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May 2021 · 73
for the longest part
JD May 2021
for the longest part of my life
my mother said she would be "better off dead"
for the longest part of my life
i had to hear, "if you dont do what i say i might as well be dead"
for the longest part of my life
i heard "you will miss me when I'm dead"
for the longest part of my life
i was blackmailed, emotionally.

One cannot make a person want to live.
One cannot make a person except what they have done.
One cannot take the blame, if you are only a little child.
my earliest memory of "keeping things safe" by agreeing to mum ultimatums...I was maybe around 6.
Feb 2021 · 114
Honesty
JD Feb 2021
I bared my heart and soul to you and you embraced my honesty.

You said it's a quality you love
but was not ready for the words you heard.
Everyone wants honesty but sometimes they cannot handle the truth.
Feb 2021 · 249
For you
JD Feb 2021
For you, I will travel the galaxy.
For you, I will swim the ocean.
For you, I will break every rule.
For you, I’m nothing but a friend.
Dec 2020 · 164
Fishing rod
JD Dec 2020
You reel me in, pluck me out of waters,
see how I struggle for air.
The triumph is written on your face,
then with force, back in the water I go.

I circle slowly, just to be sure
then I swim for my life,
It is too late, as I'm still hooked
Again, you slowly reel me back in.
Invisible fishing rods is how some people keep us in their lives.  Sometimes they let us go and sometimes they just continue to play the same games of catch and release.
Dec 2020 · 111
Distance
JD Dec 2020
Your eyes don't want to see me
Your arms can't hold me tight
Your lips won't kiss me

Was it me who drifted away?
Was it you who moved on?
Was it just time and came between us?
Sadly, we drift apart from loved ones.
Nov 2020 · 236
You are my colours
JD Nov 2020
Sometimes my world is black
and sometimes it's blue.

Sometimes my world turn bright
and that's because of you.
Some people have the ability to change your day with a simple word or smile
Nov 2020 · 467
Secrets
JD Nov 2020
Some secrets are meant to be broken,
to save another.
Some secrets are dark and destructive,
and we need to heal.
Some secrets are meant to be kept secret,
as they are to deep to share.
We cannot always say how we feel so we have to keep that love forever in our hearts.
Nov 2020 · 250
Hearts destination
JD Nov 2020
The ring on your finger,
       means you belong to another
Yet your heart,
       seem to have found it's own destination
How long will it be,
         before these two worlds come crashing down?
Oct 2020 · 54
Forgetting is easier
JD Oct 2020
Remembering you....is the hardest thing to do....cause it breaks my heart in two.
Aug 2020 · 124
A funny thing
JD Aug 2020
It's funny how I can not have you in my life
Yet, I cannot live  without you...
Aug 2020 · 67
Circles
JD Aug 2020
Round and perfect
We go around in circles
We draw circles in the sand
Your arms around me
A circle of love
Jul 2020 · 324
Gunney
JD Jul 2020
You were odd
Big bloke with a big beard
Eye tattoo on your neck

You smell of ***** and smoke
You made me laugh
You were my friend

Today I sit alone
Looking at the unread message on my phone
The one you never saw

I wish I could’ve said goodbye
But time ran out too fast
Faster than your angel could fly

Another one taken too soon
Cancer claims another soul
Dust to dust, forever in my heart.
Love the people in your life.  They may not be there tomorrow!
Jul 2020 · 348
Destruction
JD Jul 2020
Bleeding heart
Rotting soul

Torn apart
Eaten by the wild

Storms raging
Death and destruction

I cannot have you in my life
Without you I cannot live

My world is shattered
You tore it apart

You are destruction
Or could it be me?
Jul 2020 · 46
Another place
JD Jul 2020
For years I’ve looked at those eyes and lips with longing
I’ve wondered what it would be like waking next to you
Our bodies pressed together, my hand on your hart
For so many years I went unnoticed
Until one rainy day.
For a brief moment I have felt those lips upon my own
I have seen those eyes look into my soul
That moment lasted the shortest of time
But it will be a lifetime of memories
Maybe we could have been
Another place,  another time.
Jul 2020 · 49
My promise
JD Jul 2020
I can never be as pretty as her
I might never be as perfect as she is
But I shall love you more than she ever will.
Jul 2020 · 56
Human vs Machine
JD Jul 2020
Warm body
Cold machine
Strong mind
Powerful engine
One offers love and affection
The other demands it all
Never a competition
Yet someone always lose.
Jun 2020 · 288
Peas in a pod
JD Jun 2020
Peas in a pod
Is what we are
But the universe
Got it wrong
The wrong pea
Went into the wrong pod
Jun 2020 · 86
A broken soul
JD Jun 2020
My world is broken
My life is blue

