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Alexis Lewis Dec 2015
have you ever sat and thought about how everything is nothing
and how nothing is really everything
how nothing matters, really, and nothing you say to someone is really
exactly perfect for that moment
because later on, you're just going to go back and think
"saying this would have been better"
and relationships, love, hate
that's not anything either
because it all ends and who is there to read the story afterward
and if there was a story, who would stand to read the heartbreak?
thinking about thinking
thinking about thoughts
about how everything is actually tiny little cells
sparking their tiny existence as if to get something else's attention
but they are too tiny to notice
we can't see the trees for the forest
and really, i wish all that i was was just the tiny invisible cells
so i could drift through matter without being noticed
just drifting along sidewalks and across streets
drifting through existence without a glance from a human
because then i would not feel so acutely conscious
of the stares of others at my broken, huddled, hurting heart
and the hearts around campus that i love
hurting too, because my love could not stand theirs.
it hurts so much, parted without knowing why
and simultaneously knowing it was for the best.
why must anyone have to leave someone they love
just because rationally they know that's not the one for them?
rationalization trumps emotion if you want to continue living
because we all know emotions ****
so we give in to what we know we have to do:
break ourselves, break the other person
and live broken and apart and bleeding all over the concrete ground
wishing for invisibility and refuge.
Shelby Mccrary May 2017
Some people in this world are Vain and shallow as a puddle.

All they care about is flaunting their feathers like a peacock

Trying to show the world that they are perfect all they care about is their outer beauty and not what's Within

But what's within is more important kindness, love and generosity makes for such a beautiful soul

“So if “you ever doubt yourself remember this it's not what on the outside that matters it's the inside

You can either have a beautiful garden on the inside or be completely rotten the choice is all yours

Please Choose Wisely. Poem by Shelby Kathleen Nightingale
Nasus Mar 2021
What matters most
Is not grand gestures
And fancy gifts,
But moments of intimacy
And connection,
Attention
And care.
This speaks to one person in particular - thank you 🙏🏻 - but is indicative for many out there I’m sure
Stephen E Yocum Jan 2014
Once long ago there was a small clan named Kah,
that lived in a cave up a draw, Who at that time,
had yet to discover even fire.

One among them, call him Shire was slightly
brighter than the rest, which is not saying much.

Bah the self appointed leader was a big strong man,
a hunter among men, a good provider.
But a fool in all other matters.

One day Bah returned to the cave with a large green
rock. A rock only different from all other rocks, by it's color.
Bah convinced most of the clan that this one rock was so
special that they all should worship it, get on their knees
and even pray to it, adorn it with bits of meat.

Shire too was a hunter, crafty and skilled, but also a thinker.
In the rock he saw no difference, to him a rock was a rock
and nothing more, although he did admire it's color.

"It's only a ROCK." He told the others and  "nothing more!"

The clan was overcome by anger, how dare this one among
them not believe as they did? That night and the next Shire
got no meat, nor any pleasure from the women. Yet still he
pointed out his belief, that the green rock was no different
than any other and he refused to worship it.

The clan turned their collective backs to him, treating
him as if he did not live. Even his wife and children.
Still Shire did not relent, so sure was he in his own belief.

In a rage of Holy Righteous Indignation, Bah picked up the
green rock and smashed it into Shire's head, caving in his
skull. Where upon the green rock broke into many pieces.

As Shire lay bleeding, dying, he picked up a piece of the
shattered green rock and said, "See brothers and sisters,
it is only a rock, and not a very good rock at that."

Bah kneeled down beside his old friend and he too picked
up bits of the broken rock. Then said to his brother, "I am
sorry I killed you friend."

To which Shire's last words were, "I forgive you."

The clan was so inspired by these events that a new
religion was founded, in place of the rock, the dented
skull of Shire became their new thing to worship.

Many years later, one literate among them carved on
the rock alter under the sacred skull,
                            "He died for our sins".  

And so among them grew a legend,
Shire became a God to his people.

Later still, another professed scholar calling
himself a Priest, carved a commanded message
in the face of the rock alter.
                 "**** not a Brother in the cave,
               before the eyes of our God Shire.
                (Out side however is just fine.")
This satirical stab, is the result of a misplaced discussion on Religion
with a friend, a thing that should be avoided at all costs, is always a
bad idea. To those die hard believers out there look away and forgive
it you can, another man's humble opinion. But I ask you, can't we all
just get along? Show some mutual tolerance?
All I have left is my faith
Everything else has been taken from me
Music and God is all I have left
Nothing else matters

When Walli walked into my life
I knew things were different
I knew I was supposed to leave this depressing city
I knew my dreams were still breathing
Alive somewhere under all my tears
I knew I had to keep pushing and not look back

It was time to turn and face the music
Become who I was called to be
I am working harder than ever for that now
God you are my every thing
My all in all
The only piece of faith I have left
From: Talk *****/Breathe Easy
NitaAnn Jan 2016
She looked in the mirror
Looking back at her
Was a monster
A monster that was made
A monster that needed to be defeated.

Who would win this battle?

She is lying there
Smoking gun in her hands
Unseeing eyes stare up at the ceiling
A trail of blood and brains

The monster grins...He won this round.

She looks at the bottles
Bottle of pills and a bottle of Jack
Just take them...wash them down
The monster whispers.

She complies
Drifting off into a never-ending sleep.

The monster smiles...He won again.

She studies her reflection
In the blade in her hand
Just a few quick slits
And it will all be over.
Trails of sticky, warm blood
Run down her hands
She watches as her life
Pumps out with the last beats
Of her heart.

The monster laughs...he always wins.

*In the end, it does not matter how it came
What matters is He won.
Thomas J Ebert Jun 2011
Black/White

Life isn’t just…
Black or White, Up or down, Wrong or Right
But shades of gray, on a rainy day
When a family cries, ‘*** another member died
While religion lies, and the churches are fake
And you’ll find better salvation by getting baked
All this aggression bursting at my seams
All from figuring out what it finally means
I look into a mirror and it makes me want to scream
But insides my head plays a silver screen

Life isn’t just black or white, but shades of gray
Just like a cloudy sky, on a rainy day

Fight or Flight, War or Peace, Life or Death
But shades of gray brought on by decay
Of bodies littering streets to close to home
Blood and guts and exposed bone
Ash soot and cinders on houses stone
Cities growing corrupt, bankrupt, ingrown
But these great graveyards still hold hope
People live, fighting through all the smoke
Hope for future still unknown evoked

Do or Die, Love or Hate, Day or night
But shades gray found only at twilight
That binds the two, combines the two
Just like commonalties that ties us to
Everyone on earth, both old and new
Does matter what race, creed, or view
We’re all stuck together in the same boat
So don’t try to sink it, make it float
All while singing out this very note

Life isn’t just black or white, but shades of gray
Just like a cloudy sky, on a rainy day



Left or Right, Better or Worse, boy or girl
Doesn’t matter how you came to this world
What matters isn’t what you take from it
But what you make of it, Create from it
What you awake in it, and remake in it
There are no shortcuts you can take in this
And resist the temptation to not coexist
Try to remember my rhyme deep in your mind
And remember the lines are never defined

Life isn’t just black or white, but shades of gray
Just like a cloudy sky, on a rainy day

Life isn’t just black or white…

Life isn’t just black or white…

Life isn’t just black or white…
Its actually a song, but same principle as a poem right?
jad Jul 2014
"Wander a whole summer if you can. The time will not be taken from the sum of life. Instead of shortening, it will indefinitely lengthen it and make you truly immortal." John Muir

"we change. whether we like it or not."

