When I was 12

I cut for the frist time I used this little
sharp thing that came in this manicure set
I don't know why I did it but I can remember
my hand hanging over the bathroom sink little drips of blood falling from me I staired in to space I can still feel that dead feeling
Latter that year I cut in front of my friend I did not think she was looking, she **** my hand and " oh my god, dude did you just make that happen?" I should be I shamed I would be now, but then I think I may have been proud, it got worst I cut everyday
mostly my hands. One day my older brother
asked what happen to my hands I said his cat had scratch me
a really bad lie cuz rocko would never hurt a fly,
and he new cuz he told my mom right there and then
Ma, I think she's cuting herself, I was so panic that I don't even remember what she said, but I did not stop
mouths later I think it was in Jan of 2001
I was at my sisters house and I must have had a scrach or scar showing
I reamber what she said, my hand are shaking tyeping it,
"Why are you cutting you're self little *******!, you know that bring the devil he likes that!, little did I know those would be that last words she ever said to me cuz she died in feb that same year
and know it's crazy but part of me will allways blame me and my cutting,
and i still think of her when I cut, I don't have to tell you that did not stop me,

whene I was 13

I don't think I cut much wich is do odd cuz it was the worst time in my life, insted I dressed like a ****, got drunk, talk back to my famliy and messed aroung with grown up guys,  and started writeing poetry
but I never cut.

Whene I was 14

god that was I really bad bad time I'm pretty shore I was crazy
I was convosed about my sexuality and gender,
i shaved my head started dressing as crazy as possibal maybe get ppl to look at me, maybe to scare them away I don't know.
but I cut, I cut I LOT! I can remember locking myself in the basement with my KORN and SLIPKNOT CDs turned up so load no one can hear my cry, I craved an anarcy symble in my lag, and fell asleep on the liveing room couch, my mom saw it and freaked out, she asked me if I was crazy?, gay?, if it hurt?, all I did was turn over and go back to sleep.

When I was 15

everyone just knew I was crazy, I cut be with the head to toe black
dog colers and books on the cruch of Satan no one really nodest, but I knew, it was takeing over my life, I had so meny cut on my arms that
ther was not a part of my skin that was not scabed red or swollen
but I did not stop.

When I was 16

I lot of things about me chanched at 16
but it was hard to say what they where
i remember one day I staired in the mirror so long
I could not stand mr face and more I was enraged
I was allwas sad, but now it was anger I did not want to see
any part of me or my life any more a hated it all so much
I tryed to blind me self, with narr hair remover, I put in to my eyes
it was the worst pain I ever felth, and when everything started to look gray I was scard and for the frist time sents my sisters death
I prayed to god not elfs or the vampire ruler
but god, and it stop the bruning the grayness stoped
and from that the I never said I did not believe in god, you can call me crazy, but I think I should'ev been blind.
but I never stoped cutting,
just mouths layer in the summer I can remember
being dressed like a latex dominatress, I craved the word nothing in my hand that word ment a lot to me it was my seventh name
I never thoght anyone nodest but when I came home one day
2 of my 3 brothers and my mom where waiting like an intervention
they asked me why?, what does it mean?, my father asked if I " really worship the devil?" I just said I do it cuz I'm crazy and never said anouther word,  but I did not stop cutting.

When I was 17

my life was sleep cutting and poetry and nothing more,
I lived in razor blades and notbooks, I can remember one day I had 2 cuts on my arm my uper arm, but I must have forgot cuz I did not
where a swater to the dinner table, my brother the same brother
that nodest when I was 12 got up in a rage and went in to the ketchen with my mom and was yelling at her " did you see the cuts?, did you see thies ******* cuts, he did not think I heard no one did but that mead my cry so hard, I'm and will allways protective of my mom, I hated that she was getting yelled at for something I did, but than she starting blameing everyone but me, I craved a heart in to my hand and she went if in my neice say "did you see her do this?"
now my cuting was everyone pain
but I did not stop

when I was 18

I did not cut as much but whene I did it was bad
I used broken glass it was my favoret, and I cut placeing
that never showed, when I  was dressed,
and I looked normle just like anyone els
nothing dark of freaky about me but if you saw me
naked I was a masacare
and I did not stop.

