I enter the bathtub filled with warm water
To wash away the stress and trauma.
The liquid which used to bring me so much comfort
And so much fear.

The water i used to warm my hands with,
The water i used to make food i hoped no one knew about,
The water i gave my dying dog,
The water that kept me alive.

And i sit there, thinking about it.
About everything that can happen
In the span of 4 years.
Earth is a strange place indeed,
As it is filled with water.

“Would You die for me” she asked him, standing In the snow on a cold december night. Light blared from the busy festival tents that surrounded them. His reply was in a soft tone, and warm like a fireplace. “I'd say yes, but I'd be lying, I'd say I'd pull my heart out, but that too would be a lie. See my love, to die for you would be selfish,  and I'm not selfish.“ Her smile faded as he spoke his piece in the snowy air, “but I'd live for you” he said, taking her hand. "I'd spend my days spreading your name like a deity ready to worship, and if no one did, I'd worship you enough to compensate”. Silence fell between them, for a moment it was just the two of them, she finally spoke “i like that answer”.

I feel loved
When a handshake
Somehow turned into a hug

I feel loved
When we talk over
Coffee and massages

I feel loved
When we put our warm hands
On each other’s arms and backs

I feel loved
When this nightmare looms,
But we have found a place to say
“Welcome home”.

Love tramples my bitter heart
Shadows follow my feet
Through deep pool of frustration I wade
Legs may as well be made of concrete

To find exit in this forest of grief
Quiet the picture of you in my mind
Grows in the gaps your absence has rendered
Tiniest light so sharp leaves my eyes blind

That chases progress in circles
Some wishes aren't meant to come true
Worth it warming memories over smoldering embers
For peace that passed away with you

Sunbeams through the window are like childhood memories—
Warm, vivid, and simply true.
And they never leave me, even when I’ve forgotten.

some dream of warmth
some dream of flying

some spend mornings lying
balancing on the edge
between sleep and awake

half dreamt images
of dancing flames
closeness
heat warming their face

or lingering sensations
of falling
remembering soaring
through the sky


meeting someone
share the dream
such a rarity

find and be found
instead of searching
the reason we search

few words needed
when minds mere touch
feel like home

to know already
the smile in your voice
to words not said

the touch of your hand
in mine
without holding

few words needed
none allowed

to share a dream
is unspoken


there had been signs to indicate
you too hid matches in your coat

if one were to find them now
others not to be ignored
remember

tasting on your skin
a silent longing for
someone to share your skies


nothing now in your eyes
but squinting back to see

attempts at finding
wordless answers

some do not remember dreams
they have but half dreamt images
lingering sensations

if you had but asked
if only I had shared
I never wanted flying

I dream of fires

I’ve always wanted the mountains
The cold, French love, and fresh snow
Rain, writing as my passion, pale and
On my own

You’ve always wanted the warm beach
The rays of sunshine, Spanish romance,
The sand between your toes, with a
Family and God by your side

I’ve imagined a family, as I’ve gotten older
I’ve imagined warmth and people
I’ve learned to be faithful and to love
A romance of a new language, waves
Crashing into me with more force than
I can stand

Your dreams became mine, my dreams became
Your lips on me forever. Rings that
Symbolize more than pride and wealth
Children that look like you
Warmth in the life that has only known the cold
A future with you

The air is cold
The dirt is too
But the bench is warm
When I'm sitting next to you