There is a small stallion in me that kicks at my stomach linings when i remain stationary too long. Not physically stationary, but stationary in life. He isn't named because I have yet to fully understand him enough, but I know that his endurance has pushed me far beyond my limits and therefore destroyed them.
By taming that stallion, I am allowing myself to remain wild. I am using my understanding of myself to take the reins and pursue what needs pursuing.
It has allowed me to rise from my greatest wrecks and the most deadly of wreckage not unscathed but changed and always for the better.

I am a messy person. I find it difficult to keep blank pages clean and the colors inside the lines. I spill myself all too often into the things I create and the people I meet. I have lost myself more than a few times when looking for trivialities. But despite my lack of organization, I have a moral compass that does not flutter in the wind, pointing due north and I have a loyalty to myself and to the bettering of the world that is unwavering.I am using my understanding of myself to take the reins and pursue what needs pursuing.
It has allowed me to rise from my greatest wrecks and the most deadly of wreckage not unscathed but changed and always for the better.


I could go and invent a pizza pouch that allows your pizza slice to be easy access and even more portable and I would probably make millions, but what good would that do than just encourage people's laziness and immediate pleasures?

The only way to avoid criticism is to be nothing, do nothing, change nothing, and even then people will still call you boring. Let the criticism come, the hatred too, it means you're doing something.

I've found that the key to success in any endeavor is making the conscious decision to make it happen, whatever it is and no matter what may happen to you along the way. It is that and then to be stubborn about it, but flexible with your methods.


I was once dared to lick the ski lift pole in a -20 degree blizzard. Anyone who has been to elementary school is fully aware of the seriousness behind a dare. A dare is no joke, though we may laugh at it. A dare is a binding agreement with the gods and also the demons that you will fulfill your destiny and display your loyalty to your friends. Even more of a contract is the double-dog dare.
Dare's taught me the true meaning of going the whole way, of not backing out, of committing.
Through habitual practice, dares established a long-term mentality for me. As I moved away from home and was on my own, there were not always others to dare me to do things I was hesitant to do. I began daring myself and growing more courageous with each one. They got bigger and more serious as I grew older. From "I dare you to pick your nose" to "I dare you to climb that mountain" to "I dare you to follow your dreams"
Because of dares, I can go all the way with the little things and now I know how to go all the ******* way with what actually matters.
I dare you to never give up.




I entered with hesitancy, being so accustomed to the confidence that comes with spontaneity, I did not know how not to overthink my decision to leave home when given months to ponder it. I entered as a sheep, but I left a lion.

I've got intelligence and ambition that I trust in myself. It has gotten me this far, and I know it's not tired yet.  

I’ve been lonesome with the wandering blues many times, because I’ve got little birds in my chest playing the prettiest songs in hopes I’ll let them out to fly.
amt Dec 2012
Today started bad, but ended better.
Waking up from my half-slumber in Social Studies,
I was remind that I don't have to be perfect, I have to be me.
It's weird because we focus on those who don't accept us, trying to change to fit their standards, but we don't realize the wonderful people who do.

Do what you love,
Chase what matters,
And always be yourself.
"Do what you love, and love what you do." -Ray Bradbury
"Nothing is impossible, even the word itself says 'I'm possible!" -Audrey Hepburn
A Shipcraft Apr 2013
One day I realised that time did not exist in the way I had imagined it to do,
And on another I discovered that we are just bags of water and bones and brain,
We slosh around, and we stumble through, and we stink, and we think.

Blind hatred is the complacent replacement for clean rational thought.
Blind love is the complacent dream for billions of lonely human beings.

We burn, and we bury, and we buy, and we break, and we violate,
And there are great humanitarians, but they are ultimately alone, as we all live and die.
One day I realised that the sun is the only thing that matters.
Casey Carter Mar 2015
Framed from the void
Her legs whisper through shadows
Making me feel
That nothing else matters
The man in me
can't wait but to call-
All that was then
I'll believe it again-
So soon love to fall

I'd love to believe
You'd never deceive
Letting it down
The walls that surround

She crawls in her skin
Inviting me in-
Even though I know
It's desert my friend-
I still want to go
I'd blind myself so
Torture so sweet
Begs at my feet
While I just grin
Woods By Day Bars By Night © 2012, Casey Carter
Micheal Wolf Apr 2013
I want to write a screen play
The story of a life
A journey to insanity
The weary inner strife
The endless days of torture
Night's of intense mental pain
The wishing you where dead
Yet clinging to life's vein
When sparks of love afforded
To be snatched away in game
Each tearing a little deeper
Your sanity deranged
Their victory proclaimed
Like chess played with neurons
On a a board that has no squares
A three dimensional prison
That exists inside your head
No solace reached in morning
Their tirade begins again
Retreating deeper inward
You worsen every day
Finally a knife edge
Stay or walk away
Berated for your failure
Each and every day
Survival is all that matters
Clinging to your life
Thoughts are so intransient
You smile as you cry
A hug could simply **** you
Your humanity's been lost
Others did not see it
Nor how you paid the cost
So if I wrote a screenplay
The story of a life
How would I begin or end
What words would I write
Would you see the meaning
And hold me close tonight?
Writing the inexplicable
An obituary to a victim of mental domestic violence
Meaghan G Dec 2012
****** up your dissonance,

(your discontent, your dissent,)

hold it to your breast like a child,

hold your truth to be

(self-evident)

though they will ignore it.

Your passivity is here, some

days and they will mock you.

Let it be,

let yourself stand for that ultimate,

for that good

that you know is riddled with

the newsworthy “bad intentions” or

“ungodliness.”

Shelter your cooing,

let the body see, let the people see

humanity

as it is

will care for what it can.

Some have hearts as vast as oceans.

