"possessively" poems
"when my body was mine"
a line read recently
did i let my body slip out of my own skin
before i noticed
was i so oblivious as it dripped between their fingers
so far from my skin
when i was told i was old enough to need to shave,
my hair wasn't mine anymore.
when my rough and wild behavior
was no longer considered ladylike enough,
and i had to tame my wild skin
to sit and dance in proper ways,
my posture wasn't mine anymore.
when my toes were deemed to callous for society
my innocent beautiful little toes
were strapped into shoes
and forgot their freedom for a time,
my feet were no longer mine.
when they called out at my body
when it possessively dripped between their fingers
i realized that i had let my body belong to other people
and so i let my hair grow thick
everywhere
and i carry myself with the joy i feel
and i sit and dance from the inside out
trying to forget how much i may stand out
vulnerability is strength
vulnerability is strength
i tell myself
as i dance barefoot with hairy underarms
in out-of-style clothes and an unpainted face
come dance, please come dance,
so we may taste the flavor of life together
Dec 10, 2017
Dec 10, 2017 at 9:30 AM UTC
Transparency of your soul looks me in the eye
and I can see the weight of the world
breathing possessively
as you whisper why.
I can read your thoughts better
than I can read your lips
and there is no question
as to what the words mean
delivered.........
with your each and every sigh.
I believe someone told you
the world wears a veiled smile
and attempts
to cling deceptively to your every breath
like a warrior breaks all stillness.
Yet, I see that you are not afraid
to sit and think
about how great men can fall in a moment
when preyed upon...........
by life's unwillingness.
Come with me when your heart aches
from standing in the shadows
of those thoughts
that have been tucked away
in the air you breathe.
Always remember that our time
waits in a path of sunlight
lying beyond the stillness
that will never fade
from all.........
that we can feel
and see.
Yes, the fingertips of happiness
strum my words
setting fires ablaze
so you can see me looking
into the transparency of your soul.
Everything is well-defined
even if it seems out of your control
and there is no need to apologize
when the weight of the world
keeps you.....
from feeling whole.
Apr 23, 2012
Apr 23, 2012 at 3:33 PM UTC
Read between the lines
running theme
running in and out
and inbetween
moments in my life.
Taunting me is Miss Mystery
and her sweet moments of ecstacy
carry me
to questions of implied imagery.
The space between each line I
write and read;
each line I wait on, drive on;
each line I listen between;
each line spoken to and from me-
Endless misunderstanding
undertaking me.
Undertaken me!
We never say
We never sing
what we really mean.
We never reach a destination
on these lines driven between.
The answer is hiding
for her benefit.
The answer has
Nothing to do with you
Nothing to do with me
Us, barbaric human beings
being arrogant with the lines
we speak.
Arrogance thriving between lines
paved with housing establishments
while the space between mountain ranges
sits vibrant,
patient.
All made of sunshine
All made of peace of mind
All made between the
thin line of atmosphere.
I actively disrupt her.
Mindlessly disregarding the
space between lines.
I act so possessively towards this
life of mine.
Yet, observant
I try to be.
Silent
I try to be.
And I try
to read between the lines
my mind project before my eyes.
My eyes: with lines protruding from all sides,
when I'm the least bit pleased.
Oh, least bit of knowledge I've gained
from these meditative rants that my
subconscious recalls only when there are
no designated lines to write between.
Lack of lines let's my subconscious free.
Selfish as each human being;
each human being free
I wait
more or less
patiently,
for someone to
read between my worn eye-lines
correctly.
Englightenment
I wait to
want me
or,
wait to
watch me.
I wait for the nameless to see me.
Desire's undertaking me,
Undertaken me!
I never say,
I never sing,
what I really mean.
Desire turned nameless me needy.
Me, the
Nameless human being
Nameless between
lines of Nameless Humans
being free,
being greedy.
Jan 24, 2013
Jan 24, 2013 at 5:59 PM UTC
Open your eyes
“...”
Look at me
and tell me what I have become.
I cannot see for myself
My reflection melts mirrors
and turns puddles into vapor
I glare into the abyss
Hoping to catch a glimpse of my own pupils
I don’t know what I look like
Tell me,
How will my eyes look
when our stares meet for the first time?
