and have a canvas of responsibility
before me, itching me with all those priors...
i love how i'm feeling at this moment...
today i said my first cliché...
it felt that i awoke into a dream...
no, not even i tried to burn my left hand's knuckles
with cigarette buts....
it wouldn't matter... i enjoy pain...
that's the "problem".... i think i'm still dreaming...
given that i dream so little
when sleeping... i just sleep...
zombie cult of the void: that's me...
she'll think very little of it...
but i just gave her a piece of my soul...
my handwriting...
            when females write they write...
voluptuously... girly...
they write like they look...
oh mein gott... and if they connect the letters?
i was once allowed
before the QWERTY transformation
took place...
i write in digits... i wish i could retain
the "ancients" handwriting, connecting
the letters in a word and segregating the words
apart... alas... ha ha...
i stroke my beard imagining a violin...

i was looking at the sky and thinking of etymology...
a few birds flew by...
if gołąb: for dove sounds ugly...
what about the English equivalent of
seagull - in my tongue it's a: i'll need to employ
the tetragrammaton to stress the aesthetic...
m'eh-v'ah... mewa... (w = ł = v / vw)...
there's no 5 in the ****** tongue...
"double U" my ***... it's a double V... 55...

swan vs. łabądź...
                             i'm sorry to say...
English has no supposed superiority as a language
per se... it's the values of the English that
make it such a desirable destination...
the language itself is a ******* Frankenstein ugly...
there are just too many loops in the holes
in it... to allow myself to be defending it...
then again... i will, regardless...

but there are certain nouns that sound better
in different languages...
blau sounds better than blue...
better still... NIEBIESKI...
red... rot... CZERWONY (ČERVONÝ)...

and all this pronoun crap... sure... sure... i took
the royal approach... you want gender neutrality?!
my "preferred" pronouns are:
ONE & WE... how's that?
one might add, that we ought to fathom taking up
this sort of approach, are we agreed upon?
i'm a foreigner, this is not my native tongue...
but if the natives want to abuse their zunge to
the extent that foreigners mind the supposed
revisions... you know you're knee-deep in sham-b'oh...
****...  what's a szambo? in the countryside
that's the hole in the ground where all the ****
is deposited into...

  yeah... oh... oh... you figured?! ******* Sherlock over
'ere is on the wrong side of...
what it feels like having been born in a former
satellite state of the Soviet Union at a time
when western capitalism was giving the red button
on exporting metallurgy from Europe &
everything else toward the project:
Made In China...

                 what are we doing?
     ****'s sake... for the most part i think i'm just...
loitering... getting brain-drain...
but that's just me... perhaps other people think they're
actually important... those casually orientated
busy-bodies... me? i'm just loitering...
getting my brain drained from existence...
juiced up into a pickle-jar...

it's enough for me to stub out cigarettes on my knuckles
in order to make my job easier...
just look more intimidating...
persuade the football hooligans to desist from
trying to have a physical confrontation with
you... just like a bicyclist can become
a "shepherd" of the traffic...
if he knows the formidability of arrogance...
or aggressive cycling...
the cars will follow suite...

            and all this talk of love... i still have to vacuum
the house... clean the toilet... blah blah...
check on my bicycle... since all for green power...
blah... and i like the idea of generating my own
momentum... radfahren in die nacht...

lucky me for not wanting "enough" money...
just have these banknotes from Imperial Russia....
and those gold coins with
the emblem of Nicholas II... keep them safe...
now, the dictates of petty women playing their games...
their petty games... while i sit back & watch....
i know that i'm sitting on mint...
if i'd walk up to any Russian Oligarch...
i'd get back 100x the returns...
i'm just waiting for the right time...
but i'm just waiting... loitering like a fly...

            i won't be eating much today....
i can play the role of LOSER...
    i'll wait... and... i'll wait...
          i'm sitting on a jackpot... though...
it's a nice filter to have...
        of the people that treat me nice...
of the people that treat me like ****...
i'll still buy them flowers....
much easier compared to dancing
on their graves...

    oh... Jeminah... your name ought to be a curse
word for me... all the prior Gemmas...
Jemmas... have been nothing but curses
in my "calendar"...
with one i asked for a photograph
so i could sketch her back to her...
she agreed...

          i will continue to love...
even if i'm to be topped up with exasperation(s)...
i will love... because...
there's no amount of adrenaline
that can match up to this sort of level
of exhaustion.....
    i love because of what i feel,
rather... what i'm expected to give / forgive...

solipsist, i,
i like feeling what i necessarily am reluctant
to give.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2018
oh sure, sure, sure...
when all the nurses
want to sing
on X-factor...
   when karaoke ambitions
takes over
nursing, now,
supposedly,
active ingredients
of a nuclear fall-out..
sure... medical health-care
is bad...
as long as a fetish
for X-factor
  karaoke singing
contests is
legitimately good...
        oh sorry...
you thought yourself
to be, so good,
as to bypass oligarchical
cloning devices?
sorry, what?!
  the day is here,
when people rather sing,
as a cure, like some
voodoo doctor...
      than attempt the menial
task of "incriminating"
themselves
in the prospect of nursing...
but hell...
karaoke machine saves
all...
          nobility, purpose...
dies a perpetuated spiral
sentence of...
death... layer... by layer,
by layer...
  hell... but at least we can
kumbaya ourselves toward
that, that...
eternal, sleep, known as dearth;
nothing wrong with
social care...
  but there is...
something wrong with making
priors to:
               it's like people known
how to enforce the queue...
       apparently the
neuspeziell ist hier!
           i'm so lucky to have these
special people with their
private medical...
  so lucky...
    care...
     so lucky...
     it's almost like i need them
like i might need a plumber...
people who don't know how
to stand in a queue...
            but it's nice...
Gorbachev approved
testimony of curing his wife
of cancer...
               who the **** becomes
sick on a Sunday?
    why be such a *****,
why not pull-tough-pull-through?
oh... right... we're talking
about a civilized people,
who have allergies...
nuts, berries, gluten...
           biologically weakling
excerpts of humanity...
           no wonder they are prone
to quickened medical
attention.
Dominque Rodello Oct 2023
I want to be a writer
But my depression makes me tired

Never seen myself as much of a fighter
Maybe its just how im wired

Lighters set things on fire
Happiness feels like a liar

Why are the morning birds growing quieter
The walls in my head are closing tighter

Seeking help is feeling dire
Cause getting high doesnt feel any lighter

The holes are growing wider
Nothing to say cause i feel like a whiner

My mental health has priors
Im the guy struggling in the flyers

Ticking time bomb without a timer
Thats not drawn on red eyeliner

Cuts always heal a little finer
But I need my fire to burn brighter
jas May 2020
everyone around as we know it
fights their own demons
whether it be the mind
their body
the people that surround them, constantly
it's so repetitive and yet we choose to ignore it all
why?

it doesn't diminish any priors of the past
the memory can haunt you forever, if willing

— The End —