Some hold all of space.

Others carry with them a tiny ceramic vessel,

or the eye of a needle,

or a small brass bowl.

They can only love

so much.

Carry the weight, if it matters.

Carry that ****, that ****, that bristling anger.

Snake it where it matters.

Show them.

You don’t have to forgive them,

(maybe you should)

but

show them.
Tell me, o muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide
after he had sacked the famous town of Troy. Many cities did he visit,
and many were the nations with whose manners and customs he was
acquainted; moreover he suffered much by sea while trying to save
his own life and bring his men safely home; but do what he might he
could not save his men, for they perished through their own sheer
folly in eating the cattle of the Sun-god Hyperion; so the god
prevented them from ever reaching home. Tell me, too, about all
these things, O daughter of Jove, from whatsoever source you may
know them.
  So now all who escaped death in battle or by shipwreck had got
safely home except Ulysses, and he, though he was longing to return to
his wife and country, was detained by the goddess Calypso, who had got
him into a large cave and wanted to marry him. But as years went by,
there came a time when the gods settled that he should go back to
Ithaca; even then, however, when he was among his own people, his
troubles were not yet over; nevertheless all the gods had now begun to
pity him except Neptune, who still persecuted him without ceasing
and would not let him get home.
  Now Neptune had gone off to the Ethiopians, who are at the world’s
end, and lie in two halves, the one looking West and the other East.
He had gone there to accept a hecatomb of sheep and oxen, and was
enjoying himself at his festival; but the other gods met in the
house of Olympian Jove, and the sire of gods and men spoke first. At
that moment he was thinking of Aegisthus, who had been killed by
Agamemnon’s son Orestes; so he said to the other gods:
  “See now, how men lay blame upon us gods for what is after all
nothing but their own folly. Look at Aegisthus; he must needs make
love to Agamemnon’s wife unrighteously and then **** Agamemnon, though
he knew it would be the death of him; for I sent Mercury to warn him
not to do either of these things, inasmuch as Orestes would be sure to
take his revenge when he grew up and wanted to return home. Mercury
told him this in all good will but he would not listen, and now he has
paid for everything in full.”
  Then Minerva said, “Father, son of Saturn, King of kings, it
served Aegisthus right, and so it would any one else who does as he
did; but Aegisthus is neither here nor there; it is for Ulysses that
my heart bleeds, when I think of his sufferings in that lonely
sea-girt island, far away, poor man, from all his friends. It is an
island covered with forest, in the very middle of the sea, and a
goddess lives there, daughter of the magician Atlas, who looks after
the bottom of the ocean, and carries the great columns that keep
heaven and earth asunder. This daughter of Atlas has got hold of
poor unhappy Ulysses, and keeps trying by every kind of blandishment
to make him forget his home, so that he is tired of life, and thinks
of nothing but how he may once more see the smoke of his own chimneys.
You, sir, take no heed of this, and yet when Ulysses was before Troy
did he not propitiate you with many a burnt sacrifice? Why then should
you keep on being so angry with him?”
  And Jove said, “My child, what are you talking about? How can I
forget Ulysses than whom there is no more capable man on earth, nor
more liberal in his offerings to the immortal gods that live in
heaven? Bear in mind, however, that Neptune is still furious with
Ulysses for having blinded an eye of Polyphemus king of the
Cyclopes. Polyphemus is son to Neptune by the nymph Thoosa, daughter
to the sea-king Phorcys; therefore though he will not **** Ulysses
outright, he torments him by preventing him from getting home.
Still, let us lay our heads together and see how we can help him to
return; Neptune will then be pacified, for if we are all of a mind
he can hardly stand out against us.”
  And Minerva said, “Father, son of Saturn, King of kings, if, then,
the gods now mean that Ulysses should get home, we should first send
Mercury to the Ogygian island to tell Calypso that we have made up our
minds and that he is to return. In the meantime I will go to Ithaca,
to put heart into Ulysses’ son Telemachus; I will embolden him to call
the Achaeans in assembly, and speak out to the suitors of his mother
Penelope, who persist in eating up any number of his sheep and oxen; I
will also conduct him to Sparta and to Pylos, to see if he can hear
anything about the return of his dear father—for this will make
people speak well of him.”
  So saying she bound on her glittering golden sandals,
imperishable, with which she can fly like the wind over land or sea;
she grasped the redoubtable bronze-shod spear, so stout and sturdy and
strong, wherewith she quells the ranks of heroes who have displeased
her, and down she darted from the topmost summits of Olympus,
whereon forthwith she was in Ithaca, at the gateway of Ulysses’ house,
disguised as a visitor, Mentes, chief of the Taphians, and she held
a bronze spear in her hand. There she found the lordly suitors
seated on hides of the oxen which they had killed and eaten, and
playing draughts in front of the house. Men-servants and pages were
bustling about to wait upon them, some mixing wine with water in the
mixing-bowls, some cleaning down the tables with wet sponges and
laying them out again, and some cutting up great quantities of meat.
  Telemachus saw her long before any one else did. He was sitting
moodily among the suitors thinking about his brave father, and how
he would send them flying out of the house, if he were to come to
his own again and be honoured as in days gone by. Thus brooding as
he sat among them, he caught sight of Minerva and went straight to the
gate, for he was vexed that a stranger should be kept waiting for
admittance. He took her right hand in his own, and bade her give him
her spear. “Welcome,” said he, “to our house, and when you have
partaken of food you shall tell us what you have come for.”
  He led the way as he spoke, and Minerva followed him. When they were
within he took her spear and set it in the spear—stand against a
strong bearing-post along with the many other spears of his unhappy
father, and he conducted her to a richly decorated seat under which he
threw a cloth of damask. There was a footstool also for her feet,
and he set another seat near her for himself, away from the suitors,
that she might not be annoyed while eating by their noise and
insolence, and that he might ask her more freely about his father.
  A maid servant then brought them water in a beautiful golden ewer
and poured it into a silver basin for them to wash their hands, and
she drew a clean table beside them. An upper servant brought them
bread, and offered them many good things of what there was in the
house, the carver fetched them plates of all manner of meats and set
cups of gold by their side, and a man-servant brought them wine and
poured it out for them.
  Then the suitors came in and took their places on the benches and
seats. Forthwith men servants poured water over their hands, maids
went round with the bread-baskets, pages filled the mixing-bowls
with wine and water, and they laid their hands upon the good things
that were before them. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink
they wanted music and dancing, which are the crowning embellishments
of a banquet, so a servant brought a lyre to Phemius, whom they
compelled perforce to sing to them. As soon as he touched his lyre and
began to sing Telemachus spoke low to Minerva, with his head close
to hers that no man might hear.
  “I hope, sir,” said he, “that you will not be offended with what I
am going to say. Singing comes cheap to those who do not pay for it,
and all this is done at the cost of one whose bones lie rotting in
some wilderness or grinding to powder in the surf. If these men were
to see my father come back to Ithaca they would pray for longer legs
rather than a longer purse, for money would not serve them; but he,
alas, has fallen on an ill fate, and even when people do sometimes say
that he is coming, we no longer heed them; we shall never see him
again. And now, sir, tell me and tell me true, who you are and where
you come from. Tell me of your town and parents, what manner of ship
you came in, how your crew brought you to Ithaca, and of what nation
they declared themselves to be—for you cannot have come by land. Tell
me also truly, for I want to know, are you a stranger to this house,
or have you been here in my father’s time? In the old days we had many
visitors for my father went about much himself.”
  And Minerva answered, “I will tell you truly and particularly all
about it. I am Mentes, son of Anchialus, and I am King of the
Taphians. I have come here with my ship and crew, on a voyage to men
of a foreign tongue being bound for Temesa with a cargo of iron, and I
shall bring back copper. As for my ship, it lies over yonder off the
open country away from the town, in the harbour Rheithron under the
wooded mountain Neritum. Our fathers were friends before us, as old
Laertes will tell you, if you will go and ask him. They say,
however, that he never comes to town now, and lives by himself in
the country, faring hardly, with an old woman to look after him and
get his dinner for him, when he comes in tired from pottering about
his vineyard. They told me your father was at home again, and that was
why I came, but it seems the gods are still keeping him back, for he
is not dead yet not on the mainland. It is more likely he is on some
sea-girt island in mid ocean, or a prisoner among savages who are
detaining him against his will I am no prophet, and know very little