“Empty”
Yes, I tore out the soul
Behind the doors of flesh covering my eye sockets
I have scraped my nails against bone
As my fingers pressed into my eyes
and carved out the consciousness that possessed me
Open your eyes
“...”
I need to know how my skin pulsates
What undulating form has it taken today?
Can you hear it?
Gurgling restlessly
My shape refuses to remain consistent
Tell me,
What will my body look like
when you lay eyes on me?
“Damaged”
Yes, I am wounded
The color crimson oozes from my pores
It sticks to my flesh possessively
I collect chunks of the liquid on my skin
As I imagine it decorates me nicely
Open your eyes
“...”
I need you to describe my limbs
For I always feel that I am reaching
for something I cannot obtain
My fingers squirm
into tight crevices and holes they are unwelcome in
Like curious, thoughtless insects
Unaware of the consequences for prying
Tell me,
What will my limbs appear as
when you set sight on me?
“Demented”
Yes, I have fought against conformity
by twisting my bones out of line
Listen. Hear each splintering cracks
defining how I am different
Open your eyes
“...”
You have to answer what my expression looks like
I can never seem to sync my face with my emotions
It’s tricky to coordinate such complex ideas
Tell me,
What will my expression be
when you finally gaze upon me?
“Grinning”
Yes, I’m afraid I can’t change that
I carved my smile with a butcher’s knife
from ear to ear
So I wouldn’t have to fake it anymore
Now open your eyes
“...”
Tell me what I have become
Shackle me to my image
Let me stare back at someone
who sees me for the first time.
Look at me.
Feb 26, 2021
Feb 26, 2021 at 10:25 PM UTC
Four black matchstick legs
with white strike tips
large belly and a strong black haired back
Gunk in his eyes and
behind the top of his long ears
he leans into delight
strong torse against leg
behind swaying in the breeze
belly rubs and dominance
the possessively agressive- toilet paper connoisseur
arthritis in his back right leg
I the nightly electronic chair lift
squatter on grass green blanket
I was away when it got worse
no acclimation
full on hell storm
ten years ago...
second grade he pooped in the hallways
he's grown out of the escapist gene
looking back now with our loving eyes
my best friend and brother
Spyro: My Brother Dog.
Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 10:12 PM UTC
As of lately, I've been lost in translation
in this transcended state of thought
every thought running into one another
Impeding on the clarity of my perception
Leaving me in a state of panic
Searching for something slightly out of reach
As the needle threads the weave
My mind entangles the threads into
a mass insanity of run on sentences
Leaving me nothing but breathless
Left in a state of weak existence
Wrapped within the roots of the
stem of my thoughts and they
grow into shadows of monsters
trying to break free from the dark
but they cannot reach the other side
The light, it seems much too far
to carry on. This train wreck
of distortion is slowly seeping
into my soul. Deafening the
voices at my beck and call
A tragic winding road of
memories keeps bringing me
right back to the same place
I just left and now I'm right
back where I started again
A streaming flowing river of
never-ending thoughts
Always escaping me
Just there long enough
to hold on to a string of words
that hardly make any sense
Am I dreaming or is this death?
I cannot recall ever lying down
on that bed. Resting my head
where all those demons dwell
The lump in my throat fiercely swells
and the smoke filled coughs mask my cries
Repairs the dreadfulness of my daily life
I cannot escape this restless mind
It won't let me rest, it won't power down
The switch is broken and I've lost my crown
along with all the jewels I once possessively possessed
My mind is wandering somewhere
and I haven't a clue when It's due back
© 2013 Christina Jackson
Jun 23, 2013
Jun 23, 2013 at 2:07 AM UTC
The light from a Nordic sun
Casts soft shadows around your haloed skull
Blessed with the voice of God
Speaking through every crack you have let come loose
Your laughter ricochets off of glass screen
Thor's thunder in mortal form
LED back lights highlighting your face in joyful relief
I am in awe
Across many landscapes our revelry roams
Making bold statements through electric edges
Slinging axe and sword for sport
Yet you gentle at a warm touch
Curling possessively around those you love
A protector unknown but always on watch
Your rough hands glide over plastic satin buttons
ahhh... such sweet music they make
Lulling me into a lassitude of comfort
Of good humor
Of lust
We are like children in our recess
Bantering from one side to the other with gauntlets thrown
Pick it up!
