"dillusion" poems
i can see, what was then, has never have been, for you as it was for me.
Like it was just yesterday, we were laughing together in magic, but now u am the object of your laugh
i can see, what will be, is just the pain i seen in me.
Like it was just moments, i held your hand and save you from the despair,
only to see i was toy within your love scam career.
If you remember the hand that fed you support, the light i cast on you, as you reached out to me before
as the one who feels, you would see the pain i have in me.
I am the pawn of your unrequited love, the unrequited love that has ripped my soul into a reality of shame.
...
I am the pawn of your unrequited love, the unrequited love that has ripped my soul into a reality of shame.
unrequited love so deeply true
I can see, us dancing with our fingers creating a meal, only to be a dillusion in my head
Like it was just yesterday, we shared a alot of our own soul, smiling.
i can see, a person who foolishly open his heart and given the blood to be,
Like it was just moments, you held my heart and said you're lucky for me
only to see i was an object of your own deceit.
I am the pawn of your unrequited love, the unrequited love that has ripped my soul into a reality of shame.
..
I am the pawn of your unrequited love, the unrequited love that has ripped my soul into a reality of shame.
unrequited love so deeply true.
Now broken i can be, building my true me, picking up the pieces indeed, Ooh, i will open the heart to someone to be,
only in time the tears will drive slowly from the ice i am thawing. love is all around me, over me, under me,
but ....
i can see, the love is from you, but i feel greater love through and through
Like is it is seconds, holding you as you cry tour pain to me, hoping for a smile again
I can see, what I am now, in tears in my spite of my loss and invisibility,
Like it was now, when the mirrors of ur pain, u bestowed on me with your ability
only to see true hate over my true love
I am the pawn of your unrequited love, the unrequited love that has ripped my soul into a reality of shame.
..
I am the pawn of your unrequited love, the unrequited love that has ripped my soul into a reality of shame.
unrequited love so deeply true.
Dec 14, 2016
Dec 14, 2016 at 11:09 PM UTC
If I fantasize about you coming back to me
then I don't have to let you go
my reality
is almost perfected....
I'll choose insanity because it has you in it.
I'll choose dillusion because, there.... you tell me you love me still
I'll choose denial because hopelessness can feel like hope
the only world I want to accept
is the one where, in it, you're lying next to me.
I'll choose insanity
instead of accepting that you left a long time ago.
Tonight.... I'm lying here, nearly asleep, and you're lying next to me.
Perfect
Oct 2, 2020
Oct 2, 2020 at 1:47 AM UTC
I realized one of the peacekeepers tonight
And, as always, I spoke honestly
But against tendency, I was specific
-Maybe it was the drunken haze, but the vision had so much clarity
I spoke words to him, that formed without thought, nor doubt of mind
And when these naturals were vocalized, there was no need to speak uncertainty of that what was said
- in fact, these words, alike these at the making of my fingertips
Felt as though their mortality through speech or visibility, gave them truth that me or my subconscious could question.
This drunken conversation that was in obedience to circumstances
Was extreme and unnaturally passionate
Yet, disorbedient to sobriety, was fluid and understanding
I feel now, possibly to be regretted in the morning, completely confident in the impact made
He is good- as good as he is a keeper of peace
And my words spoken, although never able to be retold in accuracy
Affected me as much as I, possibly am mistaken to believe, he was to be
But here, in this poetic security, I wish to share them
He is a peace keeper, I am sure
As we conversed I looked to the greenery around us and they showed no warnings
Their leaves , as they do in sunlight and rain, continued to show love without worry
And that love, I felt strong, and thanked as it kept my speech strong
I asked- or even in my possible dillusion of high spiritedness, commanded, this man
In all the goodness that I possess and could show
To pass his negativity to my mound
As I do to all that seek peace rather than create it
You don't need to fight in this battle, my friends
For your role, is one much needed when the time comes
So save your fight, and save that energy
For your light is strong, and crucial for darker times to come
Should this message, this realization raise alarm
And the puppeteers ask of you those sins frequently ask,
Don't worry, don't hesitate, don't fight against their orders
Just breathe, sigh even, and act as you always have
I see your hearts
I feel that love long forgotten
The fact that you don't want to obey is in fact in our favor
Because we all know, deceit is their favorite game
But this deceit is the beginning of their downfall
As your want to avoid passing me the negativity, will unnaturally cause them to cast it in rebellion
But I am strong, and my strength is yet to show
I have your back, because I know you will soon have mine.
Aug 12, 2013
Aug 12, 2013 at 2:02 PM UTC
Dizzy. Head spins. Confusion sets in.
Night whispers sweet nothings with a tinge of revenge.
Confusion settles in. Gets comfy. Decideds to stay for a while.
While all the while, while... frustration hits.
Singular- One- in multiples of one- spins me.