about omens, but I speak as it is borne in upon me from heaven, and
assure you that he will not be away much longer; for he is a man of
such resource that even though he were in chains of iron he would find
some means of getting home again. But tell me, and tell me true, can
Ulysses really have such a fine looking fellow for a son? You are
indeed wonderfully like him about the head and eyes, for we were close
friends before he set sail for Troy where the flower of all the
Argives went also. Since that time we have never either of us seen the
other.”
  “My mother,” answered Telemachus, tells me I am son to Ulysses,
but it is a wise child that knows his own father. Would that I were
son to one who had grown old upon his own estates, for, since you
ask me, there is no more ill-starred man under heaven than he who they
tell me is my father.”
  And Minerva said, “There is no fear of your race dying out yet,
while Penelope has such a fine son as you are. But tell me, and tell
me true, what is the meaning of all this feasting, and who are these
people? What is it all about? Have you some banquet, or is there a
wedding in the family—for no one seems to be bringing any
provisions of his own? And the guests—how atrociously they are
behaving; what riot they make over the whole house; it is enough to
disgust any respectable person who comes near them.”
  “Sir,” said Telemachus, “as regards your question, so long as my
father was here it was well with us and with the house, but the gods
in their displeasure have willed it otherwise, and have hidden him
away more closely than mortal man was ever yet hidden. I could have
borne it better even though he were dead, if he had fallen with his
men before Troy, or had died with friends around him when the days
of his fighting were done; for then the Achaeans would have built a
mound over his ashes, and I should myself have been heir to his
renown; but now the storm-winds have spirited him away we know not
wither; he is gone without leaving so much as a trace behind him,
and I inherit nothing but dismay. Nor does the matter end simply
with grief for the loss of my father; heaven has laid sorrows upon
me of yet another kind; for the chiefs from all our islands,
Dulichium, Same, and the woodland island of Zacynthus, as also all the
principal men of Ithaca itself, are eating up my house under the
pretext of paying their court to my mother, who will neither point
blank say that she will not marry, nor yet bring matters to an end; so
they are making havoc of my estate, and before long will do so also
with myself.”
  “Is that so?” exclaimed Minerva, “then you do indeed want Ulysses
home again. Give him his helmet, shield, and a couple lances, and if
he is the man he was when I first knew him in our house, drinking
and making merry, he would soon lay his hands about these rascally
suitors, were he to stand once more upon his own threshold. He was
then coming from Ephyra, where he had been to beg poison for his
arrows from Ilus, son of Mermerus. Ilus feared the ever-living gods
and would not give him any, but my father let him have some, for he
was very fond of him. If Ulysses is the man he then was these
suitors will have a short shrift and a sorry wedding.
  “But there! It rests with heaven to determine whether he is to
return, and take his revenge in his own house or no; I would, however,
urge you to set about trying to get rid of these suitors at once. Take
my advice, call the Achaean heroes in assembly to-morrow -lay your
case before them, and call heaven to bear you witness. Bid the suitors
take themselves off, each to his own place, and if your mother’s
mind is set on marrying again, let her go back to her father, who will
find her a husband and provide her with all the marriage gifts that so
dear a daughter may expect. As for yourself, let me prevail upon you
to take the best ship you can get, with a crew of twenty men, and go
in quest of your father who has so long been missing. Some one may
tell you something, or (and people often hear things in this way) some
heaven-sent message may direct you. First go to Pylos and ask
Nestor; thence go on to Sparta and visit Menelaus, for he got home
last of all the Achaeans; if you hear that your father is alive and on
his way home, you can put up with the waste these suitors will make
for yet another twelve months. If on the other hand you hear of his
death, come home at once, celebrate his funeral rites with all due
pomp, build a barrow to his memory, and make your mother marry
again. Then, having done all this, think it well over in your mind
how, by fair means or foul, you may **** these suitors in your own
house. You are too old to plead infancy any longer; have you not heard
how people are singing Orestes’ praises for having killed his father’s
murderer Aegisthus? You are a fine, smart looking fellow; show your
mettle, then, and make yourself a name in story. Now, however, I
must go back to my ship and to my crew, who will be impatient if I
keep them waiting longer; think the matter over for yourself, and
remember what I have said to you.”
  “Sir,” answered Telemachus, “it has been very kind of you to talk to
me in this way, as though I were your own son, and I will do all you
tell me; I know you want to be getting on with your voyage, but stay a
little longer till you have taken a bath and refreshed yourself. I
will then give you a present, and you shall go on your way
rejoicing; I will give you one of great beauty and value—a keepsake
such as only dear friends give to one another.”
  Minerva answered, “Do not try to keep me, for I would be on my way
at once. As for any present you may be disposed to make me, keep it
till I come again, and I will take it home with me. You shall give
me a very good one, and I will give you one of no less value in
return.”
  With these words she flew away like a bird into the air, but she had
given Telemachus courage, and had made him think more than ever
about his father. He felt the change, wondered at it, and knew that
the stranger had been a god, so he went straight to where the
suitors were sitting.
  Phemius was still singing, and his hearers sat rapt in silence as he
told the sad tale of the return from Troy, and the ills Minerva had
laid upon the Achaeans. Penelope, daughter of Icarius, heard his
song from her room upstairs, and came down by the great staircase, not
alone, but attended by two of her handmaids. When she reached the
suitors she stood by one of the bearing posts that supp
Beneath the signature of madness
A myriad of things are born
When eyes meet, when everything else is irrelevant
When all we know is that if we're not right next to one another
our next breath won't come
If it were to pour down rain on us right now
we'd smile standing in that rain
The world is laughable right now
because nothing else matters but how we feel
Rules are ignored with reckless abandon
rules about having to work tomorrow
Rules about a phone call we were supposed to make
about things that needed doing
Rules about someone who needed a ride home
but will now have to find another one
It's so insane that you plan for things like this
You have friends set you up on blind dates
or you have dinner with someone
You plan days or even weeks ahead
You buy special clothes for the special occasion
You buy special gifts for the special occasion
and that special occasion is just .. not that special
Then there you are walking down the street
or riding on a bus
or shopping in the market
or visiting a friend
or at the office Christmas party
just minding your own life and then
There it is
Out of nowhere, crazier still is this
You know it's crazy
You can hear every logical person in your life asking
"what are you doing?"
In your heart you can feel every one of their eyes locked onto you Watching you
You don't need to be told
with every passing second you're more aware of how absurd it is
And yet
Try as you might
You just can't seem to care about any of that
you're too busy being lost inside of someones eyes
And most comfortably I might add
It's in their eyes, but it's not just their eyes
It's the way they use their eyes
The way they look at you, or through you
It's the way they stand, it's their body, it's their accent when they speak
It's the unbelievable way that even though you're no where near them  
They're touching you, you can feel them
The heat is unbearable
you don't know when
you don't know where
you don't know how
But you DO know SOON
it's going to be soon
You stare at them
and in your mind you see a leopard
You see a leopard crouched in the grass watching a herd of gazelle
And you understand now just how that leopard feels
They know how the gazelle feels and .. they're enjoying it
It's perfect
It has both predator
And prey
Your heart pounds in your head
Your pulse quickens
Suddenly
You're startled as the cab driver leans over and yells out to you
"You gettin' in or what?"
You shake your head a few times to clear it, "yes, yes I'm getting in"
"I'm sorry .. I was lost in thought"
You give the driver an address
Turn your head to look out the window into the rain as they pull away
smile softly and say to yourself
"I'll find you"
Mitchell Apr 2014
IX
After drinks, the two of us walk down Columbus street looking for a back alley ******* Hanes knows about. It's 4pm - far past buffet hours - but happy hour is about to begin and that's what we're looking for. Hanes tells me the last time he was there, one of the dancers snuck up behind him while he was at the ATM and pressed the highest possible number on the screen, something like $500. He didn't have to spend it, but somehow, he did. He left there with a sharp distrust but newfound respect for the stripping world. Everyone's got to get there's somehow.
"Ten dollar cover to get in," the bouncer tells us.