Gladly...then up the bar and throw it back down
Will it always be like this?
"I don't know"
I plan on sticking around to find out
Jul 3, 2014
Jul 3, 2014 at 3:59 PM UTC
I reside in your stomach, lying here is bliss…getting gnawed on everyday by your attacking pepsin enzyme. I suspect you would not digest me yet, dear Jennor? You sneak. You, I believe have changed me the most, with your knives. You cut and carve me in your pleasure…shaping, moulding me into the person ridiculously typing this myfuck **** today. In return, I’ve done nothing but bleed with you under the cyanide sun. You’ve ordered me to write, of which I obeyed, and forced me into acceptance. You protect me from everything, at a distance, possessively stalking from the shadows. For that I thank you, and I adore you, ever so dastardly. When I am strong enough, I shall protect you too, and be there to save you…I shall infeckt you in my eternity. You claim my soul, locked up for safety …and but of course, our secrets shall stay untold. Smother me, until I am purple and can no longer breathe.
Dec 17, 2010
Dec 17, 2010 at 4:41 AM UTC
In reclamation of a childhood-mind,
I storm my sobriety with a torrent
of half-assed joints and forgotten poets,
until all that is formed is some vital compound
that links intrinsically, possessively, autonomously,
the motion of sound.
From this I'll crack open that nitrous,
in an attempt to leave eternity bare,
within these primitive paws, sweated clutch
and insufficient air,
that filters oxygen as a reluctant fool,
some corporate machine, or human tool.
It is in reclamation I tend to my childhood-mind,
to storm my sobriety in receipt
of half-assed tragedies and rhyme,
'till all that is left is this fragmented page
of that paradise lost,
on minimum wage.
Jan 22, 2014
Jan 22, 2014 at 9:56 PM UTC
your hands running through my hair
your hands tracing patterns on my skin
your hands cupping my jaw
your hands curled over my hip
your hands sliding over my bare back
your hands gripping my nape
your hands caressing my face
your hands pinning my arms above my head
your hands under my shirt
your hands roaming restlessly, possessively, and tenderly.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 12:03 PM UTC
Flow of time is cruel but I have yet to forget you.
Too afraid of visiting stone monuments, where memories of you hide behind.
I only occupy my room, a room we once both occupied.
I read things I shouldn't.
I notice passages absent, lines blacked out like top-secret archives.
Anything positive now vanishing.
Sincere, heavy, and warm feelings have all dissipated.
Possessively overindulgent; even a timbre gentle white,
Goddess' voice could not alleviate my futile cynical mind.
Visceral note, I guiltily receive alone time to time.
A barbed birthday gift, spite still spilling from it.
Milk-skin and moon-eyed heroine of marvelous design,
Delusional ruin left behind;
She's all mine, I think.
Mar 24, 2013
Mar 24, 2013 at 3:23 AM UTC
i am the mirror
i show you
that all
that you cling to
so adamantly
so possessively
so blindly
so seriously,
i also keep within
things you abandoned
things you forgot
things you overlooked
you cannot even touch
nor you can own
i can recast and rebuild
in microseconds
all that you create
in years and years
because i can let it go
when needed
when something else
is my fate
i follow my destiny
and become
what i am asked
to be
so many worlds
i have seen
and nothing
stays, believe me
you laugh i am a mere reflection
and i smile that your reality is so fickle
see beyond
what i show
i have seen
the future, too
i am the mirror
Sep 27, 2012
Sep 27, 2012 at 1:11 AM UTC
I lost yet found
a piece of myself
there with you
in the moonlight
I lost my heart
it is no longer mine
but now lies inside yours
My soul was found that night
between the trees
and water of the steam
I found it in a place
I never thought to look
in another...
in your heart.