Tears come and go, flipping emotion through and through me.
I get dizzy sometimes. I can feel sometimes
Only confusion twirling me, twisting me, hitting me,
Not letting me live, live...
Live each day singular. One. In so many multiples of one.
Through and through me. Screaming into me.
Becoming my known way of life.
When will this end? Revolver. Revolving.
Circling, Cycling, Breathing on it's own without the need of me.
No longer a function of me,
has become me.
Oh- the tears- Hole in chest, in head, in heart.
Hole of me making the whole of me.
Angry me, ripping through me, cutting me in two and two and two.
Singular. One. So many multiples of one.
Penetrating peace, any semblance of sanity.
Never an end to my dillusion. Called Life,
Called Me, I, You, She,
all of We, she says, quiet under breath
while water drowns her head.
Hollow vast nothing, eats the pieces of me, tearing out bits of me.
We do not understand. We do not stand
straight. Too singular, too multiple.
We are too spun and the web goes on and on...
Star night, Star bright,
First black hole I am tonight.
Mar 12, 2013
Mar 12, 2013 at 8:43 PM UTC
ya I'm wondering searching for something I can't find
and I'm just pondering wondering were is my mind
yes I see a beam of light that'll surely mesmerize
ya in day and night taking this **** world by surprise
and the new moon in her eyes glistening the night sky
yes its no surprise life can't truly be analysed
well some dwell in it, some just don't want it anymore
just break free deception, specimen of perfection
yet I know what it was for, lost it, find its lament
this pale fragments of porcelain skin fall to the floor
and drift away into the wind to be seen nevermore
and the circumstance of this romance for life is
it can cut like a knife, lift to unmentionable heights
you take a long stroll in the maze of a twisted mind
oh how they quandaried on how it would unfurl in time
so spacious liviacious an endless strain on the mind
oh I really wonder will it rebuilt it self in time
yet I'm just pondering asking the world why so many lies
see there's a crack of light through this dismal dark night sky
oh how the fire dances in her eyes, as my mind now fries
the new moon in the night sky glistening in her eyes
we say your goodbyes to what you always thought it would be
so sad to see modesty might be the end of me
oh it may just be the end of me this time, nothing' inside
how some dwell in it, some just want to live delusions
my conclusions a dillusion with no solution
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 6:29 AM UTC
Feet firmly planted.
Eyes peering into ciy lights . My old friends had waited patiently.
The merry go round would stop. The hurdy gurdy would stop with
Deafening silence. As if what.
As if the token was never paid.
As if the effort was never made.
As if the book ran out of pages with no happy ending.
Optional. Washed away. History told by the one eyed griot
Who had long since gone deaf.long ago lost a marble. But could not
Do the tally.
As if nothing matters but the most recent revision.
As if trutth was a street walker working for her next fix.
As if the distortion was a virtue.
Years in the salt mines. Drudgery and dillusion paassing for
Infinite hope. The yolk bit deep the lash was a given annointed
as saviour.
As if the piper played for gratis.
As if the contract was written in wine.
As if one side payed while the other played.
Blood is thicker than *****
Like minds meld in commonality.
The twig lays close to the branch
As if that is the last word.
As if all is wellin mudvill.
As if Casey put it over the fence.
As if.
Feb 22, 2013
Feb 22, 2013 at 1:29 AM UTC
Stop.
It.
Mind.
Just SHUT UP for once
Stop the streams from overflowing out from that useless brain
Put on breaks on the car you're driving fast and insane
Mind is stupid bleaming useless rhymes
To the twisted nerves of the twisted inward eye
Unfaithful teachings, Just stop before being taught
Untruthful preachings, it's all a lie but you don't get caught
You're all an illusion
But my thoughts, an addictive dillusion
It's all impossible things I think of
Then it's hard to breathe when I know it's true
That it's impossible to be with you
Just slow down the streams
That flow within me like a flue
Contagious to make me clear to stand away from truth
Stop deceiving me as if I am a stranger
Make things to me more elucid
Instead of pushing me into danger
Because I am a mere innocent kid
Trapped on your purposely slippery pathways
My car to future like this would soon skid.
You are me, you understand?
Stop pushing me and give me your hand
Take me up and up
Higher, I am not a scared pup
I know what you are doing
I am family, don't get me falling
DOWN
BACK
TO EARTH
You are a part of me
Then let me see
How we could be
When we co-operate together in harmony.
So, brain,
Don't leave me alone
Be in control
Don't lose your track
I am behind your back
I'll be there for you
You'll be there for I
Let's not make us fall into the pit
Instead make the sky a target we should together hit.
Please don't cheat on I
Because you're the last one me trusts
Do never say to innocence your goodbyes
Or else like my words
We'll both be stuck here like
DuMb wOrst bUds.
