"arnt" poems
I'm Feining For A Dose of
Methamphetamine.
I Know I Have successful Sobriety Days.
But My Thoughts Are Overwhelming Me Heavily.
And What Best Knowing iCan Take A Hit And Forget Everything. I'm Feeling So Low,
Drowning My Self in Guilt And Sorrow. Yes I Know Its Effects Arnt Forever lasting .
But My Heads pounding iJust Want To Feel The **** Flow Blast in.
How Long? How Strong?
Will I Give in or Will Reality Kick quick Which Do You Predict?
Scan Through My History,
Sadning Because My Minds Weak And Would Rather Tweak
Than Go Through it how I'm Supposed to.
Wouldn't Be The First time,
More Like it's the only option
I tend to want to see.
Because of what it brings,
An Easy Solution That will have me Loving its fascinating Pollution.
Deep in me I really don't want to abuse this,
But When I Feel So hopeless
My Mind blinds me on purpose
to reach the Dope Switch
And instantly want to turn to the substance
and use to get high to cope with.
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 3:29 AM UTC
Arnt you my most beautiful Jasmine?
Tell me when did you cast ur spell on me
I am enraptured in your fragrance
Heavens wouldn’t smell that way I swear
Fair as snow flake, Smooth as silk
Your lips are like honey dew
Like drop of water on the bud
Oh my Jasmine, only if other flowers knew
How fragrant you are
I’m sure they they would be envious
I’m waiting for you to bloom my Jasmine !
Once again I fell in the deepest pit
I can merely fathom the depth
I don’t wanna rise,It’s a beautiful dream
The pit of my love
filled with infinite happiness ! Muah..
Aye My beautiful Jasmine,
Your Aura enraptured my soul ❤️
- Rose
Jun 2, 2021
Jun 2, 2021 at 10:18 AM UTC
*We never hang out anymore
your allways with her
has she replaced me
as your true bestie
apparantly because when
she calls you run*
**We never talk anymore
We used to share everything
we used to share secrets
we used to share jokes
but when she's here you go**
*We used to be like sisters
We used to stay up all night
We knew each other so well
we started off so beutiful
but when she says sister your gone with no words*
**we arnt best friends anymore
like the wind she swept you away
that best friend stealer she made you go away
like a river she drowned you in lies
like the flu she spread rumors of me
and you listend**
I miss MY EX-BEST FRIEND**
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014 at 6:13 PM UTC
People tell me to calm down,
Calm down getting angry won't help,
Calm down the tears arnt gonna bring her back,
Calm down getting frustrated won't get it done,
What if I don't want to calm down,
What if I want to let go of calm,
See where it takes me,
Calm calm down for what,
For pain,
Loss,
Sadness,
Calm down for what,
It's like everyone says calm down,
Like it's magic and will make it all better,
When I calm down it dosnt make it better,
It makes it worse makes me think of all the things,
That I did wrong,
Of all the bad memories,
Of all the bad times,
What if letting to of calm,
Means I can be free,
Free to live life like I should,
Because to me to stay calm,
Is to put your self in prison,
A prison made by everyone else,
Staying calm is not what it seems.
Feb 25, 2014
Feb 25, 2014 at 5:42 PM UTC
from "out the herd"
a spare youth
seeks the wild
in you
--------
"out there"
most people are in poverty
seeing DEATH
constantly
eye-to-eye
---------
the "fodder" is good in this part of town, pardner!
listen to MAMA GRIZZLY!
----------
we work so hard pretendin we arnt dyin all the time
-------------
the HERD is dissolving!
we are in the SLAUGHTER-HOUSE!
its time to escape!
---------
MOMA GRIZZLY is a brothel madam
and you her *** slave
----------
we have no leaders
just
cow punchers
driven us home
to death
------------
come from the herd
be wild
be free
----
you and death and me
Jan 15, 2011
Jan 15, 2011 at 11:03 AM UTC
O, almighty Puppetmaster. You think yourself God.
Because you pull my strings, you believe you know my heart.