I look to you
But you do not see

But when, you choose
To be not here

I wonder  if you are lost
Or cannot see me

Or maybe you don’t care
As I lay my soul to bare.
Jun 2020 · 65
Johannes
JD Jun 2020
When life is broken
And you think it cannot break anymore
It does

The people you love
Are badly hurt
Due to the actions of others

You call out to the universe
Asking  for a break
You get a little drunk

You hope it will help ease the pain
But at the end of the day
Broken is just broken

Everything else is the glue holding it together
But the cracks is there
And broken just stay broken.
My dearest friend is in hospital, leg amputated, fighting for life, riding his motorcycle, not breaking the rules, but the other person did not pay attention :(
Jun 2020 · 136
Bleeding heart
JD Jun 2020
The knife
Cuts deep into my heart
I lay there, bleeding,
Now that we are apart
How could you
Just walk away
I screamed
For you to stay
My heart will bleed
Forever more
For its only you
That I desperately need.
May 2020 · 103
Scars
JD May 2020
I cry alone
I dig into my hands

Fingernails long
Hands bleeding…

You are never there
Alone I lay and bleed

I’m being judged
by you, by the world

For the scars that you can see
And the ones you don't.
May 2020 · 64
It's nature
JD May 2020
An avalanche of tears
Streaming down her cheeks.

A  winter storm raging
Within her heart.

A burnt out field
Her soul feels like

After the snow melts
The storm calms

The grass start to grow
Her  life will go on.
May 2020 · 66
Merry-go-round
JD May 2020
The days are all the same
Ending in ...day
The nights are all the same
…sleepless

Round and round we go
In never ending circles
Of me starving my soul
And you becoming more powerful

How to exit this merry-go-round
How to exit this world
A new world there must be
With laughter and colour

Alone I have to jump
This wheel that turns non stop
Alone I have to find the better world
The world that I deserve.
May 2020 · 52
You #3
JD May 2020
F-you…with that smile
Those lips those eyes

The passion you offered
The desires you stirred in me

You walked into my life
You walked thru my life

You devoured me
You destroyed my morals

You left me longing for more
Then you  walked away

***** you, ***** your smile
I will rebuild my morals

I will rebuild my heart and soul
And you will be the loser!
May 2020 · 105
You #2
JD May 2020
The black skies
Bring out the dark moods
Then you smile
And my life is full of sunshine.
May 2020 · 938
You
JD May 2020
You
Your beautiful face
Suddenly appeared in the crowd
And within in millisecond
My sad face blossomed
May 2020 · 274
Geoffrey
JD May 2020
As another salty tear falls from my eye
The memory of you so clear

So many moons has passed since I’ve seen you
Yet I never dreamt you would leave this world

You touched my heart with your kindness
You touched my soul with your courage

And now on this day, your bornday
My eyes cannot stop weeping.
In memory of my late friend/employer and someone that made the world a better place
May 2020 · 92
Secrets
JD May 2020
I feel I have no life
I guess I  have no passion
My dark secrets hidden

Spending my time drinking
Spending my time dreaming
My secret dreams about you

And sometimes, just sometimes
You come along with a smile
A secret smile only I can see

Then I spent my time dreaming
Dreaming  the things, that will never happen
The secret love we share.
Sometimes the best moments in life are the ones we cannot share with anyone.
May 2020 · 53
Just adore me
JD May 2020
I realise, that I longed to be touched, to be kissed.  
I longed to be adored, to be the only one.  
I long for passion, to be pushed up against a wall and kissed till I can breathe no more.
I long for passion, for hours of *******.
I long to be touched and loved but mostly,
I just want to be adored.
Apr 2020 · 84
The empty bottle
JD Apr 2020
It’dark!
Where am I?
What happened
My head hurts

I’m awake and I can see
The explanation is clear
Empty bottles on the floor
My head hurts.
Sometimes the headache is worth it, but mostly not!
Apr 2020 · 62
Isolating and Repairing
JD Apr 2020
We are isolating from our friends and family
We are alone at times with only our thought

We hate being told what to do
We hate that we cannot go out

The world is broken
The world is ending


The world is repairing
The world needs to mend

Waterways are clearer
The sunsets are more colourful

The grass and flowers have more colour
The animals are coming out of hiding

What we conceive as bad times
The earth are celebrating and repairing
Apr 2020 · 133
untitled (written by ABC)
JD Apr 2020
Put your hand upon your heart ,
and I'll be there when we are apart

Close your eyes and think of me,
to let your troubled mind be free

And think about the love we share,
to remind you that I really care

Your eyes can take me far away,
to a special place I'd love to stay

Your beauty I will always know,
Oh, Princess I do love you so.
This poem was not written by me, it was written for me...a very long time ago by someone special.
Apr 2020 · 141
I will never love
JD Apr 2020
I will never love,
As I once loved before.