"Good God," I mutter, "It's only four o'clock and you're charging us ten dollars?" I feel the gin tickling the back of my throat, bringing a tingling feeling of authority and righteousness. I know I'm wrong, I know I've overstepped by bounds and have no say in how much they think they should charge two men with no women at four o'clock in the afternoon...but I battle anyways. I must.
"Policy my friend," the bouncer returns, shaking his head in understanding, "I'll get in guys in for five."
"That'll work," Hanes says quickly, handing him a ten and brushing past him.
I pat him on the shoulder as we walk in, "You've done a good thing. A grand thing. A respectable thing." I'm drunk and anything that comes out of my mouth I think to be genius. How far I've gone into the rabbit hole is of no importance to me now. The only things that matters is that I'm there and that eventually, somehow, I'll get out.
I follow Hanes to the bar and put down twenty dollars to whatever he orders. Two Budweiser's. Seven dollars with tip. Pretty good. That excites me. There's something invigorating about cheap drinks in a place one would think to get shafted in. I tip an extra dollar and get eleven back. Hanes nods to an open table by the corner of the stage where there's no one but a single asian man and a plate of hot wings. A pint of ice water sits in front of him and he's all smiles. I don't know why Hanes thinks it's a good idea to party with this gentlemen, but I realize I've never actually understood ever what Hanes thinks is a good idea, so I follow suit. It turns out the asian man is a very fine man on his lunch break from the bank. He's had a very long day he says.
"The boss," he explains, "Is not a nice man. Selfish. Fat. White."
"Ah," I say, ******* back on the beer, "Never good." I watch a girl named Twinkle wrap her thighs around the stainless steel pole and twirl. Her hair is the color of fools gold and her eyes tell me she's been doing this a very long time. I ask the asian man his name.
"Bob," he says, biting into a wing, "You want one?" he asks Hanes.
Hanes waves it off and Bob offers me one. "Thank you, sir," I say.
"Call me Bob."
"Righty right," picking up wing, "Thank you Bob."
"They are very spicy, so watch yourself."
"I will."
Twinkle crawls over to us, her **** hanging from her chest, drooping slightly like honey would if you spooned it out of its jar. She wears a silver cross that dangles with her ****, reflecting the dark neon red and blue lights flashing, wavering above her. She can't be more than 25. I feel myself slipping into feelings of wonder and love, but know that is the trick of the club and how they get you to spend money. Quickly, I paint her in reality: a white t-shirt, some blue jeans, and old sneakers - she is painting her room. She looks lovelier doing this, grounded in something perhaps she loves, maybe even a passion.
She crawls up to me and turns around, thrusting her *** in my face. She bounces it up and down with the rhythm of the music, the heavy bass. I watch her tight flesh roll slightly like tanned waves of the ocean. Glitter floats from her skin as I get a whiff of strong perfume: rose petals and dry white wine. I like her taste and throw her a couple dollars. She bounces her *** a few more times, slower this time for me, then turns around to pick up the ones with her teeth. She is good and knows this.
"Wanna' dance?" she asks, winking at me.
"I would love one, but I promised myself I wouldn't," I say.
"And why's that?" She's dangling her legs over the side of the stage. Her knee caps are red and swollen from crawling on the hard wooden floor. I think they should give these girls knee pads or something, but realize that would really take away from the sexiness of it all. They would like naked electricians or plumbers for christ's sake.
"My father told me never to get a lap dance on an empty stomach."
"Your father," she smiles, "Is a very a smart and funny man."
"Wouldn't want all that blood rushing from my head to down there without any food in me."
She nods, "Could be very dangerous. You're funny. Let me know how you feel after you eat...I gotta' get back on."
"Will do," I tell her, leaving a few more dollars on the edge of the stage. I bend them into V's and place them upside down. She sees this and proceeds to bend over, picking them up one by one, showing me everything. She is snake charmer the way she moves her body, making one think it's all for them. I can see now why this place is so dangerous. She saunters off back up-stage, rocking her hips and her *** back and forth like she were trying to put a baby asleep in their cradle. She is very good and knows it.
"That was interesting," Hanes says. He picks up one of Bob's wings. Bob smiles and motions for us to take more.
"I got the endless deal!" he shouts. The music's gotten louder. "Only cost me $10! I got a beer with it too."
"That's a good deal!" Hanes shout back, "Thanks!"
He takes a couple more and places them on a napkin he got from somewhere. Bob motions for me to take a couple, so I do. The sauce is so hot it seems like its stinging my skin from the outside. My eyes even start to water. For a second, everything around me gets that watery sheen where all mixes together and nothing is hard lined. The hard and heavy bass mixes with my vision. In front of me, a blurred body hangs upside down from a golden holy pole. The image stirs some biblical images in my head, like an angel flying down to Earth or even Jesus being crucified, but upside, naked, and a woman. I put down the wings and furiously rub the sauce on my pant legs. If I were to get any of that poison into my eyes, I would be finished, I thought. Blinking hard three or four times, I let the tears stream down my face. Bob sees this and hands me a clean napkin from his table.
"I know," he says, "It is truly beautiful. Don't be afraid of your emotions. Express yourself. It's ok to cry."
"You're crying?!" Hanes laughs, "Why the hell you crying?"
"I'm not! This ****** sauce is so hot it's making my eyes water."
"These women are so beautiful, you're crying!" Hanes throws his head back, laughing. "I've never heard that one before. They'll give you a free lap dance for sure if you tell them that."
"Maybe the cook will," I say, wiping the tears from my eyes with Bob's clean napkin, "There. Back to normal."
"You OK?" Bob asks me? "You good."
"I'm good," I say.
A new dancer comes out on-stage. Bob seems to know her because he puts all of his wings on the table beside him and rubs any sauce that dripped off. He straightens his thin black tie and subtly smells both of his armpits. He definitely knows this one. She's a thick looking asian girl with a smooth, innocent face. Her hair is long, smooth, and black and it reflects the neon pinks and greens whirling above her. Bob leans over.
"She my favorite," he says.
"I can see that."
"Don't tell her nothing though."
"Why?" I smile.
"I don't want her to think I'm a creep."
"You're not a creep, Bob."
"Then what am I?" He asks, furrowing his brow.
"An admirer."
Martin Narrod Apr 2014
Dearest. The canopy alike. A breath, it walks from my lips and into the quiet of this desert. I am only eyes The infinite mind. Inflammable and still up in question. Life burns up the soul of man like nothing else. There is only the space between ego and humility that matters. My feet tread lightly, the mirth of my moor, the hill where I rise in the day, every day I climb awake and champion the music of the sun, its billions of hearts and eyes. Two years younger and I thought I owned this. Beauty. Love. Where does it come from? Out of the pages of a book or between the bindings of its casing? This mesmerizing charm light splitting the lines of my hands and my feet and my face. I wear it with me like a child's toy into the city when I go, the country where I sleep. I prayed for your wellness, took you by car into the pastures beyond the mountains overlooking the ocean, into the high points of the low and verdant valleys where the cows and horses fed on fertile grapeleaves and wild grasses. Nearly the wind took us to sea. Hot sand beaches where we laid in low tide and let the water spread among our limbs until we couldn't tell where you ended or I began, where our breaths tasted the same. I make you in my hand. Eat you from the tips of my fingers. One is the beach and the day, where I prayed to let your weight never be taken from me, that I should carry you through the softness of the sea and through its shadowy empires. Man becomes invincible, his beast disappears, only the blue of his eyes remain. The black of his pupil is the oil that makes us all the same. And the round world floats its children through its kingdoms so that they may eat until the sunlight touches their eyes again. Your hands on my teeth, in my mouth, against my head. I could not have been closer unless I lived inside of you. Time takes all of the words out of history and leaves only the faces and landscapes. A glint of redolent flower that swept through the air, or a hot meal that drew the day long. I am only your eyes. Blue and green. The jazz of you in my spine, against my chest, your hands piercing through my chest past my ribs and holding my plum red heart in your tiny fingers, upright and firm, sharing every breath. The sea that is my sister your brother, that is my mother your father, that opens the soul and lets the sky blue sky weep its tepid orange sunlight deep into our pores. I am never richer nor poorer in the milk wet silver light of the winter moon. What would you have of me to do? A walk of bare feet through the pinetum? An antiquary in the empire of romance?  So many hands I have brought to my face. So many words I've took to my pen. These are the names that take me from you. The space between insatiable lust so many states far away. I dream of your crown of gold on a Saturday, we walked Goethe in the Summer, seven months and fifteen days ago.
Written for Joni Dobrov
Sat at the hairdressers
Hearing the gossip
Relaxes a woman and her senses.