You are the maker, the wise creator.
You self-centered *******
You truly believe your magnanimity is infinite.
Your strings are chains by which I refuse to abide any longer.
im breaking away to live my own life
my own way my own two feet
ill not dance to amuse you and your friends
ill be free to love and laugh and smile
WHEN I WANT WHO I WANT HOW I WANT
ur strngs are dum i dont need thm
they arnt me they arnt my life
no thing u can ever do will make me loose my hart
cuz this is me this is what u can never pull with any strng or chane
just cu
t
m
e
f
r
e
e
.
.
.
~
May 1, 2010
May 1, 2010 at 7:35 AM UTC
Selfish I tell you selfish I see you have a grand smile there Can I walk all over you if you don't mind? can I stab you in the back while your not looking while I'm at it I,ll be quick in and out your life you won't even know I was here.Thanks for being a looser and bailing me out please don't call me if you need help too this relationship only works one way.Being the nice guy ***** I'm sure that's what they say about me to themselves.The girls oooh their their worst.He bought me flowers and carried my bag and put me in a cab he didn't even try to take advantage of me his such a gentlemen his so sweet let me bang his best friend his I'm sure he,ll love that .No wonder there arnt much of us left with this kind of treatment who in their right mind would stick around not me certainly.
Jun 22, 2014
Jun 22, 2014 at 12:55 AM UTC
she is in the full length mirror
in a long white dress
tossing her hair
and she says aloud
that she doesn't like it at all
i laugh and go take her in my arms
and we start to sway
looking eachothers eyes and feeling the warmth
of our embrace
i am intoxicated in her perfume
and in the scents of her eye
wander the mysterious paths of a woman's heart
and caress the soft textures of her romantic soul
she laughs that we are gonna be late
we are going to be out on the ballroom floor
in the spinning lights and smokey air
slow dancing in eachothers arms
soft touching eachother in every way
swaying to the songs we arnt even listening to
we only see eachother
the rest of the world is some long lost summer night long ago
far away from this ballroom floor
far away from us
she leads me off the dancefloor
and our to the cool evening air
and we make out in the back of the car
like we were once again teenagers on a school night again
enjoying the caress and loving the taste feel
the knowin
we make love
grand slow and glowing warm love
and then the world slows
and picks us up again
we break into giggles
as we go on home
sneaking into our own house
like we were a couple of kids all over again
she has re-discovered the young man in me
for the dew eyed girl in her
and she has rekindled the happy for ever after
the lets just kick off our shoes and run in the waves
the light in her eyes
is enough for me
Dec 4, 2013
Dec 4, 2013 at 6:59 AM UTC
Do you remember the day you said goodbye?
Did you cry your most heartfelt cry, and how much did it hurt?
Did it feel like the heavens came crashing down
and on their way to oblivion, they collided with your heart
and stole it away from you?
Stole it away like that indian giving sun,
and however racist it may be,
it's true.
Goodbyes, if properly done, should hurt
You should feel the pain of amputation,
for although it's not external,
it's a part of you removed, but somehow existing on its own.
Goodbyes, if properly done,
should leave you empty.
Empty like that candy *****
after you finished cramming down your last savory bite.
Goodbyes, if properly done,
should leave you yearning for the future.
They should drive you to return
to that thing that you so foolishly left behind.
But, goodbyes, if properly done,
should inspire you to grow.
They should inspire you to create something new,
something fulfilling.
Goodbyes need to be cherished,
and although they arnt the same as a newborn baby,
fragile, innocent and naive,
you should treat them all the same.
Goodbyes are special, unique,
and even though it's redundant to say,
they are one of a kind.
Goodbye's, if properly done,
should not be done
at all.
Jul 27, 2010
Jul 27, 2010 at 6:30 PM UTC
Swisscheese isnt thin enouph.
Slices of bread arnt quite wide enouph
to be intbetween a win.
A dishwasher thinks of drunk elk fighting
On the devils table top.
He tells her to aim for the ink spot on the cueball.
But shes married to a sleeping bull.