I found it in your words
...I love you
Tentatively
I felt them twist
their way inside me
sinking further
than any other
They reach through me
waking a desire
I didn't know existed
A helpless passion
I found it in your touch
softly
like feathers
yet it was capable
of breaking down
these walls
I built up high
around me
You touched me
like no other
timidly yet possessively
you stole my heart
I found it in you
©ShawnaRenea
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 5, 2016 at 7:57 PM UTC
This is wrong I whisper
And you agree
Yet your hands refuse to move away
Remaining firmly on my sensitive waist
My face a mere inch from yours
Breathing in the same heavy air
We remain still
Connected by our heat
Held in position by those arms
As we gently begin to move
A graceful pace at first
Every movement sending ripples
Scurrying down my back
As I fail to stifle my groans
You gently whisper
That I'm your best friend
''We should stop'' is all I shoot back
And you nod in reluctant agreement
But our movement never ceases
The pace just increases
The rustle of clothes more defined
I pull away in guilt
Our laboured breathing filling in
The silence of unease
''This is wrong''
I mutter again
More to myself than to you
Angered by my own lack of restraint
''So why can't we stop?'' You reply
Piercing me with those eyes
Even in such a pitch black darkness
Your fingernails graze my skin
Ever so softly
And once again we begin
This slow dance of desire
Neither of us able to rein in
These disastrous feelings
Slowly your fingers begin their journey
A new one down south
All I pray is to forget sanity
To defy reality
And just feel
Every movement
Every motion
Every emotion
Yet once again we pull away
With more determination this time
Frustration gracing our bruised lips
Struggling to gather up
The scattered pieces of our conviction
We finally settle down to sleep
Just sleep
We reason
Sharing one flimsy sheet of cotton
Our skin brushing against each other
Ever so softly
As we hope to loose consciousness
Your arms encircling my waist
Possessively so
Your nose nuzzling into my sensitive skin
I turn my face to yours
A good night resting on my lips
You lean in and kiss me
And suddenly I'm on fire
Your hands moving everywhere
Burning trails into my skin
Our heat mashing against each other
Your teeth biting away my resolve
All I can do is pull you in closer
Feel every arc of your body
And give in
To our actions
And when our movements finally cease
Fatigue settling in our bones
You pick me up and hug me tight
Kissing my neck gently
''You're my best friend'' you whisper again
And I smile in tired relief
Falling asleep easily
Encircled in your comfort
With a final whiff of your scent
As I drift off into the darkness alone.
Feb 25, 2015
Feb 25, 2015 at 3:02 PM UTC
I find myself in a place so quiet
That I dare to even breathe
A stillness within that I want to touch
A pocket of palpable ease
The chaos outside wields its frenetic pace
The loudness turned down to mute
I cling to this peace possessively
Willing it so to take root
Feb 12, 2014
Feb 12, 2014 at 11:47 AM UTC
tell my why i still miss you
why it's been months since you held me
and i still can't help tearing myself apart
every night
searching for whatever you saw in me
that you ran away from
tell me why i still want you
why i can't help remembering
your hands on me
holding; sweetly, possessively
resting my head on your shoulder
and you leaning yours on mine
i thought we fit like that
tell me why we don't
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 10:31 PM UTC
still waiting to feel the oceans that moved beneath my skin
when you touched me
still conscious of the way you wrapped your hands around my neck
so possessively, filled with a power I was suctioned to
still remembering the friction between bed sheets
the desperate and lonely kisses we shared
believe me, I'm trying to get it out of my head
I don't want you here anymore
Jun 30, 2014
Jun 30, 2014 at 7:31 PM UTC
Calloused hands slid over me then grips desperately;
The skin on my hips cry for mercy when he grabs hold of me,
I feel your head on my bare shoulder;
A beat of sweat drips down from your brow,
A long leg possessively lays over mine,
Your body tenses,
I know you're dying inside,
I feel the shake.
In sleep you're chased by nasty dreams,
Of a war that you remember distinctively.
His teeth set into my shoulder, I start to scream,
In a blink of an eye he was awake;
Panting, sweating, fearful;
His eyes look at me,
See's the destruction that he made,
It makes him feel like less of a man.
Standing to get a cigarette,
I press my cheek to his,
"I'm a monster" He says,
He believes it.
He's disgusted with himself looking at my ****** hips,
That's what a hero looks like I tell him,
He swears for mercy for himself;
I need a cigarette.
Feb 7, 2012
Feb 7, 2012 at 9:54 PM UTC
aAAAAHHHHhhhh
Insecurity, thy old friend, so much
like Insect,
except you have a "uri" before the t and a "y" after
Possessively hogging my attention
Away, keeping me engaged
Until,
Everything else slips away from me one by one,
by one
by one
by
And all I am left with is you,
only you,
And I bask in you, and sink in you, and merge-
...
