I think of all the different lives
I have lived over the years
And I mourn the losses
of all the personalities
                 friendships
                 memories
                 that I will never get back.

Time is cruel like that;
it just comes barreling through and
takes
takes
takes.

But I suppose what comes along with the taking,
is also the giving
of new faces
    new blood
    new love
    new heartache.

I cannot say that I wouldn’t have it any other way,
For I think we can all agree
that we aren’t given much of a choice,
otherwise.

I feel off
Like there is something missing
Between my skin and my soul and my heart and my teeth.
It hurts a little -
Like the cold does.

I am shivering.
My bones feel fragile -
Not like they could break but like they could just melt into nothing.
Maybe I want them to.

I am weak.
My eyes beg to not be forced
to stay open any longer
But the dark makes it hard to speak.

I don't want to talk anymore about anything to anyone.
But I am dying
of silence.
I am dying
of heartache.
I am dying
of me.

They said If I took cough syrup that I could die
Slowly I gave the escape from reality a try
But I drank more than the recommended amount

After a while I lost count
The liquid tastes best mixed with sprite
Friends pushed away , and confusion in sight
The devil brought out my innocence one night

I layed crying on the bathroom floor
And the devil out the door
The purple liquid down the drain
And nothing to escape from the pain

I write what I see,
Because I am blind.
I write what I hear,
But I am deaf.
I write what I feel,
But paralyzed.
I write what I smell,
In my burnt nose.
I write what I taste,
The only sense left,
And thank the day,
Because it can be worse.

they say that alcohol releases another side of you
to say the things you wouldn't say sober
to feel more or feel nothing
to bold while faded
it's intoxicating

perhaps that's why I am drawn to you
your presence challenges me
challenges me to be bold and be me
the thrill is intoxicating
but you're gentle arms invite me
like the warm feeling the liquor gives me
but then you turn cold and sour
I'm left confused and feeling hungover

Dog walkers come from far and wide, to walk their dogs by their side.
They come by car, with dog, lead, and toys; dogs barking for joy as they arrive.
The door is opened, the dogs jump out, barking getting louder, as their owners shout!
Wait a minute boy, don't pull on the lead, not long now you can soon run free.
Not a care in the world, the dog runs and runs fetching the ball for its owner with pride, dropping it neatly at their side, looking up with big wide eyes; waiting and longing for another surprise.
Where will it get thrown next they look wonderingly, trusting their owner dutifully.
The owner pats their loyal dog on its head and rewards it with a treat.
The dog pays the owner back by falling at its feet.
Dog tired and ready to return back home, it climbs back in the car.
Settles down, no barking now, it's time to get some sleep.
A dog's life is a free life and one without care.
A simple life, no thrills or flare, a good life I do declare.