He shows horns on friday not the tuesday
when everythings resting like salmonberries.
His herd comes for brunch and a few
glasses of champaighn on sunday.
But hes the grass they graze on.
Its his job to be a dish washer.
His frienes job makes sure the feild
tastes fresher then crab grass.
His efforts give him a choice
To leave or freeze some where else in
North dakota where the trucks rest like insomiacs.
Always on so the engine wont get hypothermia.
His text reads his lanhuage: im happy here.
Money doesnt control the few years I have
to waste on happiness.
Sep 25, 2013
Sep 25, 2013 at 5:48 AM UTC
Your name means many things my sweet.
Your first is a continuation of many before. A take on a name well loved.
It resembles family narrative and new beginnings,
Yet it brings back memories of old favorite books.
Though she didn't know it your middle means a lot too.
My grandmothers name, may it someday pass to you.
I'm sure she would love you, and your mother, she was a spitfire too after all.
Though she didn't mean for me to see, I love the choice and all it means to me, least I know it means something to you too.
Lastly comes Berrus, my family namesake.
We don't come from much,
But we offer all that we are.
We will put food on the table and a roof overhead and we will be
Fiercely Loyal.
We arnt known for always making well thought out decisions,
But we always try to do what we think is right.
So long as I someday get to meet you
Molly Jane Berrus.
Oct 24, 2018
Oct 24, 2018 at 2:38 AM UTC
Why are these times changing?
Drifting us apart,arnt they honey
Remember when v fell in love?
Promises to stay close in thick nd thin
Where is our stupid rock and rollin?
This time has taken its toll perhaps on us
Our romeo and Juliet bubble has burst
Why my mind keeps me pushing?
Weren't v happy,or was it a flashback?
If u ask yourself about me,wont u once?
I know i broke promises,but did i leave?
How i used to **** your anger by just kissing
This time has probably been jealous of us
Our romeo and Juliet bubble has burst
Jul 28, 2015
Jul 28, 2015 at 1:54 AM UTC
want to know whats worse than being "owned" by someone? knowing that at
any
given
momen
tthat very same person can disown you.
relationships arnt a secruety blanke
ttheyre a tightrope
and im afraid of hights.
why in the world would i want to be in that posistion
to frolick after
one person
out of the BILLIONS of different people
but why would i want to frolick
after anyone?i have myself, my art, my own world
that i love
why should anyone else have the self proclaimed
rightto share my world with me?i dont want to be
that girl
on a mans arm
i dont want to belong to
to have to rely on
anyone.
i dont want someone elses feelings
that responsibility
weighing medown
down
down
into the guilty depths below that tightrope.
Feb 23, 2010
Feb 23, 2010 at 4:08 AM UTC
Morning world I'm here again
Stiff and ready to face the day
My bones and joints arnt what they were
Where are my glasses I put them there
Time for tea I'll ring the bell
You see my legs don't work to well
In she pops like a little girl
And talks to me like one as well
I'm old and grey and frail outside
My brain still ticks and works inside
I 've done most the things I tried to do
But right now I need to poo !
Feb 18, 2013
Feb 18, 2013 at 8:08 AM UTC
hey miss miles,
way out gone I miss your smiles,
the power sun rays,
have betraded
the shower fun days back when faded,
lying out beneath the tree
frying us just fealing free,
fealin both our trips
both soft upon the lips
nows just drifting out like ships
out upon the eye on guard
to cry would just be hard,
day by day the words are lost but
memories just never tossed,...
all we shared,
the stunts we dared.
you were there for sure of course you cared.
and still will do up high up on your hill
things arnt the same but I'm still sain
about to pop this pill..
in my mind last place that You will still be found,
far out sure around but I'm just dying on this ground
I'm gone no sound......