When I was 19

I had a hole deffrent feeling like nothing I did
was good enough, I'm not like everyone els my
age, I allwas had this thing where when ever u was outside
and someone laughed I thought it was about me
if they looked at me it was cuz I'm ugly
or just a freak, at this time it was worst
cuz I realize not much has chanched in my life.
I got my shoulder once I was one my computer
and my dad asked what happend I said I got cut when I was
moving things in my room all he said oh I thought
you where doing something weird, talk about being the last to know.

When I was 20

I only cut twice that year, And my mom seemed to think about it more that me but in a defforent way "what are you gunna do with those scars?"
shed allways say, still does no mans gonna wanna marry someone with
unexplainable scars on her body, I allways found that shallow
and cold but I did not completly stop cuting.

When I was 21

I had an inter deffrent soul or at lest a new mask
in lost wight, trund blond, for the longest time replaced
poetry with make up, try to perfect most ppl thought I was
even me, I was bublelie that girl who laughed really loud
with butterflys in my bedroom and boys on my cell phone
mirrors and make up, it kinda the new obession cuz I can feel it taken over, and no one knows it  they will never guess it
but I did not stop cuting

now i'm 22 years olds

sometimes I feel so fake I wanna scream,
I don't reconize me anymore, but I never like me anyway
I can't understand how I can want those feeling back?
I mead so long, how can I just stop?
Cuting is part of me, as much as I want it gone
then why did cry so much, more then the blood
why do I feel so worthless saying
I did not stop cutting...

there was a little mole he took a holiday
he dug underground to land so far away
packing up some clothes and his little cap
took his little  compass and a little map
now the mole was ready he was in command
set of on his journey his route all ready planned
digging for a week he popped from his hole
reached his destination the clever little soul
on the shores of spain underneath the sun
playing on the beach having lots of fun
he stayed for a week and planned the year ahead
next time for his holiday would be america insted

am shittin meself abar shittin meself coz shittin meselfs gon be bad
but da besscorsarakshn terattak da bad bastd wud be shittin meself first insted

I read and reread
So overly inspired with what others create
I cant plant the seed
I cant make these Ideas grow and blossom at any certain rate
Maybe im stuck
Stuck inside my head
Where everything sounds like junk
And I cant go to bed because its like im seeing red
I get so mad being cooped up inside my head
Why cant I get the letters to form
Its all right there and I can feel it so close
But my hand wont write and the pen wont become warm
Because I havent bothered to pick it up, I think im being a bad host
For these thoughts of mine that are clumsy
But want to be set free insted of being traped and unseen like a ghost
...sometimes I wish I were a ghost

Folder: Heart aesthetics

The two of us alone by the fire in this wild landscape, tumble weeds and dust. the endless dust.  surely there could be some sort of peace offering that might make the night a little more comfortable than that of the past days. a small truce? suddenly I noticed him watching me. it was in a strange and unguarded way. he almost seemed  likeable except for the fact he was the most arrogant, heddonistc man i had ever met. again I looked at him. I bated him a little.

"dont you know its impolite to stare at a lady?"

There was an instant glint in his eyes and I knew he was thinking of the bathing pool. I blushed thanking the fire it didnt have the air to flicker brigher.  I wasnt quite ready for a reply.


"Yes, and I sure would be in trouble if there was a lady here! cause what Im looking at would be the pride of any man who had the pleasure of meeting them!"


He caught my breath my heart paused for a second. He was oviously alluding to the invitation he so easily tossed at her by the waters edge as he handed her her towel looking away with a cheap grin trying to convey the model of a complete gentleman. I saw him at that moment, menacing and I met him eye to eye. something strange took over me as I watched him leering at me eyes moving from soft peaks to nape , to lips and challenging me with his eyes. He made no attempt to hide the fact that I was desirable in the conventional way. Just not in any other way. but strangely I didnt feel threatened but rather bolder. his hand clinched suddenly as he stood suddenly towering over me. I got up on my feet and walked back a bit to create some distance between us but I stopped unable to mover further than a few feet away. my legs were unwilling to move and his eyes were able to rove freely the peaks and vallies of my womanhood. **** the fabric for being the type to reveal my shape in the firelight,  and **** the hot air that made the moisture cling it tightly to me.


