The nurses check my pulse as I lie on the cot they run me down the hall on
I can’t feel anything…my neck, my arms, my legs…what happened to me?
I remember feeling so depressed it was crippling
I remember having a couple glasses of wine whilst chatting with come online friends
I remember reviewing some other author’s short stories instead of writing my own

I remember the grotesque ,***** ,butterfly, ***** feeling in my stomach
I remember wanting to cry for no reason…
These feelings haven’t been within my body for at least the past 6 months
Not since crazy Arizona guy broke up with me when I called him out on his abusive ways
No, this was similar, but different.

Lately I’ve been stressed about financial issues
But what else is new?
I’m reviewing other dark works and getting paid very little
What else is new?
People are stealing my blogs for their own because they have no imagination
What else is new?

Eat ****: I’m moving to Korea
My big bang for 2016
Welcome to book #4….

February 14th, a day most singles despise themselves
Everyone hopes to have that one special person with them like any other holiday:
Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years: we don't want to be alone
I have had one Valentine my entire life thus far and he wasn't even a good one
This year: 2014, I am my own Valentine!

I cooked myself a healthy meal to show my body I love it
I spoiled myself with an expensive bottle of red wine
And bought myself a bouquet of flowers to love myself
A small light meal of candied yams, kale and fruit salad and a couple glasses of Spanish Red Wine
Allowed me to relax in my own womanly self

We are all created from love, therefore we are love
If we hate a day of love then we hate ourselves
Everyday is a day of love and hope
If we despise ourselves everyday, then we deny ourselves love and hope

We are love and therefore give, receive and take love
When we deny loving ourselves daily; we deny love completely
Don't let the title of this poem fool you, for this poem is truly about love
Happy ******* Valentine's Day! I love you!

Since we’ve been reunited
I feel as if I walk taller than I ever have before
My soul is so happy that it dances
It’s been so long since I’ve felt this happy
I’m walking on air, because an old friend has returned

You may have won the battle, but you lost the war!
I believe in relationship karma,
And you finally got what was coming to you
After fighting you for two years,
I have finally gotten what I deserve: Peace and Justice!
I can now lay down my sword and rest
The fighting has come to an end
I won! And now I can walk with a smile
The burden has been lifted

All I have left is my faith
Everything else has been taken from me
Music and God is all I have left
Nothing else matters

When Walli walked into my life
I knew things were different
I knew I was supposed to leave this depressing city
I knew my dreams were still breathing
Alive somewhere under all my tears
I knew I had to keep pushing and not look back

It was time to turn and face the music
Become who I was called to be
I am working harder than ever for that now
God you are my every thing
My all in all
The only piece of faith I have left

Gypsy girl or Zombie?
I choose to live again and be free
I will no longer be the living dead
Walking around with no heart beat
I choose to be courageous

All I know is I can’t turn back
God won’t allow me to abort my plan this time
There is no letting go this time
It’s time to follow my destiny
I have to go through with it this time

God will always find me
No matter what path I take
My destiny will always find me
Standing on the edge and ready to fall
God will always save me

This time I will go
This time I will listen
I’m done falling to pieces for now
Now I can see what is in front of me
No more short-cuts
No more excuses
My fate is sealed

When you need me, I won’t be there
When you open your eyes to the real world
I won’t be there
When she leaves you crying and broken
I won’t be there
When you finally remember who you are
I won’t be there

In six months, I won’t be here
I will leave a note on my door reading,
*Gone to the ocean without you