I will never smile,
As I smiled the day I met you.

I will never hate,
As I once hated them.

I will never cry,
As much as the day you died.
Apr 2020 · 1.3k
A sad love affair
JD Apr 2020
I love to wake up and see you
I love to wake up and hear you

Your smell in my hair
Your taste on my tongue

I want to spend every day near you
Sunrises and sunsets are the best

But, I hate the feel of the sand on my body
I sunburn too quickly
I am not a strong swimmer

This is my sad love affair with the ocean!
My sad love affair
Apr 2020 · 55
Is he the one?
JD Apr 2020
The guy with the beautiful eyes that look into my soul
The guy with the amazing body that drives me crazy
The guy that always makes me laughs
The guy that sends me a message every day to see how I am
The guy that knows when I’m sad and offer to wipe away the tears
Maybe the one with the strong arms that caught me when I slipped
The one I can share my secrets with or the one that makes me cry or take my dreams away.
Which is the right one?  Will I ever know?
Apr 2020 · 177
Individuals
JD Apr 2020
I feel the cold
I see the dark
I feel alone with nobody around

You feel the heat
You see the sun
You are surrounded by people

I am black
You are white
I am darkness
You are light

Different we are, yet it works
Difficult to explain but easy to understand
ACCEPT, TOLERATE, COMPASSION
We can make a difference in the world.
Apr 2020 · 831
Life
JD Apr 2020
Life is hard
Life is painful
You go to bed hungry
You go to bed in tears

People stab you in the back
People lie
You use people
You get used by people

But the sun shines
The rain fall
You smiled at me
My heart is full

Life is not always that bad.
Apr 2020 · 82
You forgot
JD Apr 2020
I picked up my phone, typed you a txt
Of what is happening now, then I remembered
I can’t contact you anymore.

I picked up the phone, so very excited
To tell you the good news, then I remembered
I can’t call you anymore.

I felt terribly sad, and wanted to get in touch
To tell you my world is falling apart, then I remembered
You are not there anymore

How could I forget, but I did…
"Don’t forget to remember me",
Is what I said to you that night
But its too late…you forgot.

You forgot about me.
Apr 2020 · 103
What if
JD Apr 2020
When I look into your eyes,
I see so much love
I see so much sorrow
Maybe I see annoyance with me

When I look at your lips
They look so kissable
They look so vulnerable
Maybe you just don’t want to kiss me

When I listen to your words
They sound so tender and true
They sound so distancing
Maybe I just hear what I would like to hear

Maybe, it’s time to walk away
Maybe, it’s all too hard
Maybe, but what if….
Apr 2020 · 74
Goodbye
JD Apr 2020
The tears are warm as they roll down my cheeks
The thought of you still fresh in my memory
The smell of your aftershave still very clear
The thought of letting you go is tearing me apart.

You come into my life like a ray of sunshine
When the clouds were dark and the storm raging
You made me smile without even talking
When I saw nothing but darkness and despair

You were in your own dark place at the time
You said some days were blue some days are black
Yet you took my darkness away and made me smile
Now my life is broken because I have to say goodbye.
Apr 2020 · 70
The Skeleton
JD Apr 2020
Raven black hair falling  over slender shoulders
Ice blue eyes, surrounded by a perfect porcelain skin.

Large round soft ******* on a perfectly shaped body
Buttocks and legs, the most perfect creation.

A skull with empty eye sockets and big teeth
The skeletal bones, all connected to perfection

The spine, holding every single bone in place
It is a perfect masterpiece.

Nobody ever see this masterpiece
Or appreciate the importance it has

It holds the perfect blue eyes and body in place
Without the skeleton, we will be nothing.
Apr 2020 · 83
You Won't
JD Apr 2020
You won't talk to me
You won't look at me
You won't touch me…

I remember the  night you touched me
The way you looked at me
The words you said to me

The world exploded
My universe shifted
I wonder if it was the same for you
Maybe that is why

You don’t want to look at me
Your don’t want to talk to me
And you don’t want to touch me,
Because your universe shifted too
Apr 2020 · 79
Destruction
JD Apr 2020
Our minds get bored from not being challenged
Our bodies get tired from not being touched
Our souls die slowly from over exposure
Our hearts bleed from being ripped apart.

— The End —