I searched for meaning in his eyes, it came in  the unfurling of his desire and manifested in the breath of my own heartbeat pulsing into a crevice long forgotten. its revival took me somewhat, by surprise. and in the instant you saw it flicker in my eyes I saw it flicker in your own under the brim of that old leather hat. panic! oh hell! not ready for this feeling! uncomfortable sweetness and lazy pulses. weakness dragging along with it a wanton desire crawling molten heat wilting and yet rising in it a will of its own. I reeled inside my mind now lost inside the sensation of my body! reactions everywhere! A deep blush and a nip of my lip  to constrain me. here we are standing face to face a few feet  from eachother and that flicker had started in me a whole revolution. my thighs grew weary of standing so tightly wound together and my hips fancied themselves drawn towards you and took thier liberties from me. here I was held in an uncomfortable contortion hips lunged forward, tightened rosettes lunging to ward you and my mind was now working against me. your jaw seemed so warm and welcomeing and I could see myself nuzzling in the craw... and your hardness proudly announcing its desire to serve. those eyes those lightning sweet flickers, glowed over you warmth and hardness so appealing so pertinently appropriate in its impropriety.


Oh what in tarnations, there goes that waffling **** joy, oh sensiblitily who the hell cares! My mind and body argue and the shakes start to take over and I am completely confounded by my senses. then just as suddenly as it came its forgotten as the realisation of why this is such an offensive state to me. All I can remember are the words he said reeling in my head!


"The invitation is revoked of its warmth on account of your inhospitiable and ungracious prudish manner, but the polite thing to do is keep the invitation open at least on a civil basis otherwise i might not be considered a gentleman."


that was his gentlemanly way of calling her a harlot! Gentleman my-  Hate suddenly crawled up my spine and to my surprise it only served to flame my passion. I wanted what I wanted and courage and boldness took hold. If its civil he wants civil he will  get! I picked up my vanity like a harlott and lunged forward stopping just as quickly hoping he hadnt noticed. Hardly worth hoping. He noticed everything and he would surely call me on it. but insted strangely intent, he stood silent, still and focused. His eyes on my eyes I had noticed once I met them. A rugged jaw clinched and fist tight beside him. but his breath was cheating him of his composure. it was at this moment I knew we were fighting the same wanton battle. Pride dancing with lust, any hopes of love torn from the bitterness of rivalry between us by the fact that he held me in such high disregard. and I only as a pure instinctual reaction, do reasonably as any reasonalbe person attributed  such unwarranted assignment of character failings would do the same.


What was I to him? I found myself wondering what it would be like to be taken under his person, his strong arms pulling me towards him pressed against him... more rushes spun in cirles around me trying to find expression tight rosettes and puckering crevices landscapes once barren and forgotten had suddenly sprung to life. alive and wanting aching craving touch and now suddenly my heart decided to pull away from me. Suddenly fear flooded my body and then anger twisted its self all over me again. What the hell is going on?? Is it in my head? to hell with it ! I peered deep into his eyes and marched into his arms and forced a kiss to push him into my headdiness. and he obliged and held it warmly and gently, though my voraciousness clearly fell away at my noticing of this sudden cordialness pushing humiliation down into my throat and deep into the core of me unleashing a viper


"Why did you let me kiss you? "


I hissed, pulling away. he replied without missing a beat,


"It was the civil thing to do."


here I am rosy as all hell with a chasm as wide as the grand canyon with the words **** etched on to my pride.


"**** you! **** you to hell!"



I rushed at him and my hand flying through the air. it had its own justice to serve and I went with it. Oh hell, i went with it! Rage flew me up to him and suddenly I felt immobilised. My hand stilled hanging in the air, less than an inch from its target. His eyes now burning into me burrowing into me with seering white heat and an intensity that made me want to look away if it hadnt been for my last shred of pride refusing and rather accepting full blindness rather than conceede. suddenly his shadow fell over me and leaning down his lips parted his eyes softened and i felt the tenderly regard he was capable of it made me weak in my knees! I fell  into it as he caught me and in that sweet kiss, so beautifully warm. velvet silkeness I clung to him pressed against himas his hardness proudly declaring his intensions. it was a fit so perfect, that had there not been silk , denim and leather chaps in the way I would have merged with him seemlessly! oh the glorious delight of such care in his ravishment of me! I was lost, I was found!  yet, I was not even aware of anything but a dire need for his impending intensions to come to light.  then I felt him pull away from my lips. confused eyes watched as they pleaded why? He pushed me away and held me back from him like some vile rat and declared


"That is what youre missing as per the original invitation."  