Insecurity,
thy old friend
For old time's sake,
Just,
Leave me alone,
Or,
Do I have to ignore you?
...
Even though you're screaming,
In my head
Even though,
you have the ability,
to take over everything and anything
Till all that's left is a-
aAAAAAAHHHHHhhhhh
Insecurity,
The monster in my closet
The monster under my bed
The monster-
Or more like-
A shape shifter,
As pleasant as a cloud
Until,
you give her attention
Then, she greedily
gobbles it up
...
And
you
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 10:08 PM UTC
She escaped into the beautiful unknown
with no recollections of yesterday.
Abandoning the life that clung to her so possessively.
Begging her to stay.
The future called her name,
and she followed with avidity.
This was her fresh start.
Her exhilarating beginning.
Aug 10, 2018
Aug 10, 2018 at 5:26 PM UTC
I wish that your smell didn't still
Linger around me like a phantom
I wish that your kiss wasn't still imprinted on my cheek
Or tickling my neck like a softly woven scarf
I wish I didn't still feel your awkwardness
Clinging to me when I see friends,
That I didn't run home to the absence of your embrace every time I get scared, which is a lot since you left
Your socks sneak into my drawers
And snuggle into mine,
Folding into little laundered intimacies
It's been over year
Can you believe that?
I want to run into your arms and tell you that but I haven't touched you in longer than I care to remember.
God I miss you
I miss having a home
In your smile,
Taking comfort in the warmth of your body under my sheets.
I taste you every morning in my coffee
In my warm pumpkin salad lunches,
At dinner with wine
At all hours on my lips.
You don't know it, but you are with me as I steal expensive groceries,
You feel the thrill as I escape the checkout again.
You stole my heart, it's a clumsy metaphor but you did it,
On that first date you nicked a cheap telescope and through its blur we watched the world lose its focus,
Everything but us
Lost focus
And I still can't see it,
I can't see the world around me
Anymore
And now the memories of you are blurred too,
Either by time or by the tears
I can't tell.
When I was upset you would refuse to leave me alone,
As if you were afraid I'd drown in my own tears if you weren't there to hold me up
Now I am alone and I don't even know
Whether or not I did drown
Or if I will soon
You aren't holding me up anymore,
Instead you are pulling at me desperately, painfully,
Possessively
Heartbreak is jealous of every moment not consumed with it
I am still caught in the web of our codependence, spun and dried out,
No longer burning with poison
But consumed instead with empty death
Have you ever seen the shell of an insect left behind by a spider?
I have
You already know that I felt a strange solidarity with it.
Please call me back,
Even if its just to say goodbye.
I need new words to echo round my empty shell,
Words that aren't "I'd be nothing without you"
"I need you"
"I will always love you"
Please, just give me the sound of your voice saying "its over"
Or "you are beautiful,
The world is gloriously open and new when you are alone"
And you would open your arms and uncurl your fingers,
Not to embrace me,
But to finally let me go.
I am ready-please set me free.
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 10:39 PM UTC
The clouds hug
The diamonds of night sky
Possessively
Like a jealous lover
So none other may
Look upon their beauty
And so I am left with
Harsh synthetic light.
No substitute
Jun 28, 2015
Jun 28, 2015 at 6:31 PM UTC
i found a home
in the piercing loudness of the train
a strange metal box that stopped for no one
and everyone all at once,
in the way my feet scurried up steps
and tapped to the rhythm of
a destination familiar yet unseen.
i found a home
in the makeshift river as thin as my veins,
a respite unexpected but welcome,
and in the beach as endless as
the new happiness that crashed towards me,
waves on a cold, lonely shore.
i found a home
in the hallway without chairs
where we all sat, a little dizzy
words flowing easily
from our lips like the spring breeze
forgetting ourselves and remembering each other.
i found a home that i
built for myself,
with small hands that had never held dirt nor brick
and, trembling with trepidation,
i gave it all my love.
it sways in the wind and rain leaks through the cracks,
but it is the first thing i have ever called mine.
i found a home and left it
and i can’t remember why
and i am deathly afraid to return
for fear i may find it sabotaged by
weeds, thick stems curling possessively around
something i thought was mine
but can no longer recognize.
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 6:55 PM UTC