Nothing outside the door of the salon
matters.
Just the head massage, and gossip.

The world has stopped as her locks
are chopped.
If only a closed door could keep the world at bay.

But, the door will open,
the world will flood in
and with it, for next time, more gossip!
© JLB
05/06/2014
Magaly Smith Aug 2011
Does not matter anyone else thinks
It just matters how you speak
Your past makes of who you are
You can drive miles trying searching
who you are
You find who you are within yourself
You try to make a difference in any way
People try to solve how the Universe
is created
When they can just enjoy it as long as it lasts
Khoisan Oct 2018
Inbetween
the
dark rings
the
bellyfat
the
slightly arched back
we
both know
that
salt and pepper
still
makes
a
pretty mean love potion
And I  mean oh yeah!
phil roberts May 2016
You've seen her a hundred times
With a hundred faces
But she's always the same
Always at the bar
She's there when you arrive
And she'll be there when you you leave
There beside the fullest ash-tray
Lighting another cigarette
With fluttery fidgety fingers

Her lipstick is far too red
And not quite straight
Too much make up to hide the lines
Which show all the more
As she cracks the mask to smile
Her hair is too yellow
And her eyes are long lost grey
The arc which her glass follows to her mouth
Is restless and constant

As the evening wears on
She will talk too loudly
She may even sing out of tune
She will laugh too shrilly
When nothing is funny
But sometimes
When it's late
She sheds silent messy tears
As she rocks on her bar stool
Because there's a reason
This woman at the bar
Has a story as real as any other
And it matters just as much

                                    By Phil Roberts
Denis Martindale May 2018
Our God is great! Our God is good! He works through miracles!
He makes Man's future understood... before His judgement falls...
Declared to Gentiles and to Jews... through ancient prophecies,
Such that this world has no excuse... when judgements must increase...