He let me go as pain and humiliation stung my cheeks. reeling once again. I dropped to the ground. I put my hands to my heart trying to cover what he had done.  He had breeched my sacred place my soul stained and forever darkened by this stranger, I had trusted who was entrusted to escort me to my new lodgings... now my closest enemy.  in three days. and to bare for three days more. I am lost. lost. so this is what it feels like when hell burns you to the ground? and to think I almost thought for a second I could have fallen in ? serves me right to think any man would be different.  Im an idiot. That is the exact reason I need to marry money. I regained an inchling of my composure. enought to speak well, ok hell, I spat it at him


"I trust you sir, will be gentlmanly enough not to mention this to Mr Bently?"


"As always ma'am"


he tipped his hat and walked away  from the fire and my ashes into the darkness.


I stood there for a while listening to the bushes rustle till I knew he had found a place spend the night. I walked around the carriage to enter, I waited just enough time for him to get comfortable.  then ever so politely, gave him a reason to rise.  


"Mr Jones, would you mind helping me up the footer? I'm too afraid to sleep on the ground alone."


I heard him muttering and hissing under his breath. I smiled inside. for some reason it made me feel better. He slammed the carriage door and walked off again into the dark. I sat there on the plush bench thinking of him and scolded myself just as quickly as I had thought it. it was a cycle reapeated the whole night and as I drifted off to sleep I even let myself slip a brief thought of myself on a porch cleaning potoates while looking out at Clancy wiping his brow and smiling back... Clancy, Clancy Jones. What kind of a stupid name was that anyways? No woman in her right mind would want to marry a man with a name like that!  Mrs. Clancy Jones...

Any copying or transfer of material whether part or in total is strictly prohibited unless granted permission and directly credited to the author.

when we three were parted
and tears had been shed
i, cast into shadow,
a husk in my stead

the language you speak
the syntax of lies
a shrouded deceit
cloaking your spies

no vengence i seek
no pain i demand
insted of your blood
just taller I'll stand

in secret you met
in defiance I wait
my love shall be forfeit
and my hate shall never
abate.

You ripped it straight out
of my chest held it infront of me
and tore it to pieces.
I wish you had broken my heart
insted you left me empty and shallow.
I echo inside this body, I fill myself
with your demons ,I sing pain
Yet i still have a pulse, beating
in despair.

i know the truth i know what's going on
everything is simple and i know
we're not meant to be together
when you said that you loved the smell of my hair
or the way you looked right into my eyes
while i was talking to someone else
and the time when you told me about your dreams
i know those were actually nothing
i always knew these
and tried to keep away from the truth
just fooled myself
i don't know why i stabbed the knife
deeper into my heart when it was already
half way inside
that doesn't make sense at all
why would anybody want to hurt themselves
when they're already cut into small pieces?
it never made sense to me...
but i had already fell for you and hit the ground hard
and when i fell down
deep inside my heart
i always wished that
maybe things
could get
repaired..?
and one day you'd give me a chance
prove that distance could never come between us
but insted
you taught me that it was easy to not care
i feel like things don't make sense in these days
it has been 6 months and i haven't seen your face
is it really that easy to forget about someone?
i'm trying to figure that out
i hope i can find my answers
and sew my deepest cuts

The only place

that allows me to be me.

The only place

that i am finally free.

To escape everyone

even if they walk in.

Th doctors in coats

injecting their drugs.

Sadly enough

i couldnt ask for a hug.

All i wanted was to be loved

but insted only got a cry for help.

Being alone...

and tied in my thoughts.

I really don't know

how to end this poem.

All i know is...

i'm in a padded room

tie in a straightjacket

ready to crack.

I've failed and fallen
I´m terrified of my own reflection
Perhaps I betrayed myself
by loving you and then leaving
Maybe I was a secret never meant
to be shared.
But I could never keep myself
in place.
I would break all over you
and catch the pieces
Was  I wrong making
my wishes out of your dreams
I´ve lost you in so many ways
and found you in all the wrong places
I keep thinking that you might
keep me from falling
But insted you make me tremble
Maybe  Im just in love with
the way you handle my heart.

