Dear the Old Me,
You're depressed
Why don't you seek help
You're afraid
You still in primary school
You have no idea
What depression even is
Or that its even a word
At this stage your 9 years old
And your depressed
You just don't really know it yet
You can't explain why your sad most days
Why you cry in your room everyday
Why you always hide under the bed
Hiding away from the world
Let's go forward to year 8
Your at intermediate
You've discovered depression
What it is
It explains everything
Things were worst than ever last year
You were alone
Scared
Depressed
Cried every single day
Felt unwanted
Year 9
You've started self harming yourself
It takes away the pain
Just a little bit
Helps you focus on something else
Just for a little while
Takes the weight off
Just for a little while
You want to die
You've almost gone through with it
Many many times
But you're scared
Put the scissors down
Put the string down
Put the knife down
It's going to be okay
Year 10
You're getting there ***
Things are getting better sweets
Trust me
You're getting better
Slowly
Painfully
Year 11
You're getting bullied
Being told your fake
Ugly
*****
****
But it's okay
You have people there for you this time
To support you
You couldn't be happier
You've met a guy
That you've never really noticed before
He's better than the rest
Witty, kind, quiet, intreging
Your childhood best friend is with you
She's right by your side too
Year 12
This guy now means the world to you
Your best friend and you are closer than ever
She's more your sister now
Things are okay
Average
You're getting bullied
It's starting again
*****, ****, fake
You get to school and your friend doesn't notice
How broken you are
Your best friend can tell right away
You can't stand it you breakdown
Go to class
That guy grabs your arm
Pulls you aside away from the terrors
Asks you what's wrong
You cry right in front of him
He doesn't mind at all
He pulls you close to him
Against his chest
Your making his shoulder wet with your tears
He doesn't mind
He looks after you all day
Keeping a close eye on you
You realise that day who your real friends are
Next day you get threatened
Your scared
He tells you he'll protect you
He does
He keeps you safe
Right now your 16
Have the best friend ever
Best guy in the world to protect you
Best friends ever
Happy family
And great things
Dear the Old Me
Things do get better
Way better
Hang in there love

Sitting watching
the play today
Things seemed
Almost
Perfect

A good friend on my right
Laughing her silly laugh
Pulling faces
Leaning against me
Laughing uncontrollably
Loud and high pitched

Him
On my left
Sitting as close as possible
Feeling his breath on my arm
Ice cold fingers
Piercing my skin
Leg pressed against mine
Hearing his soft laughter in my ear
And his stupidly funny
Witty comments

Sitting
Laughing
Watching
Peacefully
With some of my
Favourite people
Surrounding me
Together
In harmony
Enjoying the show

What even is it?
Is it a perfect smile
Long golden hair
Blue eyes with long eyelashes
Tan skin
Perfect figure
Big ****
Big *****
Clear skin
Pale skin?

That stuffs all *******
What's a beautiful face
Without a beautiful soul
An ugly personality
And dark soul
Destroys that beautiful face
It means nothing anymore

Beauty comes from within
Stop straining yourself
To look a certain way
You are you
God made you who you are
For a reason
Love yourself
Be confident

What if
What if one day
You forget me
You forget all the memories
We shared

What if
What if one day
I change my mind
I don't want to be
This person I've become
Anymore?

What if one day
Were no longer friends
No longer talk
No longer spend the days together

What if one day
You forget what we have
You forget my touch
My voice

What if one day
I lose my memory
And forget all of this
All of you
All of my best friend
All of your smile
Oh how I hope I don't

What if....

The way you lean in
Close to me
To whisper something
In my ear
To make me laugh
To make me smile

The way you sit a little closer
When it gets too cold
And your fingers
Ice cold
Burning against my skin
You smile
That stupid
Crooked smile
And tickle me
With your wit

The way you grab my arm
When I'm on the verge of tears
Pull me away
From the torture of today
To ask me what's wrong
And pull me in close to you
Arms tightly around me
Not caring how wet
Your shoulder is getting

The way you message me
Good morning
Just to check on me
Because its been a day
Since we've talked
And you can't bear to wait

The way your chest feels against mine
Hearts beating together
Your arms tightly round my waist
As I'm lifted and swung around

The way I go to pull away
And you pull me back
Closer to your chest
Arms tighter
Because one hug wasn't enough

The way I feel protected
Whenever your around
Because you've always told me
You'd always keep me safe

Do you ever just sit there
In your living room
Drinking hot chocolate
And listening to the rain fall on the tin roof?

Do you ever just look at him
And think
Man I'm so lucky
I don't know how I deserve you
But oh how I'm thankful

Do you ever just look at your family
And one minute
You hate them
But you really can't
You can't hold anything against them
You really just love them

Do you ever just flick through photographs
Reliving those memories
The laughter
The tears
The regrets
The magical moments

Do you ever just sit there
And think
Man life is pretty **** good
Your grateful
Thankful
Its all working out
Just the simple things

I have this guy
He's not exactly just a friend
Not exactly a boyfriend either
He means heaps to me
Just all of a sudden
I always said to myself
I'd never fall into that trap
The trap of caring so much for one person
That if anything ever happened to them
It would **** you eternally
But this ones different
He cares for me more than anyone ever has
He's kinder to me than anyone's ever been
And supports me more than anyone ever has
With him things are different
With him nothing else seems to matter
Because I finally feel
Accepted, Protected, Cared for, looked after
Safe