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this is what i've become
time has no meaning for me anymore
not enough hours in the day
and it's all your fault
you started the chain reaction
i am lucky to have a night without dreams
i blame you for my scarred soul
that would flicker like a candle in a breeze
in the wake of another bad dream

stemming from my broken heart
i am terrified to sleep
i want you to wake up crying like me
just to understand what you did to me
i'd like to see you do it
get your heart obliterated
but you've spread so many false feelings
i doubt that you have a heart to obliterate

that's all changing now
one single message
that's all it takes for me to smile
for the particles of my heart to solidify
and beat faster once more
that one single message
full of care, and true worry
for my sanity
for the darkening circles under my eyes
for me
i'm not so scared to sleep anymore

he rubs my knee while I snore
wakes me when i whimper or cry
his fingers drawing circles on my palm
make goosebumps explode over my skin
for once, i have pleasant dreams
hardly appropriate considering how
his kisses take me to another plane
those brown eyes make me weak
he's more than you could ever be
a gentleman
someone i can trust with my heart
and with my dreams

he's willing to wait for me
keep me safe
make me smile
i can't remember the last time I felt
let alone comfort from a boy's hug
i could sleep right there
on his shoulder
without a single care

but then

the odd night comes around
i finally get to sleep at a time
that's considered reasonable
you creep back into my dreams
to rip my heart out all over again
this time, i imagine him there
warm arms circle my waist
cold hands hold mine
my dreams melt away as my eyes focus
the dark makes it hard but
white eyelashes flutter on his face
as he tugs me closer
and smiles to himself
when i curl into him and close my eyes.
Pure Bliss May 2018
The day is rainy,
The night is long,
Without you I’m nothing,
When I’m with you I feel as though time stops around us and we’re the only ones who can move,
I feel as though the birds chirp louder,
The bees buzz more eloquently,
When I’m with you the water looks more blue
Like the sky without clouds,
I think more,
I feel more,
I see more,

When I’m with you my heart rate slows,
My thoughts become more positive as though a wave has cleared away all of the negativity and left behind only positivity,
When I’m with you I become more understanding of who we are as a couple,
I feel as I am meant to be with you for the rest of my life!
Sally A Bayan Nov 2016
are always a journey,
hours can move so slow, or pass by quickly
somehow, we think of good times and bad times
back to our innocent days........and stubborn ways...
late hours could bring out perfect landscapes,
or, chilling moonscapes, from a fecund mind        
every corner, every moment, every gust of wind
every act...becomes an incipient inspiration,
then come verses on existence and experiences,
our awakenings.....impressions on love's essence,
newfound feelings...we write about God's presence,
we question concepts on life here on earth, and
life thereafter.....wondering, if Heaven, or hell
occurs right here on earth, in our midst, or deep within
ourselves...or, maybe, in another sphere...different...
my folks often told us  then, maybe as a deterrent,
"Heaven and hell, are places....for consequences
of our earthly actions...they're afterlife occurences..."


Copyright November 18, 2016
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
Tab Dec 2015
I remember the little things from 2AM
the sound of the typewriter
Eternal Sunshine for the spotless mind playing in the background
the faint smell of coffee
I remember the big things from 3AM
how loud your voice was when you yelled at me
all the broken glass laying around
the strong smell of blood
I remember the words from 4AM
"I love you"
"But I can't do this"
"Its me, not you"
I remember the tastes from 5AM
Salty tears and hard liquor
I remember at 6AM
Thinking that I'm not a morning person and crawled into bed
I'm super proud of this one, idk why but I am.
Cordelia Rilo Sep 2015
The gardeners are too noisy in the morning
I can't stay asleep
I hear the chainsaw's screams
I feel the rose's pain

My head throbs from not sleeping
Long nights buried in books
Cold nights wrapped in blankets

The cats fight and the babies cry while
I let the shower run hot
Chest burning
Suffocating breaths in thick steam

I went to bed early
My hair still wet
I closed my heavy eyes
Searched my pill box

— The End —