Water, Water all around but it was not so safe and sound
for in this water my friend drowned
I was a school the day it happened but i can picture it as if i was there
The water was running very fast
I wish my friends had decided to keep walking instead of stopping for a swim but i cant change the past
While everyone else was doing something different he fell in and hit his head and that was good bye to my dear sweet friend
When they started to notice that he was missing they didnt worry they thought he had gone home insted
But when they got home he wasn't there, that gave everybody a great big scare
His sister came down to my house to see if i had seen him but i had not so she left
I prayed to god to make sure he was okay
But it was too late to save him from his fate
Later she called and told me he was dead, i went and cried in my bed
I'm still sad even to this day, but i know that everything will turn out ok

I slept like a log, inspite of the pains from my blistered feet. Harry woke me at six thirty. "Time for breakfast, better jump to it or i'll tickle your feet."  The thought of that was enough to set me in motion. After breakfast we assembled for role call beside the waiting coaches. Then we boarded, and left the camp heading for the airfield. Every one was expecting to fly from RAF Lyneham, we had heard that we would be flying in the new Dehavilland Comet, the first passenger jet. It was not to to be. The comet had crashed into the sea, there were no survivors!
Instead of that, we were driven to a remote airfield in Wiltshire, I believe it was called Cliff Pypard,  there we boarded an ageing hastings transport and set off into the wide blue yonder heading on a more southerly bearing than one would expect for a flight to Germany.
I tried to keep an eye on our progress by following coastlines, it was difficult, clouds obscured much of the coast line. I had the definite feeling that we were travelling in a South Easterly direction, and I asked one of the aircrew about it. "Don't worry, I expect we'll take a turn to the north soon." A little later, I suddenly realized that we were flying over the Med- Germany via the Med, never in this world!!
We ate chicken wings lettuce and bread for lunch, still flying at a steady one hundred and eighty miles an hour at mid day, below us dessert! We were all confused. Where on earth were we going?
Our first stop was at a place called Idris, it was an airstrip in the Libyan desert. There was nothing there only tents, and a place to refuel. I was a squalid stinking dump, and that was all. We left early the following morning after a laughable breakfast that no one ate. Our ext stop was a similar one but even more so, It was a place alled Habanya, I think, I went to use one of the two toilet's and discovered that the horrible brown stains in the toilets were actually enormous heaving masses of huge cockroaches, I went out into the desert insted. when I got back to our tent I was told off. "this place is crawling with snakes, don't stray about!" we didn't need telling twice! The tents were just as bad, infested with huge spiders, no one slept. We were glad to leave it.

Long gone are the warm flames of love
Ice cold hearts break into shards of hate
No more kisses in the night
Replaced by the hand of fate

Shadows dance upon the walls
Of lost love now hidden from the sun
How to hold once more the tender
Being that was

So cry no more for loves lost touch
But melt insted the hate filled soul
And tears shall fall upon cheeks so red
Bitten by the frost

Once upon a time my friend
I lost to the winds of time
Frozen in my deepest wound
Unable to cry for time

Yet here I stand bathed in light
Holding out my hands
For soon on the summer light
A heart I will understand

This might sound rude
    But right now im not in the mood
Listening to little kids as a mother sings her babys to sleep
     Talking to my boy as hes sayen hes about to leave
   Im just sayen im not in the best mood
My body isent funtioning in the way id like
And id rather not be sober on this ok night
   Id rather be doing something
    Somthing other then miss you
My father
    Your name
Well thats easy its chad
Your postion
Was a father
A husband
A listener
A provider
And the best part of chad
You made the choice to love and take care of me when you dident have to
    You wer a great dad
And i miss you dearly
You were the best person iv ever known
    My hart longs for you
        Chad
I had just started calling you dad
The day you passed
All o wanted was for you to stay home
To ride bikes with me but insted you had to work
   You had to leave
My daddy i miss you  
I just wanna hear your voice

Okay.
Well there are people that take love as something thats not love.
If your in love with someone,  you wanna be their night and day,
Their one and only,
Their sunny day,
Their rainy day.
They want to be yours. And only your.
They will listen to anything you say. Just to please you.
Now insted of taking love differently know what it is.
Now i'm writing this because people in my school act dumb as ****
And think they know what llove is. your in ******* 6th, 7th, or 8th.
You don't kknow what love is if you don't want anyone to be the things listed above. 8th grade drama if you love someone but you say you love them but want to be with someone else.?? If you know who i'm talking about.  Stop being so ******* stupid. and if you don't like this.
I CAN GIVE A **** LESS. ^.^

