It takes about 365 days for the Earth
to make one complete rotation around the sun.
It takes 365 days to make a year filled with
memories and experiences that one will never forget.

But the crazily depressing fact that I’ve recently learned
is that the world won’t stop spinning,
nor will it tilt off axis, if I disappear from it.
It ***** to know that you can live 525,600 minutes
without even thinking of me.
I hate the thought of being that worthless —
that even if I just turned invisible,
you wouldn’t even know it.

It hurts more than you think,
realizing that I never mattered that much anyway ;
To know that you’d be perfectly fine without me
heck maybe you’d be even happier that way.
I can’t stand the thought that
even after the 365 ways I’ve tried,
you’ve found 365 more to get away.

I'm fighting hard for a reason to stay
I'm trying hard my demons to slay
But my swords are all broken, turned to rust
I'm afraid I'm all hollow, I'm but a crust
I'm striving to see the light, in this inky thick darkness
But to my screams and pleas, only the demons harkens

Where is my guardian angel
I'm in danger
Where is my knight in shining armor
I can't find a safe harbor
Where is my sweet dear friend
I'm afraid it's close to the end

I'm trying to save myself, it's not working
I'm trying hard, I'm not shirking

I need someone to care, I need a helping hand
Before my hourglass runs out of sand
I'm running out of time
Worthless is this life of mine

I'm sorry I don't laugh like you think I should laugh
I'm sorry that I'm not as smart as you in math
I'm sorry that I'm not going down the right path

In your eyes all you see
Is a complete failure that is me
If only
You could **** me out like all the other
flaws you've taken out

I won't doubt
That you know a lot
So take your shot
I used to fight but I promise this time I won't  

So pick out all the mistakes you see
Then I'll only be perfect in your eyes
I swear this time I will not cry
So keep on going
Keep on throwing insult after insult
So after this assault
I'll be perfect like you want me to be
But don't be surprised when you realize I'm no longer me

When they stripped me of my dignity
lashing me -
for all of our community to see

My body a damaged cage
wrinkled in the square
pathetic and quivering.

My smile was clawed from my face
by savages
who did not believe in 'happy'.

They beat me 'til I was broken
bent out of shape,
had I been a contortionist it would have been painless
but oh! it was pain I felt as every inch of me
was broken and shattered - snapped like a twig.

Yet no mark could the human eye see
I was just a girl
lying in the rain, whose touch burned like acid.

My clothes did not resemble the tatters I felt them to be,
my hair was brushed and not the state they had yanked it into,
not an inch of makeup was smudged across my face.

Funny the effect a few words can take.

I am your friend, your family
Always there when you need me
To attend to my matters, I leave
I return to see your new family

They are your friends, your family
I respect them because you do highly
I tried to see, I tried to love
To no avail, I failed without luck

It was too much, all to much
To see myself replaced, every time
To feel love only when they're gone
Is that all I am to you, your last one?

You need not say my role in your life
It was obvious, don't even lie
Plan Z, the least, your last
Among those names, call me what you like

I don't intend to persuade you
I don't intend to persuade your words
I don't intend to persuade your side
I don't intend to persuade your mind
For you are you and I am me
I cannot change you to who I wish you could be
You are you
And I am still just worthless little old me

To never be good enough is an indescribable feeling.
No matter how much you want happiness, you feel like you never deserve it.
People can reassure you , but deep down in your heart , you know it's true.
You're useless
You're good for nothing.
You can't do even the simplest mundane task without feeling worthless.
The world would be a better place without you.
Your existence means less than a grain of salt.
With no rhyme nor reason,  why are you still here?
Are you meant to serve a greater purpose?
Maybe.
You just can't fathom it yet.
Your mind is useless too.