I am changing
I am growing
I am learning
I am knowing
I am doing my best
To be my best

I am resting
I am working
I am focused
I am earning
I am doing my constant
To be my constant

I am scared
I am effecting
I am worried
I am reflecting
I am doing my understanding
To be my understanding

The sun beam strikes your face
As you squint at the light rays
Yet your eyes seem to have a star line
Very soft, gentle, and sweet
Yet stern, sharp, and deep
I cannot seem to leave your gaze
Maybe I should accept my faith
And make you wonder what’s on my mind

Not everything is ok
Not even close to ok
I didn’t get the thing I wanted the most
And that makes me feel unk
That makes me feel heartbroken and crushed
And a little bit tired
I really wanted this
But it didn’t happen
And what’s worse
Is that I can’t imagine my life without this thing
And that is not ok
But yet deep inside of me
I have a little just a little faith
Ik that god is watching
And he knows that for me it’s not ok
But it will be ok
In fact it is ok right now
At this very second
Bc this thing was not ok for me
Nor I was ok for it
And so god knows
What is ok and what is not
And hence thinking about that
Just the fact that god
Sees, listens, and knows
What is ok for me
And has already written
What is meant to be ok to me
Makes me feel ok

Losing a lover is a bullet to the heart
Losing a friend causes many tear drops
Losing a fight can be a painful lesson
while others say its a painful blessing
Losing everything can be a concern
but losing your soul is unending burn

Believe in yourself
You got nothing to lose
Just hold your head up high
It all depends on you

We are strangers
Not knowing who we are

But I would love to meet you someday
And travel every near and far

I would like to think you’re out there
Gazing at the crystal light star

Wondering who I am
The girl you thought of for so long

Whenever you feel your mind stress
A simple sip of green tea will do the trick

Sometimes I take the ease
And turn it into a battle field

Ignoring the blessings I got
Just wanting what I want

Building walls up high
Between my happiness and I

Keep thinking about tomorrow
Daggers filled with grieve and sorrow

Why can’t I just turn my head around
And enjoy life for what it is now

Speaking is a sign of weakness
Silence is a sign of weakness

Running is a sign of weakness
Staying is a sign of weakness

Love is a sign of weakness
Hate is a sign of weakness

Quitting is a sign of weakness
Pursuing is a sign of weakness

People will always try to define you as weak
Whenever they want, whenever they seek

So do what feels right and fine
And ignore their “signs”

The depression is eating me alive
As Enormous pressure digs deep
I wonder if my soul can revive
For my soul is in desperate need
Wanting to be in a peaceful meadow
While the rays of sun strike my skin gently
Not drowning in a sea so deep below
Nor being judged intently
I want to walk with my head high
Destroying every low spirit talk
I don’t want to live in the fear to die
Or worst in the fear of mock
I don’t desire perfection or the finest thing
Nor I want people with poinsous fangs
I just want my life to be in sync
By the ancient concept of yin and yang

Your eyes took me beyond the oceans
There where the birds sway with the breeze
They are filled with red roses and colorful beam
A natural sense of innocence
A strong maturity and security
Your eyes took me beyond galaxies
There where a million stars rests in the sky
They are filled with fantasies you can’t defy
A musical sound of serenity
A powerful wisdom and integrity
beauty beyond beauty
Your eyes were an everlasting movie

Some men are cruel
Some men are mad

Some men are fools
Some men are bad

Some men are kind
Some men are wrong

Some men are blind
Some men are strong

Some men are cold
Some men are grateful

Some men are gold
Some men are unfaithful

Some men are insecure
Some men are lovely

Some men are mature
Some men are bubbly

Some men might have a heart of ash
But not all men are a piece of trash

That toxic blood needs to stop
Flowing into my mind and heart

That poison running through my veins
Locking all of my senses in chains

The wildest thoughts rushing in my brain
Making my body twist and shiver in pain

That toxic blood needs to die
So my mind and heart can survive

A small whisper says give up
A smaller whisper says be tough
And there I am stuck
Which whisper should I trust

Open endings in movies are always amusing
Some people decide that it’s a happy ending
The guy gets the girl
They save the world
They are still alive
They still thrive

While others decide it’s more of a dramatic ending
The guy doesn’t get the girl
Sacrifices are made to save the world
This person is dead
And the story comes to an end

Maybe our endings just reflect what we expect for ourselves?

When the moon raises slowly in the sky
I drive pass the crowded streets

I look at the grass and feel the wind passing by
That cold yet soft breeze

Car lights spread across so fast and hazy
As I listen to the slow song on repeat

My heart flutters seeing the moon daisies
While my thoughts dig in so deep

I love this moment, when the world is slow
I just close my eyes and go with the flow

A candy corner filled with treats
All eating and all laughing
As I came closer in delight
Of all the sweets I can get
An old woman reached down
To get the box of treats she fed
But came back up as a witch
With grey strikes on her hair
A gloomy wrinkly face
And darkness cursed in the air
She took what was in her hand
And instantly she stabbed
As I woke up with my hip in pain
This nightmare has left me faint

Sometimes I am on the verge
On the verge to cry
On the verge to break
On the verge to die
For all I really want
Is someone by my side