It's the opposite of light , a dark place only some will enjoy.
it comes with its name it comes with the night.
I prefer the darkness over light ,
why you ask ?
It doesn't lie , it doesn't feed false hopes , it tells the truth ,
in it we find secrets , we find demons and ghosts, fear brings out the truth.
just as life is a big illusion so is light , they say light is at the end of the tunnel , but we walk for years with no luck , I for one think its time to best embrace the ****.
Accept the darkness and forget the light and suddenly your path will open up in plan sight , seak the truth and you will find no light but insted a darkness so true so bright it will become your guiding light.

Success is your goals your achievements
Success is not the mess
Insted it is like getting a dress
Yea the thing you work hard towards
But when you fail just keep moving forward

People think of life is as slow as a snail
But when your choices are bad, mean, and ungrateful, that is what causes you to fail
And will cause you to go to jail

So be grateful and succeed on your life
Instead of ending it with a knife

If you fall keep moving forward
If you don’t reach your goals keep moving forward
Work hard because you need to succeed to achieve
Have that mistake change with a good solution and a good conclusion
Succeed on your dreams don’t let them be just an illusion

Like my dad once said if you fall once it doesn’t mean you have to give up
It is all about moving forward
Don’t be lame
Success is not a game
Instead of saying I give up
replace give with go and say

“I go up”

And when you are the best don’t stay the same and go over your self  

Don’t sit down like that plant on the shelf
Move show your talent and help others believe
Protect others like a greave and after all of that you will know the true meaning of

SUCCESS

It hurts me
To know
She's crying because of me
I didn't mean to cause her distress
She's my sister at the end of the day.
She worries she says I wish I could of seen you struggle Insted of cutting
I cry because i don't want to be her reason behind her tears
She's my sister
My world

I see you, pull my headphones out to greet you, even though I get more distracted by the thought of having to pull them out as a nice gesture than the actual music in my ear.
It's weird but that's just who I am.
It sure feels like I'm part of somebody's plan when everything I learned Can't even teach me how to behave like a human.
A pet, like a dog I'm confused by all the dogmas surrounding me.
Luckily I got the audacity to turn down their offerings and create a way for myself and those who choose to follow me, so follow me since nobody else has. I rode a straight path where darkness was the only friend I ever had but now.. I'm suppose to have all my **** in the bag?
So they ask; What do you need? A rack? Reggie or split it half and half?
I don't care...
As long I'm that needle in the haystack for my aire to find and inherit the knowledge of spreading peace in the air insted of spitting crack that's not hard to grind. Meanwhile my friends keep chasing birds like it was the only word my generation ever heard but **** it, It's cool.
Judging you was never something I ment do. I am just making you realize that, "that" ain't my life so when I finally do what I really want to do  just compare the difference and understand I had nothing to lose.

(writing exercise for grounding - please write out your own and feel free to share it with me. This is not ego, this is reaffirmation of the path I wish to take so that I can be better. Welcome to a LVL 1 - Self Training Exercise)
I am still here.
I am whole.
I am wise.
I am capable.
I am strong.
I am lucky.
I am meta.
I am inspiring.
I am loving awareness.
I am constantly growing to be better.
I am consistently showing up for self.
I am persistently trying to be there for others.
I am always trying my best.
I protect my source.
I love others.
I am kind.
I am clear.
I am aware.
I am working daily on my goals.
I am reducing strain on my system.
I am always strategizing and analyzing.
I do what is best for the whole not only the one.
I work to see where the self ends and begins.
I take a step back when emotions are at play.
I strive to be harmonious with surroundings/
I take appropriate action when called.
I operate cleanly without transmiting my burden onto others.
I articulate my needs before they become problematic.
I ask for my needs insted of becoming a challenge myself.
I activate with good intentions and a happy, sound mind to enjoy the process of creation.
I do no harm, but take no ****.
I respect the emotions and needs of others.
I remove expectations and apply replacement behaviours so I may simply take action and succeed.
I hold no energy that does not assist in the leveling up of self.
(Feel free to steal and write out any of these that you may want to take with you onto your next chapter, I highly recommend retrajectorization on the regular. Where are you going next? How are you going to get there? Who are you? Take a page and write out a stream of consiousness to see what naturally develops)
I