If we bless Israel, we are blessed! If not, the chance has gone,
So we should harken in the West to how we carry on!
Align with evil or repent! God makes the choices plain...
Forsaking grace when Heaven-sent... or being born again...

God's saints get baptised, then they serve... by faith they show true love,
They preach God's Word across this Earth, like angels do above!
God's saints support what must be done... they seek to save the lost,
Equipped by grace through Christ, God's Son... because He paid the cost!

So it is done, declared, decreed! Established, set in stone!
The Gates of Hell shall not succeed... for God is on His Throne!
While ready... willing... and able... to see such matters through,
Our God proves He is wonderful... but can God count on YOU?

Denis Martindale March 2018.
WordsOfLoved Jun 2013
They say, once you start loving yourself you invite other people to love you in return
but as I stand here, staring at myself in this godforsaken mirror
I am confused
where do I start "loving" myself
do my start with the tired bags under my eyes
or my seemingly large pores
how about my blemished skin
or the scare above my right eyebrow
I'm not asking to be perfect, no
I am comfortable with my flaw ridden face
but as soon as I step in public
the people, they are not
they have something to say
something to point out
but I do love myself
I just get that confused with people telling me I shouldn't
telling me I should adjust myself in order to appease their eyes
but whose eyes are the ones that look back in the mirror?
they are mine
and that's what matters
Love yourself, and you will be loved in return
ha, in this society?
I think not.
Frank lewis Apr 2016
Writing is hard, expression gets lost. I'll do my best to share my thoughts.

A closed book i am, a neat and tidy cover. Intriguing to most, all looking to discover.

Pick me up and peek inside, you see what you need, without any lies.

Some see a shiny cover, turn quickly away, thinking it's not possible... Their is no way.

Inviting to all to share what i have, each person decides weather they take a stab.

Most not able, to get to page one, quickly deciding 'meh im done'.

Some can turn pages, even see a few jokes. Most are not able, to see what matters most.

Looking inside, many faced with blank pages, what some people write is often outrageous.

A very small number, we'll say... a select few. See past the graffiti, but still can't see whats true.

Rarely and painful, real connection walks by. They could see the real me, if only they try.

More often, but also quite rare. Blank pages are seen. Left with an empty stare, wondering 'what does it mean?'.

Some write a chapter, some maybe three. Writing in what they think, should make me happy.

Some things written, great gifts they be. I even would say, i enjoy them greatly.

Seeing only blank pages, not stopping to think. Soon the day comes, they run out of ink.

Ink tank empty, all fun is gone. My blank pages begin to fall, one by one.

Return they may, startled to see. No blank pages are left. Only grafiti.

How many? Not sure, perhaps only one. As i see it, likely there's none.

Referring of course, to any someone; able to read my real person.

Beautiful writing, without graffiti. Pages filled with my amazing story.

Page by page I'm filled. No explanation needed, able to perceive.

Honest and real a connection so strong. Together we feel, any possible wrong.

Words are lost, no meaning to us. We bounce off each other's pure trust.

Keeping up with ease, no need to look back. Unconditionally accepting, bound by this track.

Incredible stories, written synchronously. Only hoping this done, pure and honestly.

Emotions can't hide, or be fabricated. I feel as you feel, so who are you trying to kid.

Finding yourself opening me, no blank pages left, and nothing to read? Our story has ended, I long to be freed.

Sad this can be, even lonely at first. Smile knowing you wrote that final verse.

An amazing book from cover to cover. Trapped, now waiting, for the next to discover.

What is to come is all up to you. Careful at best, you're able to thumb through. Left with a book, not able to read.

Never actually able, to see pure and be true. Decide what you will, chose what you'll do.

Now turning away at my every sight. Why do you continue this fight?

A magnificent book, now trapped on your shelf. Soon even I will lose sight of myself.

You open my book, you chose what to see. Great chapters were written, now I need to be free.

-FJLJ
When I peel off all the layers of my being,
I find my core, and therein
I miss you; I’m lonely, and sad
And bleeding, stagnated in time
I stopped moving the very day you left me
And here I am, three years later,
Still feeling the keen sting of losing you

Everything withered, it died,
Without you I died, they say that time heals
I don’t believe in it, time simply passes
And we find ways of masking the pain, denying it
Fourteen days without your voice and I’m falling apart
And even when you’re here, you never stay long enough
To see how much I miss you,

And every day I think of you, every day I mourn
I wish you could see me now, because tomorrow I won’t feel the same
Tomorrow all my layers will be back in place, and my core will be hidden,
So deep I’ll barely know where it is myself,
Next time I’ll see you we’ll still be strangers, and I will smile at you,
Because every second matters, yet every moment is the same as previous ones
Every time repeats itself, and we are stuck, stagnated
And then, before we get deep enough, you have to go,

Every time we put fake smiles on our faces to conceal the pain,
I wonder, do you hurt the way I do, did losing me
Shatter you, because the day you left me,
I shattered into a thousand pieces, and now I’m scattered all over the floor,
Unable to be glued back together again,
Unable to be the same as I once was,

You tore out a piece of my heart
I always knew I wouldn’t survive losing you,
Long before you ever left me.
showyoulove Sep 2015
Jesus you asked your disciples: who do people say that I am? There were many different answers. You asked your disciples: who do YOU say that I am? Peter replied "You are Jesus the Christ. The savior." A good answer, but then when you talk about your death and what you must suffer and Peter rebuked you for saying such outrageous things, you scolded him for thinking as we humans do, not as God thinks. Then you said that to lose your your life for Christ and the gospel, you would gain eternal life in heaven, but those who love their lives would lose them. That in order to follow you we must deny ourselves and take up our cross. You said what profit is there to gain the whole world but lose our lives? For what can we give in exchange for the value of our lives?

