I'm waiting on a number of things:
When will you reply, though I gave you wings
To fly away if you will, and you have the right;
I'm waiting for inspiration to strike me in the night
That I am again OK without you - I don't need to feel
My heart implode when I read my old poetry, to steel
Myself when I see apparitions of what I had desired,
To blush and reproach myself for being lost, uninspired,
And pining after you again like a whipped cur; When
You hold space for me IRL
And my messages aren't a URL
Of something that I thought would resonate with you, again
I lose myself, hoping I can gain because you gain, and then
It just feels like I'm throwing my love into a void, again.
I don't just give energy like that; I don't just give thoughts;
I was divinely inspired, and I thought your beauty grand
And lovely, and still those aren't the words, and still this Noughts
& Crosses is a stalemate; And you're cross, and I'm five grand
For nought, and flippin' babbling because I'm so, so lost
And I long for your presence and your voice for me, warm as toast,
Nourishing as honey, real like salt, alive for water, and eternal
And lavender. I can forget roses, even if you like them too; lavender, like you, is eternal.

maybe the point of arriving is finding one who´s just as lost

Forever falling
Through the open hearts of outstretched arms
Tunnel vision of the past
Paves the roads ahead
The off-ramps of destiny are untamed, forgotten, and overgrown
No safety awaits me, and
There is no shelter under the roof of a broken home
Storms chase me, but
In thunderclouds I drown out the world
Wanderer
Weary of only the weather
Inside his own reflection

this beautiful heist
of each other's soul,
blind to what she stole,
oblivious to her core.

Yet it was her own being,
that helped me in fleeing
each day,
but we never crossed paths
since the dawn of may.

The blind mademoiselle,
there's no way she could tell,
it was she who gave me eyes,
reason to wander in the world
looking for her
as each waking minute dies.

He stood on the front porch
wandering through
Anger in his voice as he speaks
The message on his face could be
decoded
He roams with misery everywhere he goes
His reputation preceeds him

A longing ache has settled in
Took hold
Body and soul
Anguished heart is drenched in sin
I've missed the chaos of losing control

A rosebud sprouts darkness
Into bloom inside
My thoughts turn morbid I guess
Towards death or suicide

Raw emotions torture mind
Trust a rare commodity
Truth is challenging to find
Light impossible to see

Strength no longer fills bones
So difficult to accept
Something inside sinks like stones
Pretend I don't feel the effect

Hiding behind bursting false assurance
Behind closed doors
All the while wandering without insurance
Own chains will lift off the floor

I lost faith in what's above
Realizing vulnerability shows
The very thing I am afraid of
My unspoken woes

If only to soothe throbbing
Live in a state of peace
Fully expose the root of my sobbing
Stripped entirely of suffocating release

Dust creeps down throat
Then recedes
Plant regrets in the mud
Sprung like dandelion weeds
Invisible blades in my gut

Friends twisting handles carelessly
To and fro feelings spun then stopped
Chase fragments of what we'll never be
Off ground pick up the heart that dropped

Wandering world in a state of defeat
As I seek tomorrow
Side to side on clumsy feet
Under weight of all my sorrow

where, where did you go

away from me?

now of all times, why

does it not hurt to see me bleed?

every time i think you'll prove me wrong

right back where we started.

In the wee hour
when the world sleeps
I get my bag
and start wandering
I chase the trail
that your thoughts
are leaving behind - in the sand
and in no time
i find myself -  in wonder land
There is the hope
There is the love
There is the star of the north
There are the signs all along
In that moment
when the bond is very strong
you glitter
like a jewel in the crown
and when the day breaks at last
I come home
with a bag full of words
to pen them down