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 24, 2015 at 1:12 PM UTC
Never ever talk to me
When you are in a sad state
'cause then I'm induced to give you solutions
Which is a big mistake.
In my life
I have minuscule amount of experience
So much I don't know
About the things in my existence
And you come to me
Looking for a solution
But guess what?
Whatever I tell you is just my dillusion
I tell you to go say sorry to that person
But in my life
I would have never apologised for a good reason
I tell you to go and pray to God
But my friend
I don't even believe if there's a God or not
I tell you innumerable things
I never did
I am just a creature
Who, in a bad situation, always hid,
When you lie,
you're listening to me lecture you
When in my life I have never been true.
So come on my friend
I am no angel
Whatever teaching I send
Is always fake
So there is a request to you I make
Before listening to anyone
You should see
If you can spot
Any irony.
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 21, 2015 at 8:24 AM UTC
Particles
Numerous
Grandeur in their audacity to
Compare me to each insignificant blade of grass
As I stand above the overpass
Blurry reds and whites
Melting apathetically in with the dusting of pink
Almost lept from my gravitational pull
Instead remembered how good it felt
When your indecency once slid up
The opening in my dress
I stayed planted
Promising my dillusion the same temptations
Would ultimately make another appearance
In the infinite rotation of a tangled set of lucid moments
And maybe,just maybe
This time
They'd stay a little longer.
Sep 27, 2017
Sep 27, 2017 at 9:47 PM UTC
Every time i tuck
My lazarus body
Under the quilt
And put the lights off
You get nigh in
Every dillusion
**** i wish
I could turn back time.
Too bad we just
Water under the bridge.
Jul 1, 2020
Jul 1, 2020 at 4:10 PM UTC
falling down, standing up
falling down, slowly rising
falling down, staying down
never wanting to rise
looking behind
the stumbling block was never there
falling up
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 9:09 PM UTC
It’s the worst at night
Alone
With ink-lit quietude as company
I feel the disconnect
And miss you
When I’m with others
With guards of delusion
The illusion schemes
And I only need myself
Or whatever phantasm I can attach to
Sep 27, 2020
Sep 27, 2020 at 3:54 PM UTC
I saw a needle making love with it's self within a field of poppies, egotistical in it's savagery, swirling within a storm of love filled lies. I watched in wrapt amazement seemingly drawn to the promise of a world thought unobtained, a world only in dreams, I drank the sweet nectar of the gods as the poppies cried their tar, bringing an ****** of lies cries a loneliness that brought a beauty one could only dream. Conspiring confusion as I dove deeper into dillusion where freedom was shackled thoughts perpetually repeating until thought became obsession no matter the consequences. Alone in my thoughts, injecting more lies I silently follow further into the the desolate terms of this silent contract.
Dec 9, 2019
Dec 9, 2019 at 1:02 AM UTC
Time spent compounding knowledge from a foreign origin
“Be hold”, he chants
A figure of which she can’t see
Like a cold breeze on his forearms she looks anaesthetically into space
With drums beating in her chest,
She leaves his side desolate
Following the commands from a different plane
His reality unfolds layers stepping out of the truth
Dillusion saturates all that makes sense
His thoughts are overflowing with treasured momens left behind
He finds peace at the feet of his giant
All sense is lost
Apr 28, 2020
Apr 28, 2020 at 2:54 AM UTC
In my head
I do dread
What I see
Inside of me
Through the years
And the tears
I felt insane
From the pain
All the confusion
And the dillusion
There's no escape
From the hate
Years of abuse
And substance use
****** and ****
Fist they hit
Across my face
Frustration they misplace
Ugliness became me
Innocence ripped viciously
Saw a ******
I dove further
Insomnia now arrives
Nightmares now thrives
Beatings more violent
I'm more irrelevant
Let's fast forward
Life more horrid
Another ******* death
Friend's last breath
He committed suicide
Emptiness consumes inside
Youth in hell
Where I dwell
Gunsmoke choking me
Monsters hunting me
Now the cage
Woman's misplaced rage
Here's the twist
With my fist
With much force
I'm the source
A chilling beast
Wicked I feast
A menacing fool
Violence my tool
Scars go deep
No longer weep
Burden crushing shoulder
I grow colder
Bloodstained hands tremble
Now I resemble
What I despise
**** no surprise
Daughters ripped away
Shame on display
Tears soaking inside
Emotions must hide
People judging me
Reacting so ignorantly
When I'm down
Kicking me around
When I'm soaring
Good times roaring
Now I'm grown
I'm more alone
Hard to feel
Need to heal
I am dying
But I'm trying
But this rage
Is a cage
Do you see
Beauty in me
Is it there
I'm so unaware
Please I say
I'm on display
I do try
That's no lie
Jul 19, 2017
Jul 19, 2017 at 3:32 AM UTC