you're caught up in the person you think you want to be
You try so desperately to escape reality
I don't even know who you are anymore, but I know its someone I'll never want to be
I can't hold on to the memories of how it use to be of you and me
you're no longer my best friend, you're just a worthless druggie
And even if you were to stop I know it will never be the same
You had it all and you fell from grace, all because you could not satisfy your taste
Look at you now what do you have to show?
A felony record, no job, living like a slob
I'm angry at you for the stupid choices you make
I'm sad that I never get to see a real smile on your face
I hate my self for being jealous of those other losers with whom you would rather spend your time
all because you always have to snort another line
I have to realize that I cant control the choices that you make
I hate you for leaving me all alone, I hate you for NEVER picking up your ******* phone
but most of all I hate you for no longer being my friend
I guess you lied when you said we would be best friends till the end

open you're legs you little *****, that's all you're worth for
If only you could see my side of the story, if only you knew the pain I felt so ashamed of following you're orders
why cant I be a bigger person
cowering in fear of what you say, ashamed of my own body.
and those disgusting text he sent me, I'm embarrassed to be alive
No longer innocent and sweet, I see a ***** every time I see my own face
I'm so tired of you calling me names.  It only confirms everything I already know about my self.
I wish I could take back everything that happened that day
I wish I could make the whole world go away..
but I cant
How can you say such spiteful words, they slap me across the face with regret.
I long to be perfect in your eyes again, not the ***** you see, the ugly **** you created
Why cant I live in sanity, Why must this action forever haunt me
If only you knew how  really felt, not the actions you have created in your mind
Please just allow me to cower and hide, never again to ever have pride
Maybe one day I'll win back your love

Theses tears of love feel like acid aganist my face
I want to see the world and dance among the stars i want to hear "be who you are"
To run through the fields and only care about me
to not have to feel guilty about my own discoveries
Your cursing hatred crushes down all around me
You keep me trapped in my own insanity
And yet your the one who loves me the most, its as if I'm living the life of a ghost

I'm obsessed with things that no longer exist
I know that for you then was pure bliss
You told me you and her were done
You told me I was the only one
Pictures on the wall mock me with their simplicity

Drained of every emotion all that i have is whats left of my body while I sleep
Use me up as I dream come and tell me what to be
Open my eyes to my destiny
Know that I'm not the only one. That others follow in my wake wanting life and not to forsake
It all absorbs into the dirt and like the glass its gone and dry my life, my grace, my dignity gone somewhere else for a day
Let me sleep off all that makes me question my self let me find a better way to say the words I cant find, the courage to speak out loud

Sometimes I wish it would all go away
The pain and hurt i feel everyday
Never wanting to take off my makeup i hide with-in
I wish that I could fly away to some place to possibly stay a night of yonder
It is there that I would ponder
What I truly desire
I claim to want you all the time
But is the love I have to great for even me to want to find?
I want to never again cry
I want the time to pass me by
go somewhere else while I lay here and die
Show me what i need to learn
As I sit here moping, wishing for your return

The way i was I feel does not reflect who i really want to be
If only I could see that i realy have it all, its as if i want my self to fall from grace
A beautiful boy who loves me for me. Its like I'm always greedy for more
Whats wrong with my face, the way I think everything is painted like an image on the wall.
The artist i wish that i could be struggles with my own humanity
From the box the wrappings torn, I'm not the present wrapped up tight.