If I told you I love you, that I care for you, maybe even desire you... would you have me arrested?

Does everyone come to realize that life is just a terminal illness?

There must be others going through what I'm going through.
This an attempt at conversation with those who feel as I do.

I live a life so empty and always on my own.
It seems so short of reality to describe it as alone.

The days are endless cycles that fade and become as one.
Looking to find some distinction when basically there's none.

Emptiness and lonely just doesn't tell it right.
And to say its isolation really doesn't describe my plight.

A world devoid of relationships of any type or kind.
Has left me with distorted disposition and an overactive mind.

I find days, weeks, months and calendars obsolescent things.
A consequence of every day repetitive in everything it brings.

I don't know how to stop it defeating me in this way.
For when I try to fight it all motivation drains away.

My life seems forever lived in the deepest sense of sorrow.
Knowing what I did yesterday and today, I do again tomorrow.

My life continues to end at seventy beats per minute.

I provided you the key to my destruction when I told you that I loved you.
Too late I saw your betrayal with my eyes so blinded to the beauty of your "truths".
Knowingly and willfully betrayal ever your intended game and love the Trojan Horse you used.
With malice and intent you brought me down whilst whispering lies of love still to my heart.
Not contented or completed in the devastation you continued to yet say you loved me too.
Honey coated blindness to the actions and the deeds of your true purpose.
A greater evil I have never known and am sure no greater could exist.
With intent to destroy an other's heart as if it were a game... no greater evil have I known... than for you to knowingly use my love for you... as the weapon for my annihilation.

Its only those you trust with the keys who can destroy your soul.
Everyone who broke your heart you gave that power to.

I tried to be what I am meant to be.
The shape the world tells me by shout.
And no matter how I fight at getting in.
My thoughts are turned back to getting out.

Did you see me fighting demons?
Did you note I'd left your space?
Do you know the wounds I took?
Or had I left you with no sign or trace?

Do you know the demon "black dog"?
Does it wait outside your gate?
Do you have strategies to fight back?
Or do you let the "black dog" decide your fate?

For now I keep the dog at bay
In early days it visited so much more
And though I am still winning right now
The dog seems so much stronger than before.

I don't think that deadly "black dog",
will ever allow me to get back in.
But each day I have the courage to chase it off,
I need to believe there is some reason for me to win.

It knows my thoughts and uses them against me.
And I know I will need to fight on so many days ahead.
I cant see a time when the dog will call on me no more.
But if I stop the fight ... the "black dog" will make me dead.