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789 · Dec 2020
after a year
Tori Alva Dec 2020
It is too late my dear
You cannot mend my wounds
Not when you were the one
That caused them
I was alone, in pain, in need
For affection I would never get
You left me
Yet you feel the need to be forgiven
I cannot allow that
I wish for you to experience
The heartbreak would feel like a lifetime
But in fact lasted a year
I’m finally able to let you go.
238 · Oct 2020
Al
Tori Alva Oct 2020
Al
I am selfish
So selfish
Holding onto you as if you were mine
I can’t see you with someone else
But I know, you will never be mine
We like to pretend, that much is true
Are we really ready after all we’ve been through?
Don’t leave me
My heart can’t take it
Let me go
Maybe that way it’ll work
Love me
Hate me
Desire me
Despise me
I will take anything you offer love
I hope you never see this
231 · Mar 2020
pretender
Tori Alva Mar 2020
A cold breeze caresses my skin
Gentle, yet sharp at the touch,
My cheeks flush at sight
I gasp rushing my arms around my waist
Memories flood my mind
A smile creeps on my face
There I am, phone at hand just typing away
“Where did that girl go?”, I wonder
The feeling of nostalgia takes over
Only that this time, it’s for the worst
Tears stream slowly as if time decided to torture me once again
This pain will never go away
Regain your strength beautiful,
I whisper to myself over and over again
I need to get back, or I’ll be gone forever
Wipe away those tears
Blink them away if you must
I’m up ready to face the world but first,
Let me plaster a fake smile
That’s what I do best
For I am a master at this
hope it’s good enough
230 · Oct 2020
tired
Tori Alva Oct 2020
Time keeps passing by
No word from you ever since
I am tired of waiting
When will this end?
Meet me in my dreams
That will be my closure
Do not forget me
I want you to suffer
idk why I keep thinking about them
Tori Alva Nov 2020
You tell me I should take care of myself
Why does it concern you?
Is it because you are afraid of what they might think?
Don’t worry
I won’t embarrass you
I’d rather leave
Be true to yourself
198 · Mar 2020
Purple Hyacinth
Tori Alva Mar 2020
A bright and shiny amethyst
could never compare
To the beauty of the flower
that holds words a heart wouldn’t bear
Each petal represents syllables
kept at the tip of your tongue
Forgive me I couldn’t speak
But fear not, this has only begun
A handful of petals are enough to say,
I’m sorry things didn’t go your way
What forced you to do this?
Was it all part of your plan?
Spurring emotions I’ve never known
Just to satisfy your hunger
But these feelings were never yours to own
Yet deep inside I know I’m wrong
So I give this flower 
Acknowledging I was swoon
Remember me
This is my last wish upon the moon
This flower has always been one of my favorites.
190 · May 2020
the song
Tori Alva May 2020
You dedicated it to me
Broke ideals on what good music was
My ears would never get tired of it
Heart beating to that unforgettable rhythm
the first word
174 · Mar 2020
Rainbow
Tori Alva Mar 2020
Red
A love so deep
The ocean couldn’t compete
And thus it would perish

Orange
Flames take over my body
I have no control over these emotions
And it’s simply causing commotion

Yellow
I guess happiness just isn’t for me
Deep down you knew
We weren’t meant to be

Green
Shall we meet in our next life?
Loosing you for now
Will have to suffice

Blue
Let my sorrow reach you
My tears will drown me soon
For I am destined to feel doom

Purple
I’m done trying so hard
Get done with it
You’ve already broken my heart
I still have feelings for this person.
160 · Mar 2020
Mirror
Tori Alva Mar 2020
I saw my reflection blink
Once...twice...and a third time
Shivers run down my spine
As I take in those deep eyes of mine
Staring
Gawking at my features
What’s there to look at?
The look of pity she has
That I have, fills me with rage
What does she know?
Don’t judge me or else
I might just...
No, not today, maybe next time
When you’re not looking
So I’ll cover you up in order to stop that penetrating gaze of yours
I’ve had this in mind for a while
136 · Oct 2021
compunctious
Tori Alva Oct 2021
Loneliness fills my heart
It yearns for some affection
As the leaves fall during equinox
This lowly ***** starts to frail
I am losing myself
I cannot control this feeling
I want to disappear
Please, take me with you
136 · May 2020
again and again
Tori Alva May 2020
Maybe we weren’t meant to be
And that’s totally fine
But the hole you left in my heart
Will stay intact
Until I find someone worthy
Someone who won’t hurt me
The way YOU did
126 · Apr 2020
reminiscing
Tori Alva Apr 2020
autumn will now be your season
you are plastered all over it
and no matter how hard I try
you will always be,
a memory is not enough
Missing someone
126 · Apr 2020
Note to self
Tori Alva Apr 2020
How many times do I have to repeat myself?
You are nothing.
119 · Apr 2020
unobtainable
Tori Alva Apr 2020
Why is it that we want things we can never have?
We long for them as if they’re meant to be ours
But they will never be
102 · May 2020
cycle
Tori Alva May 2020
I keep waiting for your name to
Pop up on my phone,
I must be daydreaming again
101 · May 2020
you
Tori Alva May 2020
you
It’s nights like these where I need you to hold me,
and tell me everything is going to be just fine.
98 · Apr 2020
1:43
Tori Alva Apr 2020
Remember when you used to admire the moon?
It would shine brightly upon your window
Its white light brought hope to your eyes
But now it’s become dull
All you can see is darkness
A darkness that will slowly,
But surely consume you
Wake up already
You have to see the moonlight once again
95 · Mar 2020
Friend
Tori Alva Mar 2020
And although we might never cross paths
I wish you the best the world has to offer
You deserve to be happy
You deserve to find true love
I’ll always be here for you
Even if you decide to cut me off
Forever
I was thinking about my dear friend.

— The End —