I grow my hair long
color it brown or green
I am me

I log on, stream
put on my headphones
I am me

I face my phone
with endless YouTubes
I am me

I am happy being alone
I ignore you
I am me

I have a big tummy
I'm lucky
I am me

I have a squint
Doesn't really bother me
I am me

I'm OK
I'm really OK
Trust me

I am me.
I am free.

you and me not being together,
all the tears
and drunk messages;
you leaving me
and the way your lips
touched hers last week
(you don't know that i know,
but i do);

the fact that i would give you
another chance,
yet you won't ask for it;
craving your kisses, your perfume, your eyes,
your jokes, your compliments,
your messy hair,
your voice whispering
"i can't believe you're here";

getting sick over my broken heart,
knowing i don't have the right
to kiss you ever again
and that you won't sing
love songs to me
anymore

i don't like those things,
i don't, god, not at all,
but i still like you
and i don't know
how to move on

it isn't until you let go
that you notice the blood
dropping from your palms
it isn't until you look down
that you notice how close
you are to the bottom
it isn't until I distanced myself
that I realized you were
slowly killing me

My love, my words tonight are weak yet ablaze
My emotions are trapped and lost in a maze
But my heart beats recalling yours, and I am fainting under your grace
This space between your tender arms is by far my favorite place

Do you know how your kisses are fresh and new-born roses?
Touched by the drizzle in a February dawn
Do you know how your voice sounds as though a lyre rises
Do you know how your hair is sparkling to reflect a lovely fawn?

My love, I have sunk my soul in the swell of your sight
And your hands wrapped tightly around my waist is such a delight
That cuddled so close to you, this poetry becomes breathtaking
And my heart releases for you this passionate flow, gushing.

Angel, over the hills and far away I wish you could return to me
Allow me to hearten and heal you with my melody
Oh, on your stars are engraved this memory of us, fascinating canopy
My love, each time I am staring at the obsidian sky you are shining endlessly ...


June 2012

The moisture will evaporate
Clouds will form
The rain will pour
the sun will come out.

Night will turn to day
Day to night
Over and over
And over again

The earth will continue to spin
Rotate
Orbit
The ball will drop at the start of a new year
Lovers will kiss
Friends will celebrate

Music will sound just as sweet
As the band marches on
Left foot, right foot, repeat.

An empty matress under a frame
Lights that no longer glow
Strings that haven't been plucked in ages

A plant with no water
No sun
No hope for growth

I can love you & hate you,
All at the very same time,
I can need & yet reject you,
I’m balancing on the borderline.

I can blame you & bad mouth you,
I can make you feel, I don’t care,
If only I could explain to you
How much I need you there.

I’m balancing on the borderline
With no safety net below
I’m like a ticking time bomb
Not knowing when I might blow.

I’m loving & argumentative
I’m cruel & yet I’m kind
I’m childish & mature
I’m balancing on the borderline.

I can chop & change my mind
Quicker than the weather
I’m like a mound of clay
You can mould me into whatever.

Take my life into your hands
I’ll let you create what I should be
I’ll be whatever you want
Just please don’t leave me be.

The wine I'm drinking isn't strong enough
To dissolve the bitter taste you left in my mouth
No amount of liquor I consume
Could ever be as intoxicating as you
Then as I lie alone in bed
With tears as my only company
I try to hate the fact that I loved you
The fabric conditioner I use
Has long since erased your cologne
And I'm grateful of that, I think.

The wine I'm drinking isn't strong enough
To dissolve the bitter taste you left in my mouth
But I still have another bottle.