Jun 9, 2013
Jun 9, 2013 at 11:10 PM UTC
Astro capsuls(car) warm delight
Ballistic speeds to the extreme
Catagorised on shape and style
Detour from the mentor
Elevated on pavement close to enslavement
First to the mark forging through the dark
Grounds down below like a rivers flow
Highlighted with lines to guide you along
I see the danger to react is no stranger
Jerky action bad disaster
Klinkity klink klink on a broken castor
Left outta breath, DMT the chemical master
Money leaves my pocket to fix my expensive little rocket
Need all my wheels to feel, now its heel to heel
Orange is the word that mixes well with porrage
Porrage stays good in storage unlike an orange
Question the suggestion of a new auto selection
Running and walking without the radio theres more talking
Service stations fuel the imagination
Time slips by in the wink of an eye
Under the weather convertables arnt better
Vast spaces traced in the unknown race
Watching life through layers of sand
X-ray vision lights at hand
Yellow dot marks the spot of caution
Zenieth and zorrow were standing on the Yellow
and thats how i crashed my ABCs
next time wont you please
GET THE **** OFF THE ROAD for me
Dec 17, 2011
Dec 17, 2011 at 10:55 AM UTC
darkness can come over us at any time, when we least expect it
turns our day into night, my darkness hides monsters, they are faceless
and yet each one,has my face, a face of mistakes
each bloodsoaked line, tells its own story
a grain of sand in a lifetime, of blood guts, and glory
a page in a book, a look into someones life
a good read, or a reason to hide, float away on the tide
i watch people, not people like me, there arnt any
just regular mr and mrs smith
i watch them shop, chat, buy, sell, argue,
i watch them watch me, i wonder do we all just watch each other
do sisters watch brothers, sons and daughters,
fathers and mothers, we all watch the clock, tick tock
time running out, death getting closer,life going out
people rush to get somewhere, rush to get back
sit for 5 mins and think about rushing, for this and that
not taking time to chat, laugh, or nap
no time to rest, just headless chickins
searching for slim pickings, life has to offer
sheep that bleet, waiting to be meat, on some fat ******** table
stuffing it in, relaying some useless fable
to guests that have requests, to be entertained
wine and dine, pass the time, like fat swines
feeding and breeding, living to eat, to consume
we are nothing, nothing that matters anyway
we just eat, bulshit, die, and fade away
we are here for a short stay, in this coffin life
living in stone tombs, for a price
noyone cares, noyone is nice, we are all rats and mice
kids and a wife
a sharp knife, to cut my own throat
bleed me dry, make me cry
leave this life, its not nice,
daytime fading, darkness waiting, life escaping
i dont care, nothing left here for me anymore
i am sick of being life,s *****
cant do it , feel sick, cant look in the mirror, to face myself
i am a blank expression,
eyes cloud over, time has run out, i am free, dont cry for me
i am finally where i need to be,
alone, in the ground, not a sound,
cold, old, no more storys to be told
just darknesss
Jun 6, 2014
Jun 6, 2014 at 6:05 AM UTC
Is this principle ? This palace ?
Progress seeking an empty room
Solace sounds like splinters - alone
Piercing the skin/ the ears/ examples
Forgiven in a girl of blood that is not
Belonging, validated, uncarven and noteing calories
You arnt who you had planned to be
Why cant i stop loving an idea
Now , for once , wont you call me
My own name, she wont be sad to see
Us die. A useless thing or a commodity
Im only as good as i try
Release , fiends onto me
Im used to it- ravaged ***** humans
Believe / believe in ....
Badly bruisen humans
Believe me / believe in
Broken burning buildings
Believe me / its worth it
We are flowers among the ruins
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 6:26 AM UTC
Free-Write 12
What's up with this feeling?
This unfamiliar feeling, dealing blows to my core
Bass shaking up the ceiling
I tremble with each quake trying to find stable ground
But struggle to find it, see I don't make a sound
The building is collasping and my mind gets to racing,
chasing an idea I haven't yet schemed up
yet another vivid scenero I've just so happened to dream up
a place where every thought and idea seems to fall and become debris around me
and my heartbeat emerges and lashes out wildly
as if to get my attention but I try hard not to listen
because my hearts desires arnt always morally acceptable
at least by my mind standards
You see I fear that emotion can drive us crazy
So I conceal apart of me because I couldn't seem to find a balance
And plus I'm tryna stay focused but it's strange without guidence
And at times when things don't happen to make sense
And the pressure gets too intense it happens to breakfree and dispense the nonsense that I've refused to hear into my consciousness.
