I woke up positive and happy
I go about my day, smiling :)
Then I see you in the crowd
And all the rejection comes flooding back :(

Yesterday was filled with pain,
Yesterday saw so many laughs.
      Today I say goodbye,
      Today I close the door.
            Tomorrow is new,
            Tomorrow I start again!

You were odd
Big bloke with a big beard
Eye tattoo on your neck

You smell of ***** and smoke
You made me laugh
You were my friend

Today I sit alone
Looking at the unread message on my phone
The one you never saw

I wish I could’ve said goodbye
But time ran out too fast
Faster than your angel could fly

Another one taken too soon
Cancer claims another soul
Dust to dust, forever in my heart.

There is a war happening
Which side is the right/wrong?
How do I stop the war
Before my head explodes!

You are so young and beautiful
I feel so old and tired
You pick me up in your arms
And suddenly I forget my age :)

today life feel so broken..
i just want to die please
but i cannot...
for the son and grankids
i leave behind...
i have no choice but to live

The darkest days...
     The darkest hours...
          Wish I can die in a corner...
                but the world is waiting for your smile?

death is never an option...
too many responsibilities
and too many people
relying on you.

for the longest part of my life
my mother said she would be "better off dead"
for the longest part of my life
i had to hear, "if you dont do what i say i might as well be dead"
for the longest part of my life
i heard "you will miss me when I'm dead"
for the longest part of my life
i was blackmailed, emotionally.

One cannot make a person want to live.
One cannot make a person except what they have done.
One cannot take the blame, if you are only a little child.

I love to wake up and see you
I love to wake up and hear you

Your smell in my hair
Your taste on my tongue

I want to spend every day near you
Sunrises and sunsets are the best

But, I hate the feel of the sand on my body
I sunburn too quickly
I am not a strong swimmer

This is my sad love affair with the ocean!

The ring on your finger,
       means you belong to another
Yet your heart,
       seem to have found it's own destination
How long will it be,
         before these two worlds come crashing down?

As another salty tear falls from my eye
The memory of you so clear

So many moons has passed since I’ve seen you
Yet I never dreamt you would leave this world

You touched my heart with your kindness
You touched my soul with your courage

And now on this day, your bornday
My eyes cannot stop weeping.

Love is a pretty word, it makes us feel good
But… who is there when we break down …
What is there when life is hard…
Love is full of hearts…but it’s all on paper or emoji….when you lay alone..there is no love…regardless of what you give

Bleeding heart
Rotting soul

Torn apart
Eaten by the wild

Storms raging
Death and destruction

I cannot have you in my life
Without you I cannot live

My world is shattered
You tore it apart

You are destruction
Or could it be me?

Now that I felt your lips on mine,
The passion in your kiss,
I can never go back,
I can never kiss another
for you have spoilt me.
I will never kiss again :(

I feel I have no life
I guess I  have no passion
My dark secrets hidden

Spending my time drinking
Spending my time dreaming
My secret dreams about you

And sometimes, just sometimes
You come along with a smile
A secret smile only I can see

Then I spent my time dreaming
Dreaming  the things, that will never happen
The secret love we share.

When I look into your eyes,
I see so much love
I see so much sorrow
Maybe I see annoyance with me

When I look at your lips
They look so kissable
They look so vulnerable
Maybe you just don’t want to kiss me

When I listen to your words
They sound so tender and true
They sound so distancing
Maybe I just hear what I would like to hear

Maybe, it’s time to walk away
Maybe, it’s all too hard
Maybe, but what if….

The days are all the same
Ending in ...day
The nights are all the same
…sleepless

Round and round we go
In never ending circles
Of me starving my soul
And you becoming more powerful

How to exit this merry-go-round
How to exit this world
A new world there must be
With laughter and colour

Alone I have to jump
This wheel that turns non stop
Alone I have to find the better world
The world that I deserve.

My world is broken
My life is blue

I look to you
But you do not see

But when, you choose
To be not here

I wonder  if you are lost
Or cannot see me

Or maybe you don’t care
As I lay my soul to bare.

The knife
Cuts deep into my heart
I lay there, bleeding,
Now that we are apart
How could you
Just walk away
I screamed
For you to stay
My heart will bleed
Forever more
For its only you
That I desperately need.

Remembering you....is the hardest thing to do....cause it breaks my heart in two.

I picked up my phone, typed you a txt
Of what is happening now, then I remembered
I can’t contact you anymore.

I picked up the phone, so very excited
To tell you the good news, then I remembered
I can’t call you anymore.

I felt terribly sad, and wanted to get in touch
To tell you my world is falling apart, then I remembered
You are not there anymore

How could I forget, but I did…
"Don’t forget to remember me",
Is what I said to you that night
But its too late…you forgot.

You forgot about me.

The tears are warm as they roll down my cheeks
The thought of you still fresh in my memory
The smell of your aftershave still very clear
The thought of letting you go is tearing me apart.

You come into my life like a ray of sunshine
When the clouds were dark and the storm raging
You made me smile without even talking
When I saw nothing but darkness and despair

You were in your own dark place at the time
You said some days were blue some days are black
Yet you took my darkness away and made me smile
Now my life is broken because I have to say goodbye.

Raven black hair falling  over slender shoulders
Ice blue eyes, surrounded by a perfect porcelain skin.

Large round soft ******* on a perfectly shaped body
Buttocks and legs, the most perfect creation.

A skull with empty eye sockets and big teeth
The skeletal bones, all connected to perfection

The spine, holding every single bone in place
It is a perfect masterpiece.

Nobody ever see this masterpiece
Or appreciate the importance it has

It holds the perfect blue eyes and body in place
Without the skeleton, we will be nothing.

The guy with the beautiful eyes that look into my soul
The guy with the amazing body that drives me crazy
The guy that always makes me laughs
The guy that sends me a message every day to see how I am
The guy that knows when I’m sad and offer to wipe away the tears
Maybe the one with the strong arms that caught me when I slipped
The one I can share my secrets with or the one that makes me cry or take my dreams away.
Which is the right one?  Will I ever know?