Jesus, who do we say you are? Who are you to us? Forgive us, like Peter, when we get upset with you when bad things happen because we think not as God thinks but as humans think. We don't always see the bigger picture and purpose. When you said "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me" you were saying that we must cast off our old self, old habits and ways. We must carry our burdens (our cross) which create a way to connect to each other and to you. "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it." We must learn how to live selflessly and we must be willing to die to ourselves. If we lose or give up our old life for the sake of replacing it with a life for Jesus and the good news we will have eternal life. You remind us and warn us that the things of this life, their value could never come close to the value of our souls. You remind us not to fall victim to loving the riches of this earthly life more than we ought to love you and being with you forever one day. Finally, you tell us to be unashamed of Christ and the message and to share it with all we meet in a gentle and loving manner. We should not be worried about what others will do or say because it matters not as long as we are doing it with a right heart for you and the gospel. Thank you Lord for being our Savior, help us to die to the old ways that we might truly live with you. Give us the strength and courage to be unashamed of the gospel message and you so that we might bring another heart to you. Amen.
based on Mark 8: 27-38
Michael Marchese Oct 2016
Fellow Americans
     Won't is not can't
           We can end this tirade
                This ignorant rant
           Neo-**** crusade
      This fearmongering
Xenophobic campaign
      This point your fat finger
           Take none of the blame
                 This **** flinging ape
            This bombastic baboon
       Rotting all of our brains
Like a ****** cartoon
       This email distraction
            For no course of action
                 Except the word "jobs"
            And a Twitter war faction
        This sick, twisted joke
This comedy act
         Dropping the curtain
             On matters of fact
                 This tax-dodging fraud
             Has stolen from you
         So what makes you think
You're a part of his coup  
         This billion-airhead
             Makes no cents at all
                  He speaks his small mind
             Behind a big wall
        This nuclear bomb
  To diplomacy's voice
        Aborting the right
             To democracy's choice
                  This false god complex
              Disguises his devil
         Deceptions to drag us
Back down to his level
         This Molotov cocktail
              In Putin's back pocket
                  His greedy heart froze
              In a cold-plated locket
          This coal-blackened soul
Toxic demagogue
         Keeps poisoning us
              By spewing speech-smog  
                   This climate change hoax
              Outweighs all the lies
         Deny this one truth
  And everyone dies
         This you're fired show
              Outsources our trust
                   To Chinese steel towers
              Of slave-labor rust
        This loaded handgun
To sanity's head
        Depravity bullets
              Promoting bloodshed
                   This locker room talk
              This all Muslim ban
        This election is rigged
This ******* madman
        This antithesis
              Of all we stand for
                   Great from our first steps
              Onto Liberty's shore
        So I beg of you now
Vote him off of the stage
        This dog's had his day
              Put him back in his cage
                   This nation was founded
              By working together
        And those who attempt
To divide us shall never
        Condemn our ideals
             To an amoral fate
                    Lest we forget
                         That love always trumps hate
Yenson Feb 2019
MEMO

FROM:  Mr Phil Indifrence,  Strategy Chess Insurgency  Corps.
Space Headquarters, Castleview Avenue, Dunstable XY10

TO:  Ms Petal  Dontrun,  Crimson Chess Federation.
De la Wigan Headquarters, Wigan, United Kingdom,  SM00

Dear Ms Dontrun,

Please accept my greetings. I write to clarify my stance on our
outstanding matters and hopefully to deter further speculation,
gossips, rumours, distortions, misinformation and sensationalism by the media.

As you are aware I contacted you on the day as arranged only to
be confronted with a response that was astoundingly unethical, un-
professional, rude, inconsiderate and totally uncalled-for. It was
so below expected standard that it raised doubt about your suit-
ability to be seen as a matured adult much less an intelligent being.

Still in the reverberations of this seismic occurrence I called again in
the hope it was a momentary loss of composure and yet again I was
subjected to a deluxe version of the first onslaught. To say I was
flabbergasted is putting things mildly, most especially as it was
totally unwarranted and underserved. It was obvious you lacked
any sense of decorum and had become an affront to common human decency and an embarrassment to your status.

In all fairness you did call some weeks later, but it had become
apparent that the ethos, protocol and cordiality that my Organi-
sation works within may not be relevant to your Organisation,
hence my unavailability to your contact.

I write to primarily reiterate that my position on this matter and
the present status quo is not based on some immature Ego play,
stubbornness, power-play or pride, rather it's in all truthfulness it's a belief in upholding standards in ethical considerations. I do not believe that bad manners, ill-considered behaviour, ill-judgement and a lack of sensitivity and good grace are matured and progressive trends to interact cooperatively within.

In conclusion, this is my stance on this matter and I hope it helps
your understanding. I believe a formal Apology from you and your
Organisation is appropriate in this regard and will instigate a
return to cordiality between our Organisation.

If you however feel this is unnecessary I will respect your decision
and the situation will remain unresolved.

I thank you for your attention.

Regards,

Phil Indifrence. C.E.O.
I'm so tired of walking this tightrope.
I'd rather fall than turn back
Only to be turned around again.
Turned around touched down long long ways from the ground.

I look out the door to a grey sky
Promising rain.
The color of my mood this afternoon.
The very same grey...
The very same rain...
Threatening.

Maybe I shouldn't be listening to this music,
Melancholic as I knew it was before I even queued it up,
Expecting or hoping,..well here I am.
You're a drug I scored this morning and I couldn't wait
To get you my blood.
You're a hard drug, relentless, and now I cannot wait
To get you out.

Who pushed me into this corner?
What made the difference, pulled the last straw?
Closed my eyes?  Opened my mind?
Opened my eyes. Closed my mind.
You're a hard God, teasing.
Blessing with confusion and the unknown.
Damning with certainty.
A game for the enlightened who know better
Than to believe it matters.
Anyway our animal souls won't realize
Until it's too late.
shivani Jun 2015
Wondering what you must be thinking,
Do i cross your mind when your'e dreaming.
  sunshine burns through my skin,
I feel cold, in this summer am about to give in.
summer boy and winter’s daughter
It may not affect you but to me it matters
Each day coldness grows within
I have forgotten the touch of your lips on my skin
At 3 am when I wake up startled,
I turn around and close my eyes, so they don't sparkle
The memory of you dies in me day by day
That’s how long you’ve been away
So please, would you catch me?
Before the darkness consumes me
Lying next to you face to face
I want to feel your embrace
Danielle Freese Nov 2014
why complain about white people writing poems about love and cigarettes when you know that nicotine takes the pain away and the smoke masks the smell of him left on your clothes from the painful just friends hug he gave you. Because I don't care about people's opinions who don't matter when the only thing that does is in my heart but not my arms because he wanted his freedom more than he wanted me. But the sadness in his gestures and the dullness in his eyes make it harder to concentrate during the day because you're too busy worried about him to worry about life when all you want to do is replace the sadness inside him with your love, but the realization that you can't anymore crushes you almost as much as his sadness does. But you don't forget to remind him everyday how much he matters and when he tells you he wants to drop out of school and not go to college or get a job, you're itching to tell him now much he is the boy version of you but know you he won't care, and he won't listen. And maybe thats what the cigarette you keep in your purse is for. Because you love him.

— The End —