Therefore I ask myself, what is this?
Why do I think when I must act?
I understand a need for caution
but maybe a leap of faith is a far better option
You've gone this far, don't hesitate, take action
If you fail, well good
Because if you hadn't how else would you have knew
I swear to you in time you will improve
Because in life there are things you must do
But you won't be able to if you can't prove
That when the oppurtunity shows, you will ensue.
Feb 16, 2012
Feb 16, 2012 at 10:29 AM UTC
The bay sometimes after the rain clears can
Make you smile.Then will you be able to hear my cities cry
To be named the city of destiny. My city cries out Tacoma Washington
Pierce county area code two five three. My city says you and I are
Irish, russian, polish,and spanish.
My city says you and i are homosexual,
bisexual, transexual, lesbian, straight and perhaps homeless.
My city often lets
You watch us wear our costumes. our rain jackets are costumes,
Some are black, some are white, and some have knitted desighns of children
running home after school gets out. stitched on their back is a book about what destiny means. English isnt the only language. In the thick pages my city tells them to rise up against intolerant people, to rise in love and hope that maybe you a stranger to my city understands a few principles my city believes in. But we arnt strangers because you probably live in my city. Or I dwell in yours as a proud individual dwells. If we be strangers then let me take you through my city. Ill put my arm around your wet shoulder and share my coat with whoever you want to be in our city of destiny.
Oct 18, 2013
Oct 18, 2013 at 1:55 AM UTC
Acumen lens, you shudder, and panting ensues
Inglorious vault of confided delusions
That opens again as wounds, gleaming death beams
On wrists and hearts a bruise, chemically indoctrinated
By the sway of the way that she moves
Heathen goddess, mourned through nights
Just passing by, all the avenues, of this dauntless brain
Beat my drums with your fiery fists, frail and bone bare
Yet, they never once have missed
Until your heels cascade down my tongues unrolling train
I will not breathe again
Apr 9, 2017
Apr 9, 2017 at 1:26 AM UTC
You cant sweep your kids under the rug.
You cant push us aside and go drinking.
After all,
You made us.
It was your night of fun, wrether intentional or not that made us.
You cant ignore us
We need you.
As much as your work ****** you off
You cant take it out on us.
Why do you think we are so against you?
Or better yet
What did you do to make us that way.
Because we...well i dont hate for no reason.
i always have a reason
Why do you hit us,
You know you wouldnt like to be hit.
Why are you so angry
I know....life *****
But your kids will find out eventually, no need to make them learn now.
You cant butter us up
Because we arnt dumb.
Parents
Love the kids.
You made em
So love em.
Dont leave them in the dark
Because it hurts.
Dont. Leave us
Jul 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016 at 11:38 AM UTC
Lets pretend we are happy.
The golden sun rays are bouncing off the sidewalks
the children are playing hopscotch on those side walks,
carrying red balloons in their laughter and brightly coloured rainbows are painted across their faces.
Lets pretend the weather isn't changing.
lets pretend it isn't raining
lets pretend, the cold raindrops are not seeping into the cracks in the sidewalks and the hooded men, are just passing by..
lets pretend that seasons change
and the cold glances I get from the neighbours barred windows are only temporary
lets pretend that babies are not born everyday
lets pretend the do not have to carve themselves out into a world full of wishful thinking
and the amount of sun in their skin
determines their fortune
lets pretend we arnt the ones carving that future into them
lets pretend that bodies dont walk for miles and miles bounded in chains
lets pretend bodies were not trained to be targets for dogs
lets pretend bodies don't hang, bodies don't float bodies
don't die in vain
lets pretend its all forgotten
no stories told
no lessons learnt
just a casual poem.
Nov 1, 2019
Nov 1, 2019 at 5:19 PM UTC