Look up to the sky
And close your eyes

Bring your feet together
In the snowing weather

Hold the gold dust tight
As it lights up bright

Blow it into the wind
And make a wish

Life is hard
It has never been easy
But the greater the hardship
The greater the reward
If the door closes
The gates will open
If the rain sheds
The flowers will bloom
And we are just like the sun
It goes down and comes right back up

Grey feelings is what I feel
No colors at all
Desperately wanting to heal

Star flower shine so bright
Star flower light up the night

Star flower next to the moon
Star flower grow and bloom

Star flower warm to the heart
Star flower with colors of art

Star flower sings with love
Star flower raise up above

A woman with great wisdom and truth
touches the burning sun with ease
as she promised to make an oath
to never shed in tears
A woman with a gentle soul
but with heart of steel
takes the hero's role
and follows her dreams
A woman who owns the knowledge key
stands in front of the mirror
wanting to be the woman she sees

clouds fill up my head
time for reality to end
time for me to dance with my lover
time for me to isolate what bothers
time for me to be the star
time for me to get far
time for me to make mountains move
time for me to cure mental wounds
time for me to navigate into my fantasy
time for me to live in my own reality

The lands are the limits
The skies are the limits
The planets are the limits
Your heart limits the limits

They say the eyes are the window to a persons soul
So why am I misjudged for a dark one
If they can truly see what’s my soul
They would not spit and run
For what’s inside is gold

Black and white
Glitter falls
As the angels drop
From the sky above
Glow and rise
Echo calls
Through the colored wind
Clouds start to mend

Saying a simple word
Can change a persons world

Wither it is for the good or bad
Wither it makes him happy or sad

With one simple word
You can either feel cozy or burn

Dim the lights
Close your eyes
Try to sleep
Begin to dream
Clouds of pink
Rivers to drink
Music to dance
Lovers hold hands
Instruments can fly
Moon can rise
Stars glow bright
Two souls reunite
No pouring rain
Or horrible pain
Dim the lights
Close your eyes

In your eyes,
I see the sky in gleaming blue

In your heart,
Never thought it would be true

In your walk and in your pace,
I don’t wanna go no other place

Without you.

When you smile,
My thoughts just flutter all around

When you talk,
Music spark so clear and loud

And when you laugh and when you dance,
I never thought I had a chance

Without you.

A burden in my heart
Has prevented me from speaking
As my words can cut through diamond
And still is not enough
To express the heavy burden
That is in my heart

The pen wrote this
Not me
The pen wrote this
So free
The pen wrote
What I couldn’t see

Do I have regrets?
It always starts with a yes
And ends with a no
For the things I wish have happened
We’re not meant to be
And the things I wished to never
We’re absolutely crucial
To form, grow, and stand
The beautiful person I am

Patience is always the key
It is what we need to receive
It is to get what’s meant to be
Not through rush
But by patience and trust

Why is it back??
That feeling of despair
I thought it was gone
Disappeared into thin air

I lost myself
Pondering in my thoughts
What it is
And what’s not

A part of me wants to hold you
A part of me wants to kiss you
A part of me wants to love you
A part of me wants this bliss
But a part of of me wants to get over this

Do you see me ?
No you can’t
Do you see me
For who I am
Or do you see
What you want me to be
A person you desire
That’s not me

Music through my veins bleed
Spreading the crimson beat

As my mind lights deep
And my soul starts to breath

Melodies start to rest free
From my head to my feet

Musical sheets my heart can read
Sorrow, intense, yet sweet

Words of long devoted passion I hear
Years of uprising and downfalls I feel

All is quite, all is sealed
As music through my veins bleed

Sometimes I lack creativity
And that scares me
I think that I will not be able to write again
Feels like all of my work was just pretend
But creativity has its time and place
You don’t have think out of space
Creativity will flow
Wither it’s sun or snow
Creativity will show

My heart is pretty broken
And it *****
To think that one person
Could wreck us
With just an innocent smile
My brain explodes
And within a long mile
I’m at their road
Just stuck in a constant circle
And it *****
To think that my musings are eternal
And still love

Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Hold it together
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
No tears ever
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
It will pass
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Stop being sad
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Think about this
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Just go rest
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
......................
Ok let it out

I love the way you lie
It’s just like an onion
Delicious but makes you cry

A bird I called fruity
Spread her wings across the sun
Going up to the heavens above
As she enjoys the trees beauty
And sings to the melodies as they run
Your free spirit is something I am proud of

A cruel heart will never win
Yet the human mind seems blank
As the light inside of the soul dims
And the devil starts to sing
You will never see the heavens of god
You will always be a toxic drop
For I will always feed on your heart’s sins
While you remain paper thin

If a fish can’t fly in the sky
And a bird can’t swim in the sea
Then how can I expect to be something
That is simply just not me

I am either fire or ice
There is no in between
I am either below zero
Or a flame you can see

My heart hurts so much
As pain starts to rush
I maybe over exaggerating
Or just hopelessly debating
But I feel cracks expand
When I can’t feel your hand
I feel so very weak
Yet I can’t go to sleep
When I think for countless minutes
Of all the possible struggles and limits
That I will not be with you
That dreams will never come true
I never thought that for a moment
Time could be so worthless
For a person who doesn’t even care
Wither I am sad, happy, or just there
It’s strange that my heart stings
And my head rings
For someone so far of hold
In both body and soul